Desperados
by Lord Belgarion and Post
Summary: The Teen Titans expand. Rookie members Bard and Noir find their place among heroes. It is a new universe with surprise and adventure. [TS and TBE AU fic][Pageants are for crashing]
1. Enter Noir

_They say that you never get second chances._

_They say that you can't just knock on the door and receive the world on a silver platter._

_But when you're crazy enough to actually want to save the world—a psychosis in and of itself—then you find yourself at liberty to do many a thing._

_Even if that thing is as self-destructive as it is self-rectifying._

_These days are the hardest for me to meditate. It's not just a matter of the weight of responsibility I now share. It's not even a difficulty in coping with the sudden, heart-attacking epidemic of fame and notoriety I seem to have acquired._

I can't keep myself sane enough because—for the first time in years—I feel like I can sleep without having my head suddenly, inexplicably ripped off. I am still getting used to this perplexing peace. This terrible tranquility.

_I have seven people to thank for that. Well… ….make that eight. Though the latter benefactor is as much a paranoid pilgrim as I. I am not a true hero, but these wild cards whose deck I have slid into more than define the meaning of the term. They are a royal flush of righteousness, and may fate bless them with more might than I myself can muster._

_But that's not how a true adept of Balance thinks. This universe is a fabric of life and death: an arena within which I am forced to pick up the slack for everyone and bridge the gap between their inevitable shortcomings. That is my role. My sacrifice. My hit taken for the team. Although—admittedly—it's hard for a rookie such as myself to find exactly what those 'shortcomings' are when it comes to these… …experts…_

My Master would have been proud of them. Such courage and fortitude. Such endurance.. …

_All of this flutters and flails through my brain with a force of zero-g, almost akin to the way my brain boils as I presently plummet fifteen stories in a earthbound comet of blackness and sail through the Museum skylight below._

_Swoooo-oooooooooo-ooooooooosh—**SHATTTTTTTER!.!.!.!**_

The shards of glass explode downward from the ceiling. They glitter and glint from the cosmic starlight above as I twirl from the impact, trail incorporeal smoke from every corner of my falling limbs, and angle my lithe body at the last second to land in a full-figured squat on the black-and-white tile of the Museum floor.

_Th-Thwump!_

_Tnk!-Tnk!-Tnk!-Tnk!_ The sea of glass lands all around me. Like a frozen water fountain. And there I am, a smoking crater in the center of the dark-lit exhibit. I throb and ooze all over with tendrils of obsidian fume. Flexing…. …meditating.. … …regaining my bearings.

And as soon as my spatial sense of smoke filters throughout the echoing chamber, I know within a heartbeat that I am not alone.

"_Wh-What the Hell?"_ A thug twirls with a semi-automatic machine gun.

"_Holy crap! Did you see that?"_ A second. He's trying to laser-cut his way into a glass display of rocks with a third. _"No way!"_

"_The Titans? Here already?"_

I sense a heavy-set body. A man sporting two uzzis. He marches up and snarls: "Wait, that ain't Robin! What gives?"

"It's one of the n-noobies! Don't you read the papers?"

"Huh? Noobies?"

I inhale. _'Noobie'. I guess I should get used to that._ I look up. I glare. Two bare black eyes of bulbous freakishness brimming with smoke. Bangs of black abandon dangle over my brow and fray outward behind my neck as I reach a hand back to an obsidian sheathe. _Something tells me, **they** are about to get used to it a heck of a lot harder._

**CHIIIIING!** I've pulled it out. My longtime friend and busom buddy. A mahogany blade made magically serrated by the sheer, ebony fabric that holds this chaotic world together.

Myrkblade.

"H-He's got a sword!"

"What are you waiting for? Waste him already!"

Guns are aimed at me. Barrels. Muzzles. Nearly two dozen of them--

I grit my teeth and slide up into a half-crouch. At this time and place, a little yellow communicator squabbles an authoritarian voice from where it rests nestled in a shoulder pocket.

"_Snkkkt—Noir! Are you there?"_

Robin. He speaks. He lives. He resonates through me with his electronic voice.

I can't answer.

And he knows that: _"We're almost there. **KEEP. THEM. OCCUPIED."**_

I exhale. Fumes and murk….

Yeah, I can do that….

_**RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!**_

_**RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!**_

_**BLAM! BL-BL-BLAM!**_

A wave of lead thunders at me.

I clench my teeth, rocket up to my feet in a smoking streak, and twirl my thundercloud of a blade in a menacing cyclone ahead of me—**_SL-SL-SL-SL-SL-SLICE!.!.!_** Bullets sever in half. Sparks fly. The lead pellets turn to dust before me just as the heaviest of the shrapnel flood fountains my way—

"Dammit! PINCUSHION 'EM ALREADY!"

"We're trying—Holy shit, he's fast—" **_THUNK!_** The hapless guard's shout is cut short as soon as his jaw is knocked off its frame. I'm suddenly right in front of him in a smoking plume as he spits blood and unwittingly offers his back as a springboard to vault over, leap over a wave of bulletfire—**_SWOOOSH!_**—and go plummeting in a gravity-induced downswing of my entire sword's length.

**_CRK-CRK-CRAAAK!_** I sever the barrels off three guns at once. The guards gasp—then lose their breaths as I'm suddenly sliding on the ground between them and twirling on my back with my leg and sword stretched out—**_THWP-THWP-THWP-THWP!_**—the impromptu 'breakdance' knocks the feet out from all three men. Their severed guns go falling down heavily, and a chamber or two chaotically explode amidst the fray.

_**P-POW!**_

"Dah! Jesus!" The grittiest thug shields himself with a meaty forearm as metal bits and floor tire chunks fly into his face. He squints his eyes, stares across the hazy interior, and blinks desperately to see—

**_FW-FW-FW-FW-FWOOOOSH!_** A human-shaped cloud of **black** is wisping its way around the glass displays of exotic rocks and minerals. It slides across a glinting speck of moonlight from another skylight, twirls an ebony sword, and rockets straight his way—**_FWOOOOSH!_**

"Not tonight, freak!" The thug spits and flings his meaty fist straight out at _me_(!)

My black eyes bulge inhumanely. I wince like a pinpricked Elmer Fudd and tilt back into a hapless, last-second limbo as I spot with my metahuman eyes his fist sailing a hair's breadth over my nose in perpetual slow motion. _SWOOOOSH!_ I gasp. I blink. I sweatdrop… …

I falter.

**_WHUMP!_** His other set of knuckles suddenly swings in and connects with my belly. The air is forced out of my lungs, and all the murking essence that was once trailing from me like a dark comet goes sailing helplessly back into my thin, dark-suited frame. My black hair fountains forward and into my line of vision as I weakly feel the muscled miscreant grabbing me by the shoulders, grunting loudly, and swinging me full-force into a glass display of meteorite fragments across the chessboard interior.

**_CRASSSSH!.!.!_** I flail through a fresh new sea of glass and collapse across the tile. I wince, cough, and fumble around blindly to feel my loose and fallen blade.

_I hate…. …and I do mean **hate** broken glass… …_

"Serves you right, punk-ass fart monster!" The heavy-set thug warbles.

I cough. I wheeze. _Whatever, handsome._ **Chiiii-iiiing.** I hear Myrkblade before I even realized I've picked up the tool of Balance in my hand. I try to stand up, but my knees are wobbling.

"_Snkkkt—Noir, report!"_ Robin's mistakable voice once against assaults my aching ears. _"Were you successful in detaining the thugs?"_

I clench my teeth, my black eyes spotting beyond the glass sea a momentary glimpse of half-a-dozen groaning crooks lying dormant on the floor. The other half of the museum burglars struggling to make sense of the last few seconds of Hell, much less regain control of their bladders.

I'd say I 'detained the Hell out of them'. But in all honesty… …

I tap my shoulder communicator with a left finger. Twice. It is a simple code that the Titans need to 'hear' so as to recognize a simple response from their recent, silent inductee.

'No.'

"Snkkkt—Hang tight. Cyborg and Raven are arriving in the T-Car, and soon the rest of us will be there in time to stop whatever those crooks think they're—"

"_Snkkkt—Dude! Robby, you there?"_

"Snkkt—What is it, Beast Boy?"

Wincing, I turn my head from the squabbling to watch the recovering thugs stumble to their feet and re-cocking their semi-automatics.

"Let's shoot the kid while he's not moving for once!" a whiny thug hisses with his finger on a trigger.

The meaty one who decked me earlier plants a hand on the thug's shoulder and loudly interjects: "NO. We've got more important things than beating the shit out of no good neer-do-bunks."

I clench my fists….

"But we can't just let—"

WRIII! WRIII! WRIII! WRIII!

Red flashing lights. Strobing. A high-pitch squeal that only a mother could love.. …then drown in her bathtub and blame it on post-partum depression.

"Crud—The alarm!" a bruised thug bled.

"See what I mean? We gotta get these rocks to the boss!" The meaty one hisses and rams his entire fist into the glass display they were cutting into earlier. **_CRASSSSH!_** He grabs a fistful of a ruby-quartz material that makes my black eyes twitch at the faintest, long-distance glimmer. "Let's blow!"

I make to blur after them in an inhuman streak---

"Keep Freakboy at bay!"

"On it!" **_RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!_**

I silently gasp, leap, twirl, and dive to the side behind a metal display of African minerals. _CL-CL-CL-CLANKKK!_I cower for cover, panting and holding my head down. The bullets shower all around me. Sparks. Shrapnel. The works…

And barely in the corner of my thunder-stricken ears I can hear my communicator further squabbling: "_Beast Boy, make it fast! Noir's being overwhelmed and we haven't much time—"_

"_Cyborg and Raven ain't gonna be the first ones there, dude."_

"WHAT? But I thought we went over this plan thoroughly and I decided that—"

"I couldn't stop him, man! He took off on a motorcycle and will be blazing there any second!"

"_Who took off on a motorcycle?"_

"_Who do you **think**?"_

I exhale. With hope, with vigor, with urine—I peer around the corner of the metal display and watch as the thugs rup up the door—"Woohoo! Home free!"—and it is there and then that the door. ….. …disagrees with them.

_**WHAM!**_


	2. Enter Bard

I've never been a team player. But, of course, I've never really been on a team of any kind either. When you grow up on the streets, you learn real darn quick how to take care of yourself without any help. You learn to be self-sufficient...or shove a cowboy boot up someone's ass, depending on the situation.

Robin told me to wait for the rest of the team. I should have done what he said.

But I didn't.

The fact that one of our own might be in trouble was a valid excuse, but old habits die hard. I'm a smoker. I know.

**VROOOOM!**

I pulled my Harley up into a wheelie and smashed through the front door of the museum. I was met with wide-eyed thugs, scrambling to get out of the way

**B-BUMP!**

One was slow to get out of the way, and he found himself trapped under the tires of my motorcycle. I ran over him and skidded the vehicle to a stop.

I hung my cowboy hat off the handlebar of the bike and stood up.

"Who else wants a one-way trip to the woodshed?"

Not one of them wanted the trip, it seemed, as they pointed uzi machine guns at me.

**RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!**

I ducked behind my bike, but there was no need. Noir blurred in front of me and twirled his blade, deflecting the shots.

The thugs apparently didn't want to fight. Instead, they used their gunfire as a delaying tactic as they filed out of what was left of the door I'd smashed through.

"They're getting away!" I jumped back on my Harley, threw on my hat and smashed the gas. The back tire skidded against the marble floor for a minute before it caught traction, leaving a long black line.

Outside, the thieves had piled into a large black van and was pulling away onto the street. Without warning, Noir jumped onto the back of my Harley. With no time to talk about it, we tore off after them. Buildings whizzed by on the left and right as we went faster and faster. The van made a sudden sharp curve and almost flipped over as it went up on two wheels before gravity forced it back down.

The back door of the van slid open and, once again, I found myself looking down the barrels of machine guns.

**RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!**

Chunks of pavement and road flew up around my bike and I turned hard to the left and right. Behind me, I felt more than saw Noir move.

"Hey!" I called behind me over the whistling air and gunfire. "Just what do you think you're-"

With a pulse of black smoke, Noir jumped off the back of my Harley towards the van. He landed heavily on the roof and would have rolled off if he didn't stab his sword into the van to use as a handle. The thugs stopped shooting at me for a moment as I'm sure they were trying to figure out how to get the swordsman off of their vehicle.

You have to give it to criminals: They might not be the sharpest knives in the drawer, but their actions are usually effective. They pointed straight up with their guns and let loose a torrent of gunfire. Noir dodged left and right, but there was no where for him to go. Finally, he leaped off and landed behind me on the bike again.

"Have fun?"

Not surprisingly, Noir didn't answer.

"Let me try, then."

I revved up the Harley and went even faster. I pulled up beside the van and saw the thug in the front seat yelling and pointing at me.

"Hah!"

I jumped off my Harley and landed precariously on the step bar of the van, leaving Noir to drive. I reared back my metal-knuckled fist and slammed it into the passenger side window. With that gone, I moved up and tried to reach into it.

**WHAM!**

A punch came out of nowhere and hit me high on the forehead. I was flung back...right into Noir, who was struggling with the motorcycle.

**SCREEEEEEEEEEETCH!**

The motorcycle flipped and skidded along the pavement, sending Noir and I barreling through the air. I hummed the ice song and enclosed us in a protective globe of ice.

The ice shattered into a thousand pieces on contact and Noir and I flipped and tumbled and scraped our way to a stop.

But the van and the thugs inside it didn't get away. Just as they reached a three way intersection, our teammates showed up.

Maybe being part of a team wasn't so bad after all.

Raven closed off one intersection with a wall of black telekinesis. Starfire and Robin on his R-Cycle blocked off another while Cyborg and his T-Car blocked off the last one. With no choice, the van skidded to a stop.

Noir and I sat up, dizzy and bruised.

**CRASSSSSHHHH!**

The pavement beneath the stopped van erupted upward, sending it flying up into the air...and, inevitably, back down. We watched as the Titans quickly surrounded the vehicle and detained the bad guys.

Terra walked up behind us with Beast Boy in tow, the yellow leaving her eyes.

Beast Boy was snickering.

"Hehehehe. Noobies."

Noir and I groaned.


	3. Newbies

"Robin's doing it again," Raven drones.

"Hmm?" Starfire stands cutely aside with her hands behind her back. Two emerald eyes blink over as she utters: "He is travailing upon doing _what_ again?"

Raven casts a bored glance across the lengths of the rubble-strewn City street. "Getting into gung-ho mode. Calling us all in to foil a simple museum robbery. Especially at night when I could be _meditating_."

"Dearest Raven, are we not enlisted in the protection of this City and its secure interests?"

"I know what we're supposed to do and not supposed to do, Star," the dark girl drones. Her violet eyes limply follow cops, paramedics, and cleanup crew. "But ever since the Brotherhood was defeated, he's been making us out to be an army. Like we have to be responsible for every grain of dust on the sidewalks and take the cockroaches in for questioning… …"

"He is merely being… …," Starfire tongues the inside of her cheek. "… …himself."

Raven sighs. "My point exactly… …"

Cyborg wanders by, taking a sensor reading with his forearm and smirking: "Well, ladies, at least we got us some extra bodies to carry the weight lately—Huh?"

"Heheheeee!" Starfire cups her hands together. "Indeed we do! The 'more the merriment', yes?"

Raven says nothing. She tyredly gazes over towards the T-Car.

I helplessly shudder. _Something about that girl gives me the chills. Sh-She doesn't think I'm staring, does she? _

_No._

No, I'm not staring.

I lean my head back and take a big swig out of a yellow canteen of water. I douse the remaining moisture over my sweaty forehead and neck. Exhaling from the sensation. Cooling. Relaxing…

I am seated on the asphalt with my back positioned against the front tire of the parked T-Car. I rest my arms on my haunches and let Myrkblade dangle in its scabbard between me and Cyborg's car. I exhale….and exhale… .. …

If this is how tyring it's going to get, how are we ever going to last a month?

I feel a stabbing strobe. Another police squad car has driven up to the crime scene where the thugs' van overturned a half-hour ago. The twirling lights hurt my eyes. I inhale through my nostrils, concentrate, and summon a thin veil of smoke to fountain protectively out of my solid black optics. I relax again and watch the scene unfold… ..or 'collapse'.

Either or. It doesn't matter.

The Titan girls—Raven and Starfire—are standing on the sidelines and watching (or waiting) as the investigation carries through. They appear peaceful side by side, despite their differences. Which must not have been an easy thing for the two femme friends to have accomplished. I can only guess—that—with all the months they've had to fight side by side, they've grown accustomed to each other enough to look this.. … …tranquil. I can only wonder if I'll ever be part of such a circle of solace. Not so much a matter of trust.. …. .._but reliability…. …_

Cyborg walks back and forth before them. He has many tricks up his sleeve, literally. Right now he is producing a scanning device from the inside of his metal wrist. I can only assume he's looking for trace remnants of the mineral samples that the crooks stole from the museum we chased them from. _You know_, broken rock pieces and stuff. Because_—dear God, we really trashed them good. Didn't we? It can't entirely be blamed on us, I guess. I suppose that's why Cyborg's not frowning as he passes us. But then again, he just gets along well with a lot of people… …_

"Like that Superman ride at Six Flags!" Beast Boy pumps his arm as he and Terra suddenly waltzes by the T-Car. "RUMMMMBLE—goes the street and—WHOOOOSH—the van goes up!… .. …Wha-BAAAM! The van goes _dowwwwwwn!_ Hahaha!"

"Tee hee hee… …"

"Dude… ..D-Dudette, you were like totally OWNING them tonight! HAH! The only reason Robin's ticked is cuz you didn't let him get a piece of the action—what, with the way you ended the thugs' run just like **that** and all!"

Terra smiles nervously and pushes a strand of gold threaded hair over her ear. "I-I didn't even know that Robin was 't-ticked' to begin with.. …"

"Pfft. Terra, you _know_ how he is with newcomers… …"

I bite my lip at that. _Yeah… …It's going to be that kind of night.. …._

"Hey. Stiff upper lip," a country singing voice reverberates to the right side of me. And I am suddenly reminded of the soft, twanging melody floating aloft all about. I turn my dark-haired head and tilt up to see him sitting on the rear of the T-Car parallel to me. He strums at his faithful guitar. Some hymnalesque country tune that is so soothing that it's no wonder I take this long to figure out that the soundtrack to life is—as always—his doing and his doing alone. It's some favorite ballad of his. A number by Johnny Strait… … …_or is it George Cash? Whatever._

He strums. He half-glances at me with a southern swagger. Glinting black shades and a broad rimmed hat like a Carolina thundercloud. His smile steadies the storm much like his expert guitar fingers facilitate: "That's what I always say. Keep your chin up. Never let new folks give you the third degree. Especially the jokesters."

I blink my smoking optics at him. I point over my shoulder at the two youngest Titans and mouth: _'Beast Boy'? 'Terra'?_

"Cyborg too. I don't know if they're trying to drive us insane before we even have a lick of a chance in making it permanent on this team they've invited us in on—But the key is not to get sick of it. And certainly not to let it get to your head."

I frown slightly. I slip my fingers up and perform a 'dance' of sorts. Swift, near-blurred sign language. Gestures so specific and direct that only a friend with a trained eye and an experience in 'watching me speak' could decipher.

And Bard does just that in an instant. A pair of eyes warmly peek out from the top rims of his shades. "You know what I'm talkin' about! You take things a little too personally, Noir. It doesn't take a lot to send your feelings for a loop, so don't let these people tread on you. No matter how much we're supposed to be steppin' to their rhythm."

I snicker. As much as a young man without a voice can snicker. I'm almost sixteen years old and yet this tall, muscled rodeo clown with cigarette breath wants to treat me like a younger brother. _Do I protest?… .. …I fervently hand-sign._

He responds with a laugh of his own. Too loud for his own good—the good of both of us. Some police officers are looking—but all too soon they are huffing the sight and sound of us noobies away and returning to their monotonous duties.

"You are!" Bard cackles, almost disrupting his guitaring. "You so are, and you know it! And don't complain about me lookin' after you, neither! Even tonight, I could have sworn you were going to get your head turned into a lead pencil hadn't I been there to dish out some of the Lord's finer instruments of _pain_."

I point at him and charade a 'vehicle slamming through a door'.

At that, the 'older brother' winces: "Er… ..well…. ..yep. That motorcycle thing was a flimsy bit unorthodox. B-But it could have been worse. Hey, what was the token white guy's name in C.H.i.P.S? Ya know, the guy who rode alongside Poncherello and always got his ass handed to him?"

I give him a lopsided raising of my eyebrows. I smirk helplessly.

"Heh.. ..Yeah…BAD ROLE MODEL," Bard hits a sour note. On purpose. He only strikes a bad note on purpose. I swear—it causes a butterfly on the opposite side of the world to die everytime. _The monarch murderer._ "Hmmm… …they're takin' a heap of time getting this crime scene under wraps," the cowboy cranes his neck and looks the way of the investigators around the smashed van. "You reckon if Terra hadn't gone all Richter Scale on the getaway vehicle, we wouldn't have all the evidence so mangled as it is now?"

I shrug. I lean back against the tire, exhale, and scratch a hand once through my neck-length black strands….

"If you ask me, she's the one screwin' up, not us," Bard strums and half-mutters. "Pfft…._Noobies **indeed**!"_

I swiftly turn to him and hand-sign.

He blinks my way. "H-Huh?"

I repeat with a flurry of fingers: _'Do not let it get to your head.'_

"Oh hush up."

I snicker breathlessly… …

Then, from above: "I'm only seeing two of ya!"

Bard does a double-take. He tilts his head up sky-ward towards an incoming glow. "Whatsit-Whosit?"

"Sorry I couldn't kick butt with ya guys earlier," Static Shock comes gliding down on a brilliant, trademark manhole cover. He kickflips the metal disc into his underarm and lands in urban grace before strolling over with a smirk. "I got delayed by an arson spree in the heart of Dakota City. Those damn Bang Babies don't know when to quit."

"With a name like that, I reckon I can't blame 'em."

"Anyways, I was saying I only see _two_ noobies here, y'all."

"Why's that, Virgil? Forgot to pack a hand mirror with you?"

Static's goggled eyes widen as he jolts back with a gasp: "Hey!" He half-crouches and hisses to us in nervous secrecy: _"What did I tell y'all about sayin' my name out in the open?"_

"Big whoop, man," Bard looks my way. "Noir, ain't that a big whoop?"

I furiously shake my head 'no'.

"Pfft! Man, you guys are whack! And for the record, I'm no noobie!"

"Uhhh…Virgil? Didn't you join the Titans just a _week_ before Noir and I here did?"

"Nuts to you! I fought with them before! Brother Blood.. …**Slade**…Huh? Slade?.? HUH?.?

I smirk and hand-sign before the two.

Static glances shiftily from me to Bard. "What's he sayin'… …?"

Bard winks. "He reckons that that was just a 'cameo' on your part."

"It weren't no cameo! It was life or death! What have you and Silent Bob there done lately that's been even _close_ to 'life or death'?"

"Well, we sure as Hell haven't been showin' up at the crime scene a flippin' _day_ late!"

Static puts on a sarcastic smile. "'Hah hah hah'. Where's Robin? I want to cast the first stone at you two."

I motion with my head towards the police business.

"Oh snap," Static grimaces. "Investigation stuff? Nuh-uh. I'm out."

"Heheheheheh," Bard strums merrily. "No Bang Babies here, man. Just paperwork."

"Sure looks like an army's worth. Whew! What in God's name happened anyway?"

"Uhm….. …I dunno, really," Bard levitates a brass-knuckled hand in mid-air and half-shrugs. "Buncha crooks were fixin' to steal an exhibit's worth of wyrd lookin' rocks from the museum, so to blitz them Robin sends 'lil Noir in first to catch the thugs off guard. Well, I respect Robin and all, but that's just plum askin' for trouble when you send a teammate alone. So….well… ..I-I took the natural responsibility of revin' up my steel horse and—"

"You blitzed them too, didn't ya?" Static folds his arms with a knowing smirk.

Bard scratches the back of his neck. "… … …m-maybe… …."

I roll my black eyes.

"Man, you've got to realize that your buddy there can look after himself!" Static points at me. "I know y'all are friends and stuff, but sometimes for the sake of the team you gotta stop _obsessing so much_ over the fact that you _are a team_—"

"There were twenty-four armed men in the exhibit room when Noir dropped in on them."

Static blinks. "… …Oh.. …erhm.. …**t-twenty-four**?"

"Yup."

"… .. ….," Static looks at me.

I look at him.

"… .. …. …," he smirks helplessly at Static and produces a pair of sparkling fingertips. "You don't suppose that Robin's late for an impromptu bit of shock treatment?"

I chuckle breathily.

"Heh heh heh," Bard manages a discreet chuckle before muttering through the edges of his lips: _"Don't look now, but---"_

Robin walks up. _No, better yet, he's been here for a good ten seconds already_: "Am I missing an important discussion?"

"DAH JEEZ!" Static jumps a foot off the ground. His ears spark like lightning rods before he hugs the manhole cover to his chest and walks awkwardly backwards. "R-Robin! B-Boss! Leader Titan-man… ..heh heh……. ….. …..H-HEY!"

"Static Shock," Robin's eyes are folded. His eyemask is narrow and his voice is rigid. _God, do I want to shudder.. …._ "You're late."

"I… …erm.. …yeah…."

Robin's eyemask narrows more… …

"… ..I just.. ..ya know…Bang Babies.. … ..a-and…erm—" He shoots his head toward the scene and suddenly brightens. "Whoah! Donuts!" **_SWOOOSH!_** He dashes over in a sparkling trail of lightning.

Bard and I gulp in the spotlight.

Robin paces to a spot between us and glares at both of us.. ….and yet neither of us in particular.

"You two in one piece?"

"Erm.. …I reckon."

I nod fervently.

"Good," Robin nods. Then almost hisses even: "We had a **plan**. What…Happened?"

"Motorcycle tires happened," Bard smiled nervously. "J-Just ask the gunman back at the museum with rubber soot all over his face."

"No time for jokes."

"Yeah? Tell that to Beast Boy," Bard points with the guitar neck.

Robin calms himself, keeps his voice low, and points at the cowboy while speaking: "I've been patient with you, Bard. You too, Noir."

I jump slightly at the sight of his…. …eyesight.

He glares at me.. …Bard… .. ..the both of us: "You were both elected onto this team to be a part of _our team. The **Titans**_. I know you two have had some experience working with each other in the past—"

I can't help it. I almost snicker—_'Some?.?.?'_.

"—but that doesn't mean you can make the rules just by yourselves. When I give an order, I make a decision on behalf of the Titans' leadership. And I expect you to obey."

"Yes, Robin."

"Next time, when I ask you to keep with the group until we are all ready to give Noir—or whoever—the backup required, you do so. Everything would have gone as planned if you had just played the part you were supposed to have."

"Yes, Robin—"

"We've performed these sorts of blitzes in the past. Only, Starfire acted as the wildcard. Because she was fast and versatile and dependable. She still is—only bad guys are starting to predict her. That's why—now that we've got some new blood in our ranks—we need to start working on better and newer surprises."

"Heh… ..sure as Hell ain't a better surprise than Noir and I here catapulting in their laps, huh, Noir?" Bard gives me the thumb's up.

I want to giggle. I give him the thumb's up, smile, turn to glance at Robin-- ----and stop smiling.

He finishes his silencing glare, sighs, and rubs his brow before resuming: "I wonder if Speedy and Bumblebee are having this much trouble getting Jinx and Kid Flash to step in line over at Titan's East…."

"Trouble? Now hold your horses, Robin!" Bard holds a hand up. "You talk as if we're total screwups! What bad could possibly have come out of what happened tonight? I mean, we whooped all the crooks' butts tonight, didn't we?"

"And in the meantime… …" _I can swear that Robin's holding back a sadistic smirk of his own. _"… …one got away."

A beat.

Bard swallows: "You for real?"

Robin nods. ".. ….and with one of the stolen artifacts from the museum."

"… … ..huh… …"

Robin sighs, genuinely stressed. "And there's no telling _now_ just what **purpose** that rock must be serving these criminals.. …." He runs a hand over his masked face and mumbles: "How in the world am I going to explain this to the Police Commissioner.. .. …?"

"Uhm.. …El Nino?"

Robin parts a pair of fingers to mask-glare at us just in time. "You do know what this means for you two rookies, right?"

Rookies. Gosh darn it.. … ..

"What?" Bard blinks.

This time, the sadistic smirk Robin has is no longer hidden.

And Bard instantly knows just as soon as I do: "Awwww shucks." _KABONG!_ His guitar weeps. "Laundry duty!"

I collapse on the asphalt.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

The thick-muscled, gritty thug runs wounded through the city streets. His limping feet skate through puddles. He pants as his sweat joins an open glass wound or two. He isn't dying by any means, but he isn't happy either.

"Shit! Shit Shit Shitty.. …sh-shit!" He spits. "Whole shitty night g-gone to shit!.. … .. ..SHIT!"

He rounds a corner, and nearly trips—_No_—He nearly **drops something**. It is something that juggles in his grasp as he gasps and limps forward to catch against his chest. He cradles a ruby quartz rock sample, leaning weakly against a brick building corner. He squints his eyes against the relentless night. The sound of sirens in the background pump his blood faster. He swallows a dry throat, licks drier lips, and prepares to limp forward when—

_VROMMMM!_ A red metal, hovering robot floats down and rotates a mechanical iris at the lonely thug. A series of speakers on the contraption's exoskeleton collectively crackle: _"That's far enough, Mister Jacobs. The police couldn't possibly find you this far from the crash scene. You've done excellently—Though I can't say the same about your.. …unfortunate compatriots. Eheheheheh…."_

The thug frowns. "You piece of shit—_You saw the **whole thing?**_"

"But of course I did! Don't be silly! I'm not going to sit back and be blindsided by the events transpiring this night! Much rather….eheheheh…..I want a clean helping of my share of the bargain!"

"Bargain my _ASS!_" the criminal points with a growl: "Why didn't help us earlier? We could have used someone to bail us out when the Titans got on our dicks!"

"_Dear sir, eloquently put: NOBODY'S 'phallus' is safe as far as those meddling children are concerned. Eheheh….**I** should know that. Do you think I hide behind all this remote circuitry because I am people-shy? Mmm? Well, perhaps I am—eheheh—but a different matter. AHEM… …now hand over the gem."_

Cl-Clak! The man aims a magnum straight into the eye of the floating android. "Screw you with crackerjacks, nutjob!" the grizzly thug hisses. "I ain't givin' you a ounce of what you asked for until I start seeing the greenbacks I broke my ass over tonight!"

There is an electronic equivalent of a sigh emanating from the heartless heart of the hoverbot. _"Really, now. Do we have time for this reckless pish-posh? HA! Eheheheh—I suddenly have a riddle for you, my good man."_

"Pffft. Humor me, ya fish humper."

"_What's black and white and red all over?"_ And a nozzle on the top of the hoverbot whurs open, glows, and—**_PTZZZZZZZZ!_** A red spray envelops the man, and in half a second he is encased in a frozen globule of red crystal.

"… … .. …"

"_Eheheheh…I rest my case."_ The robot twirls about, stretches out a metal arm, produceds a power drill, bores a hole in the crystal prison, stretches a tactile tentacle inside, latches ahold of the red crystal in the frozen thug's hand, and promptly yanks it out. _CHUNK!_ _"Ah.. …there we are, pretty. Off to the lab!"_

And the hoverbot levitates up towards the blinding cosmos….

"_Don't take it the wrong way, Mister Jacobs. I've learned it's better to emulate 'bad boys' than **pay them**. Eheheheheh… …"_

Then….

Silence.

The frozen thug remains still and solid in the column of red ice.

Hours pass.

In the wee morning hours, a wandering, stray dog trots up to the iced thug's side, sniffs, lifts its leg, and pees on him.


	4. Cosplay

Laundry duty.

Frickin' laundry duty.

It's a bigger job than you might think. With nine people living in the tower, that's a lot of clothes. What's worse, the wash room is deep in the bowels of the building way too big for those forementioned nine people.

I grunted with relief as I dropped the huge basket of dirty clothes. I look back at Noir. Or rather, his legs. His whole upper body was hidden by his own pile of clothes.

"All right, we're here." I can't help but yawn. "I could sure think of better ways to spend this time, I'll tell you that."

Noir dropped the clothes and we started picking through them, separating the colors from the whites. I passed the time by muttering to myself.

"Why isn't Virgil with us stuck doing this, too? He was late, wasn't he? At least we were there, kicking butt!" I threw a lazy hook through the air.

Noir shrugged.

"I'm just saying, Robin's picking on us because we're noobies."

Noir's fingers cut through the air.

"I know! We're not really noobies. We busted plenty of bad guy head before coming here. We have plenty of experience." I suddenly stopped sorting the clothes and smirked. "Say, Noir. Who do you think _these_ belong to?"

I held up a pair of dainty pink panties.

I laughed when Noir blushed and tried to look away, but I continued to wave the underwear like a flag.

"C'mon! Who do you think?"

Noir hesitated, but then his fingers made the shape of a bird.

"Raven?"

Noir smirked and shook his head.

I fell over laughing.

"Hahahahahah! Yup! I'd guess Robin before Raven, too!"

Noir snickered breathily. Tentatively, he held up a lacy black bra and looked inquiringly at me.

"Hmm..." I pondered. I was leaning towards Raven but-

Noir signed.

I did a double take.

"Terra? No way! She _wishes!_"

Noir gave me a shocked looked before he chuckled silently.

"Phew...Lord, I apologize." I cut my eyes toward the ceiling. "She's probably just a -I dunno- a late bloomer or something."

Noir didn't comment on that.

We had almost finished sorting the clothes when Noir reached into his basket and brought out a dark blue robe. With a flourish, he wrapped it around himself and looked at me stoicly.

"Hehehe. I don't think blue's your color, man. Maybe after labor day or something."

Noir shrugged and dropped the robe into the colored pile.

I looked down into my own nearly empty basket and saw something that caught my eye: One of Robin's black and yellow capes. I instantly tied it around my neck, spun and pointed in a dramatic pose.

"Titans, go! Do exactly what I say! I'm better than you because I've worked with _BATMAN!_"

I blinked when Noir didn't laugh. It wasn't my _best_ joke ever but-

Noir stood stock still and, barely moving his hands, he signed one word: _Trouble_.

My brow furrowed.

"Trouble? What kind of-"

I turned and saw Robin, his face hard and his arms folded across his chest.

I gulped.

"Um...h-howdy."

Noir waved weakly.

Robin sounded all the world like a stern teacher when he said:

"I can see already I'm going to have to separate you two."

I spoke up immediately.

"You can't do that! Me and Noir here work best together. Like Brooks and Dunn! Or George Jones and Tammy Wynette...only in a platonic way!"

Robin's eye slits narrowed.

"Then prove it." He turned with a swoosh of his cape and walked away. When he was gone, I let out an explosive sigh of relief.

"Phew...I thought he was gonna bite our durn heads off." I was content on going back to our punishment of laundry duty, but Noir's face looked a little worried. He signed at me in a flurry.

"C'mon! What did I say about not letting them get to you? Don't worry, we did fine."

Noir's hands moved again.

"The guy that got away? Don't worry about it, we'll get him." An idea suddenly hit me. "Say...how 'bout we throw these clothes in and go get him ourselves? Robin won't be able to say anything to us then."

Noir started to sign again, but I waved it off.

"It'll be perfect!"

Noir's face told me he didn't agree.

"Loosen up, man!" I put my arm around his shoulders. "We just track him down, whack bam boom, and we bring him in. What could go wrong?"

Noir simpered.


	5. The Roost and the Rock

The Tower is a creepy and lonely place. Or at least, such is the case if the headquarters is left unchecked. Robin is the one to see to that. Mostly, he has instructed himself in his heart to attend to the sanctity of that heroic home. He's made the mistake of abandoning it before—back when he sent the team heads over heels on a worldwide pursuit of the Brotherhood of Evil. He had thought that the team had enough fortitude to engage the enemy completely on the go. To some extent, he was absolutely correct. What hadn't come to Robin's attention was just how little omniscience so few teenaged heroes had and how it would blind them to the circumnavigating tactics of the brilliant Brotherhood. It was a fate that put the entire team and all those subsidiary members joined to it in jeopardy. It surely was a mistake that he had no intention of repeating again, and now of all times he remembers the error all the more clearly. Now.. ….Now that he has a hauntingly clear horizon to work with.

Like the midnight sky and its twilight orbs forming pools of aquamarine tranquility against the grayness of the Jump City skyline. The brilliant suspension bridge stretched out across the Bay, acting as a final gateway before the vast expanse of the Pacific Ocean. More than ever, Robin feels that he is at home. For it is a 'home' earned through constant defense, unceasing vigil, and professional attention. Slade, H.I.V.E., the Brotherhood, even Trigon himself have all failed to dominate this domain which the Titans have dedicated themselves to. And Robin now takes that—not as a trophy—but as an eternal symbol of triumph. But it can only prove worth for as long as it is maintained. And Robin has yet to prove his ultimate patience. And he knows it.

Taking a deep breath, the Boy Wonder adjusts his cape and leans forward against the balcony ledge of his lofty, upstairs living quarters. He gazes out at the waters. The beaches.. …. ….the boardwalks… … ..the Edge of Life that canvassed the urbanscape most prescious to him and his companions. A helicopter roars overhead and angles its way towards a distant hospital rooftop. A trio of tugboats drift their leisurely way into a developing fog. A family of sea lions surface a half kilometer away from the Island and carry on their migratory way.

"When there's trouble.. …," a songbird whispers. "… …will there be too few to call.. ….or too many… …?"

The wind has no answer. Robin turns his back to it, and strolls inside through the sliding glass doors of his loft apartment. He steps onto a ledge, standing over a sudden plunge into a criss-crossing maze of metal and wooden and plastic beams like a perpetual jungle gym leading towards his 'apartment' floor. He strolls by a speaker system and fingers a button on it with a gloved hand.

Bl-Bleep!

"Computer," Robin speaks firmly, yet casually. Calmly. "Access Titan Communication Database. File: Robin, Boy Wonder." _Bleep!_ "Play back all messages dating in order from newest to oldest until prompted to cease." _Bl-Bleep!_ "… ….initiate." And he leaps straight out into the mesh of criss-crossing beams with a grunt.

All the while, the speaker system starts: _"Today. Ten Forty-Five pm. **Snkkkt**—'Yeah, hey—Robin? Static Shock here. I'm doing the rounds in the City like you asked me to. (Yawn) So far, so good. In that the word GOOD stands for a huge freakin' waste of time and effort. I mean—Hell—I could do a whole lot better guarding the recent additions to prison or helping Cyborg tweak up the Titan computer back at the Tower… …'"_

Robin grabs ahold of a beam, twirls on it, launches himself upwards, twirls to fit through a gap in three cross beams, and lands his feet expertly on a leaning pillar reaching across the space between his high walls.

"'N-N-Not that I'm questionin' your judgment or anything, dude! I-I mean… ..you're a great leader in all. Heh…you're the best damn person I've ever WORKED with. But for one night, could I do something a little less monotonous? I can't help but think that you're punishing me for being late, wh-wh-which is all well and fine in my book, I guess, c-cause there's no need for a teammate pulling that sort of inexcusable crap on you and…and…and—"

"Computer," Robin huffs, concentrates, and leaps off the beam at the last second in mid-slide. "Next Message."

Bl-Bleep! "Today. Nine Thirty pm. **SNKKKT—**'Robin, this is Static Shock. I'm starting my rounds for the night like you asked me to. Just reporting in. Heh…More than happy to do my duty, man. Static Out'.**SNKKKT**."

Robin smirks. He's in mid-flip, descending, descending, then whipping a hand out in time to grab a fistful of metal to swing, swing, swing on…._Swoosh-Swoosh-Swoosh!_

"_Today. Nine o'Four pm. **SNKKKT—**'Robin, Mayor Suzette here. I just want to thank you on behalf of the entire City for the job you did in apprehending those criminals from the museum. I know it may seem like 'all in a day's work', but it's a 'day's work' **each and every day** that keeps this place safe on behalf of you kids. Keep it up, Boy Wonder. We know you won't let us down. OH!—And while I'm leaving a message, perhaps you might remember to have one of the Titans give a speech at the Miss Jump City pageant taking place next week—'"_

"Computer, next message!" Robin flips off and barrel-rolls into another series of beams. _Th-Th-Th-Thwoosh!_

"_Yesterday. Six Twenty pm. **SNKKKT—**'Oye, Robin. Soy Pantha. Recuerde? Back when we brutally thrashed the Brotherhood, la total de heroes jovenes to keep in contact with you and consider joining the Titans—like for permanet, verdad? Pues.. …es dificil para explicar. Yo no creo que—Erm, that is to day.. …the Pantha's not ready, entiendes? The whole 'team' thing.. …yo no quiero. But if ever something big happens, please know that the Pantha has your back. Bueno? Bien.. …Hablamos mas adelante'."_

Robin perches on a beam. He takes a breath. He goes on, exercising, flipping, twirling and gracefully gliding from platform to platform on his gradual, gradual, _gradual_ way to the floor.

"_**SNKKT**—'Robin! Hehe—This is Kole! Uhm, I felt like I hadn't touched based in a while and—(Gnaark! No, Gnaark! The Communicator is not dessert! Bad Gnaark!)—ahem…and, well, things are pretty cool up here at the Pole, ya know? Eh heheheheheee—no pun intended, of course. But, as it turns out—we discovered this entire cove of Neanderthal colonies built under the ice sheet! Omigosh! It's—like—sooo incredible, and Gnaark and I really have our hands full getting to communicate with them and all that stuff—(Gnaark! It's not trying to attack you! The little red light only means that the bagels are done! Yeesh, don't sweat yourself, big guy!)—And, well, now just isn't the time for us to become Titans. I'm sorrrrrryyyyyy. Please don't take it the wrong way Robin, okaaaay? The Titans are cool and all, but we've got a heck of a jam down here. But nothing to worrrrry about though! Heheheheeee. Hey, we'll keep in contact! Cuz we look out for each other, don't we? Hehe—Kole signing out—**Snkkkt**."_

"_**Snkkkt—**'Robin, this is Argent. Remember, the pale bird with the tart-like dress and a thing for flying around in a gothic rainbow? Anyways, you wouldn't believe the rubbish I have to deal with here with these local gang lords. I'm afraid I'm just going to have to turn down your offer about joining the team anytime soon. I'm sure you'll be a good chap and understand. It's all hero business, righto? Ta.'"_

"_**Snkkt**—'Robin. Herald. I'm going on a long voyage. How long? Well, let's say the portal I'm going to be opening in the next few days will take me to the Source Wall on an important interstellar mission. It's all extra-dimensional-traveler stuff. I wouldn't expect you to understand. Pfft---What am I saying? You're the Batman's apprentice. Of course you'd understand'**SNNNNKT**."_

"**Snkkkt—'**HotSpot here. Same old, Same old. Nnnngh…. …..Just **stop** inviting me, okay? I'm burning up everytime I get another one of your damned invitations. **Literally**."

"_**Snkkkt—**'This is Bushido. I must politely decline your offer. I wish you good fortune."_

"_**Snkkkt**—'Red Star reporting. I can't talk for long. Too many pressing issues from the Pacific to Western Siberia. If anyone needs help, dear Titan, it just may be me. I'm sorry…."_

TH-THAP! Robin lands finally on the floor. Both feet together. Graceful.. …. ..but deflated.

He sighs.. …and gazes blankly into the shadowy recesses of his room. Sweating… …but still as a statue. "… … …. …."

"Eight days ago. Four Twenty pm—"

"Computer STOP."

Bl-Blip!

"… .. … … …mmmmf," Robin runs a hand over his masked face. He marches—_more like limps_—across the room and slumps down in a rolling chair before his screen-saver'd computer console. "…. … … ….why are we running out so suddenly.. … …?"

Silence.

Dust scatters in the air like comets.

The room is sparsely furnished.. …. …almost stripped to nothing—save for a bookcase and a cluster of exercise equipment in the corner. The rest is trapeze randomosity overhead and a basic cot in the far corner.

"… … ….am I the only one trying to get us all prepared here?" Robin rests his chin on a curled set of gloved fingers and stares out a glittering window into the night's horizon. "… .. …and for _what_, exactly?"

Silence… …well, _almost silence._

Bleep. Bleep. Bleep.

Robin sighs. He rubs his brow above his mask and mutters: "Computer, I **said** 'stop the messages."

Bleep. Bleep. Bleep.

".. .. …Computer?.?.?"

Bleep. Bleep. Bleep.

Robin looks up, eyebrow raised. He taps a key on his computer and glances at the brightening monitor.

"INCOMING CALL – STEEL CITY – TITANS EAST"

Robin all but jumps. He slides up to the computer, whips out a headpiece, and speaks into the mic just as he opens a video window up on the monitor. "Greetings, Titans East. Robin of Titans West here. What's to report?"

**_SNKKKT—_**An amused young woman appears on the feed. _"Well, ain't we ever the regimental type?"_

Robin takes a deep breath through his nostrils and keeps his cool. "Bumblebee, you know how seriously I take messages between the Two Towers—"

"_**Yes**, Robin," she rolls her eyes. "I **know**… …" _She smiles again. _ "I was a bit restless, and I thought late's better than never to share a little bit about our progress with our new rookies."_

"Or in this case… …," Robin glances at an electronic calendar momentarily. "'Early'! I wasn't expecting that report until the middle of next week."

"Hmmm—You're not the only workaholic leader of a bunch of hormonal young superheroes, Boy Wonder."

Robin manages a smile himself. He leans forward and folds his gloved hands together. "So I gather. And don't let me keep you from doing your job."

"You sure I haven't woken you up or anything--?"

"It's been a _long day_, Bumblebee," Robin gestures. "But the sort of long day that keeps growing itself longer and makes sleep a pointless activity, if you catch my drift."

"Erm… …No I don't. But hey! It's all cool."

"R-Right."

"_Ahem.. …Anyways, Kid Flash and Jinx…,"_ Bumblebee's digital image nods in a dazed fashion. _".. … …y-yeah.. …."_

Robin nods too. A beat. He raises an eyebrow. "They're a nightmare to handle, aren't they?"

"Only when they're not trying to make love—"

"**What**?"

"_Erm—I-I m-mean…They're fine and all, but it takes a little getting used to. Kid Flash is—ahh jeez," _she groans and pulls a little at her bulbous hair buns. _".. … …it's not that he doesn't give a flip about me giving commands or being leader and all, but he's just so downright—well—he's the fastest boy on earth for pretty obvious reasons. And I think he's been so used to running on his own that he—"_

"He doesn't take being given orders very well?"

"… .. ….," Bumblebee blinks. _"… …he also has a nasty habit of **interrupting someone when she's in the middle of a speech."**_

Robin, the Boy Wonder, winces. "S-Sorry.. …"

"_Hey—Heheh—After these last few weeks, I'm sure as heck used to it,"_ she leans back in her chair on the monitor. _"He means no disrespect. But it comes across as pretty short-sighted. Cuz he'll go out on a limb and do stuff without telling us about it or without listening to reason or without listening to anyone or anything at all. The kid's got the whole 'solo' thing together, Robin. I swear—if it wasn't for Jinx—he wouldn't even give a thought whatsoever to anything involving teamwork. But he's learning, Robin. I can see it. Gradually. Just…VERY….GRADUALLY. It's hard to have patience with a person who doesn't seem to GET the definition of the word."_

"And about Jinx.. …," Robin leaned back and forth. "How has her progress been?"

"'Progress'? Pfft—Heheh, Robin, you make it sound like we're assimilating her."

"Got a better analogy? I'm more than willing to hear it."

"Very well. The ASSIMILATION OF JINX is going as planned, I guess. She gets along very well with everyone. Mas and Menos seem to have taken a liking to her—hehe—so I guess they won't be hitting on Starfire next time we all do a mission together. Hehehe—Right?"

"… … …"

"Anyways, she gets a bit aggressive at times. But she's definitely learning to cool her jets. She follows orders. She displays an athleticism and dexterity in the field the likes of which ASTOUNDS me. Heck, if she only had a crystal clean track record and experience, I'd be tempted like crazy to make her my second-in-command! How's that for being estrogenical?"

"You _have….._been keeping an eye out on her, right?"

"Heh. I left that up to Speedy. Believe you me—he's doing a good job at it. Almost TOO GOOD of a job."

Robin smirks slightly. "You don't need to get into detail."

"No suspicious activity. I'd rather just not bother with it. You really think it's necessary that we keep such a watch on her, Robin?"

"Well.. ….B-Bumblebee….," Robin scratches the back of his neck.

Bumblebee squints. _"Well, what?"_

"Quite frankly, Jinx was a _terrorist_."

"Egads! How I hate that 'T' word!"

"Really now.. …."

"It's just so overused!"

"It's an effective description.

"What's Jinx done to make her a TERRORIST?"

"Besides learning all the tools of a trade at a school oriented around Worldwide Destruction and multiple attempts at murdering the lives of me and all my teammates?"

"….. …. …oh, right."

"I'm just chiefly concerned about her."

"I understand, Robin. B-But seriously.. …so far the only wicked colors she's shown is when Kid Flash is around to distract her from the more important things at hand. In a lot of ways, they're each others foils. Heh.. ..we'd probably be better off if we split them among the East and West Towers."

"But then I doubt they'd bother working with us at all."

"Heh, good point."

Robin leans back in the chair and folds his arm. "Though.. … ..in all honesty.. …I _do_ understand the whole 'dangerous pair' issue."

"Oh? You don't say?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Just how are those two no-names doing in your ranks? They're shaping up half as well as Static Shock is?"

"Static Shock is Static Shock," Robin shrugs. "Nobody really needs to answer for him. He's dependable—howbeit a bit clumsy from time to time."

"Tell me about it."

"Bard and Noir on the other hand—They're good at heart. But they… ..well…," Robin bites the edge of his forefinger in thought….

"But what?"

"I don't know what to say. They aren't easy _at all_ to give commands to. And it's not that they're necessarily insubordinate. Bard's definitely got that southern stubbornness to deal with from time to time. And Noir—"

"The mute one, right?"

"Yes, the swordsman," Robin nods. "It's not impossible for me to read him. Batman's taught me more than one way to understand a person without the words to give. But it's still hard to read him from time to time. And—ultimately—the two are complete mysteries to us. It's been a month and we still haven't done it."

"Done what?"

Robin opens his mouth, pauses, and lingers a bit before nodding and coughing forth: "Haven't _revealed_ anything. We know next to nothing about them. Their origins. Their backgrounds. Not all of us even know their full names."

"All Titans are entitled to secrecy. Nobody knows that truer than you."

Robin can't hide his own smirk. "Right."

"But this is bothering you for some special reason, hmmm?"

"It's a matter of trust, Bumblebee. But not meaning that I can't trust these two.. …or Static Shock.. .. ..or even Kid Flash or Jinx—"

"It goes deeper than that?"

Robin sighs. He leans on a arm rest and slowly gestures as he speaks: "When we went against the Brotherhood.. …. …I won everybody's trust. I got us all on an even page to fight the Brain's forces. I was more than certain that we had the enemy cornered through our global vigilance. But—as it turned out—the trust I had built with everyone was to their own folly. I led us all into a trap, Bumblebee. I can't ever forget that. Because I'm more than certain that none of _them_ forget it."

"You did what you did with the best of intentions, Robin."

"The evilest people who have ever lived have done things with the 'best of intentions'," Robin murmurs.

Bumblebee on the monitor says nothing.

The Boy Wonder takes a breath and says: "It's not just my imagination, Bumblee. I **know** that the allies we once had are few and far between now. We hurt them, and even though the battle with the Brotherhood was ultimately victorious, there is nothing to erase the harm that—yes—**_I_** did."

"I'm guessing you don't want to repeat history with Static, Bard, and Noir?"

"I… …," Robin pauses. He glances aside. A beat. He smirks, raises a finger, and says: "I don't want to ruin this chance that we have. All of us. Not just the Titans, but Bard and Static and Noir. Cuz if somebody screws something up and any one of them is out again on the street—_alone_—then they'll be gobbled up by the dark powers of this criminal underworld that now has us all targeted and hunted since the Brotherhood's been eliminated. And—quite frankly—it's been ages since I trained newcomers under our roof. I'm taking this as slow as possible because I don't want these people out the door _just yet_. But—believe me, Bumblebee.. ….it's trying my patience."

"Heh heh… …I never given that much thought, Robin."

"Hmm?"

"Who was the last one you trained, Beast Boy?"

"Erm, when the Titans joined, we all formed the team simultaneously—"

"Oh! But I could have sworn Beast Boy was the last newcomer to join before Terra—"

"No, it just _seems_ that way."

"Ahhhh…hehehehe."

"Heh….But I think I know where you're getting at. I've been so used to working with and _leading_ people on the same page as I. Whereas you—"

"_I'm still getting used to Aqualad complaining all the time about the lack of salt content in the indoor water canals,"_ Bumblebee shudders. _"Robin, I hope Titans East finally gets on the 'same page' as well."_

"Heh heh, you will, Bumblebee, you will," Robin smirks softly and manages his first relaxed breath of the evening. ".. …and thanks, by the way."

"For what?"

"… … …reminding me that there's more hope to be had than what we all stress over.. …."

"Word up."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Bard suggested we go out on a proverbial 'cattle-rustling' to try and fetch us the one escapee from the van full of museum robbing suspects. And I have to agree with him that it's the right initiative to make. But—the way he wants to go about it sounds downright clandestine. And it makes me a bit nervous—what, with us being new and all. It'd be horrible to make a bad impression. Especially after recent events.. .. …

_But he's convinced me. He **always** convinces me. I can't hold it against him, either. I may be good with a sword—but that's about as far as my fighting spirit goes. I just want things to go smoothly in this new gig with the Almighty Titans of all people, and if tracking down just one crook on a secret night mission makes that a surety—then so be it. But I insisted that we at least finished the laundry first so as not to arouse suspicion or—worse off—tick any of the Titans off. It took time, but I finally convinced **him** about something. And he respectfully agreed. But no sooner after we'd be done, it was out on the town we'd go._

_What can I say? Excitement is always a good thing. And besides, I trust Bard. Why shouldn't I? He was, after all, the one to have… ….to have '**found'** me…._

When I needed a second chance at existence more than ever before.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

So here I am walking down a slate-gray hallway in the Tower with a basket of laundry balanced estrogenically against my hip. A basket….full of pink things.

Starfire's things.

I clear my throat, fight a shade of rosiness to my cheeks, and try politely not to 'look'.

Just two doors down. One door down. There—

I silently place the basket down before her bedroom. I try not to make a noise. I don't know exactly how the hearing is for Tamaranian ears—alien and all that. But I don't want to risk gathering any attention on the eve of Bard's and my.. …. ..'trek'.

_But Starfire is so sweet. At least, she appears to be. It's almost hard to believe anyone could be so.. …so **cheery**. But, alas—What you see is what you get with her. Which, thankfully, is a good thing where she's concerned. But.. … …who am I to judge? Besides, Robin would kill me if I got too nosy about what makes the sweet alien girl tick. Nobody could possibly be blind to THAT fact. Heh…._

I tip-toe away from the bedroom and get into a brisk pace as soon as I'm in the clear. I let out a breath and run a hand through my neck-length strands. A nervous habit that I've picked up more lately than ever before. _There are actually people around me to have 'looking' at my hair. It's kinda unsettling.. …God, what if there turns out to be a magazine with us all in it or something? I never even thought of that—_

I hear voices, and I realize that I am nearing Terra's room. Not only that, but I am hearing the voices of two people. Terra herself, and Beast Boy.

I helplessly smile.

Those two. They are inseparable. I can only imagine to what extremes fate has tossed and turned them to become so unified. True love, I suppose. I've witnessed it a few times in my life. A stress on the 'witnessed' and not so much the 'experienced'. But who's to complain? I enjoy the very aura of these two Titans.

"… …just can't sleep, Beast Boy. But it's no big deal. Heh… ..Thank God for the Tower and it's digital cable."

"You sure you don't want me to serenade you or somethin'?"

"HA… …that'd be rich."

"What? I happen to be a good minstrel! Give me a Jew Harp—You got a Jew Harp?"

"… .. .. …"

"Uhh…what's with that look?"

"It's called a _JAW Harp_, Beast Boy."

"Since when?"

"Since mankind turned civilized. It was called the NINETIES."

"Pffft…you silly blondes and your political correctness."

"I heard that! Mmmf—Take that, punk!'

"HA! I take your shove and substitute a kick to the shins!"

"You.. ….wouldn't… …dare… … …"

"…. .. … …eh, you're right. Weak, man. I can't so much as pull a Ralph Kramden on you."

"Heehehehehe…"

As I stroll up to Terra's bedroom door, I spot not one—but _two_ baskets of laundry.

I could have sworn Bard said he left their loads at their separate bedrooms. So I guess that means… .. …. ..

"… .. … .."

I blush a bit, but nevertheless smile as I cast the cracked door a devilish look.

If Robin is so lenient about THIS.. … ..then surely Bard and I have absolutely nothing to worry about. Speaking of which, I better get going before Raven sees our pawprints on her blue robe and screams 'bloody murder'.

I make to blur my way towards the nearest stairwell leading to the rendezvous point when I hear—

"Whoah! Terra! What's wrong?"

"I… ..I….it's n-nothing, Beast Boy—"

"You look pale.. ….and y-you got the shakes! You feeling okay?"

"It's.. …It's….It's…."

"… .. …?" I crane my neck. On silent, smoking feet I tip-toe my way back to the door. I take a deep breath, concentrate, and dissolve my essence into a near-transparent cloud of smoke. It is a trick I learned a long, long time ago. Even before I met Bard. Even before I lost my ability to…

Well…

_Another story for another time, I guess._

Just what is Terra's problem?

I glance in through the crack in the door. I see the two young companions. Both decent. Beast Boy in a t-shirt and shorts. Terra in a long nightgown. They stand before the flickering t.v. set as the blonde hugs herself as if afflicted with a sudden chill. She does not look at all pleasant. Not at all. Her face turns white as a ghost and she starts to hyperventilate.

"It's happening again—It's _happening again!"_

"Terra, calm down—"

"Those damn criminals! I-I didn't think tossing the van like I did would overexert my powers, but---blast it! It's happening, Beast Boy! Again…AGAIN! I-I just know it—"

"Terra, no it is **not**! You gotta get a hold of yourself—"

"Omigod Omigod Omigod—" She all but collapses.

I gasp and nearly dash in—

"TERRA!" Beast Boy practically grabs her. Shaking her by the shoulders. "You HAVE control! Just concentrate! Don't panic—"

"I-I can't… ….I can't…," Terra gasps. And before my eyes, the edges of her cranium and upper arms start to crack and harden into solid.. …brown.. … …stone. "Oh G-God—"

"Shhh…Terra….Just relax, Terra…," Beast Boy holds her close, stroking a hand through whatever strands of her hair are left soft. "Dudette.. ….just be cool. Really cool. You're hangin' with us now, right? We won't let anything bad happen to you. We just need you to concentrate and relax your powers, okay, Terra? You got control. You got control. Just.. …be cool… …be cool… …I'm here for you---Shhhh—I ain't going nowhere…."

Terra breathes… …pants….and bites her lip. She scrunches her forehead, and like a mudslide in reverse the stone 'skin' slides back and disappears. She lets out a loud gasp and dangles in Beast Boy's embrace, all but sobbing. "I-I don't know what came over me. Those panic attacks… ..th-they just come and go and…and…."

"Shhh… ..Just a little scare, Terra. I really can't blame you. I just need you to relax and everything will be okay. We've been through this before, okay? Just relax…."

But she can't help it. Her eyes squint. Tears well up. And she hides her face into his shoulder. "Oh god… ..it was so cold and quiet for all those months, Beast Boy. I don't want to go back.. …I don't _ever_ want to go back t-to that.. …so helpless.. …so cold.. …so long…. …"

"Shhh….And you won't….cuz you've got control now, Terra. And you're with us. So everything's okay now, right? Just rest.. ….I'm not gonna let you go back to that…."

"B-Beast Boy…," she hiccups and just rests there in his arms.

The two sway together. Gently.

A half-minute pauses. And suddenly, Beast Boy's left pointed ear pricks up. He glances over his shoulder with animalistic vigilance.

But I am long gone. I am halfway down a stairwell. Shaking a little. Trying to compose myself and---for the sake of _their privacy_—shake out any recollection of what I just saw.

Terra. She was once bad, wasn't she?

.. … …what on Earth happened to her to bring her here? How did she become a Titan again?

I lean against a railing of the claustrophobic stairwell interior and sigh into the echoes of myself.

Really, though.. ….how is it any of my concern?

I stroke back stubborn bangs and stare off into space.

.. …. …will I ever afford to have any of these wonderful people be my concern?

A chirping sound. I jump—then realize that it's my communicator. I flip it open with a Star Trek sound. And—helplessly—I wait. Wait for the voice on the other end.

Thankfully, it's somebody who knows how to speak first when I'm concerned: _"Snkkkt-H-Hey Noir! Eh heh heh….I'm at the rendezvous point already and…uhm….well…."_

I wince. _Crud! I forgot all about that._

"And…eheheh…well….CYBORG is here….and…erm….."

I bite my lip, chilled to the bone. _Busted_. I attempt to give him a morse code response when—

"You know what—Rather than just confuse your noggin' and such, why don't you mosey on down here?"

"…. .. ….."

"_It's okay man—heheh—believe it or not, I think Cyborg is here to **join** us. Not ground us."_

"…. … …." I raise an eyebrow and smirk into the shadows.

Well then…. …

_Yeeha._


	6. Fetch

I was leaning against a building under the streetlight, picking quietly at my guitar as I waited. The moon was high in the sky and my Harley and the T-Car were parked on the curb. Cyborg leaned against the one of a kind vehicle.

I suddenly realized that, even though Noir and I had been with the Titans for a couple of weeks now, I still didn't really know any of them. Much less this hulking figure that was half-man half-robot.

"So...that your car?"

Cyborg smiled immediately.

"Yup! That's my baby. I made her myself."

My eyes widened.

"Really now?" I stepped away from the wall to get a better look at it. "She's beautiful."

Cyborg positively beamed then.

"Thanks! Made from my own tech!" He thumped his metal chest.

I looked sidelong and my eyes took in the metal and blue circuitry that made up most of his body. I wanted to ask how and why, but I bit my tongue. Heaven knows I wouldn't want him asking about my past.

"Your bike's nice, too."

I blinked and looked over at my Harley.

"Yeah, that steel horse and me have been through some times."

"You and Noir have been through some stuff, too, right?"

I nodded.

"We've taken a fair amount of people to the woodshed."

"Heh, I bet."

I turned and looked down the street, waiting to see the black blur I knew would be Noir. In truth, I was a little uncomfortable. Cyborg was a nice guy, but I didn't really know him.

Of course, I figured, that would change sooner or later.

"You like football?" I asked suddenly.

"You know it." Cyborg pointed at me like the Fonze. "Second best sport next to basketball."

I smiled.

"I dunno about all that but..." I shrugged. "I tried to get Noir to watch football, but he's not the type."

"Give him another year. He won't be doing anything but chasing the girls."

That thought made me grin, but I wasn't so sure about it. Noir had a little bit of a shy streak in him.

"Speak of the devil." I pointed.

Noir blurred off a rooftop, down a streetlight pole and skidded to a stop next to us.

"Flashy." Cyborg complimented him.

Noir was a little embarrassed, but he shrugged it off.

"All right." I clapped my hands together, adjusting my guitar to where it would be on my back. "This is where the criminals' van crashed."

"Right." Cyborg nodded and typed into his forearm.

That freaked me out just a little.

"There are some trace residues in the air of the rocks they thieves ran off with. So-"

"We just do a Toucan Sam and follow our noses." I joked. "Right, Noir?" I elbowed him softly in the side.

My friend had been looking down at his feet. He looked up at me slowly and forced a smile to cover it up.

I frowned-

"What's up, guys?" Static Shock flew in on his metal disc. He sat on the edge of it with dangling legs as it floated a few feet off the ground. "Ya'll throw a party and forget to invite me?"

"Virgil." I said. "Good timing. We were just about to-"

"Hey, man! How many times do I gotta tell ya? SECRET IDENTITY!"

I rolled my eyes.

"What are you doing out here, anyway?"

"Patrol." Static shrugged. "I think it's Robin's way of punishing me for being late."

"At least you didn't get stuck with laundry duty."

"Don't look at me." Cyborg said to us. "I don't wear clothes."

I blinked at him.

"You're saying...you're naked right now?"

"Yup!" He answered way to cheerfully.

I shook myself out of it.

"Ahem, anyway." I turned back to Virgil. "We were about to hunt down that last criminal that got away. Wanna help?"

"Why not?" He stood up on his disc, stretched and yawned. "I've been bored out of my mind out here."

"There's a couple of different trails." Cyborg said, looking at the screen in his arm. "But the strongest one goes that way."

He started walking and we all fell in behind him. Static floated along with us.

"What are those rocks, anyway?" Static wanted to know. "It seems like a lot of trouble for someone to go through to just contribute to their rock collection."

"All I know is that it was a new exhibit. Came in last month." Cyborg said over his shoulder.

"Can't your internet arm tell you?"

Cyborg shook his head as we round a corner and went down a dark alley.

"All I know is that their signature is really powerful."

"Powerful?" Static asked.

"When subjected to a long-range low frequency sonic pulse the rocks give out a feedback loop on the seismic scale that approximates their location based on hyperwaves so-"

Cyborg and Static talked about it more, using scientific terms I'd never heard, so I just tuned them out.

I didn't like the big city. I'd grown up in a city not unlike this one, though it was smaller. But I had spent most of my time in the mountains surrounding it. I loved the fresh air and nature and the incredible views.

I watched a fat gray rat skitter across the alley to behind a dumpster.

I was definitely in a new world now.

I looked over at Noir, who walked with his head down.

"Something wrong?" I said quietly to him while Static and Cyborg still nerded it up.

Noir shook his head faster than I liked, but I didn't press. We were good friends, but one of the reasons why was because we didn't interfere with each other. We were close, but we kept a distance on personal things. Both of us liked that distance.

"What the heck is that?"

Static's voice made me look up. Ahead of us was a man who stood as still as a statue. As we got closer, I realized why.

He _was_ a statue.

He was covered from head to toe in some kind of...red crystal.

Static's eyes widened behind his purple mask.

"Is he-"

Cyborg nodded as he read his scanner.

"Yeah, he's alive. We need to get him out of there soon, though."

"I got a knife." I offered.

Cyborg looked at me funny.

"Ah...I think we have some better tools for the job at the Tower."

TTTTTTTT

The Titans were a little surly when we got them out of bed...except Starfire, of course. But from what I'd seen, she was always in a good mood. I could blame the rest of them though. I hadn't looked at a clock lately, but I figured it was after midnight.

We stood around the petrified criminal. Cyborg worked on him with a dentist-like saw tool that made me cringe.

The double doors swooshed open behind us and Robin walked in, his face all business.

"Robin," I said and gestured at Noir and myself. "We got him. Good job, right?"

The Boy Wonder walked past us and started talking to Cyborg like we weren't even there.

"..."

A little peeved, I looked at Noir to see if he shared my sense of injustice. Instead, he was looking off to the side. I followed his gaze and saw Terra and Beast Boy, inseparable as far as I knew, standing side by side. Terra was actually trembling as she hugged herself and Beast Boy was whispering something in her ear.

It was obvious Noir knew something, but it wasn't my place to ask. I simply shrugged.

_Blondes..._


	7. Sleep for the Weary

"In these quadratic locations we shall insert thermal needles that will excite the crystalline particles of the translucent red material and thoroughly dissolve the imprisonment surrounding the human subject."

"But Cyborg, wouldn't you have to counteract for the variant oxygen displacement factor?"

"I already thought of that, but the low energy conditions of the crystalline sarcophagus has rendered the respiratory functions of the subject inert—Hence creating a sort of suspended animation that requires very little oxygen factor for the man to depend upon."

"Hey! What say you input an oxygen resuscitator into the upper orifices of the subject so as to assure proper functions during the process of reanimation and thus compensate for any temporal anomalies in the crystalline deconstruction?"

"GOOD….IDEA, Static! Hellz yeah! It's great having your brain on the team these days!"

"Dude, you're all right too. Heh heh heh…."

Beast Boy looks towards the other Titans. He portrays a goofy face and does a 'talk talk talk' charade with one hand. Starfire giggles. So does Terra to some extent….a lovely thing.

But I hardly notice. I am yawning.

Bard isn't yawning, though I can easily tell he wants to be. Well, I _predict_ it. Everything else just seems to fall into place.

"Robin, if you can help Static and I operate the controls. You're good at turning knobs after all, boss."

"… …r-right."

"Can I assist?" Starfire floats over.

"Sure thing, Starfire," Static points towards a large basin within which the crystal'd thug is being suspended in a bubbling liquid. "Keep an eye on him and warn us if there's any strange changes in the subject's condition that our sensors can't pick up."

"Certainly. I can do that!" She flies over and cutely swats like a blood hound before the vessel.

I smile. Tyredly. Black eyes blinking. _It has been a long day. I'd love to see them get some answers out of this zapped crook. But…. …'eesus…._

"Uhm….I know that we're doing a lot to help out Mister Human Jelly Bean here," Beast Boy points while resting one arm around Terra's shoulder. "But in the meantime, does anyone have a smidgeon of an idea who the fluffing heck did this to him?"

"I vote for Willy Wonka," Cyborg mutters in mid console-tweaking. "Anyone disagree?"

"Hardy har har," Beast Boy sneers. "Leave the jokes to me, dude. It's sexier that way."

"Shucks, I'm lovin' this elf by the second," Bard chuckles.

"Heh, suit yourself, Garth Brooks."

"Yeeha! Thanks for the compliment."

"... ….," Beast Boy blinks. "Really?"

"Yeah, I like Garth Brooks," Terra nervously smiles.

"Beast Boy, I'm fixin' to steal your girlfriend."

"Do it and a green horse will be riding you up three flights of stairs, Lone Ranger."

"Heh, I'd pay to see that—"

"Guys—PLEASE," Robin barks.

I jump at the voice. I can't help it. With Robin.. …it's all instinctual.

"We need to concentrate on the situation at hand," Robin nods with his hands on the contraption's controls. "It may seem like an easy procedure—and I have every bit of confidence in Cyborg's tech and Static's knowledge—but a man's life is still _potentially at stake."_

"Thank you Mister Anus," Beast Boy fakes a yawn. Terra giggles.

"His life is at stake?" Bard leans his head to the side. "Who was tryin' to plug who full of bulletholes just hours ago, man?"

"Point taken, Bard. But unlike these meatheads, we actually respect ALL life."

"Heh, damn straight, mister boss man."

"So everyone who can lend a hand to this operation, please stick around and do so."

Robin's last words are magically effective for Beast Boy and Terra, or so it would seem. They wave off the laboratory and collectively yawn: "Yeah, we're out. Good night, folks."

"Take it easy, B.B. Terra," Cyborg mutters in mid calculation.

"Wake us up if—like—the world is exploding n'stuff," Terra murmurs as they walk off.

I suddenly appreciate their sentiment tenfold. Another yawn, a stretching of my upper body. And I am nearly dead.

Naturally, 'big brother' Bard is the first one to notice it. And he's even the first-er person to open his mouth about it: "Noir, why don't you skedaddle as well? You look about to collapse. And not in the good way, more like cowpoke shot on top of a saloon's rooftop way."

I smile.

Friggin' cowboy. High-ho silver yourself…

But he has a point. So I wave off to Cyborg, Robin, Static—the entire Nerd Trinity.

"Happy slorvax!" Starfire waves.

I turn and stumble out with Myrkblade in tow.

_Gosh, what an angel._ **WHAP!** _DAH! Damn doorframe! Yeesh…_

And I'm gone. Up a stairwell.

Bard turns and looks towards the group. "So, are we cooking this human hot pocket or what?"

"You sure you don't want to sleep through this, dawg?" Cyborg smirks as he switches on the thermal needles and aims them into the crystalline girth. "This is only exciting to those who can recite Season Three of Star Trek the Next Generation."

"Backwards!" Robin smirks.

"In Klingon!" Static adds.

"Ohhhhh….the Klingons," Starfire licks her lip while on 'watch'. "Such a delicious appetizer for the celebration of the Memblark Festival."

Nobody says anything. Not for half a minute. Until—

"Say what?" Cyborg blinks.

"We're ready, Cyborg."

"… .. …."

"Yo! Robo-Token! Anytime, bro!"

"Oh. R-Right, Static. Lemme just switch on the—Say, what the Hell did you just call me?"

"COMMENCE!" Robin pulls the switch himself.

"Dah! Jeez! Allrighty then…."

**WHURRRRRRRR!**

Bard does a southern-swagger step to a tool bench and sits casually on the edge with arms folded across his poncho. "This should be worth the ticket price…."

Everyone watches as the four needles pivot, descend, and dig their way into the red solidity of the crystal. The water inside the basin bubbles faster and faster. Starfire's eyes widen as she gazes up close. "Ooooooh…..prettttty…."

Static fights back a sharp laugh. Robin's cheeks are a faint red for some reason. Cyborg merely concentrates on the process. Studying the controls. Adjusting…. …Adjusting….

The needles dig in…and then there's a slight glow.

Bard lowers his shades and peers a pair of naked eyes. Curiously eyeing the light. His lips purse…

"All part of the show, folks," Cyborg mutters.

"You've got it, Cyborg," Robin quietly adds.

"Easy.. …Easy….," Static bends and cranes his neck to look. "… .. …" He glances down. "Star, how's he looking?"

"Healthy and tranquil!"

"Sounds good to me—"

"Shhh—This is the moment of truth," Cyborg stops the needles halfway through the diameter of the crystal and presses a large round switch.

Bard blinks.

And a bright red pulse of light burns through the crystal, melting, strobing, freeing, and—

**FLASSSSH!**

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

**FLASSSSH!**

I don't realize that I have collapsed until the sensation of falling down half a flight of stairs rocks me to a startling—_THWOMP!_ I am sprawled across a platform slab in the stairwell. Panting. Tingling all over.

What on Earth---?.!.?

My vision. _Wait—God, am I blind?_

_No, not blind._

_I see…_

I see… ….

My eyes are fluctuating. I blink a few times, and a few half-seconds before my normal vision returns, I can swear I almost see _red tracers dancing and spiraling on the edges of everything. Like crimson clouds. Flickering.. …shimmering…._

Gone.

Gone.

"… … …"

I take a breath. I glance at myself. I look like a fallen grandmother on some t.v. commercial. (Or maybe Fidel Castro.) I don't know whether to giggle or sob at the thought. Instead, I stand up, brush myself off, adjust Myrkblade's scabbard over my back, and stroll on down the steps with a regained—howbeit slightly nervous breath.

From now on, I reserve the random Cosmo Kramers for when I'm on LEVEL ground…

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I have a room in the Tower. It is a small room. It is also a dark room. That's because it is in the basement. A very large.. …overly spacious basement. A certifiably frightening basement, too. But it's only frightening if you can't see in the dark.

_And I? I can see in the dark. These black eyes know no better home. It's still kind of a new thing for the Titans, but they seem to be gradually getting used to it. There are still those little awkward moments when I'm in the kitchen upstairs when Cyborg is scrounging around for a midnight snack and fate ordains that when I walk up it's like a monster coming out of a dark closet and the resulting startle sends steak patties, bread slices, and sonic disruption beams sailing every which way—but no harm done. Not yet, at least._

_This place is much safer. If not a bit darker or danker. Sure, I could have chosen a far cheerier place—if only one of the furnished bedrooms or guest rooms upstairs didn't have a friggin' window in it. But, who's to complain? If I'm to be a permanent Titan here, I'll have plenty of time to redecorate things._

_If I'm a permanent Titan… … …y-yeah… …_

_I'm still working on that._

Bard too for that matter.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

_Creaaaak—**SWISSSH-CHTUNG!**_

I wince ever so slightly as my rusted door finally wins the fight with friction and opens all the way. I take a breath and step over the water seal and into my humble abode.

Home sweet home.

**_SWISSSH!_ **The door's a lot quieter when closing. I'm getting used to those little quirks all throughout the Tower. It makes me feel comfortable… …_like I have a future here._

What's more important to a fighter than a future?

I stroll across the pitch-black environment with my eyes as the guide. I don't have infrared vision, so I need at least a _little_ light to get my bearings straight. So—with a left hand outstretched I spatially-sense the contours of the room and wander, wander, wander forward to where I know would be—

Ah!

My hand rests against a lamp built into the wall. An electric bulb slid into a sheathe of translucent plastic.

But why isn't it on--? Oh right.

I tap it with a finger.

Zzzt-Zzzt—

I punch it. _WHAP!_

_Zzzt-T-T-Tingggg_…..the light flickers on like a bad motor.

There we go.

I turn around and embrace the gray spectacle of the room. The moldiness in the corners of the walls. _Why the moldiness?_

Drip. Drip. Drip—water from various, questionable sources throughout the Tower collectively find their way to my basement abode and filter down through the ceiling tiles. It is a… … …less than desirable trait of my sleeping quarters. But I've learned to make good of that which I have been blessed with. For instance, just a good few well-placed buckets and—

Aw snap!

I grimace and cartoon-scramble over towards where a paint tray is failing to stop a puddle from forming on the floor. I nervously slide it underneath the persistent dripping from the center of the ceiling and let out a relieved breath. I walk backwards—nearly tripping over a crack in the floor and am further startled as two cockroaches and a centipede go scurrying away from the epileptic light.

I pant.. …pant….and take a meditative breath with my limbs flexing.

… … ….right….

Shower time!

I turn about and head towards the slightly _less_ decrepit bathroom compartment built into the side of my quarters.

_God, I love a good shower at the end of the day. I'm not sure why. Maybe because for a good three years of my life, I had to make do with living **without** showers. There's nothing more horrifying—in my opinion—than discovering the lengths and breadths of your own wretched scent._

Humans.. …Humans.. …Humans… …

As I head my way towards the shower, I strip of my shoes. My socks. I zip the back of my black jumpshirt down halfway. But just as I reach for Myrkblade's scabbard to slide off… .. …I freeze.

"… … .. … …"

My black eyes flicker a bit. I feel a cloud of pure Balance shifting towards my right side.. …_and behind me. A shape. A form. A body._

**An intruder--!**

_**CHIII-IIIING!**_

I spin. Myrkblade spins. A fountaining froth of black, and I even snarl for good measure at my sudden opponent…..

… ….only to blink in perplexed amazement.

".. ….," Raven stares at me. At the flickering tip of my murking sword. Then at me again. ".. … …Cute."

"… … …," I blink. A half second, I then gasp, blush, and zip my shirt up in the back again. My lips move with a flurry of confused, disoriented, and altogether _mute_ words that she couldn't possibly hear.

Not that it matters. "I'm sorry to have snuck up on you like that, Noir. From the stories Cyborg has told me, it sounds like we both suffer from the same habit."

I bit my lip at that and nervously smiled.

Her violet eyes narrow a bit from under her robe's hood. "Something about your upper back that you don't want to share with the world?"

My fingers are still on the zipper. I roll my black optics and contemplate sticking a tongue out at this young lady.

Creepy fluff… .. …Where'd she come from all of the sudden? Come to think of it, I don't even remember her being in Cyborg's laboratory during the resuscitation process.. … …

Wait, what the Hell's she doing down here anyways? My frickin' door's closed!

"It was a last second decision, but I wanted to catch you before you retired for the evening," she murmurs. "I couldn't help but since a little bit of distress from you earlier…."

_Ever that droning, lifeless voice of hers. I have a hard time understanding Raven. She's deader than a doornail on two feet, and yet the rest of the team has such a huge admiration for her. It's remarkable—and depressing all the same. Remarkable because it shows that she must have some great tenacity for whatever she's gone through. Depressing—because I realize that whatever it is that the Titans know about her, it has taken an entirety of their heroic careers for them to earn that trustworthiness from her. For noobies such as me, Bard and—well—Static, that means we've got a Hell of a lot of catching up to do. That, or—we can pretty much use Raven as a pressure gauge to show us how impossibly out of the loop we are… …and may forever be._

_Oh, wait—What the Hell is she talking about? Distress—what?_

"As you left the laboratory, something happened to you," Raven drones. "As an executive Titan, it's my duty—and concern—to make sure you're all right."

I blink. Confusedly. Numbly. _Huh? Wait—she's an empath, right? But doesn't that mean that I have to know what's up with myself first before she knows it or can she know things that I don't know or--?_

Oh wait. The stairwell. I collapsed suddenly. But… …that was just a case of tangle-foot….right?

"… … …," she stares at me.

I smile nervously. I shrug. I shake my head, shrug again, and mouth: _'I am fine'_.

She stares at me some more.

I sweat a little bit. _Yes, I will admit it._

"Well, if anything like that should happen again…," she murmurs. "Just let us know."

I nod fervently.

By all means.

"Oh.. ….and you must be wondering about Terra.. ….," she reads me.

I perform a double-take. ".. …?.!.?"

"It is.. …a long story. But it is a story best to keep quiet. Not so much hidden—but to speak of it will only bring about a painful redundancy that—quite honestly—Terra doesn't need to have to endure right now. Please trust me, Noir. And pass the word along to Bard too if you could. Robin and I will share with you all we can about Terra in the not-too-distant future. But just.. …keep it cool around her for now, do you understand what I mean?"

I nod. I nod with honesty. But I can't help but scratch my head.

_But why can't **you** go talk to Bard yourself--?_

"Sorry again for the intrusion," she drones her way to the door with a swish of her elegant blueness. "You sleep well. I know how much you like to meditate in the mornings. And that's the last thing myself or anyone would want to fluster."

I smile slightly at that.

_Creaaaak—**SWISSSH-CHTUNG!**_

"But know this.. ….," she pauses in the doorway. ".. …. …the next time I catch you, Bard, or **_anyone_** pawing my robes in the laundry in even the **_slightest_**, and I'll give you nights of endless **_nightmares_**." Her eyes flicker a blazing-hot gray. "…. ….. ….the least you can do is _ask_ first."

I am numb by this point. But at her last words, I point innocently towards myself and dribble off words that I don't even have to ramble—

**SWISSSSH!**

"… … …"

Okaaaay.

Someone call the exorcist. Stat!

I sigh my way towards the shower, but not without tossing Myrkblade onto my cot. _Thwap!_

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

My mind is preoccupied.

_But necessarily with what Bard and Cyborg and the rest must be discovering upstairs._

_Not so much with the meditating I plan on doing early tomorrow sunrise._

_Not even the fact that—just like many other nights—I nearly died from bulletfire this evening._

_It's something that has been bothering me a lot lately. Something I don't even tell Bard about. I don't have anyone I could possibly 'tell' this to… .. …nobody but myself._

_It haunts me as I slide under the one or two blankets I have spared myself on my lone cot of a bed. I shudder and think about my new companions.. …'friends'.. … ..comrades in arms. I am so thankful for being inducted into the Titan's Tower. So truly thankful. And there is nothing I can do to deny it. I can only hope the likes of Robin and Bard can realize how thankful I am, and that there's nothing I'd do to complain._

_But when Bard insists that I'm 'shy'—and I won't lie, I've heard him say it—or when Starfire makes cute comments about my quietness or when Static Shock or Beast Boy jokes that I should 'speak up' more…._

_I hope they realize.. …I hope they figure it out…_

_This scar on my throat.. …These lips that barely open.. …_

_It's not that I won't talk. If I could… …if I just **could**.. …I would wear the Ear of the World off._

_And the irony of the blessing of being a Titan is its sudden curse exposed to blacklight: surrounded by so many close peoples, I am suddenly aware of how lonely an existence I have for me from hereon out. I… …I-I really can't complain. A hero makes its sacrifice._

_It's just that…._

_Th-That I still have the awful aftertaste of Heaven in my throat. For there was a time—not too awfully long ago—when I knew what it was like to always have someone… …a certain Someone to talk to on such a regular basis that sh-she and I practically shared the same brain._

_And the same heart… …_

_I have gained so many things in this move, but I shall never regain that…._

_I feel that haunting soreness in my empty throat again. It's almost a nightly routine. So I clench my eyes shut before the moistness shows through to the sheltered night._

_It's okay._

_It's okay—just… …_

_Think of a happy thought._

_Beast Boy's silliness._

_  
Starfire's sweet, melodic voice._

_A good guitar song from Bard on an autumn afternoon._

_A game of Street Fighter._

_Feeding squirrels in the park._

_Drifting…Drifting….Drifting…_

_Asleep._


	8. Rooftop

I don't know why, but I like the roof of Titans Tower. The view of the city is magnificent, but it doesn't really interest me. Instead, I like looking at the watery blue horizon that goes on forever. The waves reaching for the sky and being forever defeated as they try to conquer the land.

My mind is clear up here. The ocean is peaceful and thought provoking. Not quite as good as a mountain, but the next best thing.

And besides all that...it's a good place to sneak a smoke. Noir knew but, besides that, the Titans were unaware of it. I thought it was a good idea to keep it a secret...at least a little longer. I exhaled smoke from my cancer stick and kept my free arm under my poncho for warmth. The morning wind before the sun rose was cold, but in a good, refreshing way. The sky turned into a painting of orange and silver as the sun started to peek over the horizon.

The event the night before hadn't been much more than a light show. When the criminal was extracted from the red crystal, he was unconscious. Cyborg and Static Shock had hooked him up...to something or other...and let him sleep through the night. So I had done the same.

I took in one last lungful of smoke before negligently flipping my cigarette over the side of the roof. My mind wandered as I watched the sunrise.

I had kind of fallen into the superhero business. I had been on the wrong side of the law for most of my life. Then I became neutral. It wasn't until I'd met Noir than I started kicking bad guy butt.

_A delicate, soot-covered hand reached through the flaming rubble, something glittering between the fingers._

I shuddered and unconsciously grasped the cross pendant necklace over my heart. Yes...Noir wasn't the only person who helped me get on the right path.

"You like sunrises, huh?"

I turned and saw Terra behind me, wearing a hooded sweatshirt just a little too big for her that I suspected was Beast Boy's. She walked over and leaned against the edge of the roof.

"I like sunrises a lot." I answered, turned back around to stand beside her and look out at it. "They're like promises that will never be broken."

Terra glanced at me.

"That was surprisingly deep."

"I'm a surprisingly deep fellow." I shrugged. "I reckon you're a fan of sunrises, too?"

"I like sunsets better, actually. It was just...I couldn't sleep. Bad dreams."

I remembered something.

"It didn't have anything to do with that guy we brought in, did it?"

Terra hugged herself, either from cold or something else, and waited a moment before she answered.

"Being trapped like that. Not being able to move or see or even think..." She shuddered.

"It must be horrible. I couldn't imagine it myself."

Terra didn't reply.

"Well..." I scratched the back of my hair under my hat. "You have to think of it this way: What are the chances of it ever happening to you? It's a little funny to be afraid of something that will probably never happen, right?"

Terra looked at me as if she wanted to say something, but it never came. She worked her tongue in her cheek.

"...Right." She finally said. She squared her shoulders. "I'm going back downstairs."

"Nice talking to you."

She turned back before she opened the door.

"By the way, I won't tell anyone you smoke. Just don't do it around me. It's gross."

I sweat dropped. She must have smelled it.

"Heh...t-thanks." I stopped. "And Terra?"

"Hm?"

"If you need to...I dunno...talk about anything...I've got a pair of ears that work pretty well."

She nodded and gave me small smile before leaving.

I stretched and looked back out at the horizon when she was gone. The sun had finally emerged completely.

A new day had begun.

TTTTTTTTTT

I stepped into the main room after my morning workout, wiping the sweat off of my face with a towel.

The main room of Titans Tower was always a hectic place, especially in the morning. You have nine super-powered teens doing their own thing while still half-asleep, only half-hearted trying to stay out of each other's way. I shimmied through them and already had my hands on a piece of toast when I noticed-

"Cyborg!" I called across the room. "Do you know where Noir is?"

"He went down to the beach, dawg."

I nodded to myself. He was probably meditating. I found a safe place where I wouldn't be trampled and looked around the room as I ate.

Starfire sat at what served as the kitchen table, pouring mustard over a literal mountain of waffles and licking her lips in anticipation. She was a little weird...maybe even more than a little...but still impossible not to love.

Raven sat on a small couch on the side of the room. Her legs were crossed and her nose was in a book. I noticed during my time here that she was a quiet one. But when she spoke, the others differed her a kind of respect they only reserved for Robin. Maybe even a deeper kind of respect.

Or maybe they were just afraid of her. She _is_ pretty dark.

Robin typed away with gloved fingers on the main computer, all business as always. I figured that, sooner or later, he'd lighten up. But he hadn't yet, at least.

I had no idea where Static was. Probably messing around in the lab with our criminal. Beast Boy and Terra were missing, too, though I would have bet my bottom dollar they were together.

It was a strange group I found myself in. Teenage aliens and elves and sorceress' and robots. But what the heck. I'm strange, too, so I fit right in.

Cyborg sat on the middle couch, smashing away at a game controller.

"You want to play some Gamestation with me?" He said to me. "BB's AWOL."

I shrugged and walked over to the couch, stuffing the last of the toast in my mouth.

"Got Smackdown Superheroes? I love that game."


	9. Murk in the Morning

My Master always told me that I was a perfect fighter. But I wasn't the absolute 'best' fighter. I was ten years old at the time. And it bothered me to try and contemplate the meaning of such a mystical expression.

_Years passed and I grew up, and I began to understand exactly what he meant. Everybody is perfect in that everyone is themselves. But you cannot expect one's perfection to be better than another's. Life just isn't that generous all the time._

_Which—I think nowadays—was the Master's way of breaking it to me that I was not the most gifted of all his students. I lost most of the spars. I panicked under pressure. I couldn't run as far, teleport as far, or swing my sword as far as everyone else who learned the tools of the Spectrum. I was young, inexperienced, and naïve._

_But according to him, I was perfect. And it shocked me then as much as it makes sense to me now that I was chosen to be his Balance Adept—the 'heir' to the power of Blackness. I was astounded. I still am astounded, howbeit inescapably lonely._

_I'm a little older now. Nearing sixteen. I can't say I'm anywhere close to being the godly Joe Schmoe, John Doe, or Gary Stu to wield the sword in the name of the Titans' ambition. But there's one thing I've never lost sight of in regards to myself._

_I am perfect._

_And I shall always be 'perfect'._

_The same as all of us are and will be perfect._

Even if life itself—as ever—assaults us with the wages of imperfection.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

It is the morning time.

A bright Sun—still cool in the early morning—drips off the Ocean waves lapping up against the rock bluffs of Titan's Island. I am standing on the Western Side, with the Suspension stretching far aside to me like a second horizon. I am surrounded by sawgrass, swaying and drifting in the wind.

Myrkblade is in my grasp. My exercise movements are slow, methodical, dancer-like at slow mo. I am looking at everything and nothing at the same time. My senses are honed in on the fabric of the universe—and the very epicenter of that fabric. It is an element so very familiar to me, like a second bloodstream.

Balance.

Ever since I joined the Titans, I've been asked multiple times about my powers. The nature of them. How I am able to do the agile things I seemingly can do. I hesitate to answer any of my partners—Bard included. _Why?_

Because the answer is even more awkward than the question. _I have no powers._ The Spectrum is something that is applicable to all human beings. And that makes it an essence, not a gift.

_All in all, I just want to avoid explaining it to Beast Boy because I just **KNOW** he'll pull some wisecrack about Jedi proverbs—unless Static beats him to it first._

I take deep breaths. My black eyes are fountaining fumes of obsidian—partly to shield my sensitive optics from the blossoming sunlight, but mostly because it is a necessary side effect of my fluctuating concentration of murk.

'Murk'.. ….the physical (and sometimes incorporeal) manifestation of my being a vessel of Balance into this waking world. It is something that swings, swims, and sloshes with nature. And it also has the neutrality to spin orbits around anything and everything that exists. To 'fit between the cracks' of matter with intense serration. To evade and to envelope and to engage. But never to invade. It's not so much a passive shade of the spectrum as it is necessary one. For Balance is the essence that keeps the poles of life in check—Construction and Destruction. White and Red. Progress and Inevitability.

It fountains out from the slicing contours of my blade as I stealthily guide the wooden blade through the air and over the sawgrass fingers in a Tai Chi of ferocious frothiness. I take deep breaths. I focus.. …and let the essence of darkness manipulate the movements of my limbs. And I am in peace—not so much enraptured as I am complete.

And it is at such a moment that my mind teeters on the brink of oblivion. And like a devout Buddhist monk or an ascetic priest, I feel the euphoria of existence.

And I am speechless.

This session can go on for well over an hour. And each morning, it usually does. But it so happens that a circumstance branching over from last night has fountained its way into the present with an ear-shattering, fateful: **_"Snnnkkt! Yo! YO Titans! This is Static, I-I think you should all head on down into the laboratory. Looks like our over-muscled 'guest' is coming to."_**

"_Static, this is Robin. We read you. **All Titans. Report to Cyborg's lab. On the double."**_

I take a deep breath and exhale. It's not a sigh. It feels too good to be a sigh.

Other things are worth sighing for.

_CHIIIING!_ I sheathe Myrkblade. I walk and hop over the sun-lit rock bluffs. I pause above a puddle of trapped Ocean water and glance down. I see my reflection. My squirrel-black eyes. My frazzled hair sprayed darkly around my cranium. And a thin, deep scar stretched in a solid line across my throat. It is a scar that I subconsciously finger.

So many things worth sighing for… …

"… … …"

I shrug it off and bound, blur, surge my way up to the Toward entrance.

_I could really use one of Bard's songs right about now.. … …_


	10. Soggybottom Blues 1

The Teen Titans remind me the most of a rag-tag army filled with talented misfits. Like that MASH show Noir seems to like so much. And Robin is the general, barking out orders and expecting us to follow them like good little soldiers.

I'm not used to that. When Noir and I were doing the solo thing together, neither of us was ever the 'leader'. There were never any orders between us, just suggestions. I've always been an independent fellow and, maybe to a lesser extent, so has Noir. It's just taking us a while to get used to the new concept.

I was up on the roof, sneaking yet another cigarette when Robin called us on the little devices that reminded me of Turtlecoms, telling everyone to meet up in the lab. I was the last one there, which probably wasn't the best way to make a good impression, but no one seemed to notice as the criminal was coming to. He blinked and gaped at the colorful teenagers gathered around him.

"Dude," Beast Boy suggested. "This is where you say: 'I just had the strangest dream! You and you were there. And you were there. And-'."

"Knock it off, Beast Boy." Robin told him. He looked over and Cyborg and Virgil. "Are his vital signs good?"

Cyborg nodded.

"Yup, every thing's in order. He'll be fine."

"Good." In a flash, Robin grabbed the man with both hands by the front of his shirt and jerked him to a sitting up position. "Talk! Who do you work for?"

I blinked. He'd gone into hardcore mode real quick.

The criminal still looked dazed.

"W-where am I?"

"We're asking the questions here." Raven informed him in her droning voice. She was almost more intimidating by accident than Robin was on purpose.

"Your employer." Robin continued the interrogation. "Who is he?"

"Ch-Chang!" The man wheezed out. "Professor Chang!"

"What did he want with the rocks?"

"I dunno! He never said. He just offered us the job and we took it."

"Where is he now?"

"I don't know, man!"

The eye slits of Robin's mask narrowed and he brought him forward to where their noses almost touched.

"You don't know?" He grated from between clenched teeth.

The criminal started to sweat as I took notes. I'd never really officially interrogated someone before.

"W-we met him down by the waterfront on the docks! I think he has a boat out there or something!"

Robin nodded and let him go. He turned to the rest of us.

"All right, Titans. Let's go."

I rubbed my hands in anticipation. Chang might not have been the most famous villain of the Titans, but I had heard of him. Finally, Noir and I would get a chance to prove ourselves against one of the big boys. The two of use turned to follow.

Robin stopped us.

"I have a different job for the two of you."

I blinked.

Robin pointed to the man on the bed.

"I need you to take him down to the police station."

"C'mon!" I folded my arms across my chest. "You gotta be kidding me."

Robin's steely stare told me he wasn't.

_Damn._

"Live with it." Raven said as she brushed by us. "The new ones always get the worst jobs."

That made me feel a little better.

"You've been through it, too?"

"...I founded the team." She replied as the doors whooshed shut.

Noir laughed breathily at me as I deflated.

"What's so cotton-pickin' funny? You're stuck doing this, too."

Noir shrugged at me.

"You don't care?"

He signed: _I don't mind doing things that will earn their trust._

I sighed disgusted at him.

"Robin's gonna love you. You're the perfect little soldier."

Noir's face protested, but I'd already turned to our prisoner.

"There's no helping it, I reckon. Let's get this show on the road."

Noir signed at me.

"Fine, fine. I'll say it."

He looked at me expectantly.

"Let's mosey."

Noir grinned.


	11. Soggybottom Blues 2

Five children stand in the shadows of the gently _rocking_ cabin. Rusted metal floor and walls stretch around them. And as their bodies bob up and down in the uncontrollable imbalance, they remain ever still. Ever resolute.

Ever quiet.. …Like a damned village.

With a leg propped up on a wooden crate, the tallest-and-thinnest of the group stands. His pale jumpsuit is a silvery-reflective ghost sheet that matches the snow-white sheen of his skin. His hair is a wispy-ivory puff of follicle 'smoke'. Black tattoo designs swirl up and form rings just beneath two glaring, bulbous eyes of pure insanity. He grins a Cheshire nightmare as he flexes his fingers, produces puffs of white-hot-mist, and glares across the cabin with quiet, psychotic glee.

To his left poutingly stands a young girl with emerald green hair. She is dressed in blue so dark, it's almost black as it hugs her shapely figure in a two-piece mesh of sparsely armored spandex. She bears a frown—a look of being endlessly disgruntled. Red and orange arteries visibly end in green bulbs at her temples, elbows, midriff—and other exposed bits of skin like a venus fly trap about to explode. She flares her nostrils and waits, waits, waits—as if impatient for the world to end.

In the center of the group stands a petite young boy who—in spite of his youth and shortness—possesses a fiery countenance capable of tossing over a mountain. He wears a dark-purple suit entrenched about a nimble frame of amber-orange skin. Fiery tufts of hair trail down his tight forehead in a series of furious braids. His eyebrows are shaved… …butcheringly, and far higher upon his forehead than is otherwise considered 'normal'. He too looks hormonally pissed off at the world as he waits.. …waits… …waits….

Next is a young lady with long, dark-gray flowing hair. Like a stormcloud descending from her gentle head. Her bodysuit is a sleek, reflective gray. And so is the cape that drapes gracefully over her shoulder. Metal bits glitter along the hem and appear to be encrusting the edges of her eyes like a silver mine is bursting slowly out from inside her lithe frame. A pair of clunky 'discs' form huge bracelets to her thin wrists, like broken handcuffs. She is silent as a corpse's breath. Waiting with ease….

Finally—far off from the rest of the ominous group—a young girl sits on a lone crate and nervously hugs herself. Her short, short blonde hair hugs a shivering skull that is sheen all over with frost and cold steam. Every breath.. … ..every jittery movement from the blue-clad femme causes mist to rise up into the air, as if a human-shaped statuette of dry ice. She glances over with nervous blue eyes and waits.. ….waits… …waits….

For the 'caretaker' of the boat to speak.

_Whurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr—_A long, robot arm inserts the haphazard red crystal into a huge metal vessel emitting clouds of steam and exhaust. _HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssssss_. A red glow pulses as the crystal enters the cauldron. Sparks shower down from random, robotic joints.

The frozen girl flinches.

The red-braided boy does nothing.

The young man of ivory chuckles insanely…

_Hisssssssssssssssss… … …_ The red glow dims, settles, and bleeds a low crimson into the shadows of the bobbing cabin. This gives way to the silhouette of a hobbling hump of a man who waddles his way into the midst of the scientific scene.

"_Mmmmmm… ….pure, natural Xenothium. The strongest, densest sample of the compound in the world. Eheheheheh.. …'perfection'. That's what it is, you children have no idea. You think you're here for a simple week of 'Juvenile Villain Preschool'—BAH! I only have you here because I need you. And your boss—ahem---your **new** boss is needing a new A-plus student. And I happen to be in the league of fetching that very same rogue for her…. …"_

"For a walking, frozen catfish…," the ivory boy's eyes flare as his smiling teeth show. "… ..you sure are full of hot air…"

"Mmmm… …Watch your tongue, young Acyd. Your instructors gave me permission to fry your internal organs the first second I felt inclined to reward you for your jocularity—Eheheheheh—"

"Buffoon," the girl with green hair growls, rolling her eyes.

"Eh?" Professor Chang looks over, his red goggles glinting in the sparse light from a nearby porthole.

"**He's** _'Miist'_," the veiny girl points with a red-orange fingernail. **"I'm** _'Acyd'_."

"Pffft… …Whatever the blasted difference may be! You are all like mouseketeers with superpowers and rehab trouble. Eheheheheh… …gotta write that one down.. …"

"You do that, old man," the ivory boy happily sneers with a grin. "I'll read it in your diary after I've killed you in your sleep."

"Save the double-crossing for _after_ you do your duties and I do mine… …. …eheheheh.. …is that clear, **boy**?"

'Miist' merely chuckles, scratches at the squiggly black tattoos under his ivory eyes, and continues playing with puffs of white hot smoke at the ends of his fingers.

"Professor Chang," the short amber-skinned teen with red braids speaks up. His voice is betrayingly strong. Fierce. Forceful. He glares emerald eyes with every sentence and phrase: "When our trainer Booker told us that this mission was going to deal with stolen samples of Xenothium, everyone of us at H.I.V.E. assumed we would be combating the Titans. Tell me….tell _us_… …" the young man leans forward. "How long do we have to wait for the _inevitable_?"

"Not that awfully long, young master—_'Flaar', is it?"_

"… .. …"

"Eheheheheh…but of course," Chang half-bows with steam emanating from his bodily equipment. "Mmm—but the Titanssss…. …No, _they_ are not the 'inevitable'."

"But they intercepted the criminals who procured you that sample from the museum.. …," the young lady in metallic-gray drones. Calmly concerned. "Knowing the detective skills of the Titans in defeating Monsieur Mallah and the brain, there's every bit of concern that they will be upon us in a matter of hours."

"No one is more aware of the loss suffered by the Brain than I, young lady," Chang momentarily frowns. He points a gloved finger. "The only reason I'm dealing with you pathetic delinquents of disorderrrrrr.. …. …issss that I owe your instructor Booker for freeing me from that awful prison. Believe me…." He grits his uneven teeth. "… …once you share a confined cell with the 'Ding Dong Daddy'.. … ..you start to contemplate desperate things… …."

"But Polaar is onto something," Acyd gestures towards the lady in flowing gray. "If we're going to defeat the Titans, then we had better go on the offensive!" She punches her fist and a splurt of acid exits her fingertips and burns at the rusted floor. "Before they so much as get _near_ your precious Xenothium, we should fight straight to their heart and melt them from the inside out!"

"Talkiiiiiiing my language…," Miist coos…

"Children… … ..heheheheheh.. …._children… … …_," Chang paces leisurely around the red-pulsating cauldron where the Xenothium crystal is being 'cooked'. "When Booker's boss sent you here after ensuring my liberation.. .. ..he had no intention of you _destroying the Titans._ But rather to hold them back…"

The blonde girl of ice merely trembles….

'Flaar', the redhead squints his eyes. "You mean Booker expects us to sacrifice ourselves on your pathetic account?"

"Not sacrifice.. …," Chang holds a finger up. "**Delay**. Like I said.. …" And as Chang begins to grin, the device where the crystal is located starts to glow brighter and brighter with crimson fury. "… …I have a prodigal son to summon. And once he comes to the call of our mutually envied 'treasure'… … …you'll all have a new Inductee for your precious _Neo H.I.V.E. … …. …_An Inductee who will help you wipe out those pesky Titans one day or another, whether or not he _desires to_. Eheheheheheh…."

The five 'meta-students' watch with mixed curiosity and apprehension as the chuckling mad scientist's project starts to glow and strobe and glow and strobe and—

**VROMMMMMM!.!.!**

The boat rocks ever furiously….

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"… …. …." The thug walks down Main Street. "… …." The thug glances left.

Citizens on the sidewalk blink. Staring in the morning light. Speechless.

"… …. …" The bruised thug glances silently to his right.

School children. Joggers with their dogs. Hot dog vendors and taxi cab drivers. All staring.

"… … …" The thug looks straight forward. And then the thug frowns. The thug grits his teeth and fights back a pulsating redness to his temples. The thug is pissed because he's wearing a _collar_. "This is humiliating as _SHIT_."

"Hey!" Bard frowns. He yanks back on the length of chain in his hand and kicks the thug square in the butt. "Keep walking and watch the gutter language in front of public… …." Bard mutters. "… …_shithead._"

I smile nervously. I gulp, and fight back a furious sweatdrop as I glance all around us. We've been following Robin's orders---in that we've been taking the captured thug in chains to the police HQ… …. …_literally_. For the last hour and a half, we've been walking the helpless crook down into the center of Jump City with Bard's last-minute invention of restraint: a length of metal leash and a titanium collar. The poor dog himself stumbles a few feet ahead of us in open sight of everyone as we traverse Main Street towards our destination. His hands and feet are also chained together, and he can't resist the occasional curse word of anger and embarrassment slipping through his lips like a case of the runs in reverse.

"You ever heard of fair and balanced punishment or whatshit---" _WHAP!_ "AUGH!"

"Reckon you heard what I said, punk?.?.?" Bard cackles. "Don't be a smarty-pants. You wanna talk about your rights to fair punishment? After breaking into a museum and nearly blowin' a hole in my 'lil buddy Noir's forehead, you're lucky I don't plum strip you and hang you upside down from a flagpole! Hah! There's ONE morning routine that'll send even the firemen jumping back into bed!"

"That's just what I always hate about you 'noble vigilantes'," the crook seethes out loud. "You think you can play God with petty criminals. Well, as soon as I'm out of prison I'm gonna—" **CLONG!** The thug is suddenly shoved straight into a lamppost. "AUGH! DAMMIT! WHAT THE HELL--?.!"

"SHHH---Better watch where you walk, buckaroo," Bard suppresses a smirk and adjusts his hat in one hand. "And look both ways too!"

"Nnnnghh…grrghhh…mmmgnnnghh…why I oughta—"

"And don't be pullin' none of that Cool Hand Luke bunk on us neither! We're good rookies—learning from Robin's example! So don't think we won't be rough on ya if you try something funny!"

"Heh…How could you two POSSIBLY hurt my ego more.. …?"

Bard grins. "Glad to hear we're on the same page…"

I cough…cough…

The cowboy glances at me over his shoulder as he leads the thug along.

I hand-sign furiously.

"You kiddin'?" Bard whispers back at me. "This jerk's getting just what he deserves!"

I bite my lip….

"Besides…," the poncho'd Titan pal of mine mutters in a less-than-happy voice. "Robin and company stole off with the T-Car, and there's no way in frozen heck I'm lettin' this guy ride side-saddle with me on _MY_ steel horse."

I smile nervously. I hand-sign something else…

"Pffft! Of course Cyborg will let me drive the T-Car someday! You think I'm _that_ off-kilter?"

I raise an eyebrow and smirk knowingly…

"Well nuts to you," he half-sticks his tongue out. "Besides, what you got to lay claim to? Wait till you get your permit, Noirry-boy."

I groan mentally and slump along with him like I'm in chains myself.

"When the Hell are we gonna get there?" The thug moans. "I'd rather do twenty-to-life than endure any more of this crap!"

"Speak, and you shall receive… …for once at least," Bard half bows and motions towards the entrance of.. .. … …a grandiose, marble building façade with statues of 'Justice' and 'Enforcement'.

The Jump City Police Department (JCPD).

Wow.. …. …it's bigger than I thought.

Bard whistles long and hard. "Now _that's_ a woodshed!"

"… … …" The collar'd thug glares.

"… … …" So do I.

"…. …. …" Bard sweatdrops. "All right. I reckon that's pushin' it for _one day_."

"Brother, for once you're right."

"WHO ASKED YOU?" Bard frowns at the thug.

"Certainly not your gay-ass lover there!" the thug smirks and nods at me. "What's got him so quiet? His mouth sore from spending the night with you?"

I gasp… …and try to hide it.

"… … …" Bard stares. "… … .. …" Quietly, he turns to me. "Say Noir, why don't you grab us both a couple of drinks from the soda fountain across the way? I'm thirstin' like there's the whole of Arizona between my tonsils."

I nod nervously, hide my blushing, and walk away on uneven feet.

Alone with the cowboy Titan, the thug chuckles…..almost with _relief_. "Heh, you're cool after all, kid. After that wisecrack of mine, I could have sworn you were gonna tear my ass a new one! Heh heh heh."

"Heh heh heh…," Bard dryly chuckles with a plastic smile. He suddenly lifts his heavy leather boot. "You reckon?"

**_WHAP!_** He kick-shoves the chained crook straight into the revolving door.

"AUGH!" _FW-FWUMP! _"DAH!" _FWAP-FWAP-fWAP!_ "SH-SHIT! DAMN! AUGH!" **_WHUD! WH-WHUD! CL-CLANK! THUDDD!_** "OOF!" The crook finally ragdolls his way through the spinning door and collapses on the marble floor of the Police Department's spacious, first-floor atrium.

Bard dusts off his hands, straightens his hat, and nods to the wind. "Yeah… …you 'reckon' all right." He walks reverse through the revolving door, raising his hands and smirking at the crowd. "Nothing to see here, folks! Cowboy business. Get back to your…. …'urbaning'. Much obliged."

He enters through the revolving door. And the clusters of curious people start to part ways.

"J-Just who is that, anyways?"

"_A new Titan?"_

"_I dunno, but suddenly want to whip out my Hank Williams CD…."_


	12. Soggybottom Blues 3

A green squirrel scurried up the heavy chain of a down anchor. It reached the guardrail and jumped up on the elevated building that lead down to the bowels of the ship. It transformed into a tight-lipped Beast Boy who looked left and right suspiciously. All clear, he waved to his teammates.

Terra and Static Shock floated up on earth and metal as quietly as possible. Cyborg jumped from the dock and landed on the deck of the ship, landing with just a soft thump despite his huge size. Starfire set down softly beside him and Raven emerged from a black teleporting hole. Lastly, Robin landed in a crouch on the guardrail with no sound other than the slight rustling of his cape.

He scanned the area from his behind his eye mask.

No one.

He stepped down to the deck of the ship and spotted the door that lead down into the cabin. He looked over his shoulder and pointed at it. Silently, the Teen Titans gathered around it. When everyone was in place, Robin held his breath before raising his metal-tipped boot and kicking the door in.

**CRASH!**

"What the!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

The man inside fell off the bed even as the woman quickly covered herself with a blanket.

Robin's face turned beet red.

"Um...sorry." The Boy Wonder scratched the back of his head. "Wrong ship."

The man inside frowned at him. He walked over to the door.

**WHAM!**

And slammed it in Robin's face.

The Titans collectively blinked.

"Did you see that?" Static broke the silence. "That girl was _so_ checking me out-"

Robin stomped by him like a thundercloud.

"Can it, Virgil."

"Hey! What did I say about calling me-"

"CAN IT!"

TTTTTTTTTT

With as little decorum as possible, I slammed the thug against the front desk at JCPD with Noir trailing behind me.

The young man behind the desk looked up quickly, his face surprised.

"Um...can I help you?"

"Room for one, please." I said pleasantly, nodding at the red-faced thug beside me who was muttering under his breath.

The receptionist looked at me closer.

"Are you that new Titan?"

"_We're_ those new Titans." I pointed my thumb back at Noir.

"It's nice to know the Titans are getting more help."

I looked around, anxious to get out of there. This wasn't my first trip to a police station...

"So...can I just leave this guy with you?"

"Is he from the museum heist last night?"

I nodded.

"Yup. I'm sure he's anxious as all get out to see his buddies again."

"We have a couple of detectives on the case. Let me call them down to take him off your hands."

He turned away to speak into the the intercom. I did the same and looked over at our captive.

"Any more wise remarks before you leave us?"

"Kiss my ass." He spat.

I was about to reply, but Noir waved his arm to get the thug's attention. Then he signed and made a fist around his thumb.

The criminal looked questioningly at me.

"What does that mean?"

"Roughly translated?" I smirked. "It means 'asshole'."

The thug grumbled.

Noir looked a little embarrassed, but I gave him a high five anyway. That had been a good one.

The thug looked at the receptionist.

"Tell those guys to get here quick. The sooner I can get away from Jay and Silent Bob here, the better."

He didn't have to wait long. A few minutes later, the elevator dinged and door slid open. A pair of men walked out with a brusque swagger. One had a face of unshaven black stubble and wore a crumpled gray suit with the tie loose. The other looked as if he was a shady private investigator with his long dusty coat and seventies mustache.

"Decker, Walker." The receptionist said. "He's over there."

The two detectives walked over to us with no preamble.

"That the last nutjob from the museum heist?" Decker asked us.

"That's him." I said.

Walker shook his head.

"The Titans don't usually let petty bastards like him get away." He looked at me knowingly.

"Hey! We're new at this. Give us a break."

"Rookies, huh?" Decker snorted. "Yeah, well, don't dick around and get yourselves killed."

"Heh...we'll keep that in mind."

Decker kicked the thug in the shin.

"All right, get you ass up."

The thug struggled a little when Decker forced him to his feet.

"H-hey!" He protested. "Aren't you even gonna read me my rights?"

Decker looked at Walker.

"Nah," Walker decided. "Maybe later if I'm feeling horny."

Both Noir and I blinked at they led him away. Noir slowly looked at me.

I looked back at him.

"Those guys..."

Noir waited expectantly.

"Are frickin' _awesome_!"

Noir pratfalled.


	13. Soggybottom Blues 4

"Y-You sure that creep didn't give you some phony coverup story about the boat n'stuff?" Beast Boy gestures from where he's perched atop a wooden dock post in the hot sun. A confuzzled Terra and Starfire flank him while Cyborg and Static wait around anxiously and a furious Robin paces back and forth. "I mean—how do we know he was giving us the truth in the _slightest?_ That wasn't exactly your longest marathon interrogation, Robby."

Robin pauses. He glares at the changeling through the very edge of his mask. "What are you saying… …?"

"I don't think Beast Boy m-means you're l-losing your edge or anything, R-Robin," Terra nervously speaks aloud. "But.. …We dropped the guy into Bard's and Noir's lap pretty quick, didn't we? I think that's just what the bad guy wanted. And here we are getting lost among all these buoyed ships. And for what reason?"

"Yo.. …," Static bites his lip and rubs his far shoulder while casting a jittery glance at the waves. "Is this a bad time to tell y'all that I ain't so kosher when it comes to lots of _water_?"

"Let's all risk ourselves one limb at a time, Static," Robin gestures. "In the meantime, let's pull our heads together…" Robin turns about and rubs his chin, staring at the various old, rusting derelicts bobbing up and down in the early morning tide. "If I were a conspicuous, wayward ship large enough to house a nefarious laboratory befitting Professor Chang—which one would I be?"

Silence.. ….

Lapping water…

Distant seagulls.. ….

"… … …."

"… .. …."

"… … …dude, if _this_ is the extent of your detective skills, then Batman had to have been high on smoked guano or something when he showed you the ropes."

"Quiet, Beast Boy! Now's not the time for—"

"Skkkt-HEHEHEHEHEHEEE!" Terra clutches her stomach and all but collapses over.

Static Shock smirks, arms folded.

"Nnnngh…," Robin snarls. "Do I _always_ have to put you two **in line**?"

"I dunno, Robin," Static points. "The elf-dawg's got a point there. Thanks for educating us with your 'Eeney-Meeney-Miney-Moe' Technique."

"Don't be ridiculous, I am merely—"

"Sooooo cuuuuuute," Starfire coos with both hands together. "Your strategy is humorously endearing, dearest Robin! Hehehehe!"

"Hah hah hah!" Beast Boy manages above Terra's persistent giggles.

Robin sighs, running a hand over his masked face. "Am I the only one who realizes that we're going nowhere with this search--?"

"I wouldn't be so sullen yet, Robbie," Cyborg speaks up. He's 'typing' away at his wrist console. He strolls up and gestures at an LCD display while explaining: "While you were all cackling at each other like a bunch of first graders, I took it upon myself to cross reference a previous scan with a sudden hunch of mine."

"In less Nerdlish, please?" Beast Boy chirps.

Cyborg ignores him and says to Robin: "Remember how Bard, Noir and I found the thug last night? He was sealed away in the crystalline structure for hours on end, and by following a specific resonance frequency I was able to locate him and—"

"Is there a point to this or a blunt edge of redundancy?"

Cyborg merely smirks: "I amplified the sensor response to the frequency—and sure enough, I've located a higher concentration of Chang's tech somewhere nearby—and YES…it IS in this very shipyard."

"Well, never mind for MY awful theories," Beast Boy moans.

Terra pats his shoulder, still chuckling a little. "We still love you, elf-load."

"Spppkkkt--!" Static spits on a canteen-full and grins wide: "'Elf-Load'?.?.?"

"AHEM," Robin frowns at the rest and then squints at Cyborg. "What's your diagnosis, Cy?"

"Only one substance can produce this much of a resonance of energy—At least where Chang's concerned." A knowing smirk. "**Xenothium."**

"Wonderful…," Robin grits his teeth. _Crkkk!_ He produces a bo-staff and twirls about in full-fisted action. "Titans, we have to move. NOW."

Everyone seriouses up, standing at full attention. Including Beast Boy.

"A Xenothium reading of _that_ frequency means one of two things," Robin grumbles. "Either Chang's starting a dangerous experimental reaction that could level this entire waterfront. Or _you know who_ is presently paying us a visit."

A partial chill is collectively felt from that.

Starfire gulps. "Or perhaps both occasions simultaneously?"

An even greater chill. Only Terra and Static Shock seem clueless…

"Let's not jump to conclusions," Static gestures. "That's Raven's job—" He blinks. He glances around. "Say, just where is the blueberry-headed sorceress anyways?"

"Right **here**. Being **myself**."

"Oh…heheh. Right, girl. Sorry for existing within the fringes of your estrogen."

"Robin, can we **go now**?" Raven moans.

"Going, Raven, Going." Robin leads the charge, but manages a last-second glance at Cyborg. "Cy? Where---?"

The android Titan is way ahead of him. _Klak-Klak-Klakka-Klak!_ "Two docks down and to the left. The big red frigate." He waves a sonic cannon. "Let's lock and load people!"

"Make this quick. Silent. And—most of all—professional."

"Right on."

"You got it, dude."

"Starfire, lead the charge. Raven and Terra, give us cover. Static and Beast Boy, keep by my side. Cyborg, take up the rear."

"Dammit, man! I'm always the rear!"

"Yeah.. …if we live through this, maybe we'll have a conversation about it."

"Y'all can fight and stuff, just don't be knockin' me into the water. On second thought, don't be knockin' me _pyriod_."

"Virgil, shut up and keep up the pace."

"For the LAST…TIME…. …."

And as the Titans flock away….

…. …. ….

… … …. ….

… ….a petite figure with amber skin and fiery braids levitates from around the lofty sail of a run-down yacht a few meters away. At the same time, a sapphire-blue lump of frost rises up like a magical iceberg and reveals a shivering figure watching from below the docks. Finally, a green-haired figure sleekly snakes her way around a series of crates and watches from a stealthy position.

Three seconds pass….

Five… … .. …

And the three fiends close in on the Titan's footsteps in coordinated coldness… ….

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I am staring at the sidewalk panels.

At the street corner curves.

The gutters.. …the manholes.. ….

"… .. … …"

Bard and I are walking across downtown Jump City, and I cannot for the life of me see 'downtown'.

Because my head is constantly pointed _down_.

"Hey Noir.. …."

"… … …."

"Psst—Noir! Hey!"

I tilt my head up. I squint blackly at him.

Bard glances at me with slight concern as we stand at the corner of a busy, vehicle'd intersection. "You okay? You look down—In that you're _looking down_. Everything okay, partner?"

I look at him. I glance beyond at the faint hints of the citizens of this City crowding the sidewalks and doorsteps of our surroundings. And well over two-thirds of them are _staring this way._

I immediately look down and shade a hand over my bulbous black 'eyes'. "… .. …"

"What? Is the sun too much for them peepers of yours?"

"…. … …" I bite my lip.

"… ….," he leans his head to the side. "It ain't the sun, I bet."

I shrug. I pivot my wrist from side to side and slump across the street as the cars stop for us to walk.

Bard paces alongside me. "Look, man. You're a famous kid now. You're a Titan! Heck, we both are! And you know what being a Titan means?---… ….Well," he sighs momentarily. ".. …besides being forced to do menial tasks across Downtown when we could be kicking butt or polishing up my wheels… …" He smiles again at me: "It means we get to hang loose, partner! People look up to us! Everyone doin' the whole staring thing? Heh—I reckon they ain't afraid or spiteful of us none. They're just fixing to get a sight of the two baddest dudes to mosey in on this territory! Believe it or not, the Town's big enough for the both of us, Noirry-boy. And it's about time we shone like the tin stars we are!"

I can't help it. I smirk. I shake my head.

Momma, don't let your son grow up to be this guy…

_Just one is enough for the world. Enough for me._

But I know better than to somehow show my 'thanks'. Especially in public. Even psuedo-brothers know the limits of utter, tragic sappiness. But so what if I'm a sap? At least Starfire and Terra don't seem to mind—Aw crap, I got distracted. Where was I--?

"Look, man, if it's so IMPORTANT for you to hide your eyes to feel more comfortable in the daytime or whatcrud, I can ask Robin to up your allowance so you can get a nice pair of shades at the Sunglass Hut. Heh… …Not like you need to be any more stylish—what with that fancy 'do' of yours."

In response to that, I actually look at him straight on with an incredulous expression.

"I mean it! What have you got to be ashamed of anyhow? Heh…I've always wanted to say—You've got the whole…. …the whole 'Joe Nichols' thing goin'. Like, if the fella blow-dried his hair in an open biplane every morning and said 'screw the conditioner'!"

I chuckle breathily as we walk past a series of flagpoles in the smack-dab center of Downtown.

"Heh heh heh… …'Herbal Essence by Noir'. Now girls have a _reason_ to scream when they're strokin' your hair!"

I blush at that. I shake my head, force a 'necessary' sigh, and lead us back home.

"Well…dayum!" Bard groans. "We sure did what we came all the way here to do! Now what?"

I shrug.

"What's so flippin' dangerous about the Titans' search that keeps us from being allowed to join in on the righteous _fun_?"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Inside the rusted cabin of the nefarious frigate, the red light pulses and pulses and pulses. Through the cracks in the portholes and doorways, the seven Titans can be seen creeping up in swift fashion. Robin walks in mid-crouch. Starfire perches on a railing and motions them on while Raven slowly drifts down and Terra descends on a burning rock. Static and Cyborg take up the rear while a green pelican floats down between them and solidifies in the form of a cautious Beast Boy.

All of this can be seen through the ominous cracks of the old, rotting hull. That is.. …until the figure _looking through all this time_ lets out a psychotic chuckle, twirls about, and teleports away in a bright puff of white _mist_.

Fwissssh!

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"… .. …," Raven glares at the yellow-painted letters on the hull of the red, rusted frigate. "… …the 'Soggy Bottom'?" she drones with no interest whatsoever.

"_Way to go, dudes,"_ Beast Boy whispers. _"We just found Bard's private yacht from a past life."_

"_SHHHH!"_ Robin hisses. _"Titans, we **must** be quiet."_

Static, Terra, Starfire and the rest tighten their joints and march forward at ready. Starbolts charging. Electrical bolts bouncing. And glowing rocks orbiting in a heated display…

"_There.. …," _Robin points a gloved hand towards the door leading into the main cabin. A red, pulsing light emanates from within. _"Just as we suspected. Titans, it's now or never."_

"_Finally.. …,"_ Beast Boy cracks his knuckles. _"Something worth eating my morning muffin for."_

"Starfire, blow open the door. Terra, ready a pile of earthen debris. Static—this whole frigate is a huge conductor. Use your electrical powers carefully, but don't forget that you can use this entire ship against whatever hired thugs Chang may have waiting for us."

"Right-o-rooney."

"Cyborg, you ready?"

"… … …."

"… .. …Cyborg?.?.?"

"….uhm….b-bad news, y'all. I'm kinda useless right now."

"Wh-What?" Beast Boy blinks wildly.

"Cyborg, why?" Terra squeaks.

Cyborg sweatdrops.. ….and suddenly levitates up into the air against his own choosing. "B-Because I can't move a single one of my **_LIMMMMMMMMMBSSSSSSS—_**" WOOOOOOOOOSH! The titanium Titan is suddenly, violently propelled up into the air and out over the waters.

"Cyborg!.!.!" Starfire gasps.

"_Whoahhhhhhh-daaaaaaaaaaaaaamnnnnn!"_ The second-in-command goes plunging several meters away into the tide. _SPLOOSH!_ Suddenly—levitating in the foreground is a fiendish young woman in a grey jumpsuit and a flowing, glittering robe. One hand is stretched towards the plunging Cyborg. Another is pointed towards a rusted metal fisherman's boat.. … …that is presently floating twenty feet above the waves at her command. At notice of the Titans' gasping forms, Polaar looks calmly their way. Her metal-flecked eyes blink, and she flings a titanium-wristed hand straight at them.

**_FWOOOO-OOOO-OOOOSSSSH!_** The rusted boat soars straight at the six, clustered heroes.

They all gasp and jerk—

"TITANS!" Robin shouts. "MOVE--!"

Too late. The boat slams into them.

"Azarath Metrion ZINTHOS!.!.!.!" Raven shrieks at the last second with an impromptu shield of black telekinesis—

**_SMASSSSSSH!.!.!_** The boat explodes into shrapnel against her sudden barrier. The resulting disruption of energy sends Raven slamming back hard against the hull of the frigate. _WHANG!_ "UNNNGH!" She slumps down in a deflated blue petal of unconsciousness.

At the same time, Static Shock and Beast Boy are plunging one way. Robin and Terra are plunging another.

"Nnnngh!" Robin grits his teeth and balances himself with his bo-staff. "Everyone! Regroup and attack—"

"Another attacker at four o'clock!" Static shouts. Then squints his goggled eyes. "Hell, is that little dude _flying---?"_

**_SWOOOOOOSH!_** A screaming, war-frenzied Flaar plunges full-force into Static Shock and with surprisingly gargantuan strength the redheaded fighter plows the Dakota hero straight through the rusted hull and into a deep cabin recess inside. _SMASH-SMASH-SMASH!_

The shaking rocks the entire ship. A helpless Terra gasps and stumbles back, plunging over the side of the vessel.

"T-Terra!" A collapsed Beast Boy struggles to his feet several meters away.

Breathless, Terra jabs a hand up and—_clank!_—clutches ahold of the dilapidated railing. She dangles…clinging. She grits her teeth. She pulls tightly on her muscles that have been building on her once-'gangly' limbs over the last few months. But just as she's starting to raise herself back onto the deck—

_Cl-Clank!_ A green haired girl drops down from a smokestack atop the frigate and stands directly over the hapless blonde. She stretches a single hand out towards the railing, and a globule of green, burning acid spits out. "Here's water up your nose, bimbo." **_SSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssss!_** The compound burns through the rail and—

"Nnnngh!—Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Sends Terra plunging, shrieking into the waves below. **_SPLOOSH!_**

"TERRA! HANG ON!" Beast Boy leaps up to his feet and prepares to dive down in dolphin mode when---

**CRKKKK-KKKK!**

Beast Boy jerks in place. "Nnngh—Wh-What?.?.?" He suddenly shivers and his breath shows up in the air as a wispy cloud. He dashes a look down at his feet. His ankles are covered in chunks of ice, anchoring him to the rusted deck. He looks up—

--in time to gaze into a pair of sad, blue eyes. The shivering blonde in blue stares at him, a snowy hand stretched out.

Beast Boy's lip stammers: "Wh-Who are you, and wh-why are you doing this?"

The girl bites her lip. "Th-They call me 'Fraust'.. … …and I-I'm sorry…" She launches a beam of pure Cold into the changeling's face. **_FLASSSSH!_**

Robin sees all this. And he snarls. He runs at full force with a fan of explosive discs at the ready. "Whoever you strangers are, you just picked the worst fight of your live—"

**_TH-THWUMP!_** A bruised, shaken Starfire suddenly lands in front of Robin. "Nnnngh.. …."

Robin gasps. "St-Star!"

"It b-burns… …," she winces, rubbing a reddened shoulder.

Robin is about to kneel beside her. "Who did this to y---?"

**_FWISSSSSH!_** A burning column of white steam billows down and solidifies in a pair of kicking feet into the Boy Wonder's chest. **_"YAAAAUGH!"_**

**WHAM!**

"OOF!" Robin slides back on two grinding feet. He winces. His eyemask narrows at the sight of two 'shoe'-shaped burn spots in the center of his tunic, melting away at his 'R' symbol. "… …Okay, pal, you just touched the two loves of my life…." _Th-Th-Thwpp!_ He twirls his bo-staff and frowns at the teleporting attacker. "You'll be lucky to see twilight tonight—" He pauses. "… … ..you've got to be kidding me."

Miist stands, fuming all over in hot steam as he performs a 'crane' position in faux martial arts. He tilts his tattooed head back, two pale eyes flaring with an accompanied grin of insane bloodlust. "So this is the famous 'Robin, Boy Wonder'…."

"… …. …pleased to do battle with you, Mister Tea Kettle."

**_FWISSSSH!_** Miist skids forward and solidifies just an inch from Robin's face. Lapping fumes burning at the Titan leader's face. "After my fellow students and I are done smoking the meat off your pathetic, hollow friendssss-snkkkt-heheheheh… …you'll think twice about cracking jokes once you're in Hell. Hehehehehsnkkkkt…"

"Yeah. Uh huh. You're dead."

**_CLANG!_** The bo-staff flies across Miist's face.

"NNNNGH! MMMMMFMMFFFFF! AAAAAUGH!" Miist screams above the sounds of spontaneous battle all around. He clutches his steaming nose with both hands. "NNNNGHHH-AAAAUGH! WHATFFFF-HAVE-YOU-DONNNEEEEFFFFNNNSKKT!"

"…. .. …," Robin stares. He waits for it—

"HA HA HA HA HA!" Miist uncovers his face, unscathed. He grins so much he drools saliva that burns back into the air as hissing steam. "Come now, bird boy! YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT!"

**_FLASH!_** **POW!** A starbolt ricochets off Miist's ragdoll head from behind. _("M'beraat clorfarker!")_

Robin grins. Robin readies a birdarang. "And into the frying pan with you…." Robin tosses it. _FWOOOSH-Fwp-Fwp-Fwp-Fwp-CLANK!_


	14. Soggybottom Blues 5

Robin back stepped as Miist blurred at him hotly, blocking his strikes with his twirling bo-staff. When he saw an opportunity, he struck at Miist's steaming legs. Miist jumped over it and slammed both of his feet into Robin's face, sending him flying to the ground.

"Heheheheh!" He cackled, his eyes wide and unstable. "Does it _hurt?_"

Robin growled as he worked his way up into a crouched position.

"You tell me!" He dove at Miist, his bo-staff reared back.

Miist smirked and turned to steam. Robin jumped through him and skidded to a stop.

"Well now. You're now a wonder at all, boy! Hahahah!"

Meanwhile, on the deck of the Soggy Bottom, Beast Boy stood across from Fraust. He looked at her, not sure what to make of her sad face.

"What do you want?"

Fraust looked down.

"I want...release."

A pair of glittering ice rapiers appeared in her hand.

**CHING!**

She spun at Beast Boy, slashing at him.

"Wh-whoa!" Beast Boy turned into a green snake, slithered through her legs and changed back. "Look! I don't want to fight you!"

"Then don't!" Fraust slashed at him again.

**TUNGGGGG!**

Static Shock slammed into the interior side of the ship and slumped down to his knees. Flaar flew in with him, waiting for him to get back up.

"Ugh...let me tell ya something, man. You've picked the wrong cat to mess with!" Static stood up and held out his fingerless gloved hands. "Get ready for a shock to your system!"

Purple electricity shot out from Static's fingertips and dance through the metal of the ship. All at once, it shot and tangled Flaar up like a shocking spiderweb.

"Augh!" Flaar clutched his eyes shut and shook. He started to smoke, but then he reopened his eyes and they were glowing green.

"Wha-?"

**Z-ZAAAAAAAAAAAF!**

Green beams shot out and hit Static in the chest, slamming his against the inside of the ship again.

"This...is getting old..."

Starfire shook her head and slowly made it to her feet.

**GURK!**

She floated away just in time to avoid the green acid that landed and sizzled in the sand.

Acyd smirked viciously at her.

"Sorry. Must be something I ate."

Cyborg had finally trudged his way out of the water. The blue of his circuitry blinked erratically.

"Nobody!" He bellowed as he plucked a tendril of seaweed off of his shoulder. "Nobody messes with my _tech!_"

Acyd didn't see his famous left hook until it was too late.

**WHAM!**

She rolled and tumbled across the sand.

Terra had finally climbed back on the ship and, soaking wet, she plopped down on the deck.

"You look tired."

Terra looked up and Polaar stood before her. Her face was blank and her gray metal cape stood out behind her.

"I'm not too tired to take care of you!" Terra jumped to her feet.

Polaar looked calmly to the left and held out her hand. A metal brace supporting a mast started to crinkled, closing in on the wooden beam.

**CRACK!**

Terra's eyes widened as the mast feel towards her.

"!" She dove out of the way, but the shock wave of the impact sent her rolling.

**WHAM!**

Robin flew over the side of the ship from Miist's uppercut. At the last second, he grasped on to the guardrail to keep from falling in the water. Miist stood over him, a satisfied look on his face.

"You know what they say. Ever bird must someday...heheheh...die!" He drew back his hand and readied a pulse of burning steam. "Ack!"

A caped figure in black jump kicked him away and landed in his place.

"_Robin, Robin, Robin..."_ Came an electronic voice behind the mask. _"Still playing the hero, I see."_

Robin grit his teeth.

"X..." He vaulted over to the deck and charged him, but he was met with a red elastic X that slammed into him and pinned him to the guardrail.

"_Since you're tied up here, I think I'll go help myself to some Xenothium. You can never have enough, you understand. Like-UH!"_

Murking, Noir slammed into his side. Red-X skidded across the deck, but then he hand vaulted up to his feet. He fell into a fighting stance across from the swordsman, but then he seemed to change his mind.

"_I don't have time to mess with you, kid."_ He turned and sprinted down into the ship.

Noir followed him.

That's when I landed on the deck of the ship. I looked at Robin, tied up against the rail.

"So...what did I miss?"


	15. Soggybottom Blues 6

For most of my life, I have dealt with a constant, onstop uneasiness. It's like a bad taste in the back of my throat. A fear… …a paranoia.. …an uncertainty. More often than naught, I am constantly assaulted with the sensation that something is always going wrong somewhere in the world and it's up to me to blur in and fix it.

_Bard tells me to lighten up. He does the big brother thing and insists that I shouldn't be so anxious all of the time._

_Which is why—for a short while today—I had managed to not let a single fearful thought concerning the Titans' whereabouts trouble me._

_Blurring down the frigate deck after the dashing feet of a black-caped, skull face intruder.. …._

_Well… …_

_I feel fate shouting 'I told you so' straight in my ear. If I'm to do anything right now, perhaps it will at least be to show the Titans that I mean business._

_Truly. I mean business about this whole 'teamwork' thing._

_Truly._

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

_Fw-Fw-Fw-Fw-Fwoosh!_ I blur and blur and blur down the rusted metal deck of the ship. Far towards the bow and away from the thundering fight between the Titans and.. …and… …and—

_Who were those creeps anyway? They had superpowers and bloodlust—I thought all of the nasty meta-thugs who called themselves the Titan's 'enemies' were in prison after the whole Brotherhood Fiasco._

_I guess I was wrong. And here Bard, Static and I are.. .. ..stuck in what's probably going to be an apocalyptic conflict by our standards but a leisurely walk in the park by the Titan's. I wonder if we're going to nearly lose the world again or something?_

_Yeesh.. …talk about 'rookie experience'._

Anyways—Who is this bozo in black?--And red?

**_FW-FWOOOSH!_** He leaps up into the air and suddenly 'fizzes' out in a blur of optic madness. Disappearing.

I gasp. I skid to a stop on murking feet, Myrkblade held at ready. I look around. "… .. …" I glance towards the waves. The rusted lengths of the ship. The portholes… . … "… .. …" I raise the shades Bard bought me off my naked eyes and glance around for an unhindered look--

_ZZzzt!_ TH-THWP! A black figure appears overhead, swinging two feet down from where he clings to an overhead pipe—

**_WHAM!.!.!_**

I spit a bloody breath up into the air before flipping back from the massive blow and landing like a broken ragdoll across the metal deck of the ship. **_CL-CLANG!.!.!_** I shudder all over as I hear a pair of footsteps and an electronic vibration of a voice announce his victory speech:

"_Hey, don't blame yourself for having your ass handed to ya, kid,"_ the skull-masked mysterioso salutes with a black glove. _"You're new to Robin's ragtag nest of half-boiled eggs, and unfortunately for you this is the week of training when **I**_ _am in town. So don't expect a perfect grade."_ He twirls about with a spin of his cape and sprints down the deck. _"So long, fart face!"_

I groan internally. I turn over. I shake my weary, frazzled head. I rub a fresh bruise and push my bangs back—only to gasp.. ….

My new shades.. .. …Bard's gift.. …

They lie in pieces against the wall. Shattered by that Skull'd rogue's fiendish boots.

I've tried being really 'nice' since we joined the Titans. I tried to play my part and stay in my place. I tried doing what I was told and as orderly as possible.

But right now—judging by the shape of my fists—I want nothing more to see how easily breakable that guy's mask really is….

Why that.. …that….that… .. …**STUPID HEAD!**

**_CHIII-IIIIIING!_** I drag Mrykblade up from the rusted floor with a shower of hot sparks as—snarling—I blur after his faint trail and teleport my way through a cracked doorframe leading into the ship's cabins… ….

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

**_ZAAAAP! Z-ZAAAAAP!_** Cyborg fires volley after volley of sonic blasts into the air. He grits his teeth and snarls, concentrating further with each launch.

**ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! Z-ZAAAAP!**

His target is an elusive Polaar, and she is darting back and forth through the air with a swift ease and grace of her twirling grey capes that surprises even Cyborg. She pauses and flexes a hand in the air. **_VROMMMMM!.!.!.!_** A metallic ring fills the air as shrapnel from a shattered fishboat and other random filaments of dust soar up into the space just above her wrist and sails down at the android Titan at her command. **_FWOOOOOSH!_**

Cyborg sweatdrops. "Hoboy….."

At the last second, a growling Starfire suddenly flies into Cyborg's path and launches a charged beam of fiery starbolts at the plummeting projectile. "**YAAAAAH!"**

**FLASSSSSH!**

The metal dust shatters as spits of alien flame pierce through and pelt the gray magneticette all over.

"Nnnngh!" Polaar folds her cape around herself and flinches from the miniature starbolts.

Starfire takes off into the air to ram into her when---

"HAUGH!" Acyd leaps down from an upper tier of a frigate like a ballet dancer from Hell and slams her dropkicking feet into Starfire's chest.

**WHAM!**

"OOOF!" Starfire collapses into a rusted crater.

_Th-Thwp!_ Acyd lands in a squat.

"Hey!" Cyborg cackles and aims his sonic cannon straight at her. _Klak-Klakka!_ "Go back to the cesspool, boogerhead!"

Acyd simply flicks a wrist at the robo-Titan and **melts** off his cannon-arm with a splash of hydrochloric concentrate.

"YO!" Cyborg grimaces and looks at his steaming stub. "That's the third limb this month—_OOOF!"_

Acyd has kicked him in the chest and sent him plummeting into a stack of crates. She ruthlessly hisses. "If a girl wants a hand at dance, she'll _ask_ for it." She grins, her red-orange arteries throbbing as she reaches poisonous hands down and clutches Starfire by the throat. "And now…. …." _YANK!_ She hoists the helpless Tamaranian up towards her face…and licks her lip. "What say we find out what's underneath that pretty face of yours?"

Starfire shudders: "But I have nothing to hide under m-my cranial exterio---"

**_BLRRRRRKKKKK!.!.!.!_** Acyd opens her mouth wide and vomits all over the alien princess' face in corrosive globlets of steaming, green slop. She chuckles and cackles breathily as the Tamaranian twitches beneath her, her entire face steaming…steaming…then—"H-Huh?" Acyd suddenly does a double-take.

_Sllllll-Slllllppp!_ Starfire quite literally licks and laps up every dribbling glob of the green stuff and **_swallows_**. (Gulp!) "Mmmmmm!" She smiles wide with her eyes pleasantly shut. "Hee hee heeeee! Quite exquisitely akin to fresh southern glorkaberries back home!"

"…. … …," Acyd blinks. "… ….okay, girl, that was pretty damn gross---"

**_POWWW!.!.!_** A burst of electricity and shrapnel marks the explosive exit through the nearby wall of Static and Flaar. The battling electrokinetick and amber-skinned fiend soar straight out over the waves, wrestling and surging energy at each other.

In the meantime, Terra scoots back along the deck, wrestling for control of bits and pieces of her rock platform that she had summoned earlier. She struggles to form a solid wall of earth just in time to block—

**_FLAAAAA-AAAAAAAASSSH!_** Too late. A blue beam of cold agony sails into her and glues her to the rusted deck with sharp icicles.

CRRRKKKK!

"Nnnghh-Augh!" Terra winces, struggling. Hissing as she weakly watches the femme in blue slide up.

"You must not r-resist.. ….," Fraust trembles in spite of herself. Vapor limps out of her lifeless lips: "The sooner you are frozen, the sooner the pain of this c-confrontation will be over… …"

A flame spouts in Terra's eyes. She growls: "I will _not_.. .. …be **frozen**… ….**AGAIN!**"

Fraust says nothing. She merely readies a huge chunk of paralyzing ice—

"NNNNNGH!" Terra clenches her fists. Her eyes pulse a hot gold as—_Fw-Fw-Fw-Fw-Fwooosh!_—A dust collected from soil samples within a quarter-mile-radius impossibly flies around her and solidifies into a levitating spear that pries her out of the ice trap—_CRACK!_—and 'flips' into the earth maiden's grip just in time for her to jump up and launch the projectile like a stone javelin. "HAUGH!"

Fwisssssssh!

Fraust converts her ice chunk into a huge, blue shield—**_CLANG!_** The rock spear bounces off. She lets out a cry and then flings the entire ice wall forward. **_FWOOOOSH!_**

Terra gasps and flinches at the last second---**_POWWW!_** A wave of black telekinesis suddenly bursts through the flying ice and explodes, knocking Fraust back on her frail side. "Aaaugh!"

Terra pants, glances aside, and sees a perturbed Raven limping up to her feet. "Nap time is over.. ….," she drones. "Time for someone to die—"

"_Gang way! AH HA HA HA HA!.!.!"_ Raven and Terra are knocked off their feet as a wispy white human form soars down the rusted deck and between them. On hot feet of cloudy speed, the surging Miist shoves a green rhino ridiculously fast down the straightaway and tosses the changeling into a pile of old, abandoned cargo. **_CRUNNNCH!_** "Next time, don't choose an endangered species, ya green prick!"

"Prick **this**, you maniac!"

Miist turns around. "H-Huh?" He grins. "Oh, Hello again, Robin—"

**WH-WHAMMMM!**

Miist spits blood from the impact of Robin's steel-toed drop-kick.

The Boy Wonder lands nimbly and flings two birdarangs out towards Miist.

"Nnngh-HAAAA!" The psychopath cackles and teleports twenty feet in a blinking blur of white—effectively dodging the projectiles. "You couldn't hit the broad side of John Goodman's prostate, ya wuss! Ahahahaha!"

Robin merely leans a chin on his hand in nearly _girlish_ fashion. "Who said **_I_** had to?"

Miist blinks. "H-Huh---"

**_WH-WHAMMMM!_** A southern fist-full-of brass knuckles slams into Miist's cheek. The elemental terrorist goes spinning three times from the impact—only to stop when the entrapping Bard follows through with a hard knee to the gut. _WHUMP!_

"OOOF!" Miist tumbles to his knees and clutches himself as if in royal pain. Wheezing….

"Look, fella. For a walking fart, it's high time somewhat lit ya."

"A-And who are you supposed to be…?" Miist hisses. "Howdy Doody?"

Bard gets into a 'draw(!)' position. "The name's Bard, ya sperm-headed little—OOF!"

**_FWOOOOSH!_** Miist has just teleported a short three feet—just enough to solidify right behind Bard with his arms entangling the Cowboy and locking him into a burning hold from behind. He exhales hotly into his body while he froths a steamy essence down his limbs, torturously scalding the new Titan through his clothes all over. _Ssssssssssss!_

"Nnngh…rrrrrkk!" Bard grits his teeth and struggles through the heat…Sweating…Heaving…

"Hckkkk!" Miist clutches Bard closer and spits into his ear. "What kind of a fruity name is 'Bard' for the Titan's new, sacrificial lamb?"

"You're.. …pickin' a fight.. .. …with the wr-wrong cowboy, Aerosol!"

Miist seethes against the back of Bard's neck, burning…. "I've killed two hundred people and tortured two dozen in my lifetime of service to H.I.V.E.! Just what have you done with your legacccccy?"

Bard takes a brave breath and half-sings/half-hums: _"I was country when country wasn't cool."_ His eyes magically flicker a wintry blue. A wave of snow and miniature blizzard winds emanate from his empty guitar fingers and---

"Auuu-AAAAUGH!" Miist screams as the froths of frost blanket him from behind and—_CHIIING!_ He's a metahuman Popsicle.

"Ahem… …enough said.. …or sung," Bard mutters. He disentangles himself from the mannequin Miist's arms and shrugs his shoulders—

The frozen Miist falls back. **_SHATTTERRR!.!.!_** The terrorist student collapses into a dozen pieces.

"…. …. ….," Bard stares at his work. "… …. ….eh, he'll regenerate." He adjusts his poncho and turns to Robin. "Like we were saying—"

"Get on the move, Bard!" the Boy Wonder shouts and motions along with him as he charges towards the stern. "Cyborg's down for the count and both Starfire and Static are needing our help—"

"Wait wait wait! Hold your horses!" Bard waves his hands."

"**What?"**

Bard points towards the bow. "Just what's up with that Zorro wannabe that Noir's chasin' after?"

It is the first time in his Titan 'career' that Bard sees it, but Robin almost shows a hint of embarrassment. He bites his lip for the briefest of seconds but soon cuts it short with a curt: "Follow me, and I'll tell you."

"Heh…I like you, boss man," Bard clutches his brass knuckles and jogs after the Boy Wonder. "Kick ass and talk a storm."


	16. Soggybottom Blues 7

I followed Robin down the gangplank.

"So who's the guy in the spiffy suit?"

Robin looked around, assessing the situation.

"I don't know. But the suit itself..."

I waited.

"I created it."

"Say what?"

"I created it." Robin went on. "And I named it Red-X. Whoever is in that suit is extremely dangerous."

I looked over my shoulder.

"...Noir.."

I turned on my heel and ran back up the gangplank to the ship. But when I reached the door that led down inside the ship, my path was blocked.

"I'm r-ready to finish this..."

The girl's appearance took me by surprise. Beneath her short blonde hair blue eyes, her skin was sickly pale, covered with icy blue splotches that looked like an oddly beautiful disease.

I shook my head and cut my hand through the air.

"I don't have time for this!"

"All we have...is t-time."

She slashed at me with her frozen rapiers. I timed it just right and punched both of them with my metal knuckles. The force of the attack sent her sliding across the deck, along with her weapons. That taken care of, I turned and reached for the valve of the door leading down.

**CHIINGG!**

I jumped back as the door was suddenly encased in gleaming ice.

**WHAM!**

I hit the ground hard from the girl's flying kick. She picked up her swords as I made it to my feet.

"I s-said we finish this. Either I will kill you...o-or you will kill me."

I stared at her.

"Girl, I don't want to kill you."

"Then die!"

She sprinted at me.

I turned, unhooked my poncho and tossed it at her like some unorthodox bullfighter. She stopped immediately, blinding trying to throw it off.

I formed a fireball in my hand, ready to end it. But yet...

I couldn't. The flames dissipated from my hand and reared back a fist full of metal instead.

**CLANK!**

The poncho fell to the deck and she blocked by criss-crossing her swords. She spun and slashed at me.

**SLLINKKT!**

I stumbled back and felt the shallow cut across my chest.

"Your blood is s-so warm!"

She chucked her sword at me end over end. I ducked the first one, but I saw the second flying at me too late. I clenched my eyes shut-

"...?"

I reopened my eyes to see the sword point right in front of my nose, covered in black telekinesis. Raven floated just behind me, her eyes glowing gray in the darkness of her hood.

"You're too reckless." She told me.

Released, the sword clattered to the ground as Raven slowly descended to land gracefully on the deck. Together, we faced off against the icy villain.

"It's useless, Fraust." Raven said to her. "Your allies are falling one by one."

"T-then let me fall with them." She conjured up another pair of ice sword

**CL-CLANG!**

I blocked the sword directed at me with my metal knuckle and Raven blocked with a wave of solid black. I arced a powerful right hook at Fraust, but she ducked and I stumbled away unevenly.

"Bard!" Raven said, even as she blocked another sword strike. "Keep control of yourself!"

I ignored her and charged at Fraust's back. She feinted at Raven to drive her back and thrust blindly behind her at me. I had no choice but to frantically slide under it like a baseball player headed for home. I hit the guardrail and nearly toppled over it into the ocean.

"Bard, focus!"

I took in a deep breath and held out my hand. A staff of licking red flames materialized. I held out my free hand to Fraust, telling her to come get some.

"Raugh!" She slashed at Raven, forcing her to levitate away. Then she charged at me with her swords high over her head.

**PH-PHOMB!**

I held out my staff of fire horizontally and caught both of her overhand swipes. The fire of my staff ate through the ice of her swords and she stumbled forward unbalanced.

**WHAP!**

I brought up my knee and hit her just between the eyes. She fell back first to the deck. When she tried to get up, she found my flaming staff pointed at the hollow of her throat. She looked surprised, but then her haunting blue eyes looked oddly satisfied.

"You've b-beat me. Do it."

I didn't move.

"D-do it! Kill me!"

"..." I hummed under my breath and my flame staff disappeared.

This seemed to piss Fraust off.

"Rrraugh!"

She lunged at me like a bobcat. The two of us stumbled back, flipped over the railing and fell into the water.

**SP-SPLASH!**

I gasped for breath as I resurfaced. I swam over and picked up my waterlogged hat from where it was floating a few feet away. I had already grabbed onto the dock when I realized-

"Fraust! Where is she?"

Raven was already ahead of me. Her eyes glowed gray and she lifted Fraust out of the water...along with the huge block of ice surrounding her.

I stared.

"Is she...gonna be okay."

Raven put Fraust down on the bank, nodding tiredly from the effort.

"I think she will be."

"Huh..." I wrung out my hat and plopped back on my head. "Reckon I put two bad guys on ice today, then!"

Raven rolled her eyes.


	17. Soggybottom Blues 8

Yards away on the rusted frigate…

Starfire floats up to gather a better view of the chaotic fight.

She spots Fraust frozen. Miist frozen--…..in _pieces_. Acyd entangled in a furious bout with Robin and Terra. Cyborg stumbling one-armed to his feet and Beast Boy clamoring out of the water.

"… .. …," Starfire blinks. "Where is our friend, Static—"

_FWOOOOOSH_ Static is flung through the air, ricocheting off against the Tamaranian's shoulder. **_WHAP!_** "OOOF!" He goes plunging across the top hull of the vessel. Starfire is unaffected, until—

"YOU! Hold it right there!"

Starfire twirls around, her alien eyebrows raised. She widens her eyes.

Across from her floats Flaar in all his seething fury. His muscles are sheen with sweat as he writhes in a petite bottle of hatred in mid-air. A pair of green eyes narrows as he raises two glowing fists up at the princess. "My team isn't about to get thrashed by a bunch of uptight losers like you! This ends NOW!"

Starfire responds with a trademark frown: "You are not a noble warrior who attacks from the shadows! This affair over the Xenothium is not yours to invade upon!" She aims a pair of starbolt-charged wrists…

"It's not the Xenothium that matters," he also aims glowing wrists. "Neither do you—"

"If you are so brave, then perform the first move attack, Chlorbag!"

"You first, you skanky---"

**FL-FLASH!**

Both floating combatants gasp. Touched. A pulsing between them.. ….like a timed, emerald charge has surged between them. Starfire's jaw drops, and Flaar seems no less shocked. But Starfire squints her eyes and sees_—closely, for the first time_—his lithe, warrior body. His amber skin. The green eyes. The red braids. The two splotches against his forehead where eyebrows had been butchered away. _Eyebrows… …_

"X'Hal… …," Starfire exhales with a breath she forgets she has. ".. ….wh-who are you?"

"… … …," Flaar blinks confusedly at her for a few seconds. But before he can respond---

**_FWOOOOSH!-CLANGGG!_** A metal pylon sails into Starfire's body and plunges her seaward. "AACK!"

A climbing, soggy Beast Boy looks up only to be pummeled with Starfire's ragdoll form at the last second. _THWUMP!_ Both go plunging into the salt water. **_SPLOOSH!_**

Flaar glances down, hyperventilating for some sudden reason. He glances at his wrists… ..pulsing green with heat. He gulps. He looks up at the distant, hovering Polaar.

"… … …," the gray-haired maiden calmly has her hand outstretched, discarding the pylon from long distance. She adjusts her flailing cape in the wind—

"'EY! HEY YOU!"

"… .. …?" She boredly looks down.

Static is hobbling up to his feet, clutching his side. He squints up at her, teeth gritting. "Nobody smacks Starfire like that and hovers away with it!"

"Please….," Polaar drones. "You were a waste of Flaar's time. Do not be a waste of mine."

**_ZZZZT!_** Static raises a pair of sparkling fists. "Let's see if my fists here give half as much a flying whoop about you than I do!"

"… … ..very well then," the metal-specked girl aims her steel-band'd wrists down at him. "Try me."

"Here comes a triple-layered frosted 'try' with a cherry on top, ya dry-battery-bitch!" **_ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT-TTTT-TTT!.!.!.!_** Static fountains forth a bright-blue web of dancing electricity towards the magnetic maiden.

"Nnnnngh!" She struggles, hovering shakily upwards and doing her awkward best to absorb the fields of relentless, electrical punishment.

Static hovers up on a floating sea anchor and levitates towards her, adding thicker and thicker punishment like a Sith Lord. "NOW WHO'S IN WHOSE ELECTROMAGNETIC HOOD, HUH?.?.?"

_**FLAAAAAAAAASH!**_

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Meanwhile….

Deep within the depths of the Soggy Bottom….

Thin cracks to the outside world cast scattered sunlight across the shadowy cabins of the rusted frigate.

A vibrating sensation…an echo.. …then footsteps—

_THWOOOSH!_ Red X leaps out of a hallway, lands two feet onto the opposite hand railings of a flight of stairs, and athletically slides down before leaping off at the end, flipping, and landing on the floor in a crouch.

"… … …_Mmm….. …Cake walk.. …."_

He stands up, tosses a length of his cape behind him, and goes into a full sprint down the open space of the cabin. He reaches a valved door that's tightly shut. **_CHIIING!_** He produces a red star in his hand and slices clean through the stalk of the valve. **_SLIIIINK!_** He then kicks the door clear off its hinges. **_CL-CLANG!_** He marches through into an even larger chamber. Dim, flickering electric lights glint off the pale contours of his skull-like mask.

He stands at one end of the room. He looks left…then right. Then echoes forth in an electronic sarcasm: _"Hellllllllllo? Xenothiummmmmm?"_

Crickets.. ….

"Heh.. …And I thought it was lame enough upstairs where the Teen Tragics are doing exercise… …."

He shuffles forward with the agile sneak-feet of a crook. His masked face twists and pivots all around, eyeing every contour of the place. He turns around once, and flexes his impatient fingers.

"I know you're around here somewhere. Come to dadddddddy.. …. …I didn't come all this way just to—"

He freezes.

"… … …"

He glances slowly, ever so slowly behind his back.

"…. … …"

A breath. He shrugs his caped shoulders.

"Heh.. ….Figures. I've been sneaking into far too many Omega Level Security Hovels." He chuckles electronically and shuffles forward once more. "Oh, how I miss the old days---"

**FWOOOOSH-SMACK!** A wooden sword slams across his rattling skull.

"DAMMIT!" He falls back on his ungraceful butt. WHUMP "I KN-KNEW IT."

F-FWOOOSH! I materialize in a descending column of smoke ahead of him.

How do **you** like it, Skeletor?

Bare-eyed, I take a breath, twirl Myrkblade, and cover it from hilt-to-tip in vicious serration. SLASH-SLASH-SLASH! I charge him, swinging wildly.

He ducks, swipes at my feet with his leg, makes me stumble, reverse-somersaults, and hops up to his feet with a red star held in one hand. "Heh, look at you kid. If I knew better, I'd say you almost look pissed—"

**WHACK!** A blurred karate kick uppercuts him, forming a crack in his masked skull-chin. Crkkk!

"Augh!" He stumbles back—

SLIIINK! SLIIINK! I graze both of his shoulders with vicious sword jabs and spin a snarling three-sixty with the length of Myrkblade fully stretched out—**THWACKKK!**

The baseball blow sends him spinning three times as myself.

I skid to a stand-still, take a fuming breath, and rush towards him.

He steadies himself at the last second, breathlessly lunges both hands forward, and opens portals in his gloved palms—"HAAA!" **SP-SPLORCH!**

Holy snot! I grimace and try to skid to a stop—

**SPLUT!** A red puddle of energy ribbons circle around me. My arms and sword are bound to my body, and I wheeze desperately for breath.

"You're fast, kid…" Chiiing! He produces two razor-sharp X's. "Let's see how fast you ascend to that big, Golden Smokestack in the Sky…." That said: Thwoooosh!—Thwp-Thwp-Thwp-Thwp! He throws the two, spinning projectiles at my bound position.

The spinning red-X's twirl in the reflection of my two bulbous eyes.. ….until the very same optics froth forth with black murk. I hold my breath, concentrate, and—

**SPLORRRRRCH!** The two stars rip straight through the crimson binding.

FWOOOOSH! I solidify several feet away from a last-second teleport. Crouching, panting, I look over my shoulder.

SPLORCH! The two stars rip out the other side of the redness, twirl about, and sail straight at me like homing devices.

I gulp. Chun-Li Almighty…. ..

"Looks like my two little friends want to play, kid. Be a good rookie and humor them, huh?"

I gnash my teeth, face forward ahead of me, and charge into action—Fwooosh!-Fwoosh!-Fwoosh!-Fwoosh! I smoke my way around the length of the room.

SW-SW-SW-SW-SWISSSSSH! The slicing red stars eat at my feet. Inching closer and closer with each lightning-fast acceleration…

I hold my breath. I perform a smoking leap. I make contact with the rusted wall and literally run sideways along the circumference of the dark cabin. Moving as fast as the dark fabric of the Spectrum can afford me.

FW-FW-FW-FW-FWOOOOSH!

The spinning stars heatedly close in on me. Their spinning X-edges eat sparkingly into the rusted wall behind my heels. Crkkk-kkk-kkkkttt!

I sweat. I pant. I dart my smoking head to the side—and nearly bite my tongue—

Screw it.

FWOOOSH! I leap out into the naked air and jab Myrkblade straight up—

**CLANK!** The blade's tip sticks into the ceiling. I dangle from the hilt.

SWISSSSSSSSSSH! The stars close in.

Hanging by one hand, I twist my thin body at an impossible, contorted angle just in time for---

**SWOOOOSH!** The blades skim past me in dual insanity.

I dangle loosely, panting….exhaling with relief----

"Heh heh heh!"

"…. .. ….?" What is he laughing about now---….oh snap.

SWOOOOOOSH-SWISH-SWISH-SWISSSSH! The boomeranging red-X's twirl, come about, and spin straight towards me once more.

I bite my lip, yank my lower body up, and just as the spinning stars are about to kiss my face—

CRKKK! Myrkblade pops free from the ceiling with a smokey burst.

**FWOOOOOOSH!** In slow motion I feel myself flipping down from the ceiling in a head-over-heels twirl. Once upside down, I contort my body once more like a dying swan and—

TH**-THWISSSSSH!** Again the two stars barely miss me.

**FWUMP!** I land in a full-bodied squat along the ground, drenched with sweat and trembles… ..

CL-CLUNK! The two stars embed into the ground on either side of the caped rogue's calmly placed feet. Clap-Clap-Clap-Clap. He applauds with gloved hands and gives me a thumb's up: "Nice circus act, rookie," He waves me off flippantly as he turns and runs towards a tall metal ladder leading towards an escape hatch. "Now be a good monkey and go clean the invisible elephant cage, cuz da X has got to go."

I sneer.

Not so fast you.. …you….

Rrrrrrgh-**YOU**!

**FWOOOOOOSH!** I'm explosively blurring towards him from way across the cabin. I must be going far faster than he imagines I'm capable of, for he takes no notice of me as I reach the base of the ladder and shoot a smoking hand up towards—

GRIP!

"GRRRRRK!" He twitches and winces all over.

I blink. For I have accidentally clutched a palm-full of his black-suited crotch.

"… … …" No matter…

With a mute grunt, I **yank** straight down.

**CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG!** Red X's chin ricochets down a full flight of metal ladder rungs as he plummets—

--and collapses into my arms. No sooner, I fall back and kick my nimble legs up. Rrrrgh!

**FWOOOOOSH!** I launch him. He goes flailing back across the cabin and slams straight into one of the flickering light fixtures. CRASSSSH! **Zzzzzzt!** Glass and sparks fly. The lights go out. And he falls limply into a pocket of pure darkness.

I jump to my feet.

I pant… …pant….pant….

Staring.

… … …

**CHIIING! CH-CHIIIING!** Two menacing, glowing-red blades appear in the pitch black of the cabin's far side.

I sweatdrop….trembling helplessly—

One step. Two steps. He marches towards me with his pale mask tilted menacingly forward. "Okay, bucko. THAT… …was the invitation to dance with the devil." **TH-THWOOOOSH!** He twirls his serrated scarlets into a deadly, 'praying-mantis' pose. Standing on one boot. "You're a quiet one. Wanna at least tell me your name before I silence you forever? I like to carve the initials of my victims in their buttcheeks after I've slaughtered them."

"… … …" I gulp. Regardless, I twirl Myrkblade—Thwish-Thwish—And hold it at ready. Facing against him.

This may be it….

My first real 'duel' for the Titan's sake….

Couldn't have picked a worse nemesis….

Oy, Noir…

Keep it together, Keep it together…

His eyeslits narrow, even paler than his 'skull'. "I don't know whether you're brave.. …or stupid." He tilts his mask to the side. "That black stuff.. …all of it comin' out of you.. …." He pauses. "… …there's something I can't quite put my finger on. Like… …Like it's my own suit when I'm fully juiced up."

I blink blackly at him.

The Hell is Stupid Head talking about---?

**ZAAAAAAA-AAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAP!.!.!.!** A bright, red beam from out of nowhere sails in and practically fries me.

AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!

I wince with a mute scream. I writhe all over. My insides are on my fire. My nerves--….Neurons exploding into each other in a bloodcurdling wail---

THWUMP! I fall to the ground, smoking—but not from the Spectrum.

"… .. …," Red X scratches his 'head' with one of his blades. "… … …Huh.. …."

"Eh hehheheheheh…. …Don't be surprised, my bad boy," a hissing voice cackles from the shadows. A dim light brightens and reveals Professor Chang walking up with a brightly-glowing laser rifle in his grasp. "This has been a.. … ..'surprise' occasion from the start. But rest assured, this trap was not sprung for that measly Titan who lies dormant before you.. …."

"Professor Chang… …," X glances over at him and hides his blades away in the folds of his cape. He performs a mock salute. "I could have sworn that the dorsal-fin business made your kind extinct."

"Jocular to the last…," Chang grins a fishy grin. "I knew this day would come. Ehehehehe….the Prodigal Son returns.. …"

"Dramatics aside, gramps…," X shrugs. "I'm here for one reason—No. Make it two."

"Oh? Is that so?"

**CHIIIING!** A fan of red daggers glow in the dusty shadows of the frigate. X's eyeslits narrow. "…. …we've got a lot to talk about."


	18. Soggybottom Blues Finale

Noir lay face first on the floor, shuddering and smoking. Myrkblade lay meek and quiet a few feet away from him, as unreachable as the moon.

Red-X crouched into a ready position and produced a myriad of red daggers. His eye slits narrowed dangerously.

"...we've got a lot to talk about, then."

Chang let out a dusty laugh.

"How you underestimate me! Your brawn may be strong, but your wit is weak! I have already outsmarted you!"

"How is that, gramps?"

"It's simple, really. In this poker game of heroes and villains, you must never show your hand and have a wild card...and know when to play it. The Titans even have their own wild card...though they chose to play it too soon." He pointed at Noir's down figure. "You, however, are even more of a dolt. You have no wild card at all!"

Red-X stood suspiciously.

"And you do?"

"Hehehehe! Behold!" He held out his arms like some hellish magician.

**ZHHHHTTTT!**

With a flash of white light, a teenage girl appeared between Chang and Red-X. The dark-haired girl wore an open robe that fit her more like a cape and a strip of tight purple barely covered her chest and left her midriff bare. A purple, sweeping loincloth fell between her legs from her heavy belt, showing off her smooth legs and calf-high boots.

"Hmm..." Red-X said. "Who is this sexy little lady?"

"My name is Zillah." She said through sultry lips. "Got it memorized?"

**ZHHHTTT!**

She disappeared in midair.

Red-X turned around quickly, scanning the area.

**ZHHHHT!**

Zillah reappeared and grabbed him from behind.

That's what Chang had been waiting for. He hefted the large blaster he had used on Noir.

**ZAAPPPPPP!**

"Ughhh...!" Red-X crumpled to the ground.

Chang smiled, showing his misshapen teeth.

"Booker's going to have fun with you, young man." He cackled.

Flaar burst through the cabin door, panting and sweating.

"Ch-Chang! They're outnumbering us!" He heaved for breath. "They'll be here any minut-!"

**ZZAAAPAPZPAP!**

Polaar ragdolled into the room, sparking. Static, on his metal disc, floating in the doorway.

"Now that was a shocking entrance, don't you think?" The purple-coated Titan grinned and moved to the side just in time for-

**TH-TH-THUMP!**

The inert bodies of Miist, Acyd and Fraust slid into the room. Behind them, most of them wet, the Teen Titans gather just inside the door.

"It's over, Chang!" Robin pointed at the lead. "Give it up!"

I ran forward and knelt beside Noir.

"Noir...you okay man?"

Noir slowly sat up and gave me a thumbs up.

I looked up across the room and a pair of light blue eyes met my own.

"Zillah." Chang said. "It's time for us to leave."

Her eyes never moved.

**ZHHHHTTTT!**

Chang, Red-X, Flaar and Zillah were gone.

"Well..." Beast Boy whistled. "That was a neat trick."

Robin's face was like a thundercloud.

"Cheer up, dude!" Beast Boy said. "We got those three, right?"

Meanwhile, Static was smiling at Cyborg.

"Mission complete. Give me a high five!"

Cyborg shifted his armless shoulder.

"I hate you."

I finally came back to my senses and looked back at Noir who had climbed to his feet.

"C'mon," I nodded my head. "Let's get out of Dodge."


	19. Sapped

"We captured three subjects. Meta-Humans. Apparently in league with more than just Professor Chang himself," Robin explains as he stands at the dockside with arms folded. "The Special Containment Forces from the Jump City Penitentiary are presently transporting them to temporary confinement. I suggested they keep an eye on all of them, especially the electromagnetic girl and the steam-elemental." A sigh. Robin runs a hand through his spiked hair and further dictates over the sound of nearby, squawking police scanners. "There was also a heaping helping of Xenothium found within the hull of the Soggy Bo—erm… …from the frigate. The suspects left it unguarded, and already Cyborg's pretty certain that it belongs to the crystalline specimens stolen from the museum exhibit by those criminals last night. Apparently the material was of no interest to them in the end. Which—well—is a good thing, because Xenothium is ONLY dangerous in the wrong hands."

"Right, but you let that Asian Frogman Chang escape, didn't ya?" Detective Decker gripes between cigarette puffs before his squad car as investigators scour the dockside in the sunset'd evening. "How am I gonna explain that to the higher-ups in this Donut Pyramid?"

"Yo, man… ..," Static steps forward by Robin's side. "Didn't you hear Robin? We clubbed these seals good! A huge chunk of Xenothium was recovered—a whole district of Jump City potentially saved and all you can do is complain about—"

"Chang is climbing higher on our most wanted list faster than you can count your balls," Decker mutters. A puff. An exhale. A smoky sigh. "You may pull many fancy tricks out of your hat in the name of justice, but in the end it's the big prize that we're all dogging ourselves for. The rest of the fish, you can just toss back overboard."

"Face it, detective bath sponge!" Static frowns with a pointing finger: "You just don't have faith in Superheroes! Do you--?"

"Virgil, please," Robin holds a gloved hand up. "Let me handle this—"

"NNNGH—How many times do I have to tell you---?

"Virgil?.?.?" Decker almost swallows his cigarette. The unkempt detective leans forward with a raised eyebrow. "You mean to tell me, kid, that your name is Virgil?"

Static frowns. "They call me '**Mister Shock'!"**

"Okay—We're not making any headway here…," Robin groans.

"I'd say. Chang's nowhere to be clobbered. But hey—You know how this City works," Decker shrugs. "An evil encore is always around the corner. I guess it keeps you awake for the marathon." He glances over his shoulder at the rest of the investigation site. "Ain't that right, Walker---DAMMIT! Walker, get the Hell off the phone with that ditzy daughter of yours!"

"Why don't you go take a flying—"

"AHEM," Robin adjusts his cape, swivels, and marches off. "Let me…erm.. ….make sure no clues were left behind… …"

"Yeah, whatever."

Static fumes for a second, lets it go, and wanders off himself.

It is then that I notice Starfire in the far background beyond the meeting. The setting sun casts a golden glow off her already-honey-baked skin. There is a hauntingly numb expression on her face. As if she has been burned by something.. …someone… …some place. She hugs herself tenderly… …and for the first time since I first ever observed her, she does not so much as glance up at Robin when the Boy Wonder wanders by. Instead, she limply floats up into the air and drifts away.

I take a deep breath. I lean against the roped barrier of a wooden dock and sip from my Titan canteen. I take deep breaths, trying to shake off the cobwebs from earlier. It takes a little bit of effort, but I force myself to look to my right side.

Bard stands there. In his hands are the broken remnants of the shades he had bought me earlier. He too is distracted.. .. …but I can tell it in my friend's voice moreso than his face as he quietly murmurs: "It was bound to happen. These street-bought peepers weren't made much for the field, I reckon. I'm so sorry, Noir. I'll buy you another pair. I promise you that… …"

I try to smile at him. I fall short the soonest I realize that he is not so much as smirking back at me.

"That was.. … ..a pr-pretty intense battle, do you not think so?"

I think, but I don't 'respond'.

Not anything we're not used to by now. What, with all the 'Titans Experience' has tossed our way. But I can't help but think that there's something haunting my partner---

Cl-Clak! The pieces of the shades fall to the wooden dock boards.

Bard sighs, adjusts his poncho, and walks off on his own accord. "Ya know what, Noirry? I'm gonna go on a stroll. No particular reason, just… …"

"… .. …."

"… …if ya need me, just strum a guitar or somethin'."

And now, he's gone.

I bite my lip. I look once again across the sunset'd scene.

I see Terra. She too is looking as despondent as Starfire. As Bard. Only, she's picking at a few remaining flecks of frost and ice off her black t-shirt and gloves. She seems to be having a great deal of difficulty about it. But all she does is sigh more and more until her eyes become puffy enough to no longer handle their weight in moisture and—SWOOOOSH!—she flies away on a sudden clump of earthen sand and heads towards the Tower.

A few seconds too late, a concerned Beast Boy meerkat-scampers up and calls out towards her, but she's already gone.

I shudder helplessly.

What's **with** everyone all of the sudden?

This was an intense battle—yes—but do we all really have to be so…so…

.. … ….so sapped?

I take a deep breath and sip more of the water. A cold spill of liquid shimmies down my esophagus and forces me to momentarily tremble, and in so doing I feel the slight burns and bruises underneath my black outfit.

Chang really hurt me.

But Red X.. ….

I can't believe he was taken down so easily. That teleporter girl got the upper hand on him. Heck, she could get the upper hand on any of us. But.. …why? Who is she?

And what was Red X trying to say about me before he went bye-bye?

Chun-Li alive, I ache so much—

A cold hand on my shoulder. Cold, but strangely soothing:

Flasssssh!

I jump. I glance to the side—

Raven's hand is on my shoulder. Shimmering a bright gray for half a second, but then returning to normal. "I'm sorry if I startled you. I have the power to heal wounds.. ….at least initially."

"… .. …," I blush a little. I smile and mouth a short, sweet: 'Th-Thanks.'

"But.. …. …it takes a lot more to heal the hearts of heroes…" She looks at me… …into my heart and mind. And it is a fully knowing glance.

I stare back at her, half freaked and half amazed.

"Don't be so despondent, Noir. These teammates of yours are Titans…," she drones, pulls the robe over her head, and drifts off in her shadowy, feminine grace. ".. …we always get over 'it'."

"… … …" Huh…..

I take one last swig of the canteen.

Then that's one less thing to be worried about.. … ..or at least three less people… …

I swallow, exhale, and seal the empty canteen away.

I should start filling these things with Dr. Pepper soon…

I walk aimlessly in the direction of the setting Sun…


	20. Singing the Blues

I've never liked cities and, most probably, I never will. Jump City is no exception. But even so, I have to admit the city is beautiful under the glow of a sunset. Then again, just about _everything_ is beautiful under the glow of a sunset. And then comes the night.

Night here in the city and night in the mountains are two horses of a completely different color. Night in the mountains is soft and clean and pure. It's even a little mystical, like being in heaven with the lights turned off. Night in the city is the total opposite. It's dirty and sinister like a bane on the land as it fights with the street lights and their weak weapons of artificial yellow light that struggle to keep it at bay. But when night falls on both places, that's when the predators come out to prey on the weak.

In the mountains, that's just mother nature at work. In the city, I believe it's human nature at it's basest level. It's still wrong, however, and that's when the Teen Titans are for.

It sounds so noble when you say it like that. The Teen Titans protect the innocent citizens of the city from predators that work and strike evilly from the shadows. But when you get right down to the bare bones of the matter, at the end of the day...it's just a job. Though I reckon policemen and firemen, inarguably heroes themselves, would probably say the same thing about their own line of profession, I suspect. Still, it gives me a good feeling to be doing my to serve and protect, especially since I'd been on the wrong side of the equation in the not so distant past.

Zillah...that was her name. For some reason, I was drawn to her. But I had no idea why. Maybe it was her eyes. Her eyes reminded me of-

I stopped, stretched and actually took a moment to really look around.

I was on Main Street, the heart of Jump City. I saw a two-story pizza parlor, along with other stores and restaurants lining the street. I saw more and more people, mostly teenagers and young people, getting ready for a night out on the town.

"H-hey! Excuse me!" I young man about my own age flagged me down from behind.

I turned to him.

"Phew. Sorry to bother you and all, but do you play guitar?"

I blinked at him. How in the world did he know I played-...

Oh, right. Six-string on my back.

"Yeah, I play a little."

"Great! I need you to help me out. I'd be forever grateful to ya, man!"

My curiosity was sparked now.

"What can I do for ya?"

"You see...it's my girlfriends birthday, ya know? I'm taking her out to this real expensive restaurant and...she loves Eric Clapton to death. Could you maybe like play a song or two for her? You'd really be helping me out."

Eric Clapton really wasn't my cup of tea, but the earnestness on the boy's face persuaded me.

"Sure," I smiled. "Lead the way."

I thought he was going to positively bubble over.

"Thank you!"

I started to feel better. This city was filled with good, appreciative people. You just had to find them. Or, rather...let them find you.

TTTTTTTTTT

Cyborg muttered to himself as stomped into the lab in Titans Tower.

"Psh...high five my titanium butt. Stupid little..." He trailed off as he reached a keypad and, with his one hand, typed in a ten digit code.

The far wall spun around, revealing dozens of different parts for Cyborg's body: Hands, arms, legs and even shoulder and sonic cannon replacements. Cyborg took an arm off the rack and hit the keypad with his elbow, sending the wall back around to normal.

"Stupid magnetism. I swear, I should have skipped science class the day they taught that..."

With a huff, he sat down and went to work. He locked the arm onto his shoulder and, with his good hand, produced a finger blowtorch.

The door behind him slid open.

"Uhhh, dude." Beast Boy smacked the side of his head, trying to water out of his ears. "I'm never going swimming again."

"I'm with ya on that one, BB."

Beast Boy watched Cyborg go about reattaching his arm.

"You gonna be okay?"

Cyborg glanced at him.

"Sure thing, dawg. I've done this a million times." He paused. "Hey...is Terra all right?"

Beast Boy blinked, caught off-guard.

"Just saying," Cyborg went on. "The girl's been a little quiet lately. And she ain't quiet."

"Well..." Beast Boy rubbed the back of his neck. "She's got a lot on her mind...I-I guess..."

"Not trying to pry, man. Besides, she's got you to take care of her, right?"

"Heh...I guess." Beast Boy squared his shoulders. "No time like the present, right?"

"Heheh. Go get'er, Casanova."

His reply was a raspberry before the doors swooshed shut again.

Cyborg went back to his arm.

"...Now if I can only find Static a girlfriend, I might actually get some work done."

TTTTTTTTTT

Robin leaned over the desk cluttered with inventions, weapons, clues and newspaper clippings. He didn't see them, though, as the slits of his eye mask were narrowed and lost in thought.

_It's simple. There is good...and there is evil. There are those who commit crimes...and those who stop them. The two sides are opposite. And the line between them is clear as night and day. Or at least..._

_It's supposed to be._

The room was very dim, but not pitch dark. The walls, covered with newspaper clippings, could be seen.

'Who is Slade?'

'Mumbo Jumbo Strikes Again'

'Kitten Apprehended'

'Chang Escapes'

_There is good, and there is evil. But the line between them can be impossible to find. Does one good deed make him a hero? Am I to blame for it all because of a single mistake?_

_In the end...all I really know is that the answered don't come easy. It's supposed to be simple..._

_But it's not._

Robin shuddered and let his cape fall over him.

TTTTTTTTTT

The boy's request to play music was over, and it instilled in me a desire to play my guitar even more. But the city was starting to put a strain on me. I felt closed in by the blocky man-made mountains of concrete. So I retreated to the beach.

Besides the majestic mountains, the beach is my favorite place to be. I love the ocean...the mystery and grandeur of it. The salty smell and the sloshing sighs. It reached for the sky and never makes it. I can relate.

A short pier pointed out into the ocean like a finger of land. I walked to the end and sat down, dangling my boots over water.

Many people misunderstand what country music is all about. Or rather...what it's supposed to be in it's greatest and truest form. Country music isn't about eloquent lyrics or guitar solos or singers that never miss a note. Country music is about one thing and one thing only: Emotion. True, pure, unbridled emotion.

I sang and played my guitar then, putting my whole heart and soul in it. When I played a sad ballad, you could hear in my voice the sound of my heart breaking. And when I played an old, upbeat hymn, you could hear the joyous sound of my soul celebrating. And you could hear it...because I truly felt those things.

I am not Starfire, who's cheer is perpetual. Or Raven, who's gloom is habitual. My emotions are much more unpredictable and varied because they are a mystery even to myself. There is a great sadness inside me, a void in my soul that I somehow believe will never truly be filled. And then there is a warm joy that pulses around my heart. They are not conflicting. They are simply inside me and I recognize that.

Maybe I'm just rambling. The sea will make me do that. It sets my brain into thinking long, complicated thoughts that usually vanish before me like mist among the waves.

But I have sang and told the world how I felt. And while not a single soul heard, I was glad for the fact. It made it a much more personal experience.

I stood slowly, put my guitar on my back and walked slowly back in the direction of Titans Tower. My soul was cleansed now, and I was ready for whatever challenges awaited me.


	21. A Shadow's Secret

_There is something odd about being a super-hero… … …th-that is if I can legitimately be **called** a 'superhero'. I'm not just new to being a 'Titan', I'm new to this whole metaphysical romp across the metropolitan justice system._

_When Bard and I came to this Town, we were just trying to do our best to survive. But—I guess—somewhere down the line we became helpless saps and poured in our strengths towards protecting the innocent and stopping the 'wicked'---whatever that entails. It's no lie; he and I have powers. They may not be entirely 'super', but they have blessed/cursed us with enough responsibility to not sit idly by while the world goes to heck in a heckbasket…. …handbasket…._

_Whatever._

Right now, I am sitting 'idly'. But I like to think I earned it. Do superheroes deserve this sort of thing? I sit on an elevated apartment complex overlooking the graying skyscrapers of downtown in the evening dimness. I am relaxing---or at least trying to relax.

My hands shake as I unscrew a Dr. Pepper bottle and take a huge swig of the caffeine bladder-killer. I swallow, exhale, and lean back from where I'm petitely perched. I breathe easily… …letting time dictate nothing but the gentle drift of the wind.

_Am I the only one to get the shakes? The rest of the Titans seem well-to-do after a major skirmish. Even Cyborg with his hand melted off does 'okay' after we're done battling. I suppose he finds comfort in the fact that he has numerous 'spares' lying around in wait. I don't know if that's a thing to envy or feel repulsed at._

_And Robin, he's always cool as morning rain. Nothing could phase him. Or else, I can't imagine anything phasing him._

_But I know I'm not alone, judging from Starfire and Terra. I can't imagine it being a 'woman' thing, cuz those two girls are umpteen times more versatile than any typical bigot could downplayingly suggest. But Terra seemed about to throw up from the icy punishment the curious 'Fraust' paid her. And Starfire—she's the last person in the world I would imagine being emotionally exhausted from a villainous entanglement. What got **her** in such a funk? The way she flew off… …the grayness about her usually-pleasant face… …_

_Heck, even Bard seemed a little less well-to-do after the battle. Like he had seen a ghost. I can only hope my buddy's doing okay. I could really use his guidance in all of this. As if I haven't drained him of all the support he's had to give me so far. I would be nowhere if it weren't for him._

I bite my lip and fight away the jitteriness with another Dr. Pepper flood. I exhale. I stare out as the City starts to match the pinpricking stars popping out one at a time overhead.

_I just hope the Titans are okay. They've done so much for us and—truly—they are the last hope that Bard and I have. Well, at least the last hope **I** have. Bard is such a wonderful shoulder to lean on. But I'm not even sure he can withstand the questions I have to ask. I don't know what he would do if he finally learns the thing I've been holding back._

_I have a secret._

_I have a secret—and… .. ….I'm too scared to tell these people about it. At least yet. I don't know what they will do with me. I'm afraid that they m-might toss me into the hands of ravenous scientists at S.T.A.R. Labs who will experiment on me and dissect me open. Or I might end up under the wing of dark government agents or aliens or Russian mafia or—or—or…._

"…. ….. ….. …." I blink into the vast expanse of the City. Something comes over me. Like a bubbling euphoria/horror from the incubated Dr. Pepper puddles nestled inside of me. I nearly keel over and collapse off the apartment ledge as I hug myself and shake, shake, shake—'Laughing' the best that I can for a little mute moron with no semblance of a voice. My black eyes tear a bit as I smile painfully and run a hand through my frazzled threads.

_I worry too much. I really do. So I have a secret. So it's a wyrd one. If the last few days have been of any consolation, I'm around the most trustworthy people in the globe._

I take a deep breath. I absent-mindedly run a hand up and stroke the crescent-moon scar on my throat.

"…. ….. …"

_And I am so… …**so** lucky that I've had Bard's and the Titan's laps to fall into. Maybe they will be the ones to help me get used to this place… …this **world**…._

_The outsider that I am… …._

_I hug myself to that thought. I take a deep breath. And an even warmer thought faintly floats to mind. And my mind's eye is trained northward, towards the high-end apartments. I bite my lip, think about it, and then eventually smile._

_Heck, I'm feeling 'good' this evening after all._

_Why shouldn't I?_

_But things aren't perfect… …yet….._

_I have somebody to see… …. …Somebody special…. …._

I stand up and start to murk my body all over for the inevitable cross-city-blur. I empty the Dr. Pepper bottle. I raise it over my head to chuck into the vastness of urbanity—

"… …. …." I pause in mid-launch. "…. … …" I shake my head with a goofy grin and re-grip the Dr. Pepper bottle, no longer preparing to throw it.

_What was I thinking? I'm a **superhero** now! Bad Noir! Bad!_

**FW-FWOOOOOSH!** I smokily streak down the buildingside and rocket my way north on energized feet.


	22. Petrified

Cowboy boots aren't made for trudging through sand, I'll tell you that right now. But that doesn't make the task any less enjoyable. The sea whispers beside me, and you know how I love the sea. Besides, after my singing-fest, I felt at calm. Not exactly bubbling with happiness, but with peace with myself.

I stopped. Up ahead, a few hundred yards away from Titans Tower, is a silhouette against the full moon. Soft oceans breezes ruffle the long hair and fragile, petite body.

Terra.

Lately, she's been very different from the girl I was introduced to when first coming to Titans Tower. To me, she'd seemed the most open and...real...of all the Titans. Her face never seemed to hide anything. She hadn't constructed any walls around herself like many of the others, especially Robin and Raven, seemed to have. She'd been true and laid back and fun-loving, ready to give out a smile or a high five at any moment. She'd been the only one to be able to match Beast Boy's awkward exuberance.

But that had changed. Without meaning to, I had watched her become a totally different person. Quiet. Reserved. Melancholy. All the things the old Terra, or at least what I knew of her, was not.

I watched as Terra stood still on beach boulder, trying to squeeze out some kind of hurt. The moment was infinitely intimate and private. It felt wrong to intrude on it...but it felt like a sin not to.

I walked up and leaned against the chest-high boulder, leaving the rocky territory hers and hers alone. I propped my elbows up on it.

"You're a little late to see the sunset, darlin'."

If Terra was surprised, she didn't show it. She started to let her arms drop, but then she seemed to change her mind.

"No...I already saw it."

"Well, I missed it. Was it a good one?"

"...I dunno. I didn't really see it..." She shivered.

"Here," I said, taking off my poncho and throwing it up to her before she could object. "Wear this. It's cold."

Terra finally looked at me.

"T-thank you." She wrapped the garment around herself, making it look like a blanket around her narrow frame.

My tongue worked inside my mouth as my brain thought of something to say. I considered more small talk, slowly getting to the heart of the matter. But that seemed ingenuine, especially with Terra. I cut right to the chase.

"What's bothering you, Terra?"

Terra lowered herself to a sitting position on the rock, huddling even deeper beneath the poncho.

"I'm scared..."

When she didn't go on, I spoke up.

"We're all scared every once in a while. Folks are always scared, really. Afraid of dying. Afraid of living. Afraid of the dark. Afraid of the light...you name it." I paused. "What are you scared of, Terra?"

"I'm scared of..." She turned to me, and the trust in her eyes was as gratifying as it was surprising. "I'm scared of being frozen. Scared of being trapped in stone again."

I blinked and leaned forward slightly.

"Again?"

I'm not sure she even heard me.

"I...I betrayed them, Bard. The Teen Titans...they were so good to me and I stabbed them in the back." Her eyes teared up. "Beast Boy finally made me see, but it was too late. I still had to be punished."

I listened silently.

"My powers...they overloaded. I couldn't control them. My body turned to stone. I was trapped in a prison of my own making." She took in a deep breath. "I was like that for months before, somehow, I regained control. I still don't know how I did it."

"That's all in the past now, Terra."

She shook her head, her hair fluttering from side to side.

"No...my betrayal still haunts me. I can feel my blood solidifying. It's coming back. I'm going to be stone a-a-a-again."

She finally broke down, crying. I slid up on the boulder and hugged her, offering any comfort, if any, she could feel. After a few minutes, her shaking and sobs slowed.

"Does Beast Boy know?"

Terra nodded against my shoulder.

"Y-yeah. But I try to keep it from him as much as possible. He's been so good to me, and I don't want him to worry."

"We're not gonna let that happen to you, ya hear?"

"Y-yeah." She slowly disentangled herself from me and put my poncho in my lap. "I guess we should go back to the tower now, huh?"

I nodded.

"If you want to."

She hopped off the rock and started to walk away, but then she turned back to me.

"Thanks, Bard. Sometimes it's good to talk about our fears."

She turned away before she could see me stiffen at that. I looked down at my palms, at the black spots the fire staff I had conjured up early left behind.

_Yeah..._

I looked up and watched her leave.

_Sometimes..._


	23. The Carnation Girl

"I ain't kidding, Richie! I flew home from the docks and I could hear a little know-it-all kid in the crowd shout out: 'You rule, Shock!'"

_"Snkkkt—Ha ha ha ha ha!"_

"Yo! It ain't funny! I gotta watch for stuff like that! The next thing you know, the headlines will be calling me 'Shock' clear across Jump City!"

_"That's just so killer-sad! Having a rough time startin' anew with the Titans?"_

"I can handle myself, man," Static waves nonchalantly and leans back in the chair of the Titan's Computer. He smirks and speaks towards the distant microphone: "It's indescribably badass, Richie. I feel like I'm in the big leagues now!"

_"I haven't heard you this excited since you once fought alongside Superman."_

"I'm just surprised Robin hasn't thrown me out for all the suspicious scrapes I've had with the Bang Babies all these crazy years."

_"If he's half as smart as you tell me, he knows damn well you've been the only major force in Dakota trying to take those guys down."_

"Well, unless they want to 'bang' their way to Jump City and set up headquarters here, I'm pretty much as useful as a fourth-and-a-half wheel."

_"Awww—No kidding?"_

"Heh, I'm overexagerrating, for sure. But when you've already got Raven, Starfire, and **Robin** in the same vicinity thrashing crime for thrashing's sake, it's a little hard to show your good stuff… … ..whatever 'good stuff' you may have. And—dayum!—does Cyborg have the most awesomest shit to dish out—WHOOPS! Hey Richie, gotta split."

_"Wait! Virgil! Don't hang up! You still haven't told me what color is Raven's und—"_

**BLIP!**

At the sound of soft footsteps, Static spins and leans back casually with a wide grin. "Starrrrrr! Hey there, alien cutie! What is of the up? Hahahaha----!"

"…. … …," Starfire sighs. Starfire is looking down. Starfire wanders over to the kitchen unit of the main room and grabs a glass and a pitcher. In the shadowy aura of the darkening evening outside the windows, she positively looks like redheaded gravestone.

"… … ….," Static blinks. He lifts his goggles. _"Hmm.. ….Whatever Terra has must be contagious."_ He hops up, cracks the kinks in his spine, and shuffles over to the tired Tamaranian. "So.. …like.. ….is this the anniversary of the day X'Hal had her boob exposed during the Galactic Superbowl Halftime?"

"Dearest Virgil," Starfire murmurs in a wilted voice as she pulls herself a glass of water. "It is not right to speak so jocularly about the great Goddess X'Hal. Do not worry about my countenance. It is truly of no important matter."

"Please, don't call me Vir---" Static starts, but doesn't finish. He clenches his teeth, struggles against it, and sighs peacefully before beginning again: "I'm worried about you, Star. Ever since we got back from the big battle with Chang's Muppet Babies, you've been downer than a shower drain. What's up, girl?"

"I have said before and I shall reiterate," Starfire murmurs as she floats weightedly off with the glass of water in her grasp. "It is of no concern…."

"H-Hey.. ….," Static steps in and rests a hand on her shoulder. He smiles. "I'm not just your teammate and all that jazz. Heh, as long as we're all hangin' together, I'd like to say I'm just as easily your friend! Ya know, Star?" He smiles with his teeth showing and over-enunciates: "Friendssssssss? GLORIOUS.. ….GLORIOUS FRIENDDDDDS?"

".. … … …," Starfire's lips slightly curve and a touch of warmth lights her emerald eyes.

"THERE she is!" Static leans back with her arms folded. "I knew she couldn't hold out for long. What's cookin' sour in that purty tummy of yours, Star?"

She sighs. She clutches the cold glass in two hands and takes it to her lips to sip—but doesn't. She pauses, looking into the clear water. It seems to turn to ice in her grip. ".. …. …one of the fiends that we battled with today.. …."

Static leans forward. "… ….yeah… ….?"

"… ….one of them was Tamaranian."

Static's eyes widen ever so slightly. "Shoot, no way… …."

Starfire solemnly nods, sips, and exhales: "Most emphatically 'the way'… …. …"

"Which one? Yeesh—I sure as Hell hope it ain't the grandma-haired chick that I fried to high Hell…," he winces.

"No.. ….Not at all, Static," she touches his shoulder reassuringly and paces over to the star-touched windows. "It was the smallest of the villains. The individual whose fiery countenance equally matched his warrior's strengths in battle."

"You mean the one that got away?"

She goes on: "I… …. …I could see so much pain in his face….," she stares past her reflection in the window and rubs an amber thumb across the cold condensation of the glass in her grasp. "… …as if someone or something tried to carve his expression out of a mound of pain and left behind the butchered scars of hatred… …And there is nothing righteous in that."

"Poetic, Star," Static walks up behind her and scratches his head. "But… …ermmm….To be serious—Just **how** do you know for sure?"

"I was able to sense within him the essence of---," she begins.. …but does not finish. Another sigh. "It is of no matter… …."

"Like heck it's not! Starfire, I never imagined I'd see a puppy this full of funk-worms, much less you!"

"Hehehehe," she manages a giggle and smiles tyredly at him. "Your choice of words is the most amusing of Terrans, friend Virgil."

He smiles back. "I'm glad that you take the time to find the joy in things as always, Star. I might be a rookie—but I can tell that that is a sign of you being the real 'you'."

She glances off with a thought as distant as her searching eyes. "The real 'me' would not let such a pained soul exist so alone and so helpless for long.. … ..," she whispers aloud.

Static is close enough to hear. "Think you might ask Robin?"

"Hmmm?"

"Robin—Ya know? The team leader who swings around and yells a lot?" Static winks. "If anyone can help you out, I'm pretty darn sure it's him."

Starfire stares at Static. She opens her mouth to speak—pauses—but then deflates with a reverse shuffle of her lethargic legs. "No. Thank you, dearest friend. But n-no. Robin does not need… …," she bites her lip and wrings her fingers around the glass of water. "… ….it is no more of his concern than yours. I mean not to worry you with the over-amplified concerns of a lone Tamaranian."

"Lone?.?.? Look, Starfire, if you would just—"

"Fare well this wondrous evening, Virgil," she floats away with half a heated voice. "Gl-Glorious Slorvax.. …. …" And she is gone.

"… … …," Static takes a deep breath and folds his arms. His brow furrows in a concerned fashion. "If she won't go to Robin about this.. ….then maybe **I** will.. … …"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

It is nighttime.

The stars twinkle overhead.

It is almost always clear skies in this part of the City. I haven't memorized all the streets yet, but his one splotch of urbanity is one of a few exceptions. The other is a block of less-than-luxurious apartment complexes where Bard and I used to room together before the Titans scooped us up out of desperation. Then there's a few spots in downtown that I've grown to memorize. But this one spot… …This cluster of rich living quarters yawning forth beneath me.. …

I almost see it in my dreams.

I sit perched atop the same spot as ever—a phalanx of stone gargoyles overlooking one of the wealthiest quadrants in the City. It is a place where the luxuriant gather. Valet parking for everyone in the family including the dog. The sort of place where even the fire hydrants have their own municipal codes.

But none of that is the forefront of my mind. I gaze with bare black eyes down the road leading in from the western district of the City. I see a shuttle-van pull up. A familiar, non-dazzling logo splashed across it. There is a routine to this vehicular roamer. I know that there are approximately one dozen passengers inside. I know before I see it that the van will drive into the parking garage.

Then there is a twenty minute pause. Sometimes thirty. Maybe a little more—especially on a rainy day.

But today, the early evening sky is clear. And—sure enough—I spot the 'tradition'. Up atop the roof of the centermost apartment complex in sight, half-a-dozen young females exit the doors of a loft complex. They are teenage souls. High school age. Most older than I am. A scant few the same. One or two have a satchel and/or backpack in tow. They seem to be in a gaggle of conversation. The sweat of sports-practice clings to the brow of some of them. The others—I can't tell, nor do I try to. They exit out onto the cool, inviting rooftop of the tall building and wander to their respective places under electric lamplight where—in groups and in lonely clusters—they embark upon evening homework. The subjects of such—I cannot tell from here. But I can only imagine the hard stuff: trig, advanced English, social studies and essaying… …

It is a sorority. The name on the shuttle bus matches the name on one of the office directories of the building complex: "Akhtar Girls School". I don't know the subjects of all the courses. I don't know the majors. I don't know if the girls' families live in or out of the City like they do. All I know is that the school is filthy expensive, the sorority is extremely inclusive, and they all manage to have themselves a pretty kick-butt soccer team matched up against Jump City's finest. The rest of the details—well—is none of my business.

In fact, none of this is my business. Everynight I come here, I feel the slightest twinge of awkwardness. Of fear that I may be being somewhere or doing something that is totally, utterly wrong. Especially now that I'm not just some lonely, confused freak on the street but a true-blue Titan with many values to stand for. But—for gosh's sake—how am I ruining any 'values'? I'm just… … I'm just….

_Waiting… …_

_Th-There!_

There is nothing within my being that can deny it when my heart occasions to skip a beat. For she too has just emerged. She, with drifting movements more graceful than the wind. She, with hair more midnight than the blue sky above. She, with no greater concern or worry in the world above the perpetual state of her immaculateness.

I do not truly know how old she is. Older than I—I can only guess. Everyone, I swear, is older than me. I do not know if she's religious, agnostic, atheist. I do not know if she flies or cries in her sleep. All I know is that smile that alights the air brighter than the struggling moon overhead. And a name. A name that she seldom responds to, but is hers all the same—

"Fei-Yan!" a schoolgirl calls out. "Hey! Fei!"

She does nothing.

The girl nearly smacks herself for stupidity's sake. As her friends giggle at her, she walks briskly over and waves her hand vividly in the angel's eyesight.

Fei-Yan then notices. She looks intently at the schoolgirl, at the schoolgirl's lip as she slowly proposes something or another that I am not paying attention to. Then, in response, 'Fei' smiles lunarly and adjusts her backpack to free up both her hands and perform a series of swift, succinct hand-signs.

I can read her words from far away over here. I want to chuckle, and at the moment I forget that I have no voice to do so with.

The girls fill the distant air with their own giggles for me. Fei's merry cadence joins them, but hers is breathy and low. An incidental verbalization and nothing more. She hand-signs a few more things to her close friends. But while they sit in their own cluster, she does something predictable—to me, at least. She makes her way routine, nightly way to a greenhouse situated on the far side of the lofty sorority's rooftop. Her movement is like melting ice. That soundless grace. The dark stars off her darker hair.

I wait, as silent as I can ever be. I wait and watch.

She enters the greenhouse, unlocking the door and swiftly slipping in.

A beat. The ever-nightly beat.

And it takes her just as long to come right back out. And sure enough, with the same beautifully ridiculous look of shock and amazement on her otherwise enigmatic face, she clutches a gentle, ivory-soft carnation in her grasp. She tenderly brushes the folds with her girl-fingers, pondering.. …basking?

"Hey! Look what Fei has!"

"Oh my---It's another one!"

"Awwww… …Is it really?"

"That's the third one this month, isn't it?"

The other girls progressively flock over and huddle around her and her unwitting treasure. It is not the first time this has happened. They all speculate and giggle and produce tall tales until someone predictably restates a catch phrase that has reverberated across the air above this complex before:

"Fei's got a secret admirerrrrrr!"

Fei looks confusedly at the one orator in question. That is—until a tall, blonde friend steps in and vividly hand-signs a translation of the uttered words—To which Fei responds with a playful swat of the one girl's shoulder.

They all laugh. And so does she, for she is cradling the porcelain-perfect carnation in her even perfecter palms with the same awe and blushing curiosity as ever. And as always.. …as soon as her wordless almond eyes glance upwards towards the lofts of the City surrounding….

I am gone. In a puff of smoke.

_I don't know who you are._

_But I hope it's okay, because I don't really ever know who **I** am either._

_It's not like the flowers of the field to have a hundred thousand names._

_But yours is one in a million, Fei-Yan. And however which way soundless souls choose to bloom, I hope you are always and only blessed._

_I shall never forget what you once did for me._

And when I walk home tonight.

I walk home happy.

Once again.


	24. Roxxxxane

Beast Boy hopped up from thecouch in Terra's room and held out his hands.

"There's no better way to cheer someone up." He announced. "Then with a...movie night!"

"Beast Boy!" Terra slumped over on the couch. "I already told you I was feeling better."

"Hey, I know! This is just to _keep_ you that way!"

Terra sighed and let out a helpless smile.

"Okay, Beast Boy. Let's have a movie night."

"WOOT! All right. You're gonna love it." He was bubbling with enthusiasm. "Okay...this is your movie night, so what are we watching?"

"Um...I dunno. What do you have?"

That might have been a mistake. In a flash, Beast Boy turned to the shelf in a blur of green.

"What do I have?" He cackled. "Only the greatest movie collection in the whole stinkin' world!" He peered through the collection and pulled out movies at random.

"Attack of the Protozoids?"

"Seen it."

"Super Samurai Ninja Showdown VII?"

"Too cheesy."

"Cube?"

"Too freaky."

"Jurassic Park?"

"Ugh..." Terra let out a disgusted sound. "I lost all respect for it after the sequels."

Beast Boy blinked.

"Huh...me, too. Ahem." He went back to the movies. "Blazing Saddles?"

He did a double take.

"Wait...this isn't my movie..." He looked at Terra.

Terra shook her head.

"Oh, well." Beast Boy tossed it over his shoulder. "Moulin R-EEP!"

"Yes!" Terra crooned. "That one! I wanna watch that one!"

"Aw, c'mon!" Beast Boy moaned. "I hate that movie!"

"But I _love_ it!"

"...Fine." Beast Boy popped the DVD in and plopped down beside Terra on the couch. "Just promise meyou won't sing along."

"Huh? Why? I have a beautiful singing voice!"

"Psssh. I'd rather here Noir sing!

"H-HEY!"

"Heheheheheheheh!"

TTTTTTTTTT

I don't like Titans Tower at night. Maybe we're working on some kind of budget, because the place is always dark and gloomy, like we need two times the light bulbs we actually have. The place is quiet, too. Way too quiet for nine super powered teenagers to be living there. Noir, nine times out of ten, is out on the city doing...whatever it is he does. But worst of all...there's nothing to _do_.

The main room was empty when I walked in, and that was really weird. I walked around aimlessly for a minute or two before flopping down on the small side couch. My hat and poncho come off. As an afterthought, I kick off my cowboy boots. I leaned back and closed my eyes. If I wasn't going to do anything, I might as well kick back and relax.

I was tireder than I'd thought. I didn't realize I was asleep until a voice woke me up.

"You're in my seat."

I didn't even open my eyes. I was _really_ comfortable.

"Hmmm?"

"You're in my seat. Move."

I finally opened my heavy eyelids and saw Raven looking down at me, a book under her arm.

"Oh...sorry." I slowly slid over to the far side of the couch and, snuggling the armrest, was content to go right back to sleep.

"I said move."

I peeked at her with one eye.

"There's plenty of room here." I pointed beside me. "If you want one to yourself, there's a big red couch five steps to your left."

Raven didn't move a muscle and glared at me.

I sighed. I just wanted to _sleep_!

"Didn't your mama ever teach you any manners?"

"No." She grated. "Only how to suppress the voice in my head that is telling me to kill you right now."

"Good." I smirked and, quite intentionally, stretched my feet out on the couch, grabbed my hat and put it over my face. I didn't like her tone. "That means I'll be safe in my sleep. G'night, Miss Kitty."

She did it on purpose.

She did it on frickin' purpose.

She waited...intentionally...waited until I was almost asleep before-

**ZAP!**

She flung me off the couch and across the room with her black telekinesis. I slammed into the top of th kitchen table, slid across it and flipped to the floor. I landed painfully on my face. When I climbed back to my feet with a fair amount of help from a chair, Raven was seated daintily on the futon couch she has tossed me off of. Her face was emotionlessly smug as she read her book.

My blood boiled and my teeth ground together. She had no right to do that! I was about to stomp right over and tell her just that...but then I had a better idea.

I watched her read and, when I figured she was totally immersed in her book...

I hummed.

**SWOOOOSH!**

Wind plucked her up like a rag doll and blew her across the room. She rolled and tumbled across the floor, only stopping with a thump against the far wall.

I was _totally_ unprepared for her reaction.

"_HOW DARE YOU!"_ Her voice was horrible as she levitated towards me, black telekinesis pulsing around her.

"Say what?" A tornado of wind surrounded me, fueled by my anger. "How dare _you!_ You did the exact same thing!"

My will tried to falter when, I thought, her eyes flashed red for just an instant. But I wouldn't let it. We stared at each other, our powers shaking the room and everything in it.

At that moment, the doors slid open and in walked Static.

"What's up, guys? Have you see Rob-Ack!"

Whirling wind and black energy tried to crush him. With no choice, he erected an electrical shield around himself.

Turns out, that was too much power for the room to hold.

**BOOM!**

A shock wave arc out, knocking all three of us to the floor. That shock wave, I would later learned, was called an electromagnetic pulse.

Titans Tower went dark. Barely, I could see a pair of violet eyes glaring at me.

I glared right back.

Simultaneously:

"This is all your fault!"  
"This is all your fault!"

From somewhere in the tower, a female, terribly off key female singing voice reached us.

"_ROOOOOOXXXAAANNNNNNEEE!"_


	25. Denim on Denim

A dripping sound.

Soft.

Rhythmic.

Gentle.

Relaxing.

I drift.

I drift some more.

And I slowly, gradually realize that I am drifting awake.

"… … …"

I stir.

I squirm and stir some more.

I exhale a murmur that only my mind's ears can hear.

I shift about and slowly sit up under the covers of my bed.

The dripping comes from the leaky roofs all around the drafty basement room.

Home sweet home.

Sweet.. ….

I smile, my black eyes blinking thinly.

I crick my neck to the sides, yawn, and stretch till my whole body is taut to the breaking point… … ….and then I fwump(!) down again with an exhale.

"…. .. …."

I blink, staring at the mildewy ceiling.

Inhaling at a wakeful pace.

_That was the best sleep I've had in days._

_Why do I feel so.. ….so at peace?_

_So happy?_

"…. .. …." I blink some more. I rub my eyes—pause, then nod my head mutely.

_Ah….. …_

_Ah, but of course.. …_

_My lips curve to the thought._

_A night out on the rooftops._

_The evening falling and growing cooler._

_The carnation I bought. The carnation I left in the greenhouse. The carnation that rested in her delicate hands._

_Her… …. …._

I sigh. I hug my knees to my chest and drunkenly smile.

There's one reason to keep saving this City… …. ….

The ceiling drips. Drips. Drips.

Drips.

I blink.

**Drips.**

_Awwww, Chun-Li alive… …!_

I gnash my teeth, kick myself out of bed, and fly to the bathroom as fast as my legs can carry me….. ….

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Minutes later, I am strolling up the hallways of the Tower.

Denim jeans. Denim jacket. The white undershirt I slept in.

_We all have a 'casual', don't we?_

_… …. …don't we?_

It takes my comfortable black eyes a few moments to realize that none of the lights are on. Not a single one.

I glance around and realize that—relatively speaking—the entire Tower is indeed pitch black, save for a slight gray aura distantly suggesting a rising Sunrise in rooms where there are windows.

_Huh… ….the power must have been off all night._

_Funny that I didn't notice when I limped into the Tower and fell into bed._

_Heh… …guess I was too 'distracted'._

I sigh to myself again. A happy sigh.

I smile.

I should seek help.

Hehe.. …but I'm not going to.

I dash up a stairwell with a spring to my step and walk down the hallway leading into the distant Main Room. And I am assaulted by a bright gleam of light from a certainly-risen Sun.

I squint my optics and shade my brow with a hand.

_Yeesh! I c-certainly slept in like heck!_

_To think.. … …I'm THAT dependent on a working alarm clo—_

**GRIP!.!.!**

I gasp, for I have suddenly been wrangled into an iron-crushing elbow lock from behind. I grit my teeth as my adrenaline goes into overdrive and I try my best to murk or blur or teleport away—when every thought and every impulse to flight is tossed away with the feel of a familiar set of brass knuckles boring into my skull in a classic, bullyish dutch rub.

"Reckon you might stay out all night like the moon and leave us here to hang'n'worry, huh?" Bard smirks. He locks my neck tighter in his grip and practically digs knuckle-ravines into my cranium. "Just where you last night? Smokin' with the wrong crowd? You'd better not!"

I kick. I grit my teeth and twist and squirm. I can't get free from his damn grip. Dang it, cowboy--!

"We're both noobies fixin' to make a good first impression on Robin's team! No need to be late for curfew, you think so too, Noirry boy?" He chuckles and swings me around like the ragdoll I am in his thick-bodied grip. "Huh? Huh?"

I wheeze. I fling a desperate arm out and blindly hand-sign a five-finger equivalent to 'Uncle! Uncle!'

"That's more like it!" He winks and—Thwoosh—lunges me across the hall.

I scamper and trip my way into a precarious lean before hobbling back on two feet. Panting. Disheveled. I adjust my denim jacket and run my hands through my frazzled black strands.

"Sorry, man," he laughs lightly. "I just couldn't help it."

I give him a sarcastic smile, then stick my tongue out.

He glances up and down and scratches his chin. "New costume? Or was there a massacre at the Levi's factory or somethin'?"

I fold my arms in a pout and then swiftly sign to him.

"… ….. ….what do you mean 'I should consider wearing casual'?" He grins at me and strikes a High-Noon pose in his poncho, hat, and boots. "I am in casual, partner!"

"… … ….," I sigh and wave him off.

"Ahhh---Good morning to you too, Noir. And dun worry, I ain't all that riled up about you comin' home late. Besides, you're not the only one riskin' our necks in breaking the rules around here."

Hearing that, I glance at him curiously and raise an eyebrow. For I notice a few bruises on his person that weren't there beforehand. I scratch my head in confuzzlement and look blackly towards him for an explanation.

He sure knows when to give it: "Ah, I got into a bit of a scrape with Raven."

My eyes widen. I mouth: '_Raven?.!.?.!'_

"Heh. Yeah. Sounds pretty nasty, don't it?"

I sweatdrop verily…

"Relax, it was just some regular plain 'ol roughousin'," Bard shrugs. "Ya know, horsin' around! Only….well… …with a sorceress who was ready to incinerate my chaps off for warring over a dag-blamed futon."

"… ….," I blink. I snicker. I hiccup. I cover a hand over my mouth and all but fall over with breathy giggles.

He sighs, takes his hat off, and slaps it against his knee before smirking frustratedly at me. "You certainly take a lot of liking to the thought of me being given the once-over by our resident Morgan la Faye. I wanna see you go toe to toe with her over the tea dispenser and see if you like having your prostate removed by telekinetic talons."

I still snicker.

"… …eh, what am I sayin'?" He smiles and fits his hat back on his head. "She'd just ask Terra and Starfire to gather 'round and do ribbons in that bushy hair of yours."

I point a smoking finger at him with an instant frown.

Watch it.

Just then, Static walks in with the usual smartass smirk on his face. "Sorry, guys. Am I interrupting some sort of rehearsal for Brokeba—"

"**DON'T YOU TREAD THERE!**" Bard points with a thunderous roar.

"…. …. …." Static gulps, then smiles nervously this time. "Very well. Anyone seen Robin? I've been walking all over the Tower and looking for him the whole damn night!"

"Sounds like a plot hole."

"… … …what?"

"What I mean to say is—I dunno. Last time I saw Robin was somewhere between tossing furniture at Raven and bumping into stairwells."

"No kidding."

"I reckon he's tryin' to fix the power or something. You know the Tower's power grid is located smack dab in the center of the bottom floor."

"Heh….," Static cracks his knuckles. "Yeah, I think I'll be headed there."

"Hey, whatever paths we all tread are the paths we all tread."

"If I can see a freakin' inch in front of me.. …," Static stumbles his way down a nearby hallway with his hands in front of him. "Crud! I feel like one of my ancestors stumbling after Harriet Tubman or something."

"Try that on me again when it's Black History Month.. … …and I still might not get it."

"Love you too, Bard."

"Oh go suck on a light bulb," Bard rolls his eyes and winks at me. "See? Roughhousin'!"

"… … …."

"What are you starin' at me for?"

I give him a smirk and charade 'walking' fingers and point in the direction of Raven's room—

"I know I know…," Bard sighs. "Believe it or not, I was plannin' on knocking on her door myself to try to.. …to.. …make things right, ya know?"

I nod.

"I mean, it was nothing! Just horseplay and—"

I cough.

"RIGHT. FINE….Going. But when I get back," he points at me. "I wanna know what got you pokin' around outside the Tower for so late last night!"

I roll my black eyes….

"I'm serious! We gotta look out after each other, even when it annoys the heck out of each other!

_Whatever, Big Brother._

I wave him off with a breathy chuckle and walk towards the Main Room doors.

With him around, I shall always feel like a kid.

_But I'm not a kid… …_

_… ….am I?_

I walk into the doors. They do not open automatically… …

BONK!

I hit my head and land on my butt, wincing.

_Owie.. … …_


	26. Tumbleweeds 1

I stood on the roof of Titans Tower.

Again.

I smoked a cigarette.

Again.

This was starting to become a habit.

I exhaled smoke.

Everything I do is habit.

I'm on a thinker or an intellectual. I'm not saying I'm stupid...I just don't spend a whole lot of my day in thought. I am who I am. I don't think before I react to things. I just react and hope that the person I am does the right thing. It usually works out okay. Once or twice it's almost gotten me killed. And then, the other times...

It gets me in trouble.

I toked another drag from my cigarette.

In retrospect, the fight Raven and I had was pretty stupid. I should have just stood up and given her the darn couch...but still. She had commanded me like a peasant with no respect at all. She didn't even say please or nothin'!

I had a feeling it was going to be tough for me and Raven to get along. We were totally different and our first real one on one meeting hadn't gone so well. But, then again, I'd seen many a relationship start that way. Lordy, Raven and I would probably end up falling madly in love with each other.

I pondered some more.

Maybe not.

I nursed my cancer stick, screwing up the will to go apologize to her. If Popeye had been a cowboy and not a sailor, the guy would have been smoking away instead of chowing down spinach.

The sun had risen over the horizon now, but I knew it would be pitch dark down in the tower. You'd think the guy that made it would have designed it with more than two windows.

I threw my cigarette over the side of the roof and squared my shoulders.

Time to face the music.

**Knock! Knock!**

I rapped my knuckles against Raven's door, leaning on the wall beside it.

"Raven! It's me, Bard."

She didn't answer.

"Look, I'm sure you're still mad at me. I just came to apologize."

Still she didn't answer.

"Giving me the silent treatment is just a little juvenile, don't ya think?"

Silence.

I started to lose my cool.

"Look, I'm gonna come in there and say my piece. If you're still mad and don't wanna talk with me, I reckon I'll have to live with it. All right?"

No answer.

I hit the control panel beside the door.

Nothing happened.

Oh...right. No power.

I tried to get my fingers into the groove between the sliding doors, but they were too big. I reached into my cowboy boot and brought out the switchblade knife I always kept there. I flipped it open and stabbed the blade into the groove.

**SKKRTTT!**

Just as I started to work it open, the doors popped open on their own. The knife flew out of my hand and down the hallway. That wasn't exactly how I planned it, but it got the door open. I shrugged and stepped into the room, looking around.

It looked like Dracula's apartment...if he had an apartment, of course. Or a witch's lair, only Raven wasn't deformed and ugly with a boil on her nose.

Or something.

The room was dark, just like the rest of Titans Tower at the moment, but I could see it was dark by design. A few archaic-looking lanterns hung from the ceiling. They were lit, but they seemed not to make it any lighter. It seemed their only purpose was to make the shadows look creepy.

I blinked.

The shadows did indeed look creepy. I turned away...and nearly jumped out of my skin before figuring out the white face in front of my nose was part of a statue: One smiling and one frowning. It looked like a satanic ode to bipolar disorder or something.

The bed was covered with a simple purple blanket with a headboard that looked liked Raven's hood overshadowing it. There was a sharply angled, asymetrical mirror on the wall, a dusty chest with a demon's head for a lock and goblets on the dresser that looked more useful for drinking blood than anything else.

...Definitely creepy.

I quickly saw that Raven wasn't here, though, so I was under no obligation to stay, thank goodness. I turned to leave.

**SWOOSH!**

The sliding doors slammed shut. I started to worry, but then I shrugged. I'd just open it again with my knife like I did last time.

...Wait. My knife was out in the hallway.

Damn it.

I looked around quickly for something to use to pop open the doors. The room was starting to freak me out a little. I opened the top drawer of her dresser and was met with silky, frilly clothes that I'd never seen Raven wear before...and never would.

Ahem.

Second drawer. I had better luck there. I took a small hand mirror out of it. My reflection looked a little foggy and off kilter in it and the border had a dozen faces carved in to it. But all I really cared about was the narrow handle and the sharp point at the end. I slammed it, carefully, into the groove of the doors.

**PHOOSH!**

The mirror was suddenly engulfed in fire. I dropped it quickly and flinched away, holding my burnt hand. The faces on the border of the mirror suddenly started to move. They laughed at me hauntingly.

I was freaking out.

"_What's the matter?"_ A demonic voice asked me from...somewhere. _"Don't like fire? Afraid you're going to get burned?"_

"R-Raven!" I stepped back and only stopped when I hit the far wall. "Y-you got your laugh, all right? This isn't funny!"

Apparently I was wrong, because the faces on the mirror continued to laugh.

Suddenly, the flames spiraled at me like fiery tentacles. Before I could even think about dodging or fighting back, they already had me.

Pulling me.

And the faces laughed.


	27. Tumbleweeds 2

Raven's eyes fly open.

She's frozen in mid-meditation, levitating in a lotus position a few feet away before the morning light of the Main Room windows.

I see her sudden, glazed look from several feet away where I am eating a bowl of oatmeal at the kitchen counter.

I try to shrug it off, after all—I know very little about Raven's powers. Or her methodology. Or her… ..erm.. ….'trance' stuff.

I don't know whether to be creeped out or concerned.

Nevertheless, there is a slight shudder that runs through me as I dig back into my oatmeal and helplessly give ear to the ramblings of my fellow compatriots—

"Banana man! Ba da da da da daaaaaa!" Beast Boy runs around the room with fake 'biplane wings' stretched out emeraldly at either side.

Terra giggles, sitting at the counter beside me with a bowl of Cheerios and strawberries. At least she eats something. "B.B., do you ever run out of the goofiness?"

"Alas, I am not B.B.!" Beast Boy turns part-squid and matches the banana peels with tentacles as he 'rises' menacingly from the blind horizon of the kitchen counter. "I am one of the Old Ones… …and I have lurked back from the depths to CONSUME THE SOULS OF MAN!" His eyes brim with the usual elven magic once more. "Th-Then I'll make everyone make this a nation of truth, justice, and tofu!"

"Egads, B.B.," Terra speaks in mid-munch. "Mmmmf—Enough with the tofu stuff-mmfff."

I smirk.

"Terra! You surprise me!" Beast Boy hops up onto the counter and twirls the banana peels like nunchaka. "You're my girlfriend, support me on this! Everyone should be a vegetarian!"

"Pffft!" Terra spits milk and little wheaty O's. "SNkkkt—Ahem. Two things. One: I'm not anyone's girlfriend. Your statement, sir, is suggestive of misogynist possession and patriarchal arrogance—"

"Whoah! Tone down the feminism!" Beast Boy squats down and winks. "When the room's estrogen goes faster than eighty-eight miles per hour, my intestines get sent back to the time of dinosaurs and methane gas."

I chuckle breathily.

Terra rolls her eyes. "Beast Boy.. … .."

"I'm serious! I start laying eggs and farting the room back to the Jurassic!"

"Hehehehehe," Terra fights not to giggle, but fails. "Heehehehe—And SECOND—Vegetarianism is just a fad."

I nod with a smile.

"Plblblblb!" Beast Boy nearly tongue-spits on our breakfast with his juvenile protest. "Vegetarianism is the way of the future!" He again waves the 'tentacle'-peels. "SO SAITH THE OLD ONE!"

Terra grabs the squishy peels and tosses them over her golden head with a playful frown. "And just what makes eating plants so very different from animal meat?"

"Whatsa—HUH?.?.?" Beast Boy recoils as if he's been sniped from a schoolbook depository. "Terra! Have you been secretly forming cracks in the Earth to smoke yourself up some funky sulfur, girl?"

"Just answer the question! How's meat and veggies so different?"

"I wouldn't pretend to know much about meat off the bone until I grew some of it first," Beast Boy winks with a thumb's up.

Terra shoves him. "Cut it out! This is soooo going somewhere!"

"Prove it!"

I munch on some oatmeal and lean in, listening….

"L-Like… …animals are living things, right?"

"Right."

"And plants are living things," Terra says. "Right?"

"Heh…Right."

"… ….see what I mean?"

"… … …what?" Beast Boy blinks blankly.

Terra sighs. "Never mind—"

"You mean to say that animals and plants are the same because they are both alive?"

"Don't you ever think that?"

"But…pfft….They are sooooo different, dudette!"

"Like how?"

"Well… …L-Like a dog for instance!"

"What about it?"

"It…like…walks around n'stuff!"

"And?"

"…. ….and it has feelings!"

"How do you know that?"

"Ever pet a puppy, Terra?" Beast Boy winks and shrinks into an infantile canine to proof it. Bow! Bow wow!

I sip on some orange juice to keep from choking.

"Hehehe…but Beast Boy," Terra smirks. "You might be in the shape of a dog, but you're still the same old elf."

SCHLUMP! He squats on the stool once more. "Don't you know it, babe."

"Hehe—But just because a dog looks like it has feelings doesn't prove it actually has or has not feelings, right?"

"Well.. …Yeah. Who's to know?"

"Isn't the same way with plants?"

"Well…..H-Huh?"

"What if plants also have their own feelings? Culture? Emotions?"

"Pfft—Terra, now you're over complicating things—"

"What if?"

"I dunno! Who's to know!"

Terra brings a strawberry to her lips and slowly, ravenously chews its gooey guts out in the open air before swallowing and winking. "Mmmmf—Exactly….. …"

"…. .. ….," Beast Boy blinks. "… … …." Beast Boy sweats.

"Hehehe—Awwwww.. ….what have I donnnne to your poor widdle headdddd?" Terra leans over to hug Beast Boy.

"Watch it! Don't spill the tofu!"

"Hehehe—Hey!" Terra looks over with a grin. "What do you think about this debate?"

**TH-THWOMP!** Raven plunges to the carpet.

I cough, hacking on oatmeal.

"R-Raven!" Terra gasps.

"Whoah!" Beast Boy shouts and leaps into cheetah form. "Houston, the witch is down!"

We all run to the fainted sorceress.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Robin?.?.?"

Static wanders into a utility closet.

"Robin?.?.?.?.?"

Static wanders into a plumbing network.

"Robin?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?"

Static wanders down a shadowed, first-floor hallway.

"Robin?.?—THERE you are! Friggin' finally…"

Static wanders inside a large room normally sealed off with thick, metal doors with multiple security locks. Inside he finds Robin crawled under huge, dormant coils illuminated by snake-light electric lanterns clipped to random wireframes and aimed at the instrument panels that the Boy Wonder is frantically working at.

The Titan Leader looks hardened. Chiseled with hours of wakefulness. Greased and sweated and mattded with endless toil. He huffs and puffs and wrenches at the instrument panel with very little fortune and very little patience.

"Nnnngh.. ..wh-what do you want, Static?"

"Whew! I think I want a glass of water and some Tylenol from just lookin' at you, Robbie!"

"Don't call me Robbie… …"

"Oh, and you can call me 'Virgil' anyday. Yeah, I gotcha," he winks.

"Static, don't push it. Luggage stores have outrageous prices these days."

Static blinks. "The Hell is that supposed to---" He pauses, then nods. "Ohhhhh, I get it---God, you're a jerk aren't you?"

"**What did you need?**"

"Dude, how long have you been at this?"

"It is.. …very important… ..that we get… ..the power to this.. … ..Tower back on….," Robin grumbles and grunts amid his work. "I have no clue what cooked the fuse last night, but something did and it's ticking me off."

Static sweats. "Erm…y-yeah…," he adjusts his goggles and collar---then smiles coolly again. "So… ….You know what I mean, right?"

"What?"

"How long have you been doing this godawful 'stay-up-all-night-and-be-pissed-off-at-the-world-thing'?" Static asks. He blinks. Half winces and utters: "All night?"

"I don't know what you're talking about.. …."

"Beast Boy and Cyborg have warned me about this. Raven too, as much as she's willing to talk to nerdy rookies such as myself," Static paces about the dimly lit room and rambles: "You have this thing for letting stuff get to your head. Heh…I'm not one to dictate to Batman's protégé, but shouldn't you have sufficient training to 'get over stuff'."

"Static, I could endure a psychiatric evaluation anytime and anyplace, but right now I have more important things to do."

"Like---?"

"What are you--Dense?" Robin grumbles and sweats. "Are you retarded? I've got to fix the goddam Tower!"

Static smirks.

Static flexes a gloved hand.

Static sends a single bolt of bright-white lightning into the Tower's energy banks.

**ZZZZzzzzzzzzzt!**

**VROMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!-HMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

Lights flicker on.

Motors move.

Coils churn and sparkle.

The entire Tower charges up from the ground skyward.

"……. …….. …..," Robin's eyemask deflates as he lies underneath the now-lit instrument panel. "… .. …nnngh.. …." He slides out and squats besides the arms-folded Static. He wipes his brow with a loose glove. "Maybe sleep would be a good thing."

"Yeah, all well and fine, dawg," Static slumps down into a sitting position besides him. "But I think you've got something—or someone to attend to first."

"The Titans can take care of themselves by now," Robin mutters, slipping his gloves back on. "They've learned to be self-sufficient emotionally."

Static raises an eyebrow. "Oh really? Since when was this the latest dictation?"

"Before your inception, Virgil."

"Heh. Now THAT's a cop-out."

"Look, what do you want from me—"

"You notice how Starfire's down all of the sudden?"

"What am I supposed to do about that?"

"Wow, you really don't give a crap, do you?" Static frowns. "That's kinda surprising! And real sick too, man! Low and sick—I thought from what I've been told that you were a bit more understanding than that!"

"Look, I'm busy—"

"Bull! You're just in a lousy mood. And I bet you a million bucks it ain't for any better a reason for what's got lovely 'ol Starfire in the dumps as we speak!"

Robin's fists clench. Fuming, he jumps up to his feet and heads for the door. "This is a waste of my time. I can't bother with such trivial conversations when—"

"When what, 'boss'?" Static jumps up after him.

Robin twirls around with a fist raised. "I'm not going to screw more things up that I'm supposed to be responsible for! Starfire's business is her own! And my business is my own! And Red X--… …."

"… … …," Static leans his head to the side curiously. Hands on his hips.

Robin pauses…. …sighs.. …and rubs the back of his neck. "… … ….You're right, Static. I haven't slept at all since yesterday."

The Dakota hero nods. "Since the battle with Chang?"

Robin faces the corner. ".. …. ….what is the dividing line between good and evil, Static?"

"… …uhm… …eheh…that's one for Kant, Robin. Not for me."

Robin merely goes on: "What's more evil? Someone who hurts someone out of selfish gain? Or someone who causes someone harm by being totally negligent?"

"Depends on the situation, I guess."

"Heh…that's anyone's answer."

"Robin? What's wrong?" Static walks over and shrugs. "Consider it a man-to-man beertime chat—only without the beer and picket fences."

"…. …nnngh….," Robin runs a finger across his temple. "I have always been and shall always be concerned about Starfire, Static. And don't think I've been blind to her concerns as of late. "

"You could at least tell her that."

"I guess I'm preoccupied with a greater plight…"

"Like whose? Earlier you said—"

"Red X… ..right," Robin nods. "The only reason he ever got into this mess is because I made the suit that he stole. That's the source of all his Xenothium addiction. My influence was the ultimate bait into his suffering. Not any of Chang's work."

"Erm…what are you saying, Robin?"

The hero looks at the hero.

"It's my fault. It's my fault that whoever's in that suit… .. …may be horrifically suffering right now.. …. …"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Smelling salts! Do we have any smelling salts?" Terra pants.

"Dudette! That only works in the movies! Noir! Maybe your fart powers can wake her up!"

I do a double-take at Beast Boy and all but shove him.

What do I know about resuscitating fallen sorceresses?

I'm only a superhero---…. ….dang it!

"Well we gotta do something!" Terra squeaks. "OmigodOmigodOmigod—I-I-I've never seen something like this happen to Raven!"

"Well at least she doesn't have all the freaky red tattoo stuff all over her like that one time."

"….Huh?"

Right then and there, the doors to the Main Room swish open. I barely notice, I'm so panicky.

"Hey, y'all! How'd Robin get the power turned on—WHOAH DAMN!" A padding of heavy metal feet, and Cyborg is soon kneeling beside us. "What in the Sam Hell happened?"

"I.. …erm….she…."

"And for that matter, what in the Jane Shit and Mary Crap happened? Like—Raven's eyes are lifeless as suction cups!"

"We dunno! She just fell over in the middle of meditating!"

"Meditating?"

"Y-Yeah!"

"Damn…," Cyborg sweats. "Who knows what sort of astral wyrdness could be bothering her if it happened during meditation!"

I bite my lip.

I am scared… …

For the first time since I met these new friends of mine—

"WAIT!" Beast Boy hops up. "If it's all about her psyche and stuff, then maybe one of her magic chants would work!"

"B.B.! We don't know jack about her magic—"

"What about that book of Azarath thingy? Ya know, the big leathery book with lots of moth parts dangling loosely from the dusty edges?"

"Ewwwww," Terra make a face. "Really?"

"Yeah, and this one day, a big spider came out and vomited tiny babies all over my thumb when I was trying to find a spell to crossbreed flowers and farts—"

"**B.B.!** If we're gonna be serious about this, then we'd better go and get this book!"

"Quickly!" Terra panted. "Raven may not have long!"

"It's in her room!" Beast Boy jumps up.

Cyborg also stands. "Can you get there fast enough?"

"Uhhhhh---" Beast Boy sweatdrops. "Erm….No." He brightens and hoists me up by the arm. "But Noir can!"

H-Hey!

"Noir!" Cyborg leans forward. "You know where Raven's room is, right?"

I bite my lip and nod.

I guess I do.

Laundry duty… …eheh—

"Smoke-run or something to there and fetch the largest, leather-bound book you can find!"

"And bring it here extra pronto!"

"Raven's well-being may depend on it! And don't worry about going into her room without asking. Kick the damn door down if you have to!"

I nod desperately, spin about, and blur in a denim-streak of desperation.

I have to get to Raven's room!

As quickly as possible.

For her sake.. ….

After all that's happened, what could POSSIBLY go wrong?


	28. Tumbleweeds 3

Noir blurred denimly out of the main room and into the hallway, trailing wispy black smoke behind him. He turned left and right, navigating the tower with his legs churning. He skidded to a stop in front of Raven's door and heard:

"_Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah!"_

The voices of the mirror laughed as I struggled.

"Get the...hell...off of...me!"

The tentacles of fire wrapped around my arms and legs, pulling me towards the mirror. Humming raggedly, I tried to encase my limbs in ice. But the flaming ropes ate through it immediately. They burned my bare arms and sizzled against the leather of my cowboy boots. It felt like some sick and twisted rodeo from hell.

My last resort was the wind song, but it was no use. The fiery ropes kept pulling me, closer and closer to the burning mirror. I sweat from the heat and exertion. My breathing and heart rate went faster and faster.

**SWOOSH!**

The doors slid open.

"Noir!"

My friend didn't hesitate. He drew the sword he called myrkblade and slashed through the fire. The sword went right through it, but the ropes didn't relinquish their hold on me. My boots smoked. My upper arms were being branded.

Noir grabbed me around the neck from behind, trying to pull me back. I tried to help with the wind song again, but it was no use. The mirror drew us inexorably closer. There was no fighting it.

"Noir! Let go of me!"

Of course he didn't. I knew he wouldn't.

"Damn it, Noir! Let go of me!"

It was too late. The flaming mirror had already won.

**FLASH!**

I think I blacked out, but I don't know. All I know for sure is, some time later, I stood on solid ground. Noir blinked dazedly beside me.

It looked liked we were inside a horror movie. We stood on a narrow, barren and rocky walkway that led to nowhere. Leafless, dead trees dotted the area and eerie, black Raven's with overly large glowing red eyes watched us from the branches. The sky was black with red stars that smoldered more than shined. A hooded and robed statue stood ominously not far away, holding broadswords in its four hands.

"Where...in the blue hell are we?"

Noir didn't have an answer. He looked around anxiously with his hand close to myrkblade. I had the same feeling.

I looked down and touched my burned, throbbing arms gently. When I did, I saw the silver cross pendant necklace around my neck was glowing white.

Noir saw it to. He started to sign at me-

**FLASH!**

The statue disappeared in an explosion of white light.

**FLASH!**

The ravens disappeared.

**FLASH!**

The trees popped out of existence.

**FL-FL-FL-FLASH!**

One by one, the red stars popped out of the sky.

**FLASH!**

The walkway disappeared under our feet and Noir and I found ourselves falling.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

I might have blacked out again. I don't know. But then-

**TH-THUMP!**

Noir and I landed hard on our faces. Fine, gritty dust filled my mouth. I turned over and spit it out as I sat up.

"Urgh...pbbbt! You all right, Noir?"

He sat up dizzily and gave me the OK sign.

I nodded in his general direction and took the time to look around.

"...whoa."

The scene had changed dramatically. The sky was the lightest blue overhead and yellow sun boiled. Low, sandy mountains could be seen in the distance. And we...were in a town. Wooden, crudely constructed buildings faced the main dust-filled road we sat on from two sides. There were banks and general stores and inns and saloons. It was a scene I knew well. I half expected Clint Eastwood to come riding in.

"Well," I drawled, glancing over at Noir. "I reckon it's safe to say we ain't in Kansas anymore, huh?"

I suddenly did a double take.

"Noir!"

'What?' He mouthed.

I pointed at him.

"Look!"

He looked down at himself. He was shirtless, save for a bone necklace made from assorted animal teeth that dangled loosely from around his neck. He had on light brown leggings made of deerskin and beaded moccasins. When he saw all this he signed at me in a flurry.

"How the hell should I know what's going on? I-" I broke off and looked around closer at our surroundings, my brain in overdrive. They looked familiar. I peered at the town and wooden sign riddled with gunshot holes that read 'Welcome to Dodge City'. I looked at Noir, dressed as a Indian boy and down at myself, unchanged in my hat, boots and poncho. I put it together.

"Actually...scratch that. We _are_ in Kansas."

A question mark popped over Noir's head.

"All right...stay with me here. I think..." I could barely believe it myself. "I think we're in a book."

Noir's black eyes bulged. He signed.

"Well...I reckon it's kinda like Winnie the Pooh in Kingdom Hearts but-" I shook my head. "It was my favorite book as a kid. 'Waltz Across Texas' it was called and-Hey! Stop laughing! Anyway...it was set during and after the Civil War."

I paused and collected my thoughts.

"The main guy was called Luke the Drifter. A band of renegade Union soldiers killed his wife and son when they...set fire to his house. So he joined the Confederate Army so he could get his revenge. Right at the end of the war, his unit was captured and forced to surrender. Luke refused, though, and got away. The government considered him an outlaw, so he flees to Mexico where he can live his life out in peace. That's pretty much the story."

Noir yawned.

"Don't you get it? _I'm_ Luke the Drifter!"

Noir looked at me and pointed to himself.

"You...heh." I rubbed the back of my neck. "You're an Indian boy I found in the desert, half dead from thirst. I kinda brought you back to health and informally adopted you as my son."

"..."

"We're in Dodge City now, so we're about halfway through the book. I kinda forget what happens..." I looked around. "Let's got to the saloon. Major events in westerns always start or happen in saloons."

I started to walk off, but I was alone. I turned back to see Noir hadn't moved.

"What is it?"

He signed.

"Noir...you don't want to know, really. C'mon."

He crossed his arms across his chest.

"I'm serious. You _really_ don't want to know."

"..."

"Fine." I sighed. "Your name is Little Squirrel. Happy?"

He wasn't, but he walked with me down the dusty street anyway. As we walked, I reached for my cigarettes. But I found something else instead: A sack of chewing tobacco. I considered for a second before I shrugged. When in Rome...

I took a pinch of tobacco from the bag and put in my mouth between my bottom front teeth and lower lip.

Noir looked at me. His face scrunched up and turned green.

"What?" I sucked on the tobacco. "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it!" I spit out a streak of brown.

Noir shuddered.

A man walking the opposite way of us tipped his hat good-naturedly at us.

"Mornin', strangers." I smiled as we parted ways.

Noir signed at me.

"What? No, as a matter of fact I _don't_ need a change of pants. I can't believe you just said that."

He scratched the back of his neck.

Even though it was morning, the saloon was lively. As Noir and I walked into the swinging doors, we saw maybe twenty people sitting at tables, drinking and talking loudly. Music poured forth from an old-timey piano and a familiar-looking blonde girl stood beside it, singing an upbeat version of 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot'. My eyes widened.

"Look." I pointed. "Is that _Terra?_"

Noir stood on his toes to look.

"Hey!" A black bearded man bellowed at us and pointed at Noir. "Civilized folks don't want that Injun scum in here!"

"Yeah?" I gave him my best flat-eyed glare and spit tobacco juice in his glass. "Reckon you ain't one of'em."

I turned away and led Noir to the bar. He looked up at me questioningly.

"Hey, if I gotta be Luke, I might as well have fun with it.

Noir rolled his eyes.

Another familiar face was behind the bar.

"Static?"

He looked at me funny and wiped a shot glass on the front of his white apron.

"You must have me confused with someone else, friend. The name's Virgil. Virgil Earp. Damn proud of it, too." He set the glass down. "Now what can I get ya to drink?"

"Water."

Virgil looked like he'd swallowed a frog.

"Water?"

I leaned forward and squinted again.

"You have a problem with that?"

"What? N-no! Just surprised me at all. Settle on down and I'll bring it right up."

He walked down to the other end of the bar and I turned around. I saw a redhead leaning against the opposite wall with a long dress that showed off a inappropriate amount of cleavage. When she saw me looking, she put a hand to her half-naked chest and winked suggestively at me with emerald eyes. I almost had a heart attack.

Sweet mother of Hank!

Starfire was a whore!

Noir caught my gaze and started to look for himself, but I quickly, with a red face, put a hand on his shoulder.

"Kory caught your eye, did she?" Static...I mean Virgil...was back. "I'd be suspicious if she didn't. She's the absolute finest whore this side of the Mississipi. More expensive than a horse in California, but well worth it. I hear she's as fierce as a charging wildcat in bed."

I cleared my throat. Loudly. Several times.

"Ahem. Got our water?"

"Right here, friend." He put two glasses of water in front of us on the bar.

Noir signed inconspicuously at me.

"Yeah," I whispered back. "I'm confused, too. I went into Raven's room and found this weird mirror. The thing suddenly caught on fire and grabbed me." I gingerly touched one of my burnt arms. "That's when you showed up and we got sucked in, right?"

Noir nodded.

"So then we were in that creepy place and-"

Noir pointed at my chest.

"Right, my necklace started glowing-"

He signed at me.

"Oh...um..." I looked away. "I forget where I got it." I coughed. "Anyway, it started glowing. Everything disappeared and...here we are."

Noir's fingers danced.

"Yeah...I'm still confused, too."

Across the room, Terra left the piano and hopped up on the stage at the back of the saloon.

"Hey, ya'll!" She had to yell at the top of her lungs to be heard. "You folks want to see the lovely Kori dance?"

The crowd cheered and hooted and hollered an overwhelming 'yes'. Kori walked gracefully through the crowd and stepped up on the stage. Behind her and Terra was a young guitarist on a stool.

Terra nodded.

"Go ahead, Jonny." The piano started up and the guitarist started playing

The guitarist looked like he'd had a bit to much to drink. He kept missing chords and falling off the beat. Finally, he gave up and entertained himself by pinching Kori's butt.

Kori didn't hesitate.

**WHAM!**

She spun and punched him right in the temple, flinging him off his stool and sending the guitar clattering across the stage. The guitarist twitched a little but didn't move.

Terra sighed.

"Look we like we need a guitarist! Can anyone play?"

I looked quickly at Noir.

Noir sighed, rolled his eyes and waved me off.

"Heheh! Thanks!" I started through the crowd. "I can play!" I yelled.

I clamored up on stage, picked up the fallen guitar and sat down on the stool. I tuned the instrument back up quickly and looked up with a grin.

"All right, girls. Do what you do best."

Kori winked at me.

"I just might do that, cowboy. But right now, I have to dance."

I started up the tune to hide my blush.


	29. Tumbleweeds 4

"Hang in there, Raven, you hear me?" Cyborg murmurs, gently cupping the comatose girl's cheek. "Noir's gonna fetch you that book of Azar to fix you right up. So don't you worry, 'kay girl?"

"Sh-She looks so pale.. …," Terra cups a hand over her mouth.

"Dudette, she's always pale."

"THIS IS NOT A TIME FOR JOKES!"

"Listen, I wasn't the one who suddenly collapsed in front of everyone else and started freaking them out for no reason!"

"Like she really has a say in what's happening to her! Something's awful with her! She could be dying or being sucked away into one of her many dark dimensions or—"

"SHhhh! Guys!" Cyborg gasps, raising a Titanium hand. "She's coming to!"

Beast Boy and Terra simultaneously gasp.

"Whoah! No way!"

"R-Raven?" Terra murmurs, leaning in.

Raven's eyes open. Slowly. One violet orb after another. She blinks.. …and blinks again.

Beast Boy and Terra grin as one.

"Raven!"

"You're back!"

"You sure scared us!"

"What happened to you?"

"….. ……… ………. …….."

"… … …Raven?"

Cyborg bites his lip. "Erm.. … …Raven, please say something. You're scaring us—"

"Hehehehe---ALL RIGHT GIRLS!" FWOOOSH! Raven leaps up and strikes a sexah ballet pose before the wide-stretching windows. She grins a sultry crescent moon and stretches her dainty arms toward the ceiling. "DO WHAT YOU DO BEST!"

"G-Girls?"

"Do what?" Beast Boy scratches his head.

Cyborg stares at Raven's exuberant pose. "Uhhh---Rae--?"

"Strum it, Luke!" Raven twirls, coos happily, and slink-dances her way across the window span before galloping in place into a full-fledged can-can. "Ohhhhhhhhh--I jumped the train when I was sixteeeeeeeeen. I wanted to see the world beyond Abeliennnnne. My papa told me I was fit for starvinnnnnn'!"

Raven showgirl prances across the Main Room. A brain dead trio of Titans gaze at her with anchored feet of lead, joined by their dropping jaws.

"I said: 'Hey pa, you fooled me twice! Not every girl is sugar and spice! But boy was I fixin' for a'fallinnnnnnnn!" Raven orgasmically yelps and kicks up a frilly skirt that isn't there and proceeds to can-can her life away. "Sing with me!---**I've got nothing in my britches but eighteen stitches and a folding knife 'stead of a fatback. Oh lordy help me cuz I'm a prairie dog galllllllllyyyyyyy"**

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

In the metaphysical mindscape of Raven, the singing Terra frolicks her way across the saloon stage while a drunkenly enamored Bard (or 'Luke') perches on an adjacent stool and twangs away at his country guitar.

"Oh I'm a prairie dog galllllllllly!" 'Terra' yodels at the top of her lungs.

"**YEEEEEEEE-HA!"** The saloon echoes.

"I'm a prairie dog galllll-lllllyyyyy!"

"**YEEEE-HA!"**

Bard nearly laughs his head off but strums away. He's enjoying this impromptu fantasy.

I'm hiding my face and wishing for cyanide.

Terra spins and does a booty-shake that emphasizes a birth mark on her garter'd thigh, exposed frillily to the whiskey-gurgling masses. ""I'm looking for a maaa-aaaa-nnnnn to fit my pla---aaa---nnnn on the prairieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

"Wooohooo!"

"Yip! Yip! Yip!"

"Yeeeee-ha!"

Bard plays on in a psyhotic euphoria that I'm not even sure he's sane enough to acknowledge.

And---

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

--…Raven carries on the next verse, waving a potted plant above her happily frazzled head like a showgirl hat.

"Yoddddelay-heeeeeeeeee!" She squeals and kick-steps: "Hopped off the train and wouldn't you know? I fell right into a heap of snow! They dropped me in the Yukon 'stead of Dallasssssssssssss!"

Raven spins girlish circles a'giggling around the numb Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Terra. A southern accent melodically (if you can interpret it as such) echoes throughout the lopsided atmosphere of the place.

"I had to hitch a horse that was Mormon **twice-divorced**!" She tosses the potted plant into the kitchen sink. (CRASH!) "And golly was my rump sure calloussssss'd…." She pats her feminine tush suggestively, sticks a tongue out, and spins into another can-can. "EVERYBODY---"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"**I'VE GOT NOTHING IN MY BRITCHES BUT EIGHTEEN STITCHES AND A FOLDING KNIFE 'STEAD OF A FATBACKKKKK!"**

The entire saloon full of white vocal cords rumbles in alcoholic ecstasy.

Bard is stomping his foot in cadence with Terra's girl-steps as he strums the heartbeat of the chorus into high gear. He sings along with a goofy grin fit to assassinate Fidel Castro.

"**OH LORDY HELP ME CUZ I'M A PRAIRIE DOG GALLLLLLLLLY!"**

Bard looks my way and winks. "Come on, Noirry! Whistle to the tune!"

I splash the glass of water on my face and slam my red-skinned skull repeatedly into the bar counter. (Whap-Whap-Whap).

"**I'M LOOKING FOR A MAAA-AAAAA-NNNN TO FIT MY PLA-AAA-NNN ON THE PRAIRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"**

"Yeee-ha!" Terra spontaneously pulls a revolver from inside her corset and fires at an overhead chandelier.

BLAM! BL-BLAM!

The rest of the saloon joins in with hats, bullets, whiskey bottles, and other random paraphernalia of spaghetti Italian-ness tossed towards the ceiling.

Bard drinks it all in with a merry laugh… …until one of the stray bullets suddenly breaks a string on his guitar.

**TWINGGGGG!**

Bard's eyes widen.

I gasp.

The entire saloon turns dead quiet… …and at the very same moment—

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"LUUUUU-UUUU-UUUUKE!" Raven growls with a manly furrow to her brow. She pushes aside a pair of invisible 'saloon doors' and marches bow-legged out from behind the kitchen counter.

A shivering Terra and a trembling Beast Boy hide behind a dazed Cyborg as they all watch the possessed girl approach them and murmur in a southern-swaggery-masculine voice of over-emphasized gruffiness:

"I'm callin' you out, Luke!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"I thought I done told you to never show your yellow hide in Dodge City again!" The voice growls from the front of the saloon, where there are three dark shadows and a rising fume of gunsmoke.

A gasping Starfire holds a lacey hand over her mouth and cowers half-naked behind a frustrated Terra.

Bard is somewhere between disgruntled and confused.

But ever so slowly pissed. I can smell it off his cowboy hat.

"Hey! I'm talkin' to you, Luke! We're gonna settle this right now!"

I turn slowly to look who the heck we're dealing with this time. And like a good 'Little Squirrel', I cringe…


	30. Tumbleweeds 5

I was having a ball and got caught up in the moment. A little bit too much, it turned out. It wasn't the song. Anyone with a single working ear knew it bordered on absolutely horrible. But it wasn't about that. It was about the music and the people and the appreciation and the atmosphere. I loved it.

But it was cut short. The guitar I held was ruined, a bullet through it's neck. I held onto it anyway as I stared at the group of men just inside the doorway. And at the front-

"Hey! I'm talking to you, Luke! We're a gonna settle this right now!" Robin growled and gestured with his pistol. His eye mask was intact, but that's about all I recognized about him. He wore a black cowboy hat, boots, chaps and leather vest.

"Si," Cyborg hulked beside him in a long poncho and sombero. "Es hora para usted de morir."

I stood up.

"You know what? I know a little Spanish myself, amigo!"

Cyborg sneered at me.

"Oh yeah?" He said, his voice heavy with accent.

"Yeah. EL!" I jumped off the stage and onto a table, glasses and whiskey flying everywhere. I reared back the broken guitar and jumped to another table, advancing.

Robin let out a shot, the bullet whizzing by my ear. He turned to his posse.

"Get him!"

His ruffians rushed me. The first one to reach me probably wished he didn't.

"KABONG!"

**WHACK!**

The guitar body splintered over his head. He crashed to the floor, wearing the broken instrument like a collar.

Robin and Cyborg and the rest of the posse opened fire with their six shooters.

**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!**

I jumped sideways off the table, rolled under another one and found myself behind the piano. The other patrons ran away at the first chance. Virgil the bartender ducked under his bar and Terra and Kori hid behind the curtain.

Noir blurred up on the stage.

"Squirrel!" Robin pointed. "Kill him, too!"

The posse changed their aim.

**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!**

Noir blured up on myrk, swung from the chandalier high above and landed in a crouch on the railing of the second story. He flipped amidst the gunfire and crashed into the edge of a table, sending the other half up to smash into three ruffians' faces.

Good ole Noir...

The piano I hid behind had rollers on the bottom. I put my shoulder into it and gave it a huge push before jumping up on it myself. The piano rolled through tables and chairs as I drew my laser pistol...now a real pistol...from the holster at my side. I held my arm out vertically to steady my aim.

**BLAM!**

A bandit clutched his wrist as I shot his gun out of his hands.

Another bandit had a rifle pined on me, using a chair as a prop for a good shot.

**BLAM!**

I shot off a leg of the chair and he lost his balance, tumbling to the floor.

I spied another bandit behind the bar, his gun pointed in Noir's general direction as he whacked two more ruffians with his myrk...rain stick.

**BLAM!**

**CR-CR-CR-CR-CR-CRASH!**

I shot the shelf behind him and heavy liquor bottles poured down on him.

I almost lost my balance when the piano suddenly stopped rolling. Cyborg stood in front of me, his huge arms holding the piano back.

"Got you now, gringo...!"

I held up my hands, surrendering.

Or acting to.

**BLAM!**

I shot straight up at the ceiling. The metal rope ahead untwined faster and faster until-

**CRASH!**

The chandelier fell right on top of Cyborg, driving him to the floor.

"Oof!"

A bandit jumped into me from the side, flinging me off the piano. We rolled across the floor grappling until I got my hands on a heavy glass mug and smashed him over the head with it.

**SHATTER!**

I stood up just in time to block a fist from another. I grabbed it, spun and slammed him through a table.

Noir slid blurring down the railing on the balls of his feet and jumped kicked two bandits through the front window.

**CR-CRASH!**

Robin looked around from the doorway, seeing his posse beat. He glared at me.

"You just made a big mistake, hombre!" He looked around at him men. "Come on, you dogs. We're leaving." He pointed at me. "You'll regret this, Luke."

When they were gone, Virgil peeked his head out from under the bar.

"Are...they gone?"

"Yep, they're gone."

He stood up and looked around.

"Phew doggy! This place is a mess. Miss Roth is gonna have a heart attack..."

"Whoa!" Out of nowhere, Kori threw herself into my arms.

"My hero!" She crooned. "How can I _ever_ thank you?" She fluttered her eyelashes as me.

I was tongue tied.

"Um...well..."

Noir whistled shrilly. He stared at me with his arms folded irritatedly across his chest.

"Of course!" Terra said, coming out of hiding as well. "You helped, didn't you?" She patted him on the head like a child.

Noir fumed.

TTTTTTTTTT

Raven tossed herself in Terra's surprised arms.

"My hero!" Raven crooned. She looked lustfully at Terra and fluttered her eyelashes. She hugged her tight. "How can I _ever_ repay you?"

Terra paled.

"B-Beast Boy! Get her off me."

"...in a second."


	31. Tumbleweeds 6

Robin sits a space away from Static inside the power compartment of the Tower. He folds his gloved arms and sighs before continuing with a hum-drum speech:

"Nearly a year ago, when my teammates discovered I had been playing the part of Red X without telling them, it nearly lost me my place as team leader. I was almost even considering stepping down from this position. It doesn't even matter if I was using the whole tactic as a way to get closer to finding Slade. What matters is that I broke my teammates' trust and made it even worse on myself later when Slade coerced me into 'working' for him."

Static merely nods. "Yeah. I think I remember a thing or two about that in the paper." He gestures. "Slade put deadly nanomachines inside the bloodstream of your teammates to force you to do his bidding—"

"That all happens later," Robin breathily dismisses and sighs on: "What's even worse about my Red X days is that I was so desperate to catch Slade that I experimented in the worst, most unstable technology imaginable to achieve my ends."

"Xenothium," Static murmurs. "I knew that was tough stuff from the start of our pursuit of Chang's 'school'."

"Well, we didn't expect his 'students'," Robin mutters. "Chang and I go way back. He's been.. …. …exceptional in assisting my technological needs. The birdarangs and R-Cycle fuel and sword metal—"

"Sword metal?"

"What? You've never seen me make a katana out of the birdarang 'wings'?"

"…. .. …."

"Ya know.. …That one time we fought Plasmus? Two days after you first joined the team?"

"…. …."

Robin sighs: "Never mind. Anyways, Chang has worked with me a lot in the past. He was someone I could trust the Xenothium secret with. But I was so blindly mistaken… …"

"You're telling me he wasn't always evil?"

"For as far as I'm concerned, evil goes all the way to gene one," Robin's eyemask narrows as he speaks. "He just didn't show his true colors until many months later when I suddenly found my suit stolen and needed to know where the thief may have taken it. You see—we can't always erase the sins of our past, Virgil. Xenothium can only be exhausted through energy distribution. It cannot be **destroyed**. The only choice I had after the Titans found me out was to seal that Red X suit away in a vault deep beneath the Tower and guard it with the greatest security that Cyborg and I could mutually piece together."

"Why didn't ya.. … ..ya know… …--?"

"What?"

Static smiles nervously: "Just wear the Red-X suit with the 'Robin' eyemask for the next few battles and use up the Xenothium deposits doing something worthwhile? Like takin' it to the criminals' faces!"

"No could do," Robin shakes his head. "There was a lot messing with my head while I used the Red X suit, and it was more than just an obsessive hunt for Slade."

"Ya sure, man?"

Robin momentarily glares. He goes on: "The Red X suit was filled to the brim with Xenothium; more than that which could be operated manually. The only way a suit like that could be operated would have been through—"

"Lemme guess," Static raises a hand and winces the whole time he utters: "A Neurological Sync Plug."

Robin nods. "When I wore that suit, the suit and I were like one body and one mind. It was an extension of myself in every manner of comprehension. And in all honesty, it takes a meditative, rigidly structured mindset to properly fuse with that thing."

"Which would be you, naturally," Static winks.

Robin goes on: "My years of learning from the greatest detective in the world has taught me all about mental composure. I can't say I've been perfect—but when it came to 'piloting' that suit, I used every cognitive technique I knew. For anyone else who hijacks the suit and plans on using it… ..well—"

"You don't have to explain it to me, Robin," Static nods. "You're likely one of the few souls in this world who could possibly fill Red-X's shoes."

"Anyone else would become a slave to the suit," Robin runs a hand through his hair and keeps his voice low. "All she or he would know is an insatiable desire to consume more and more Xenothium—the central power of the suit. And—sure enough—the thief of the Red X suit has exhibited just that. Because of the tech that I left lying around in a vault, a high-stakes robber who otherwise would have had a potential chance at rehabilitation is now caught within the grips of unquenchable Xenothium-thirst. And now, that very same 'X-zombie' is in the merciless hands of my former distributor of evil toys.. …"

"Robin….you can't keep blaming yourself for the avaricious actions of others," Static shrugs. He points with a slight frown: "And you sure as Hell can't keep lurking in the shadows and moping about it!"

"I'm **not** moping."

"Well…erm…You're in the shadows!"

"…. …I am **always** in the shadows."

Static sweatdrops. "Eheheh…y-yeah…."

"The power's back on," Robin gestures. "I don't have to delay anymore. I'll do some research, patch a call in to the Jump City Penitentiary, and see if the four metahumans we captured are good for interrogation. Pffft…not like it'll really **matter**."

Robin starts to walk towards the door when Static blocks him.

"Uh uh uh! Sir, aren't you forgetting **another** duty that needs being done?"

"Huh?"

"Starfire--!"

"Starfire is more than capable of taking care of herself, now if you'll excuse me—"

Static moves in his way again. "There's no arguing **that**, dawg! But be real for an instant! Starfire may just be so desperate that she **will** take care of things herself, **alone**."

Robin's eyemask narrows. "What do you mean.. …?"

"Call it electric intuition….," Static smirks. "But I get the feeling that Starfire's going to skip town one way or another to take care of that which is worrying her."

"And just what **is** worrying her?"

"Jeez! You don't listen to much when it ain't singing to your tune, do ya Robin?" Static gestures. "She thinks one of the creeps we battled at Chang's frigate was a Tamaranian! Heck, she's downright **sure** about it!"

"… ….but that's impossible," Robin murmurs. "Only she and Blackfire have visited Earth. Every other Tamaranian has followed the princess' instruction and fallen back to see to the reconstruction of the planet's royal infrastructure under the rule of Galfore—"

"Well, you tell her that!" Static shakes his head. "Cuz that ain't the way she seems to be seein' it! She's afraid, distraught, exhausted---and, dang it Robin…just go talk to her! It ain't that hard, is it?"

"Why me?" Robin asked in too much of a barking voice for his own good.

Static blinks at him. "Well, I thought…. ..I-I just thought…."

"Thought what?"

"… … … … …never mind," Static sighs. He starts to head towards the automatic doors of the room. "Guess I'm still a rookie after all."

Robin rubs his temples. "Static, I know what you've probably heard coming in here—"

"You so sure, man?"

"But Starfire and I.. ….," Robin turns and folds his arms. A tyred smile crosses his lips. Subtly. "… ….It's nothing like the papers say or the superheroes gossip about."

"And why not, man?"

"I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"Try me."

Robin opens his mouth, pauses, then falls back against the wall with a slump and a sigh: "Things change… …"

"… …yeah, I can dig that," Static nods. "Don't really get it, but I'll dig it."

"That's all I ask."

"Heh…how 'generous' of you," Static says. He turns to leave, but the doors open ahead of him—

SWISSSSH!

And a drunken, rosy-cheeked Raven slumps in and clamors all over Static's chest.

"HIC—Whatt'rrrruuuuthink'rrrrrrdoinnnn THROWIN ME OUT! HIC! I've not even begunnnnn to driiiiink! Ha ha ha—YEEEHA!"

"Do not want—DO NOT WANT" Static tries to disentangle himself from her in a panicky breath.

"Hang on—HANG ON!" Cyborg rushes in, followed by a frantic Terra and Beast Boy. He hoists the reeling Raven off of Static and clears his throat. "Sorry about that, bro. She's kinda sorta not herself right now."

Static straightens his shirt and goggles. "Yeah, I don't think my pants are much what they used to be either!"

"HIC—I've only had ONE GLASS! I reckon that's enough to keep your filthy cows from squirtin' unwanted milk but I'M ROOTIN' FOR A NIGHT ON THE GULCH! Ha ha ha—SOMEONE HOLD MY BOOTS!"

Cyborg quietly ushers the cackling Raven towards the far side of the room.

Robin casually walks up, clears his throat, and glares at Beast Boy and Terra. "… …what did you do?"

"Dude! First thing you see Raven going berserk and you always blame it on me! Twice as much since Trigon bit the dust!"

"I'm serious, Beast Boy," Robin points. "Why is my number one magic-elemental Titan suddenly sounding like Buddy Epsen on Ecstasy?"

Beast Boy and Terra look at each other. They squirm and sweat…

"**Well?**"

"W-We were…," Terra gulps and smiles cutely. "K-Kinda sorta hoping you could tell us."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"I SAID STOP TRYIN' TO THROW ME OUT!" The bearded gold digger fought and wrestled in half-naked hilarity. "I KNOW WHEN I'M INCOMPETENITIVE!" HIC!"

"For the last time…," Virgil hisses and shoves the drunkard out of the front doors of the saloon. "STAY OUT! Ya varmint…."

"Ooof—" THUD! Outside pigs squeal and make sloppy noises as their hooves carry them far away.

Virgil sighs, dusts his hands off, and proceeds to go about cleaning and wiping down the bar of the candle-lit saloon. Nighttime has fallen, covering the faux desert with a twicely-faux purple haze. It feels like a cheap Star Trek set under blacklight. Only by the sheer quantity of dust and leather tanning smells do I feel like this is legitimately something close to a 'Wild West' scenario.

But how the heck did we get here?

Right now, my tall friend Bard—or 'Luke'—is attempting to find out. He sits comfortably between the girlishly squatting figures of 'Kori' and Terra on a set of bar stools. At least, I think he's trying to find some information out.

Yeesh… …I wonder if he gets all that libido from plucking strings…

"The way you showed the Black Robin and El Maquino! That was sooooo braaaaave!"

"Hehehehe! Fancy sharp-shootin', stranger! You reckon you're good with guns of **all** caliber?"

"Heheh…depends on what kind trigger it is, I suppose," Bard shrugs.

Virgil polishes a glass from across the bar counter and smirks. "Say, stranger. You and your red friend are welcome to stay the night. Free on the house!"

"Well, gee thanks, mister--… …Generic Bartender With Static's Skin."

"Heh, I owe it to you for the way you faced off those no good varmints from earlier. I tell you--!" Virgil moved chairs around and blew a few candles out. "The Black Robin and El Maquino are the terror of this town! They're even worse than them ravaging injuns—No offence, kiddo."

I wave a tyred hand and resume trying to doze off… ….

"Well, where's the sheriff?" Bard asks.

Virgil sighs. "Strung up worse than a horned toad in a…. …. ….with a…. …. …-h-horned toad that hasn't eaten in…. …. …. …horned….toad… .. .. … …. ….ergh….Well, heh, you get the idea."

"Heh…," Bard winks as 'Kori' and Terra cuddle closer on his lap. "Reckon I do."

I make an annoying, grating noise by carving a bone necklace piece into the tabletop.

Bard winces at that, and wisens up with a clearing of the throat. "Do pardon the rudeness, ladies. But the sun's set and it's high time you two had your beauty sleep, don't you think?"

"Awwww…But we want to hear more stories about Luke the Drifter's adventurin'!" Terra bubbles.

A sultry Kori lisps: "And it would be a shame for my bed to be cold tonight."

Bard falls off his stool. **WHAM!**

"Oh!"

"Oooooh—Mister Luke! Are you all right?"

"F-Forgot for a second there that I only had **two** legs for standin'," he hobbles up to his feet and dusts his pants off with his cowboy hat. "Ahem. Seriously, ladies. We need to do drifter stuff. Y'all go on up there and rest."

"Okaaaaaaaaaaay."

"But we'll be missssssiiiiiing youuuuu!"

"See ya later cowboyyyyy! Hehehe!"

"Tee hee!"

Virgil shakes his head with a knowing smile. He wanders off to the far side of the saloon, leaving us in the flickering-amber-dark.

Bard gazes up at the stairwell as the two showgirls vanish. Then he settles down besides me at the table. "Okay, so—like—I know this is nothing but some wyrd hallucination that we're both in and not the real deal.. …"

I smile dazedly and nod at him.

What was your first clue?

"But… …I can't help but wonder what it all has got to do with Raven.. …"

I motion a few hand-signs in the air.

Bard makes a wyrd face. "What? How would this all be her way of 'getting back at me'?"

I shrug. I hand-sign some more.

"Last night was nothing! We just—ya know—tossed a couch or two and caused the power in the Tower to go out…eh heh heh," Bard sweatdrops. He lets loose a cough and adds: "Besides, Raven's above this. There's got to be something incidental here. And something tells me it has a lot to do with me, ya know?"

I point at him.

"Yup. I mean, I know about the story of Luke the Drifter. Raven doesn't—Or at least, I can't imagine that underneath all that blue velvet and gothy skin there's a Calamity Jane!"

I can't help it. I snicker breathily at that.

"Ah! There! You see?" He smirks and points at my face. "Even you can enjoy this wyrdness too!"

I roll my eyes.

"Seriously, if all we're going to run into is chaos, then we'd might as well make the best of it. Though, I reckon there's a point to all of this, and we can't just take it all like some game. None of the other Titans seem to be recognizing us, but if we can find Raven, I bet that would clear things up a smidgeon."

"Oh? Raven?" Virgil calls out from the stagefront. "You don't mean Lady Raven?"

I do a double-take.

So does Bard: "You know where we can find her?"

"Pffft—Fat chance any strange roamin' folk like yourselves can pay her a visit!" Virgil laughs. "I don't care how schmancy and heroic y'all are!"

Bard hops up to his feet. "Show us where she is and I'll tell you where in Kansas to dig for oil wells!"

Virgil makes the face. "What in the Sam-Hill is an 'oil well'?"

"Trust me. It'll be a good thing!"

"… … …well alright," Virgil casts us a strange eye. "As long as it'll get yer strange faces out of my saloon for a spite."

"Hey.. …," Bard half-bows. "What do roamers do?" He glares aside at me and kicks me in the ankle.

I sigh. I apathetically wave a tomahawk over my head.

And as if I had just summoned an entire army of savages, a tumult of whoops and cries and gunfire echo from outside the saloon. We all hear screams and yelps as an aura of flame surrounds the Western Town to the low rumbling bass of horses' hooves.

"What in tarnation---?" Bard starts before he can stop himself.

"INJUNS!" Virgil yelps and hides behind the counter.

"Injuns! Injuns!" we hear feminine exclamations howl from above.

I flinch helplessly.

"… …oh right," Bard scratches his head and glances at an invisible watch that isn't there. "I suppose it is time for a second act."

I take a deep breath, motion with my hand, and dash out the saloon doors.

He nods and twirls his pistol while pursuing. "Right after you, Little Squirrel!"

Dang it!


	32. Tumbleweeds 7

I followed Noir out into the dusty western street. Kori and Terra clamored out as well, peeking from behind us at the 'savages'. Other townspeople were running into the nearest buildings and locking the doors behind them.

On the hill just outside of the city were a hundred Indians holding bows and a few rifles, seated on unsaddled horses. The chief stepped his white roan forward. He had a large headdress filled with feathers mounted on his head and familiar green skin.

Beast Boy whooped loudly, getting everyone's attention. Terra, Kori and Noir winced.

Beast Boy signed.

_'Luke! I heard you were in town and came to see you. How are you, you slimy dog?'_

Terra blinked.

"What's he doing?"

"Indians refuse to defile their mouths by speaking in our tongue, so they fashioned a sign language to communicate with us." I answered. "It's talking with your hands."

Kori's green eyes were wide.

"What's he saying?"

I couldn't help myself.

"He says this town was built on sacred Indian burial grounds. He says it is an affront to their ancestors-" Noir pulled on my sleeve, but I waved him off. "He says if we don't move immediately, his clan will burn this town to the ground."

Kori gasped.

"How awful! Can't you talk them out of it?"

I put on a grim face.

"I can try."

I looked up at the green Indian chief and signed back.

_'It's good to see you, old friend! Could you do me a favor?'_

_'Maybe. What do you want?'_

_'Just play along. Get your men to act angry.'_

At once the Indian whooped and yelled and shot off their rifles.

"They still want to burn the city. I'm trying to talk them out of it."

My fingers arced through the air again.

_'Point to the two girls beside me. Act as if you want them.'_

_'Act?'_

Nevertheless, Beast Boy looked at Terra and Kori and whistled appreciatively. He wagged his eyebrows at them suggestively. I had to turn away to fight down a grin and saw Noir rolling his eyes at me. Meanwhile, Kori and Terra weren't smiling.

"W-what did he say?"

I looked at them seriously.

"He says he'll spare the city if the two of you agree to be his slaves."

"What?"

"Don't worry." I assured them. "I won't let that happen."

Noir shook his head incredulously.

"But how can you?" Kori asked. "There's so many of them! You can't protect us!"

"Let me try to talk them out of it."

Beast Boy was already signing again.

_'Are we finished?'_

_'Almost. Send down one of your men with a pair of horse for Noir and I and we'll go.'_

Kori watched the lone Indian coming towards us, leading a pair of horses.

"What's going on?"

"They've agreed to spare the town if I can pass the Indian Test of Bravery."

"What's that?"

I steeled my shoulders dramatically.

"They heat a knife over a fire and hack off your ear. If you don't make a sound, you pass."

"Oh!" Both girls teared up and hugged me tightly.

Noir buried his face into his hands.

The Indian reached us with the horses and I gently pulled away.

"You girls be good now, ya hear?"

I motioned to Noir and both of us mounted a pony.

Behind us, Terra and Kori were sniffling.

"T-there goes the bravest man I've ever met...!"

Noir wretched.

We trotted up the narrow slope and fell in on either side of Beast Boy. We pushed out horses into a canter.

"What the hell was that all about?" He asked me.

"Hehehe. Just having a little, Garfield."

"Shhhhhhhh!" Garfield exploded, waving his hands. "You can't call me that in front of the clan! I have a reputation to uphold, ya know."

"Right. What's your chief name again?"

"Savage Beast."

Noir snickered.

Together, we galloped across the prairie under the night sky. Not long later, we crossed a shallow stream into Garfield's...Savage Beast's...Beast Boy's territory. I caught my breath.

The place was perfect. It was a dark, vibrant glade with full green trees all around. The trees seemed to lean forward, holding their branches up protectively over the place. A pot boiled over a fire in the middle of a stand of tents. I heard the night sounds and the stream bubbling euphorically nearby.

I whistled.

"You sure do know how to pick the most beautiful spots."

"Yeah." Beast Boy grumbled. "And you people keep stealing them from us. I swear, next time I'm gonna find the most god awful swamp to live in. Maybe then you people will leave us the hell alone." He gestured. "It's chilly tonight. Come warm yourself by the fire."

I stopped.

"...I'm not cold. Ahem. So who's trying to take your land this time?"

Beast Boy spit.

"A couple of bastard mongrels that call themselves Black Robin and El Maqino. And white people think us Indians have weird names."

Noir signed.

"Where are they now?" Beast Boy repeated. "They got a camp a couple miles deeper in the woods. They won't be bothering us tonight."

"Why not?"

He shrugged.

"I hear they kidnapped some woman from town and plan to use her for ransom. Miss Raven's a fighter, though, so they probably have their hands full just containing her."

Noir and I looked at each other.

"_Who!"_


	33. Tumbleweeds 8

"Pass… …the… …smoking… …stick….," Raven sits cross-legged on the floor of the engine room and holds up a hand with a heinously straight-face. "I am Chief Savage Beast. This is… …my cousin.. With Cowtails… … …And meet my Nephew.. … …Born On a Buffalo.. …."

The Titans watch, standing in single-file. A collective scratching of the noggins ensues between them all. All the while, the blue-haired victim rambles on possessedly:

"Please. Take these beads. They are… …adorned with.. ….the story of how my people.. … …fought back the Spaniards… .. ..with arrowheads made from our forefather's teeth…."

As Raven continues to…..'suck' on an invisible pipe, the others look at each other.

"Okay, so Raven is enacting every pathetic stereotype known to man," Beast Boy whispers. "How soon is the world going to end this time?"

Cyborg mutters: "I'd say we're fine until she starts doing Italians—or worse—the Swedish."

"Guys!" Terra hops up. "She's in a pickle! We've got to do something!"

"I'd say we could all start by picking up the litter around here," Beast Boy gestures. "I've only seen Raven cry once in our career, it's not worth a second time. On television—even."

"Dude, what the Hell you smokin'?" Static hisses.

"Don't you have a lava lamp somewhere to keep company?"

"Let me tell you something, elf-nuts—"

"Shhh—Everyone," Robin holds a hand up. "Listen…."

Everyone tunes in as Raven performs a tribal gesture and speaks to an invisible face: "Luke, the person you seek is being held by that land-grabbing gang in Mud Valley—The site of an old, abandoned mine. I believe it is where the white man has sought their precious 'gold' before. A curse upon that wretched metal for bringing so much pain and pestilence here!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Bard, 'Savage Beast', and I sit around the campfire in the center of the Indian camp… …pow-wow.. …. …. ….('reservation'?)

"You mean to say that the Black Robin and El Maquino are setting up house in an abandoned gold mine?" Bard raises an eyebrow while polishing his pistol.

The 'indian' Beast Boy nods in the flickering firelight under the stars. "Yes. The white man is a creature of obviousness, is he not?"

"He's a creature prone towards working at cubicles and envying basketball skills," Bard winks. "Heh heh heh," he looks my way. "This is getting funner by the second, you reckon?"

I exhale from where I sit with my animal-teeth-necklace and body paint. I must admit. It's hard for me to keep a straight face.

'Savage Beast' indeed. Since when did the Cherokee have pointed ears—

"Little Squirrel," a tribesman passes me a pipe. "The smoking stick. You are our brother. Surely you know what to do with this."

I nod.

I toss it across the campfire into Bard's unwitting hands.

'Luke the Drifter' grabs the pipe, smiles nervously, and puts it to his lips. "D-Don't mind if I do… …" He puffs, coughs much more violently than even I could have predicted, and tries to compose himself with a Southern breathiness to his haggard breath: "S-So.. …snkkkt-rrghhaackkk….ahem. What's so important about this 'Raven' girl?"

Bard glances aside at me as he speaks.

I share his glance, trying to keep at least half of a sane brain within the 'real world'.

"You do not know?" 'Savage Beast' blinks. "Surely you must know of this special Raven's prestige and standing!"

"I know she can toss a guy off a couch if she feels the notion."

"…… ….huh?"

I cough breathily.

Beast Boy goes on: "Many moons ago, the prospectors of white man established this village of theirs across the river for grazing their cattle. A large merchant trade business flourished—especially with the arrival of those looking for gold—and the prospector became very powerful. His very daughter is Raven, a young woman of honorable prestige and—"

"Whoah—Hold on! Time out!" Bard holds his hands up perpendicular to each other and snakes over to where I'm sitting.

He leans in.

I lean in.

He whispers: "If Raven is really Raven and not just some psuedo-Raven, it may be the first time we've made any progress in this wyrdo hallucination."

I look at him. I blurringly hand-sign.

He slaps my red brow with a cowboy hat. "YES….Of COURSE we're here for more than just sight-seeing!" He glances around at the stars, the campfire, the smoke and haze and nostalgia. "… …as purtiful as the sights may be…."

I frown.

He snaps out of it. "Of course. Ahem…So—I reckon if we track down this 'Raven', it may give us a bunch of answers. I mean---look at all the other Titans here. So far, they've all been playing nothing but rolls in this story. Just like you and me. But we got here by going into Raven's room. Maybe she's the end of all this?"

I shrug. I hand-sign to him.

He nods: "Just what I'm thinking. We've got to play this shin-dig through. But without hurting anyone. The only way we know that this all ain't real is just how cheesy the whole damn thang is. I mean… …EVERY Indian campsite in a movie is belt next to a stream, you reckon?"

I smirk ever so slightly. A beat. I look over his shoulder. He also looks.

'Savage Beast' and the rest are all staring at us.

"… … …what are you doing to Little Squirrel?"

Bard glances at himself… ..notices how he's leaning over my shirtless figure, clears his throat, and crawls back to his spot around the campfire. "Ahem… …" He's almost as 'red' as me. "You kind Plains-folk think you might share with us exactly where this big, bad gold mine is?"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Static glances aside at Cyborg. "'Luke'? 'Little Squirrel'? 'Savage Beast'? Just who are these punks?"

"Raven's obviously having a deep, invigorating conversation with herself."

"Does she do that?" Static shrugs and scratches the back of his neck. "I mean.. …she does have a bunch of demon stuff in her head. Does dissociative personality count—"

"It's not like that!" Cyborg barks.

"Yeesh! Sorry for existing!"

"Sounds like a Western's going on in her head," Terra says. A beat. She helplessly giggles. "Hehehe…interesting choice. I like it."

"Hmmm mmmm….," Robin strokes his chin.

"Got an idea, Robbie?"

"… … …," Robin glances over at the other Titans. "Where's Bard?"

Cyborg does a double-take. "H-Huh?"

"You heard me. The nooby. The cowboy. Where is he?"

"I-I don't know," Beast Boy shrugs. "Wrestling a bull somewhere?"

Static gasps and tries to snap his finger. Thip. "I know—" He pauses. "… .. …" He takes his glove off. He tries again. **Snap**! "I KNOW! I talked to him earlier!"

"And?"

"He was trying to meet Raven about something that happened last night. Looks like they had some bad apples between them and he wanted to set things straight."

"Oh yeah…hehehe," Beast Boy giggles. "I heard about that, dude! WHEW! Man did the stuffing fly!"

"Yeah.. …I was in the middle of the **sandwich**," Static growls.

"Eh heh heh.. …," Beast Boy scratches the back of his neck.

"So.. ….let me guess," Robin gestures. "Bard was on his way to—"

"Raven's room," Static nods.

"… .. ….," Robin glances aside towards Terra. "And where's Noir?"

"We.. …erm…s-sent him to Raven's room to get the book of Azar so that we might cure Raven's ramblings."

"… .. …and how long ago was that?"

"Whoah-damn… …," Cyborg's human eye widens.

A pause. Static tilts his head to the ceiling and throats: "Computer: Locate Titans Bard and Noir."

Cyborg elbows him: "Bro, it doesn't work that way!"

"Hey! Forgive a nerd for tryin'!" Static shrugs.

"Terra, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Static….," Robin walks over and gently pulls a 'pipe-smoking' Raven to her feet. "… … …I think it's about time we gave Raven's room a clandestine visit."

"Oh what joy this will be," Beast Boy murmurs.

"Stay.. …away….. …from the Bison.. ….when they give.. …to the earth," Raven deeply murmurs.

Then Beast Boy snickers.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

It is suddenly morning time.

Luke—er---Bard and I are horseriding over a hill with Savage Beast and two other faux native Americans on horseback.

"There it is.. …the white man's Gold Hole."

I cringe.

"Really, Beast Boy," Bard sighs and glares aside. "Can't you drop the McCarthy Era written stereotype speech and just say 'Abandoned Gold Mine'?"

"Who is this 'Beast Boy' you keep entreating?"

"Oh, how could you POSSIBLY reckon?" Bard dismounts as I hop down beside him. "How do you like my sarcasm?" He whispers aside to me.

I wave a hand from side to side---and trip on a prairie dog hole. WHAM!

The Indians on horseback laugh.

I groan mutely into the dirt and wait there as Bard walks up and looks through an antique viewing scope. "Hmmm mmm…. …Looks like the place hasn't been touched for years.. …" In the morning light of dawn, he examines the sunken, muddy ravine carved into the Kansas earth. The rickety mine car tracks erected on splintery wooden supports. The scant few militant gang members patrolling the various wooden platforms of the earthen pit. There's a small, wooden shack atop the topmost rise. There's no sign of the Black Robin or El Maquino. Much less—

"If Miss Raven's to be had anywhere in there, I reckon she's being kept someplace relatively clean," he says. He turns around and smiles at the Indians. "Everyone in the old west has a streak of gentlemanly nature in 'em, right? Heh heh heh—"

**POW!**

Ping! His cowboy hat is shot off his head from a long ranged rifle.

He and I gasp and duck behind the earth.

The two Indians on horseback whoop and ride off. Savage Beast's ears droop as he guides his steed around and speedily follows them. "Savage Beast says white man is screwed! To Incan Hell with this crap!"

**POW! P-POW! POW!** Bullets ricochet off the dirt hill around us.

We flinch all the more.

The gang members hiss and holler from beyond at rifle-range: "Come on out of there, Luke! Ya yellow-bellied sonuvabitch!"

"We've got our sights on ya!"

"Stop hiding and fight like a man!"

"Okay… ..Okay….," Bard sweats and breathes to himself. "What would Clint Eastwood do?"

I hand-sign.

Bard hisses: "Man, I hate Mystic River! No siree—I never touch a singled damned thing with Sean **Penis** in it!"

I roll my black eyes—

PING!

Flinching, Bard readies his pistol and murmurs: "Well, we could test out just how much this lil western thang of ours goes by the book. A guns-blazing ending always goes well for the protagonist, right?"

I gesture.

"Well of course, the white guys get out—Oh….," he bites his lip.

I fold my arms over my 'red' chest.

"Yeah…well….ahem…. …. ….Well shucks!"

I look towards the gold mine. "… … …" I glance down at my leather belt and tomahawks. "… … …" I smile. I glance at him.

He glances back at me and winces: "Ah jeez….what kind of plan do you have cookin' in that noggin of yours?"

I smile….


	34. Tumbleweeds 9

A high-caliber rifle bullet whizzed over my head and through my hat, sending it spinning in the air. I fell belly-first to the ground instinctively. Black Robin, El Maquino and their bandits shouted at us from their strategic points around the gold mine.

"Come out and fight like a man, Luke!"

"Have you turned yellow on us?"

I grit my teeth as bullets bit into the dirt around us. I crawled over to my hat, put it back on and shimmied over to a convenient, waist-high rock I could sit behind and use as cover. A bullet ricocheted off the back of it and rained rock shards and dust on the brim of my hat. Noir crouched beside me with a smile on his face that was half-smirk and half-determination.

I'd seen that smile before. It meant he was about to do something unexpected and, usually, badass. I knew better than to try to talk him out of it. I started to wave him on, but he was already on the move. He blurred across the open plain in front of the abandoned gold mine that Black Robin and his gang had hoped to lure us into so they could pick us off. But Noir was faster than they could believe.

My friend blurred across the plain like a black, smoky ghost. He zigzagged unevenly left and right to dodge the gunfire.

"Son of a bitch! I can't hit him!"

"What's that smoke stuff?"

"That's Little Squirrel! It's some kind of Injun magic, that's what it is!"

"Shut up and shoot him already!" Black Robin thundered.

I watched as Noir reached the mountain the gold mine was in. He started to blur up it, but he was stopped short as a bullet bored into the rock just where he would have been. He turned and saw Black Robin across the gully, grinning sadistically with yellowed teeth.

While all the attention was on Noir, I took the chance to run forward and hide behind another cover of rock, much closer than before.

The gunfire started back up. Noir channeled murk into his legs and jumped impossible high up onto another rocky platform. One of the bandits were there with a rifle, waiting for him. He swiveled and took aim at the swordsman.

**FWOOSH!**

Little Sq...I mean Noir didn't even bother attacking him. Instead, he simply phased right through him and kept moving. He leaped high over the gully, stuck his rain stick into the wall and used it as a vault to make it all the way across. He blurred his way up the water tower, catapulted off and landed in front of the brown, wooden shack built right into the mountain. Noir peered into a window, turned and signed at me.

_'Raven is inside.'_

He reared back and kicked down the door. He walked inside, out of my sight.

Well that was easy enough. Noir was too good to be a lowly sidekick for long. I hadn't had to do a thing.

I saw Noir walk back out, but his face looked different. And I soon saw why: Cyborg...El Maqino...stood behind with a shotgun poking into his back.

...Crap.

"I just lost the tiny bit of respect I had for you, Luke!" Black Robin yelled down at me. "You sent an Injun to do a real man's job! Pathetic."

A growl built in my throat before I even realized it.

"We got your little buddy and your purty girlfriend! You gonna come out and fight like a man now?"

My eyes narrowed.

You're damn right I will-

Wait. Did he say girlfriend?

A bullet ate into my previous cover further out on the plain. They must not have seen me move.

"I don't have all day, Luke boy! I'm gonna count to ten. If you ain't come out before I reach zero, I'm killin' the Injun. Then Miss Raven is next."

I ground my teeth together and fidgeted with my hat, thinking.

"Ten!"

I didn't have a whole heaping bunch of choices. I could either show myself-

"Nine!"

Or Noir and Raven would die. That was an easy choice.

"Eight!"

I pulled my pistol out of my holster from under my poncho. I clicked it open and made sure it was loaded fully.

"Seven!"

I snapped the bullet chamber closed and cocked back the hammer with my thumb.

"Six!"

I threw my poncho over my shoulder so it wouldn't get in the way.

"Five!"

I spit the chewing tobacco out of my mouth.

"Four!"

I gave a quick kiss for luck to the cross pendant around my neck.

"THREE!"

I tensed my legs under my hips, ready to move.

"_TWO!"_

"Here we go..." I mumbled under my breath. "Help me out, Clint."

"**ONE!"**


	35. Tumbleweeds 10

The shotgun is pressed into the nape of my neck at the advent of the Black Robin's final countdown.

"Tu vas a quierer el Diablo….," El Maquino winks evilly as he fingers the trigger.

I suppose I should be wondering why Bard hasn't been showing his butt by now. But I have about one third of a second before my 'injun' brains litter the muddy crags of the gold mine beneath me. I consider teleporting, phasing, wisping—Anything in all manner of smoky rapture to save myself from this high caliber bind. But even if I was to teleport away to safety—how 'safe' would that safety be until the rest of Black Robin's posse attempted turning me into a lead souvenir? And would they waste off Raven as a reprisal for my attempted escape? And just where is this 'Miss Raven' anyways, I—

The trigger pulls.

I wince all over against the shotgun.

Why couldn't I die on a Nickelodeon Game Show?

"EL MAQUINO! BLACK ROBIN!"

The shotgun lifts. Everyone gasps and mutters, turning with their rifles and pistols to face the voice of the sudden stranger. I glance with quivering black eyes to see the lone Drifter Luke mosey on out from behind the rock. His arms are up over his head. He is gloriously brave… …or gloriously stupid… .. ..but either way hideously unarmed.

The flying fluff are you doing, Bard?

"I'M HERE!" He shouts sweatily into the heat of the rising morning Sun. His eyes squint and his poncho flaps in the wind as he sets his dirt-grinding boots to a stop dead center of all the crooks' rifle barrels. "Let's settle some of this quarrelin' like grown men."

El Maquino glances worriedly aside at the Black Robin.

'Robin' leans down on a propped-up knee, tilts his heat back, and narrows his eyemask. "This some kind of dag-blamed trick, Drifter?"

Bard cricks his neck. He lets his head hang….hang…..lean to the side—

Fwump! His arms spread out from under his poncho—

Every crook jerks into a split-second firing position. Flinching.

"…. ….," Bard's hands are empty. "Can't you tell from there, blackbird? I'm unarmed as a newborn calf. You call me yellow-bellied? Well, you ask yourself if you're cowardly enough to shoot a man with no weapons."

The Black Robin smirks. "I ain't here to be a diplomat, Luke."

"You ain't here to be much of a good gentleman neither, Robin," Bard cracks his knuckles as they dangle by his side. The wind dies as he coldly adds: "Someday, you're gonna have to answer for that. It might me God that does you in, or it might be me." His eyes squint all the harsher. "But you better say your prayers that it's God."

A few crooks shake in their boots. Many an eye is cast helplessly towards the… ..the 'cowpoke' in black.

I glance at Bard. Then back at 'Robin'.

The bandit scratches the nonexistent stubble on his chin and murmurs: "I may not be a coward… …but I sure as Hell ain't stupid." Cl-Click! He readies a pistol from long range, aiming down at the lone Bard. "If you're fixin' to be hero today, I'm not obliged to give that to you, Luke. You're giving me an opportunity I just can't miss."

"An opportunity to do what, you reckon?" Bard chews on a spat of tobacco saved in the corner of his mouth. "Run off with the pretty girl of your dreams whose hand you could never win even if you proposed till the cows came home?"

Robin's lips curve ever so slightly. "I could care less about the pretty little darlin'."

Bard smirks. "Oh, so you're that kind of a cowboy!"

"Heh heh heh…," El Maquino chuckles.

Robin glares at him.

"Ahem…," Maquino clears his throat. "Mi malo…."

Robin gnashes his teeth and aims his pistol at 'Luke' again. "All right, Luke. You've been messin' around with my town one too many damned times!"

"Since when was it your town?"

"Since the Demon made a deal with me," Black Robin smirks. "You've met him before, haven't you?"

Bard says nothing.

I scratch my head slightly—before being shoved by Cyb—er—El Maquino. I growl mutely….

"Well, no biggie, I reckon," Black Robin cocks the hammer of the pistol back and squints through one aiming-eye. "The Sun has set on you for the last time, Luke!"

"This is a bad day to try and break the Ten Commandments, Robin," Bard says.

"Why the Hell not? Tuesday's my best day for committin' murder!"

Bard's lips curve. **"Tuesday's Gone With the Wind…"** His voice is a hum. And he clenches his fist just as his cross pendant around his neck glows and—

A gale.

**FWOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOSSSSH!**

A sandstorm sails up from behind him and blindingly splashes over the entire gold mine. A golden dust of chaos and tempest storms the entire scene. The crooks gasp and scream and thrash all bout as the magically-summoned wind throttles in and pounds them from all angles.

I hold my breath and summon a field of murk around me. It acts as an ice cutter and separates me from the particle locusts in a sort of personal cocoon. I take a few deep breaths and look about, flinching helplessly in my shirtless surprise.

I see the faint forms of flinching, squirming cowboys in the brown mist. Just a few feet away from me, two outlaws on the muddy cliffs overlooking the gold mine wrestle with themselves and try to keep the sandstorm out of their eyes.

Then suddenly—sailing coldly through the orange cloud—two bright blue ice shards impact with the thug's weapons. CL-CLANK! The men gasp and stumble back---And two more shards sail upwards with crystalline energy and ricochet off their heads. TH-THAP! The men collapse without fanfare.

And from my smoky shield, I smile to myself.

There's the Titan I know.. ….

SWISSSSSSSSSH! SW-SWISSSSSSSSH! More ice daggers fly up through the cloud. They slam against the shoulders and foreheads of the thugs. A few skewer a miscreant's ankle or two. Men yelp and flail dramatically off of the mine car bridges and into the muddy ravine below. Rifles are dropped as a few panicky cowpokes run off, screaming like bats in Hell.

I stand up straight. I glance to the side.

El Maquino is twirling around and around, trying in vain to 'beat off' the sandstorm with the length of his rifle. He growls and hisses and curses in Spanish.

I take a deep breath and clench my murking forearms….

Let it be said that this has no bearing whatsoever on my opinions over immigration… …

I run, I leap, I perform a flying jump-kick into his side with a burst of smoke.

**WHAM!**

"Madre de Pollo!" He sails off, lands in a mine car several feet below, and goes rolling chaotically into a mine shaft. **THUD!**

I land, pant, and look aside.

**BLAM!** A lucky thug aims at me through the mess of the sandstorm. A bullet whizzes towards my head.

My black eyes widen.

I don't think.

I reach to my belt and pull out the first and only thing I touch—

**CLANG!** A tomahawk deflects the bullet in my grasp. A smoking tomahawk.

"… … …," I suddenly smirk.

The crook reloads his rifle and takes aim at me again.

I hold my breath, run up a wooden mineshaft brace, bounce off, twirl, and toss the smoking tomahawk at him. **TH-TH-TH-TH-THWISSSSH!** The black blade twirls through the air, hits dead-center between his double-barrel rifle, and slices all the way back into the chamber as the gun goes off—

**POWWW!** The gun backfires in his face. He grasps his hands, yelping.

I land in a squat, smirking.

Clean the highways, butthead.

SWISSSH! SWISSSH! Icicles fly over me.

I blink. I turn behind me and look into the blinding dust of the sandstorm.

Black Robin is right behind me with his pistol—a pistol that is being knocked violently from his grasp before he can pull the trigger towards me. He clenches his fist and grits his teeth in momentary pain. Then his eyemask narrows in his hatred as he leaps for me.

I gasp and duck like an ostrich.

But just then, the sandstorm clears and—

"THIS IS WHERE YOU LOSE!" Bard windsails up through the clearing grit with a flying uppercut.

**WHOPPPP!**

The Black Robin falls back in the mud. His lip bleeds. He shakes his head and looks up—

**CHIIIING!** A sword of ice is summoned and aimed square at his throat as Bard leans over him.

"Say it.. ….," Bard hisses. "Go on, varmint, say it… …."

Black Robin gulps. He murmurs: "You're plum loco!"

"NO!" Bard grunts, then smiles and leans in. "The other part?"

Robin blinks under his mask. "Yeeha---?"

"**WRONGGGG!"** Bard slams his boot across the Robin's cheek.

**THWAP!**

"Nnnngh.. … …," Robin falls unconscious, lying in a heap of his own black suit.

Bard adjusts his poncho and picks up the Black Robin's pistol. He spits a tobacco wad on the outlaw's chest. "Them words are reserved for the hero, horned toad." He dusts off his hat, shakes more dirt off his pancho'd shoulder, and looks my way. "… ….what?"

I shrug. Helplessly smiling.

"Yeesh… ..We gotta get you a shirt," he walks past me.

I do a double take.

What does that mean?

I scamper and follow him towards the lone shack atop the now-vacant gold mine.

"No reason to shed blood, especially when it's a fantasy worth keeping me warm in my pajamas for a fortnight," Bard checks the bullet-cont in the pistol chamber and then clamps it shut with a spin. "I reckon they'll wake up wondering why we didn't send them to their Maker early."

I smile at him.

You're so badass.. ….

"Eh…what am I kidding?" He reaches the door, holding the pistol. "Nobody's waking up from this wyrd dream but you and me, huh?"

I snicker breathily and nod.

He winks and kicks the door in.

**WHAM!**

We both rush inside, at the ready.

"All right, Miss Raven! We've come to rescue you-----" Bard stops. He blinks.

I blink.

We both shudder helplessly and take a step back.

"Wh-Who.. … …Who in the blazes are you?"

There Raven is. Unconscious. In a fancy belle dress. Pale, but prettiful. But she's not standing or sitting…

She's dangling…

Dangling over the forearm of a massive, ten-foot tall behemoth in dark and crimson cowboy gear.

And the figure looks our way.

We can't see anything under the shadowing brim of his hat…

Except glistening white teeth…..Razor sharp.. …

And four equally sharp, red eyes glowing.

"**Heh heh heh…well if it isn't the boy with the pendant?"**

Bard shudders.

I glance aside at him.

Bard's hand shakily clutches his cross pendant.

The other hand tightens around the trigger of the pistol as he firmly aims it at the….

At the thing.

"Who…. …Wh-Who….?"

"**Who else, imp? Every nightmare needs its Demon."**

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Well.. ….here we be," Static shrugs as they enter Raven's blue-on-blue room. "So, where's the book of Azar or should we—?"

"Never mind that creepy 'ol book," Beast Boy scratches his pointy ears. "Where're Bard and Noir?"

"All right, folks," Robin tosses his arms and sighs. "That explains it. Guess who's doing laundry duty again?"

"Yeah…about that," Terra bites her lip and blushes slightly. "After last time, I kinda sorta lost track of my training br—"

"**RAGE"** Raven lisps. Her eyes flash open, and four red specks flare mightily from her forehead. Just at that moment, the mirror on her vanity rises up with four red orbs flickering and explodes in an aura of flickering black tentacles.

**FLAAAAAAAAAAASSSSH!**

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"** Cyborg drops Raven onto her bed and runs over into the corner to huddle with the howling Titans. **"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"**

Swisssh! Starfire somberly waltzes in. "Dear friends, I-I have an announcement to make—RIGHTEOUS FECAL MATTER!"


	36. Tumbleweeds Finale

Noir and I stood rooted in place just inside the doorway of the gold mine shack. The hellish figure in front of us was clothe in a black hat and trench coat. He called himself The Demon. It was a damn fitting name. I immediately pulled out the pistol I'd hidden on the small of my back.

The Demon ignored it.

"Heh, heh, heh. So you're the boy with the pendant, huh?"

I clutched at it with my free hand, but my gun arm didn't waver.

"The Chosen One who's destined to destroy _him_." He looked me up and down. "Huh...I doubt it."

"What are you talking about?" I yelled.

"Heheheh...and they didn't even tell you. How like them and their mysterious ways..." He held up Raven like a lifeless doll. "But enough of that...I 'reckon'. Hehehe. You're here for her, right? Well come and get her!"

The Demon turned and smashed through glass and wood. Noir and I clamored over to the huge hole in the wall and looked down. The Demon's coat fluttered around him as he fell over a hundred feet with Raven in his arms. He landed in a crouch, took a moment to reorrient himself and took off across the plain like a cheetah.

Noir and I stared, but then I snapped out of it.

"Quick! To the horses!"

Noir blurred and I flew out of the shack, down the mountain and across the gully to our horses. I landed just before reaching my horse, took two lumbering steps and vaulted into the saddle. I fought the reins briefly as my spooked horse circled, but then I drove my heels home and galloped off.

Noir had a little trouble. He jumped for the saddle and came up a little short. His foot got tangle up in the stirrups and he fell to the ground. He fumed for only half a second before turning to smoke and wafting up into the saddle that way. And we were off.

Our horses thundered after The Demon, their hoofs throwing up huge clots of dirt and dust. I leaned forward in my saddle as we drew closer. I pulled my pistol with one hand while holding on to the reins with the other. I pointed at The Demon, but feared shooting Raven by mistake. I cursed under my breath.

The Demon looked over his shoulder at us, sneered and ran even faster. Noir and I kicked our horses into a full gallop.

Suddenly, a lonesome whistle pierced the day and we saw black smoke coming from the horizon.

A train!

"Reckon I shoulda known..." I mumbled under my breath.

Despite the fact we were pushing out horses as hard as possible, The Demon once again pulled away from us. Sure enough, he headed straight for the train. He bounded beside it and, with a mighty leap, landed on the roof of a car. He turned to us and waved evilly with his free hand, still clutching Raven in the other.

"Noir, c'mon!" I shook the reins and dug my boots even harder into the horses haunches. Despite that, the train was slowly pulling away. "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon..." I chanted to myself.

We pulled just within distance of the last car.

"Noir!" I pointed. "Go!"

My Indian friend nodded and blurred onto the roof of the last car. Not it was my turn. I took a deep breath and jumped as well-

"ACK!"

I boot slipped in the stirrup just as I was making my jump. My body pitched sideways and I just grabbed on to the back railing of the last car. My boots th-th-th-th-thumped across the railroad pines between the metal tracks, rattling my whole body. With a mighty heave, I managed to pull myself up over the railing and fall unceremoniously onto the back balcony in a heap.

Noir poked his head over the roof at me. He signed.

_'What's taking so long?'_

"...Shush."

I stood up, jumped and grabbed the edge of the roof. Noir stood aside as I pulled myself up. I dusted myself off.

"Where is he?"

Noir pointed up ahead. The Demon waited on the very front car like...like a boss on a Double Dragon level or something. Behind him, he had Raven tied to the smokestack. Noir and I ran forward, hopping the gaps between the cars without breaking stride. We skidded to a stop in front of the evil cowboy.

Inside the lead car, the gray-haired engineer looked into his side mirror and saw the three of his on his train.

"Aiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

He jumped out the window and rattled across the speeding ground.

Noir and I blinked.

The Demon ignored him and grinned at us with razor sharp teeth.

"Are you just gonna stand there or-"

**BLAM!**

I shot him with my pistol. He looked down slowly at the bullet wound in his chest...and then he laughed.

Noir and I sweat dropped.

I signed sidelong at Noir.

_'Distract him while I untie Raven.'_

"Rrraugh!" The Demon ran forward and swiped at us with his clawed hand. I rolled forward under it and Noir back flipped out of range. I knelt down next to Raven and started to untie her.

Noir backed up as The Demon lumbered forward. The Demon lunged forward and tried to grab him, but Noir teleported through him and materialized on the far side just in time to kick him in the back of the neck. The Demon grunted in pain and anger.

Meanwhile, the train would over a huge bridge that spanned a canyon and a river far below. I finished untying Raven and turned-

"DIIEEEEE!" The Demon connected with a huge backhand that flung Noir off the side of the train, screaming mutely.

"Nooooooooooo!"

Noir fell in slow-motion, his face tense and his neck-length black hair fluttering. A rope chased after him. The lasso loop went over his upthrust ankle just as I pulled taut.

**JERK!**

Noir bounced once...twice...and then hung limply over the gorge.

"Hurry up and climb up!" I yelled as I tied off my end around the smokestack. "The canyon's gonna end soon and-"

**WHAM!**

I skidded back first along the roof of the train car as The Demon rammed me with his shoulder. He jumped at me with his claws outstretched, but I rolled to the side just in time. His claws ripped through the roof and I heard people screaming in the cabin below.

I stood, spun and uppercut him back on to the lead engine car. I jumped on after him.

Meanwhile, Noir strained to climb the rope before he smacked into the other end of the canyon that was rapidly approaching. He pulled himself up hand over hand, sweating and shaking. He came level with the train just in time for the bridge to end.

**WHOOSH!**

The ground sped by just under his feet. With a sigh of relief, he leaned against the train car.

Inside, an old woman saw him through her open window.

"Ack! AN INJUN!" She slapped him hard.

Noir arced out on the rope and smashed painfully into a lever. He encased his legs in smoke, ran across the ground for a few steps and vaulted back on to the train. Up ahead, I heard the tracks shift.

I covered myself as The Demon lunged at me again. Noir teleported through me and smacked him across the teeth with a smoking tomahawk.

**WHACK!**

The Demon fell hard on his back. Noir went to follow up, but the pseudo-cowboy kicked him away with a powerful leg. I came in next, but he caught me around the throat. He looked forward and saw we were head for a tunnel. He smirked evilly and held me up as high as possible, waiting for the tunnel to decapitate me.

"Urgghh...hhh!" I struggled, but I could kick loose. Noir was back a car, just now getting up and too far away to help. The tunnel came closer and closer.

"Prepare to DIEEEEE!"

I grunted. I reared back my boot.

"Prepare for _this!"_

**WHAM!**

I kicked him solidly between the legs with the toe of my cowboy boot.

"ARGGHHHH!"

He let go of me and fell to his knees. We both fell just before the tunnel would have clobbered us.

**WHOOSH!**

We were thrust into blackness. Reluctantly, I made a tiny ball of fire so I could see...

The Demon was nose to nose to me, growling from behind sharp teeth.

The fireball fluttered out.

When we exited the tunnel back into the sunlight, I was bleeding from the lip.

**CR-CRASH!**

The train barreled through a pair of wooden baricades. I looked ahead and saw the tracks end...just in front of a huge cliff.

_...shit._

"Noir!" I called. "Disconnect the cars! Quick!"

Noir went right to work. He blurred around The Demon and me and fell into the gap between the lead engine car and the passenger cars behind it.

I smashed my left fist into The Demon's face.

**WHAM!**

I formed a glove of ice around my other hand.

**BAM-SHATTER!**

The Demon reeled from the right hook. I pivoted to the side, shuffled forward and kicked him under the chin with my cowboy boot.

**WHAP!**

He finally fell. I swaggered over to him and suddenly found myself looking down the barrel of a pistol.

"!"

**BLAM!**

I made a mad dodge backwards. The bullet missed, but I toppled over the side of the train car. I caught myself at the last second, dangling over the side.

"Heheheheheh!" The Demon strutted over and stood over me, pointing the pistol in my face. "Consider your destiny unfulfilled, Angel Boy." His finger tensed around the trigger.

**RUMBLE!**

The train lurched as Noir unhooked the passenger cars. The Demon lost his balance and cut his arms futilely through the air.

"Nooooooooooooooo!"

He fell off the side, hit the ground and rolled painfully like a tumbleweed from hell.

I groaned and pulled myself back up on the car. I looked ahead. The cliff and the end of the tracks ended less than a hundred yards away.

"Noir! Get off the train! I'll get Raven!"

I didn't give him time to object. I got a running start and jumped from the rapidly slowing passenger cars to the lead engine car where Raven slumped unconscious. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Noir blur to the ground.

I looked up again. Fifty yards to the cliff and closing. I ran forward and gather Raven up in my arms.

The train arced off of the cliff.

I ran along the airborne car's roof with Raven in my hands. I reached the very edge and, humming the wind song, made a wild jump for the land. I held my breath.

"..."

**THUMP!**

Raven and I landed and rolled across the dirt. I cradled her underneath me until we finally slowed to a dusty stop with me on top. Slowly, Raven opened her eyes and looked up demurely at me. A goofy smile somehow found it's way onto my face.

"Um...could you get off me?"

I blinked stupidly.

"What? O-oh! Oops. Sorry." I scrambled up and turned to help her do the same.

She looked at me.

"You saved my life! How can I possibly ever repay you?"

A smirked appeared on my face. I leaned over and whispered in her ear.

Noir trotted up to us, signing.

'_Are you okay?'_

"Yep. Peach keen."

Noir nodded-

Raven grabbed him by the face and, before he could blink, laid a long kiss on his lips.

"There!" Raven grinned.

I laughed as Noir stood there, flabbergasted.

Raven suddenly begin to glow.

"What the-?"

_**FLASH!**_

She disappeared. In her place was a giant mirror...the same that had sucked us in here in the first place.

Noir regained a little of his composure and signed at me.

_'I think this is the way out.'_

"...Aw, man. We were supposed to ride off into the sunset like good little heroes."

_'There won't be any sunsets for us.'_

I looked at him.

"...That was deep, Noir."

_'Shut up.'_

Together, we stepped into the mirror.


	37. Let's Be Brief

We march.

We march.

The world around us melts.

The sand gives way to carpet.

The desert sky turns to cool ceiling.

And like a dissolving solution, Raven's world takes the place of the facsimile 'behind' us.

And the first things we see are Cyborg's sonic cannon, Robin's birdarang, and Static's electrical charge collectively aimed at us as we walk 'out' the demonically wavering mirror.

"HAAAAH!"

"YAAAAH!"

"BACK, YOU DEVIL OF RAGE---!"

Bard and I collectively shriek. I don't realize that my legs have moved until I find myself hopped up into Bard's arms as we cling to each other.

"**AAAAAAAAAH!"**

"**!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!"**

A violent beat…..

Cyborg lowers his weapons with a sigh of relief. Robin silently retracts his birdarang. Static dissipates his electrical field and wipes a brow. "Yeeesh.. ….it's you two…."

"… .. …and our urine," Bard mutters.

"Ahem….," Beast Boy clears his throat from the distance. "'Yoinks' much?"

"Huh?"

Beast Boy clears his throat again.

Bard and I glance at each other… …at each other. We blush as I leap out of his arms and straighten my casual gear.

Gear… …My jeans and denim jacket. Thank God they're back. I guess that's all I get of the red skin and moccasins… …

I shrug.

Goodbye, scholarships.

"You are.. ….," Starfire blinks from where she hides cutely behind a chair. "… …not a pair of demons?"

"Hell no! We just got done fighting somebody that looked like one!" Bard frowns. "Just what are y'all sniffin' on?"

Static walks over. "Who's the greatest female diva who ever lived?"

Bard doesn't blink once. "Patsy Cline."

Static turns and smiles at the Titans. "It's them all right."

"Good enough for me," Robin marches up and glares at us up close. He's closest to me for some reason.

I lean back, sweating. Robin is an inch and a half taller than me. I suppose that is both a lucky and unlucky thing.

Right now, though.. ….

"**Do you.. ….Have any.. …Idea… ….What kind of trouble you were in?"**

"Shucks!" Bard folds his arms and smirks. "If that's what you call 'trouble', I hope I get called in for it more often! That was the funnest trouble I ever did get a heapin' helping of!"

"Erm… ….," Beast Boy sweatdrops. "……huzzuhhh?"

"We were like—'Holy Cow! We're in the Old West!' And Noir was an Indian Brave. And I was this lone ranger called 'Luke the Drifter', and I did a mighty fine job fillin' his boots too. Eh heh heh. And then there were saloons and showgirls and campfires and abandoned gold mines and this really whoopin' purty train scene at the end—"

"Wait Wait Wait…," Terra holds her gloved hands up and forms a strange face. "… …you mean to say that you walked into Raven's mindscape mirror and it turned into the Old West?"

"Is that what you call that darned thing?" Bard made a face. "'Mindscape Mirror'?"

Robin begins: "It's an interdimensionable portal through which she and others can have open access to her subconscious in the event that her emotions might—"

"Wait, she's got a back door outhouse to her brain?"

"… ….it's not exactly like that—"

"You think she'd put it in a better place than on a random table!" Bard takes his hat off, scratches his head, and chuckles. "With the things I reckon I've got festerin' in my skull, I'd have that thing under lock and key… …in Fort Knox!… .. …Like, chained to Chuck Norris' 'bad' ankle or something…"

"That's not the point here!" Robin growls.

"YEAH!" Beast Boy growls even harder. "Chuck Norris DOESN'T have a 'bad ankle'—DAH!" **CRASH!**

Robin shoves Beast Boy to the floor, marches up, and shoves a glove finger into the cowboy's chest. "You risked not only your life but your teammate Noir's as well! Undoubtedly you snooped around somewhere your nose wasn't meant to go and it sucked the two of you into some place that nearly got you—and perhaps even Raven—seriously….SERIOUSLY HURT!"

"… … ….," Bard fights. He fights it and fights it and fights it—but he can barely keep a straight face.

Robin blinks under his mask and raises an eyebrow. "Just what is it **now**?"

"Nothing.. ….It's p-pretty darn pathetic and the like.. …."

"I'm the Titan Leader. I'm giving you an order," Robin grumbles. "**Tell me**."

"I had a whoopin' good time taking 'you to the woodshed."

"… …. …excuse me?" Robin leans his head to the side.

"Cyborg too!" Bard points, then turns to wink at me. "Ain't that right, Noirry?"

"… … .." I spit. I clutch a hand over my mouth and another over my chest as I bend over in a helpless fit of giggles. I all but fall to my knees, shaking all over with my black eyes tearing.

Hehehehehehehehe… …

Terra smiles helplessly. So do Static and Starfire. They glance at each other…

"Well….," Robin steps into view. "I'm not sure what you mean by that—"

"It means—nnghhh—that Bard and Noir encountered—mmfff---s-symbols of the closest souls in my life.. …" says a weathered voice from across the room.

We all turn to gaze.

Raven rubs a throbbing head and slowly sits up on the edge of her blue, blue bed. She winces and manages to glance at us through thin eyes.

"Normally, such an intrusion would have plunged the two rookies into an emotional allusion of my mindscape. But something performed a sort of 'override' and took over my subconscious. I seriously….," she glares at the cowboy in particular. "… …seriously doubt it could be anyone's fault but the one who first entered my 'soul-self' to begin with."

"Eh heh heh…," Bard nervously scratches the back of his neck. "I was gonna say. If you truly was such an avid fan of 'Waltz Across Texas', I'd say I found my soul mate."

"Don't push it. What were you doing in my **room** to begin with?" She asks with a lethargic repression of her anger.

"To be perfectly honest, I was coming to apologize most sincerely over the spat we had last night."

"…. …. …. …. ….how ironic."

Bard frowns. "Now, see here—"

I tug on his wrist.

He glances at me. "What?"

I hand-sign.

He makes a face. "What do you mean: 'But the story took place in Kansas'? Noirry, kid, NOTHING'S bigger than Texas! Not even the entire West—my soul be damned if I'm wrong!"

"So… …uhm, Raven?" a nervous Beast Boy limps his way into the blue sorceress' vision. ".. …you angry at us?"

"I'm too worn out to be…. …Azar Above," she strokes her temples as Cyborg walks over to perform a medical scan on her. "That was some meditation session."

"I never saw you exercise so much with a potted plant before," Terra smiles.

Raven glares out one squinting eye. "…. … …**What?**"

"Erm….," Terra blushes.

Cyborg turns and winks at Static. "I've got security camera footage."

"Ha ha ha ha! Oh no you didn't!"

"WHAT?" Raven chirps with a shrug.

"Ahem—Nothing, girl," Cyborg walks up. "What say you get some rest?"

"Wait wait wait—I ain't getting done what I came here to do!" Bard waves his hand and walks up humbly to Raven's bed. He half-bows and asks in all politeness: "Miss Raven, would you hold it in your heart to forgive me for my shenanigans as of late? It sure ain't becoming a gentleman—much less a Titan gentleman. I'd like to do my best to make up for it."

"…. …. .. ….," Raven stares.

"Seriously, I mean it," Bard crosses his heart. "Hope to die."

"…. … …," Raven's lip curves. She flicks a wrist towards Bard.

**FLASH!**

"…. … …," Bard blinks.

"Dude….uhhhh—" Beast Boy looks around curiously.

"Raven, what'd you just do?" Terra shrugs.

"Wait for it… …."

"Huh?" Bard blinks. Then suddenly his eyes bulge as he lurks forward. **"GURRRRK!**" He coughs. Hacks. Sputters, and spits up his own boxer shorts.. …vomiting them out slobberingly to the floor. "BLEAACHKK!"

"Aaaaa—aaa-aaaa-aaaawww dayummmmmm!" Cyborg howls.

"Ha ha ha ha!" Static clutches his side.

Robin even manages a slight smirk.

I can't help but wince. I walk over to a keeled-over Bard and pat my friend's shoulder.

"URP---I'm fine, Noir…," he coughs and smiles with a pale face. "… ..just a tad bit bruised—okay—LACERATED in the ego."

"Okay, now we're square," Raven smirks.

"Yeah, you RECKON?" Bard hisses at her. "At least give me the benefit of walking to my room without chafing."

"You want me to make you vomit up your boots, next?"

"No'm. Goodbye'm," Bard turns and walks off hurriedly.

"Seriously, though, Bard," Beast Boy begins a merriment of chuckling. "Sheriff Woody?"

"Gosh.. …darn it!" Bard hurriedly whisks back, picks up the slobbery boxers off the ground, and runs out of the room.

I giggle breathily.

Terra's louder as she exclaims: "Where's Buzz Lightyear?"

"Go blow your nose!"

"Hehehehehe!"

Robin sighs and looks Raven's way. "Well.. ….Raven? Now that you're seemingly back to normal.. …"

"Dearest friend…," Starfire floats up to the bed along the rest of us. "Please, you have been through much—it would seem. Inform us as to what you would have us do to assist you."

"I can think of one thing," Raven drones.

"What?" Cyborg asks.

Raven's eyes flare a hot crimson. "**GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"**

**FWOOOOOOSH!** A black wall of quivering telekinesis slams into us and shoves us like a murky hockey puck out into the hallway.

"Ooof!"

"Eeek!"

"Daaah!'

"Ack!"

"Augh!"

"!.!.!.!"

**FWUMP!** We land in a teenage pile.

SWISSSH-**CLANG!** The door to the sorceress' room slams shut.

We all disentangle ourselves and slowly stand up to our feet in the hallway, brushing ourselves off.

"That girl sure knows how to put in for vacation time," Cyborg remarks, adjusting his metal joints.

"Uh huh.. …," Robin waves him off. He points at me. "This isn't over. Tell Bard that."

I nervously salute him.

He turns and faces the Titans 'in general'. "Well, it's a new day. The Power's back on. Raven's… …'episode' is over. And I've got some metathugs at the Jump City Penitentiary to interrogate. Unless one of you wants to join me for a 'learning experience', I suggest you go about your normal tasks, chores, and schedules. In the meantime, I'll be—"

He starts to march off in mid-speech, but runs straight into Static.

Virgil stares down Robin. Slowly, he smiles. With a silent motion of the head, he points out Starfire in the distance.

"… … …," Robin slowly turns and glances off.

Starfire stands on her own. Looking cut off. Alone. She sighs and hugs her far shoulder, staring at a nondescript splotch on the metal floor.

"…. … .. … .. ….ahem," Robin clears his throat, walks over to Starfire, and gently takes her by the arm. "Say, Star… ….you wouldn't happen to have anything on your mind, would you?"

She does a double-take at him. Blinks. And turns a slight shade of pink-on-amber. "Why, Robin. …. …wh-what ever gave you that idea?"

"But is it true?"

"… … ..d-do you truly wish to find out?" She bites her lip.

"Hmmm mmm," he smirks. "Well, what's a team leader for?" The two walk away.

Static smacks his forehead. He sighs and smiles with a shrug. "Well.. …halfway there is better than nothing.. … .. …Doofus."

"Just what in the Hell have you been up to, Benvolio?" Cyborg winks.

"Nuts to you, Mercutio. Say, wanna go over the harmonic resequencers of the Tower's sonic defense system?"

"Boo-Ya! I've been waiting for the Power to go back on for that very same reason!"

"You're welcome!'

"Pfft—Rumor is, YOU were the reason the power went off to begin with."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Cyborg. I know how terrible it is to interrupt you in the middle of downloading home appliance porn."

"Okay, that's enough, Virgil—"

"Mmmmmm….such subtle heat coils to that spread-eagle toaster---"

"I GET THE POINT!" The two walk off.

Beast Boy and Terra look at me. I look at Beast Boy and Terra.

"…. …… ……There a Saved by the Bell convention in town?"

"… …. …" I blush. I close my denim jacket around myself and shake a fist.

"Heh.. …We didn't mean anything by it, dude."

I smile.

"Hey!" Terra jumps. "Before Robin enslaves you to more laundry duty or something, want to check out the News Report on the Jump City Beauty Pageant!"

"Awww jeez, Terra. Why are you interested in that thing?"

"And why are you **not**, B.B.? Tons of girls? Glittering dresses? Live t.v. and potential celebrity hosting?"

"… … .. …all right, let's go."

"Pffft-hehehehe—TYPICAL!"

"Last one there's a rotten superhero! I'VE GOT DIBS ON THE REMOTE!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Come on, Noir!"

I smirk. I get into a faux 'sprinting' position, summon murk, and blur impossibly fast ahead of them. **FWOOOOSH!**

"Hey! Noir!"

"No cheating!"

"Hehe… …"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

In her room….

Raven places the mirror back on a stand.

She mutters and gripes under her breath.

'Cowboy' this. 'Cowboy' that.

Her movements are quick and jerky.

A subtle anger.

She sighs it all away with a lasting moan: "It's going to take me WEEKS to get all of that junk out of my mindscape!"

She walks over to her closet---but pauses.

In her vanity mirror….

Her NORMAL mirror…. …she sees something.

She glances back.

She narrows her violet eyes. She blinks a few times.

Did they.. … ..flicker?

"… .. …."

She slowly raises a hand.

She rubs her fingers together.

And….

She flicks her wrist—

Fl-Flash! A burst of tiny, wispy **smoke**.

Then…

Nothing.

"…. .. … ….," she takes a deep breath. Her lips slowly move: "Somebody's got a secret… … … …"


	38. Cancer Stick'Em

People have told me all my life that you learn something new everyday. For the most part, I'd say that's true. Today, for example, I learned two things: Number one, don't enter the room of a dark sorceress uninvited and number two...exactly what boxer shorts taste like.

I only knew of one thing that could possibly get such a vile taste out of my mouth.

Nicotine. Nicotine. Nicotine.

So up to the roof I went to get intimate with a cancer stick. But the roof wasn't deserted like it usually was. Oblivious to me, Robin and Starfire sat on the edge of the roof in the sunlight.

"What did you want to talk to about, Star?"

I hid behind a tool shed, contemplating whether I wanted to risk lighting a cigarette or not.

"I suppose it is not terribly important but..."

I held the cigarette in my hand, looking at it longingly.

..._Damn it._

I put it away and retreated back to the tower.

I was in the process of quiting, anyway.

TTTTTTTTTT

When Terra and Beast Boy entered the main room, Noir was already there waiting on them. He waved from the couch.

"Cheater!" Terra laughed.

"Yeah!" Beast Boy chirped in. "No one wearing that much denim should be that quick!"

"Beast Boy! Stop teasing him about the denim. I think it's cute!"

Noir rolled his black eyes.

I walked in then, my hands shaking just a bit at my sides. Terra noticed right off.

"What's wrong?"

I paused. I wanted to vent about the terrible lack of nicotine in my veins. Terra and Noir knew, but Beast Boy was still in the dark. I held my tongue.

"He's probably still creeped out about the boxer shorts thing." Beast Boy giggled. "Sheriff Woody didn't taste good?"

I glared. That sounded _so_ wrong...

"At least he wasn't wearing a thong!" Terra said. "It would have gotten stuck in his teeth!"

Noir giggled silently.

"Terra!" Beast Boy gasped.

"What?" Terra blinked. "C'mon! Women's minds wander sometimes, too, ya know!"

Beast Boy swayed drunkenly.

"Ahem..." I cleared my throat nervously. "So what are ya'll up to?"

"We're about to watch the beaty pageant." Terra said. "Want to join us?"

I shrugged.

"Why not? Just put it on mute."

"Dude, what for?"

"Because if I hear the phrase 'world peace' more than twenty times I might throw the television out the window. Won't ever happen, anyway."

"Hey!" Terra protested. "It might!"

"Impossible." I said.

"Hmph. You're just a cynic."

"Uh-uh." I winked. "I'm a realist."

Terra pouted. She turned to Noir.

"What about you, Noir? Do you think we could have world peace?"

Noir considered.

He shrugged.

"Noir's on the fence, dudes."

"Noir _lives_ on the fence. Check this out." I looked at him. "Are you a Democrat or a Republican?"

Noir lifted his hands to sign, but then he stopped. He looked at me and then at Terra. He weakly shrugged.

"See?" I grinned.

"What about you?" Terra was suddenly curious.

"I'm a Conservative Independent."

Beast Boy's eyes widened.

"You mean you voted for Ralph Nader?"

"HELL NO!"

"Heheheheheh!"

Beast Boy clicked on the television and the camera panned across the thirty or so contestants in shimmering evening gowns.

"Why are all of them so frickin' skinny?" I asked. Sue me, it'd been a while since I'd had a cigarette. "They're all sickly-looking. Are protruding rib cages supposed to be sexy? I suddenly want to feed'em a coo...kie...?"

I caught Terra's glare.

"A-ahem." I sweat dropped through a weak smile.

Beast Boy leaned back on the couch next to Terra.

"I wonder what the combined IQ of all of them are."

"Just over yours." Terra giggled.

I chuckled when Noir signed at me.

_'Burned.'_

"Ya know," I said. "I've been thinking-" I caught Noir's shocked look. "Shush, you. Anyway, I've been thinking: You have beauty pageants, and then other beauty pageants for blacks and hispanics, right?"

Beast Boy looked at me.

"...So?"

"So! Don't you see black and hispanics girls in this pageant? It's unfair. Minorities get two chances at it and white people, not to mention asians, too, only get one. It's unfair."

"Dude...I think you're thinking too much."

"Yup." Terra smirked. "Definietly a _Conservative_ Independent!"

Noir chuckled breathily as I stuck my tongue out at her.

"I'm just saying...it's like...reverse racism or something!"

Terra rolled her eyes.

"Stop thinking, cowboy. Just watch the pretty girls and wait patiently for the bikini contest."

"...Yes'm."

I fidgeted. I looked left and right. I tapped my boot. I tapped my other boot. A drummed a tune on my thigh. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up. I needed a cigarette _now_.

"Dude, where are you going?"

"Um...to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

Beast Boy snickered.

"I figured you'd at least wait until the bikini contest for that!"

It took me a minute to get that-

"_BEAST BOY!"_

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

I stomped away.

I _really_ needed that cigarette.


	39. Britainiac 1

"He was Tamaranian.. … …He _is_ Tamaranian, Robin," Starfire speaks atop the Tower roof. She hugs her knees to her chest and gazes off into the windy morning with a sigh. "The one those fiends referred to as 'Flaar'. But… … …there is something horribly, horribly wrong with him. As if something terrible happened to him. Something viciously stripped him of the joy and boundless confidence that is natural to all Tamaranians, and all that is left is the raw warrior mentality beneath. For some reason, he is more animal than civilized Vegan now, and it is so frightening. It may not seem like much, but the way he has so heavily restricted his hair and eyebrows—It is not just a choice of fashion, but a denial of his inner, freeloving spirit. All Tamaranians have a sort of empathic link to one another, Robin. It is part of the energy that we harbor within our bodies. I have never had to share such with you that often because only on spare occasions have you seen me within the vicinity of my own kind. But being as 'alone—so to say—on this planet for so long, it would take even the barest form of contact with my kind to know that the person in question shares my same blood. I do not understand how any Tamaranian—nnnghh, besides my unfortunate sister of course—could possibly turn to a life of such heinous injustice. There must be a reason. And I ask of you—Robin, as team leader—for the permission to perform an investigation."

Robin straightens his cape and squats down next to her. He raises an eyebrow above his mask. "What kind of an investigation?"

"Well.. ….," Starfire leans her chin on her knees and exhales before speaking: "I would have to consider my options very carefully, as well as perform a synthesis of my juxtaposition of resources and information—which is not very adequate, I must say. And then I shall, X'Hal willing, engage upon a trip across the continental expanse of this hemisphere to—"

"Wait Wait Wait.. …," Robin leans forward. "Star, you want to do this **alone**?"

"I do not speak to you asking for assistance, Robin," Starfire says quietly. "All I need is your blessing. For I have decided over the course of the last few Terran hours that this is the one and only path I must now take in my life. I must follow through with this investigation and learn how to free such plagued individual."

"Starfire…," Robin raises his gloved finger. "You're….hooo-boy---You're talking about a lot of missing gaps in information, a lot of assumptions, presumpt—"

"I am **not** being presumptuous," she momentarily frowns. "I **know** that this criminal youngster that we faced was Tamaranian."

"But you don't even know where he is, Star!" Robin gets up to his feet and paces around. He sighs: "You.. ..Y-You don't even know how many nasty creeps may be on his side! Or if he even WANTS to be found! The guy nearly killed Static and he didn't seem all that willing to lower a fist when he went toe to toe with you, neither!"

"All the more reason for me to travail upon locating necessary information as soon as physically and mentally possible," she nods.

"But what if it turns out to be a wild goose chase, Star?" Robin marches over to where he stands fitfully behind her. "What if even the best leads do not so much as brush the skin of this no-name?"

"Then that is certainly a risk that I will have to take," she looks up at him. Her lips linger before eventually spelling out in a sudden case of hesitancy: "A detective would be aptly familiar with that eventuality, no?"

"… … …," Robin exhales through his nostrils. He leans back against an a/c unit and folds his arms. "…. …. ….. …I don't like it when the team splits up for personal missions. I don't."

Starfire hugs her legs tighter. She doesn't look at him. For some reason, she can't. "I… .. …I would l-love to ask for your help, Robin.. … …"

"…. …. …."

"…. ….but I rightfully don't expect it," she murmurs. A biting of the lip. "Not any more, I surely do not."

"Star—"

"When did it begin, Robin?" She breathes, still not able to look at him. "This… …This heaviness around the team. Around **us**? Did it begin shortly after the Brotherhood was defeated? For it surely felt as such."

"Starfire, I—"

"It is like Terra Firma has turned to glass, and we no longer summon the courage to stand side by side for fear that our combined weight might shatter a hole in the ground beneath us." She shudders all over, but still continues to the best of her ability. "There was a time—a very short but wondrous time—when I was starting to believe that you had cast off all of the silly little fears that bound you to duty and duty alone. But now, I am starting to think that the boy whose vacillating antics once confused me is starting to look more and more definable."

A beat of silence.

Robin just hangs there. He says nothing.

But Starfire: "You, Robin, are my friend. And you shall always be so. I care for you with my life, as I care about all my friends." She takes a deep breath. "… …all the same, I consider everyone who is capable of enjoying life to be 'my friend'. This stranger we battled is no exception. And now I must endeavor to show him the same compassion I have shown my teammates, the citizens of this City, and you."

Robin opens his lips.. ….but pauses.

Starfire stares…

The morning wind kicks at them.

The Sun passes over ever so slowly.

The heat of Summer….. ….building.

Building.

"You may take another Titan with you on this 'investigation' of yours, Starfire," Robin finally says. "And—if the situation is dire enough—you may take a second. But I need most of us situated **here**, Star," he gestures. "Above all else, we are to protect this City."

"Of course, Robin," she says. A swallow. A hopeful smile: "Can I select—"

"You cannot select me."

"… … …"

"I have an investigation of my own to follow through on," he says in a monotone voice. "I've delayed going to the Jump City Penitentiary long enough. But the people I will be interrogating were accomplices to the same person you're concerned over. It may turn out that I might find some helpful information for you. And if I do, rest assured that I will do everything to get that info to you."

"Yes.. ….th-that is most assuring," Starfire exhales.

Robin looks her way. His eyemask blinds him. But it doesn't blind her. "Just to make sure you know that I'm not trying to abandon you ord your interests, Star… …"

She promptly frowns at that, but hides it to him. "Allow me to be the one who is to say what she knows or does not know." She doesn't hide it when she stands up and—in one bound—soars off into the air like a hot rocket. **FWOOOSH**

Robin does a double-take. He blankly watches her float away on a heated orbit. He sighs, rubs his temples, and stumbles off.

_".. … …it's only going to get harder."_

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

_"M-My name is Christi Marshall. I'm sixteen years old, and I live in the Downtown District of Jump City."_

_"Pleased to meet you, Miss Marshall. And would you like to tell the audience why you should be voted in on the Grand Finals of the Jump City Beauty Pageant next week at eight o'clock Pacific time?"_

_"Hehe—Okay. Ummmmmm…. …I would reallllly like to compete with these wonderful girls next week because it'll be sooooo fun. And…ahem…if I win—"_

"Oh! Oh! OH!" Beast Boy hops in the couch. "Here it comes, Noir! You ready? You ready!"

I nod furiously.

_"—I will donate as much to the Hizbollah Relief Fund."_

"THERE IT IS!" Beast Boy squeals. "Third one tonight! HaHA! Noir! Take a hit!"

I raise my bottle in the air, then take a healthy chug of Dr. Pepper. As he does he. In the meantime, Terra sits on the far end of the couch and shakes her head. Smiling.

Televised applause.

Fanfare.

_"Very well, young lady! Heh heh heh—And who do we have here—Ah yes! My, don't you look stunning! What is your name, Miss?"_

_"Hello, I am Brianna Lin. And I think you should allow me to compete next week because I'm a good sport. I love to make an audience happy."_

"Wait for it…," Beast Boy leans in on the edge of the couch.

Terra giggles.

So do I…as much as I 'can'.

_"My little sister is riding on me to make it to the top of this thing—hehe—she's such a little princess."_

"Waaaaaait for it….."

_"—And I too would like to promote peace in the Middle East and Lebanon."_

"THERE IT IS!" Beast Boy slaps his bottle against mine. "HIT ME!" He guzzles.

I giggle and guzzle as well.

"Hehehehe… …," Terra covers her face.

Beast Boy finishes his bottle. He rears his neck up, deflates his pointed ears, and gives it all—**"BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAP!"**

"Ewwwww—Beast Boy!"

I smile and give a thumb's up.

"Yeah, that was frickin' atomic, dude, wasn't it?" Beast Boy winks.

"That was sooooo gross."

"Heh, you do it too!"

"But not when I'm watching a beauty pageant! Have some decency!"

"Tell that to the girls! They all did one-piece bathing suits. ONE PIECE! Lemme check in case I'm wrong—But is Eisenhower still president? Uh uh!"

"It's _okay_! Yeesh, Beast Boy. Next week when it's all nothing but finalists they'll do a Jump City two-piece bathing suit thingy. But not now. You gotta admit, they looked cute in those—"

"**WRONGGGGGGG!"** Beast Boy howls. "A little three-year-old girl building sand castles on the beach is 'CUTE' in a one-piece. Teenage chicks do NOT. Nuh uh! They're more like Richard Simmons throw-pillows or—**BURRP**—giant Hershey Kisses." Beast Boy's eyes go wide as he covers his lips. "P-Pardon me. Guess I still had a bullet in the chamber."

"Hehehehe," Terra giggles.

I snicker as well.

They both look at me.

Beast Boy smirks: "Let's see you give it a shot, Noir."

"B.B.?.?.?"

"What?" Beast Boy shrugs with a chuckle. "He's a guy! Isn't he?"

"Mute guys can't burp--- --- ---," Terra blinks. "… ….c-can they?"

Beast Boy nods at me. "Let's find out. Noir?"

I hold up a finger. I sit back. I wait.. …wait….shudder forth—"!.!.!.!"—I exhale into my hand. I form a fist.

Terra and Beast Boy crane their necks.

I look at them. "… … …" I smirk. I turn my hand and open the fist in their direction. **FWOOOOSH!** A burst of high-pressure smoke sails into Beast Boy's face. **THAP!**

"DAAAH!" He falls back into Terra and both Titans go sprawling like pretzels across the floor.

"Ooff!"

"Aaaaugh—snkkkkt-hahahahaha!"

"Hee hee hee hee!"

"Ohhhhh man, that was f… ….f… ….well, you-know-what royal! Ha ha!"

"Hehehehehe!"

I smile, shake my head, and look at the t.v. set.

_"And do introduce yourself, young lady."_

_"Uhm….. …H-Hi. My name is Renee… …and….erm…. …. …. …M-Mister Host, I know this is all kinda wyrd and stuff. But can I g-give a shout out to my boyfriend?"_

_"Heh heh heh, I don't see why not, Miss."_

_"Eh heh…**HIIII DANNY! Hehehe—Erm. I-I made it this far and I lovvvve youuuuu**… .. ….Okay, how's that?"_

I blink.

_"Heheh, that's a-okay, Miss Renee."_

I lean forward.

_"Now is there something you would like to say to the audience in anticipation of next week's Grand Finals?"_

My lips part.

I reach a hand out towards the t.v. set.

_Is that… ….?_

_Is that… … .. ….?_

"…. .. … …."

I blink.

_Is that **Bard** in the background?_

Sure enough, behind the stage of the Beauty Pageant Competition, I see a familiar Titan cowpoking around. And that may have something to do with the fact that the pageant is being filmed at… …

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

… … …the Jump City Mall.

"Okay.. …," Bard huffs as he marches past the camera equipment, past the crowds, out of the food court, and into the loud, blaring arcade where a gaggle of teenagers await. "I fetched the quarters—Since **I'm** the gentleman."

A girl with an eyepatch and a black, gothesque tanktop smirks. "That goes without saying. Now, ready to put your balls where your mouth is?"

The young crowd chants: _"Ooooooooh…."_

Bard merely smirks. "What's your name again, miss?"

"Lisa."

"Right, Lisa. Heh….That the name that you wear to bed? Or does 'Mitch' serve a heap better?"

_"OHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

"Heh heh heh," a Cher-haired vixen winks at the one-eyed goth. "She got you there, Lisa."

"Shut yer holes, Janice," Lisa frowns and points at the Titan. "Listen, Duke. Nobody—and I mean NOBODY puts my initials in second place at Superhero Smackdown! I'm the champ at fighters around here, and I'm not letting a Clint Eastwood bastard child trying to make me look like a fool!"

"Who's trying? You're doing a mighty fine job on your own, if I do declare, Missus," Bard tips his hat.

_"Ohhhhhh!'_

"Tsk tsk," Bard winks. "Died in the first round against Darkseid? How shameful."

'Lisa' sweats, squirms, and recomposes herself with a frown: "It was the SECOND round!"

"Still didn't score a single flippin' win against him. Now let's say we follow through with your ladylike proposal and have us here a good 'ol fashion arcade duel at twenty paces?"

"What's the dish-out?" Lisa smirks.

Bard glances down. He looks at her tight black jeans—Or at least at the glaring, full pack of cigarettes in her side pocket.

"What are you looking at, stranger--?"

"Loser has to cough up all…and I do mean ALL….," he holds up his own near-full pack. "…..the cigarettes he or she has. Or in this case, just **she**." He ends with another wink.

Lisa glances right. (No security guards). She glances left. (Still none). She takes a deep breath and smirks a black-lipped smile at him. "You're on."

_"Wooohooo!"_

_"It's on, baby!"_

_"You show 'em, Lisa!"_

_"That guy's got serious attitude!"_

_"This is our Mall, chump!"_

A little blonde teenager squints her eyes and squeaks forth: "Say.. …isn't he a bit familiar---?"

"Not a speck of green skin on him. Let 'em be, Hope," 'Janice' looks up. "So, what'll this be? Solo Versus or Tag Team Triple Hero Melee?"

"Hmmm….," Bard scratches his chin, glances aside at the Pageant, looks into a nondescript corner of his eyesight, and smirks. "Tag Team."

"Heh… …all right."

He cracks his cowboy knuckles. "It's boring doing things solo. Or so I'm discovering more and more lately. Heh heh heh."

"Shut up and step up to the arcade deck, Duke."

"You know, for a horse, you sure talk like an ass."

_"Ohhhhh—BURN!"_

"SHUT UP ALREADY, TIFFANY!"


	40. Britainiac 2

The arcade was just behind the stage where the beauty pageant was going on. There was a huge screen hanging down from the ceiling that showed the events for people too far away to get a good look. I'd glanced up at it every once in a while, but after about the third girl in a row that came out with a one-piece for the swimsuit competition, I'd lost interest.

Instead, I'd found a worthy Superhero Smackdown opponent. I'd played the arcade game in dozens of cities across the country. I took everyone I played straight to the woodshed. And while I'd won the first match, I think I caught this opponent by surprise. She was good.

I never imagined my toughest opponent would be a short, black-haired Goth girl with black fingernails and an eye patch. But here she was, along with her very on entourage.

I wish I had an entourage.

"Since we're playing for something so important...cancer sticks." I suggested. "How 'bout we make this a bit more interesting?"

Lisa, my challenger, folded her arms across her chest.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Yeah!" One part of her all-female entourage winked at me outrageously. "What did you have in mind?"

I wish I had an all-female entourage.

"Hope!" Lisa yelled. "Shut up!"

"Eep!"

Lisa looked back at me.

"That's not fair, cowpoke."

"How isn't it fair?" I smirked. "Don't tell me you're one of those gamer hacks who are only godly with two or three characters..."

"I'm godly with everybody!"

"Then you shouldn't care, right?"

Lisa looked at her entourage.

"Dude's kinda got ya there." Tiffany said.

Lisa sniffed.

"Fine. Let's do this."

"All righty." I rubbed my hands together. "Since you're the lady, I'll let you pick my characters first. I suggest Jonah Hex. I suck with him."

"Pffft. Yeah, right." Lisa looked over the screen. She took my joystick and moved the cursor around the character select.

Superman...I could work with that.

Green Lantern...He was pretty good.

Jessie Quick...Not my first choice, but not horrible.

Lisa moved the cursor one more time and clicked the button.

I stared.

"Aqualad? Frickin' Aqualad?"

Tiffany swooned.

"Aqualad...!"

I was disgusted, but Lisa was already moving to pick my second character. I didn't even look this time until-

"And Pantha!" Lisa crowed.

I nearly fainted.

"Pantha! That's the slowest person in the whole cotton-pickin' game!"

"You're the one that said it was fair." Lisa pointed out. "Now are you gonna pick my characters are you gonna let me do it?"

That brought me out of it.

"Psssh. Fat chance."

Instead of looking at the screen, I examined Lisa instead. She wore tight, black leather flares and a black t-shirt that had some kind of red symbol on it I didn't recognize. He hair was plain and straight. The eye patch on her stoic face. I saw her pale white skin and her black fingernails. I looked up and picked Stargirl for her.

"Hey, she's pretty good!" Tiffany said.

I picked her second character-

"Oooh!" Janice squealed. "Starfire!"

I looked at her funny.

"What? A lot of people like Starfire!"

"Yeah...but they're mostly cocks, not hens."

Janice's eyes widened.

"Did you just say c-"

"AHEM!" I looked at Lisa. "Like your characters? Stargirl is pretty good and Starfire's one of the best in the game."

Lisa glared at me.

"...I hate you."

Success! I'd read her just right. Stargirl and Starfire were good characters...but Lisa hated them. She probably avoided them like the plague.

"Heheheh! Let's do this!"

We took up our positions. Lisa's entourage and a few other spectators that had grown bored with the pageant gathered around us. Pixelied Pantha stomped on the screen.

"_I will crush you!"_

I winced at how slow she moved.

Pixelized Starfire swooped in from the other side.

"_I hope we can be friends!"_

Lisa shuddered.

"_Fight!"_

With Pantha being so slow, I did the turtle strategy folks hate oh so much. I moved as far away as possible and blocked.

Lisa used Starfire to throw a star bolt.

Pantha jumped it.

Starfire through another star bolt.

Pantha jumped it again.

Finally, Lisa lost her patiences. Starfire charged and jumped in.

Exactly what I'd been waiting for. My fingers danced across the buttons.

"Whoa!" Someone marveled behind me. "A thirty three hit air combo with Pantha! Unreal!"

Starfire ragdolled off the side of the screen and in jumped Stargirl. I went for a throw attack with Pantha, but Stargirl counterattacker with a beam special. On fire, Pantha disappeared to my side of the screen and out hopped Aqualad with his hair fluttering.

Hope sighed lustily behind us.

The battle went back and forth was we controlled the unfamiliar characters. Finally, both of us were down to low health. One good hit would kill the other. I put it all on the line and tried to a double special. Pantha and Aqualad charged across the screen in a flurry of claws and water. Just before the attack landed.

"TAKE THIS!"

Lisa did a double special of her own. Starfire jumped out to join Stargirl and they released a giant beam.

**BOOOMMMMMMM!**

"_KO! Stargirl and Starfire WIN!"_

The crowd around us clapped. I even got a few slaps on the back.

"Hah!" Lisa pointed a finger in my face. "Cough'em up, loser!"

I muttered under my breath. I reluctantly reached into my jeans pocket and slapped a crumpled pack of cigarettes into her hand.

"I'm gonna want a rematch."

"Better bring more quarters and smokes then, cowpoke. Go ride off into a sunset or something." Lisa and her giggling entourage walked away.

I fumed for a little while, but then my face brightened. I took off my hat, reached into the headband and brought out my emergency pack of cigarettes.

"Hehehehe...!"

The big screen hanging from the ceiling that was showing the pageant suddenly changed. I looked up at it and saw a red-headed man with a sharp nose and misaligned teeth. The screen flashed and for a moment he looked much older.

"_Ello, duckies!"_


	41. Britainiac 3

"**Listen up with your lugholes, my posh lassies. If you think this duff attempt to prance around in those anorexic fabrics makes for a cracking display of Venutian beauty, well you're bloody daft! Back on the Queen's soil, I'd have soiled myself in horror to see so many young birds faffing around like day girls off their trolley!"**

Bard is within perfect earshot of.. … of…

Well, he doesn't seem to know, exactly.

But like a good Titan, he clears out of the halo of shame that is and shall hereafter be the arcade—making his way towards the Beauty Pageant set up in the center of the interior Mall Courtyard. He gazes up towards the same spot where all the beauties, judges, and onlookers are looking and spots—

"The Tarnation?" Bard does a double-take.

A giant, ornately decorated hot air balloon is suddenly levitating beneath the sun roof. A bright, radiant emblem of the British Flash is splashed across the surface of the thing while in the basket dangling majestically below huddles a tall, proud redhead with bifocals and stereotypically hideous teeth.

"Who is this Brit?" Bard murmurs to himself. His eyes narrow. ".. ….and what the Hell did he just say?"

The foreigner in question twirls his jeweled staff and deposits a kingly crown onto his cranium before leaning over the basket edge and smiling devilishly at the trembling, paper-thin beauty pageantettes.

"**This is no true competition of the estrogenical arts! Bah! This is pure rubbish, in every bloomin' sense of the cliché word! I know not the septic dip stick who conjured up this poncey pageant, but mark my words I'll get this pear shape debacle to budge up and make way for a touch of the Mod!"** The British imposter skips merrily in place and rubs his hands together. **"Ohhhhh, smashing! The Bees Knees!—This is going to turn this whole City upside down! And in the end, you ungrateful Yanks will sound out 'cheers' for all the artistic flare I've wrangled overseas, and all the refinement, and such a do, and Bob's your Uncle!"**

Murmurs rise amidst the crowd.

Bard clenches his fists. He frowns, looks around for a clear space---and spots a line of phone booths against the wall. "… … …hmm….I reckon I suddenly have an inspiration." A beat. "… … …naaah," he jams a fist underneath his poncho, slips his fingers through sparkling, adamantium knuckles, and runs balls-first through the crowd.

In the meantime, a few security guards run up with guns aimed at the notorious villain. A sense of trembling is hard to hide as they train their weapons and shout up at him: "What crazy plan do you have up your sleeve now, ya coot?"

"**Simply a declaration, chap,"** Mad Mod half-bows. **"I am to be… …the art director.. … ..the creative designer.. … ..and the entertainment host of the Beauty Pageant Finals taking place later this week. And—bugger all—if I don't get the position that I've earned by the sheer bullocks of my artistic merit… …" **He glares with a glint of his bifocals and fingers his glistening rod. **"Then let's just say the Sun will never set on your little commercial Empire… ….EVER AGAIN."**

The girls tremble and cling to each other.

"**Hmmm …right-o!"** Mad Mod twirls his rod and winks. **"Looks like I've delivered my yakking quite smart. But for the lot of you who can't take a decent gutting, well, hard lines for you, shorties!" He aims the rod directly down at the feminine crowd. "Here's a little shambling to show you just what sort of business I truly mean! Ah ha ha ha ha!"**

ZZZZZT! The rod charges up.

The girls shriek and cower.

The men pull at their triggers at the last second—

**FLASSSSH!** An electrical charge suddenly bolts up in a hot blue streak and singes the crystal at the edge of the Brit's weapon.

"**Aaaaugh!"** The Mad Mod reels back in the hot balloon basket and rubs his hand. **"Cor Blimey!"** He grits his grimey teeth and shakes a scrawny fist. "**Who in the Queen Mum's hair bonnet is giving me aggro?.!.?"**

"Hey Mr. Bean! You want to talk trash in two continents?" FWOOSH! Bard leaps up and perches atop a glass elevator shaft. He hums a tune and produces a fist of cold fury. "Why don't you saddle up or shut up or I reckon I might just have to send you to pasture!"

"**Well, if it isn't a cattle rustler trying to give his cowchap heritage a 'how's your father'?"** Mad Mod laughs, then glares. **"Sod off, shammy-shagger! I haven't the time for namby-pamby nosey parkers thinking they can haggle over peace with parlor tricks and a set of trousers fit for a Philly-sniffing pillock like you! So why don't you skip over to the pisser and spend a penny while I finish playing 'squire' with these underschooled, boorish sprogs here!"**

Bard lifts his hand to speak.

His mouth falls agape.

He blinks.. …goes cross-eyed for a beat---then shakes his head.

"Yeah… …Um… …I'm going to remover that yapper of yours now. Thank you kindly." **CHIIIIING!** He produces a handful of icey daggers and flings them at the hovering villain at full force. "Hope your Ma taught you to **FLOSS!"**

**FWISSSSSSSSSSSSSH!**

The cold knives sing through the air. They slice through Mad Mod's lips.. … ..and soar out the other side of the flickering miscreant's image—as well as his fake balloon. Fw-Fwooosh! **"Ha hah hahhhh!"**

Bard's eyes widen.

The icicles sail up, up, and smash through the ceiling skylight. **SHATTTTTTER!.!.!**

"DRRRNRNNGH!" Bard winces and whips out his guitar for a murderous strumming of the Wind Song. "Son of a---"

**FWOOO-OOO-OOOOSSSH!**

An indoor gale roars through the Mall, knocking signs over and shoving people to their feet and fannies. The hurricane force shoves the falling shards of glass in midair over the heads of the guards and the beauty pageant contestants and slams the serrated debris into a huge mural advertisement of the Playstation Three.

"… .. …," Bard shrugs.

"**HAH! Don't get shirty with me, young man!"**

Bard looks up.

The hovering dirigible starts to disappear in a flickering mirage of craziness. The Mad Mod's voice continues bodilessly.

"**My royal air balloon and I might be holograms. But I most emphatically assure you that my robotic yankee-smassher is NOT."**

**WHURRRRRRR!**

Decloaking in full-figured glory is a levitating android shaped quite ridiculously like a Royal Guard. It twists its toy-soldier head around and rears up a bayonet'd rifle. **CLAK-CLAK!**

The cowboy Titan adjusts the brim of his hat and takes a breath. "Sorry, Crocket.. ….but it's Paul Revere time… …"

**BL-BLAM!** A blast of shot soars in at him.

"Nnngh!" Bard leaps off the elevator shaft. **CLANG!** The metal reverberates from the shot behind him. In the meantime, the cowboy glides his way towards the robot, shoulders his guitar in mid-air, and swings his adamantium fist down just in time—"AAAAAH!"

**SMASSSSH!** The robot sails towards the floor, forming a deep crater in the black and white tile as pedestrians, shoppers, and girls in prom dresses go running every which way.

Plop! Bard lands in a pancho-flapping crouch and pants for breath. He wipes his brow and smirks. "You reckon you like some of that Bunker Hill for your tease—Aw shucks."

**WHURRRR!** The robot hovers back up, straightens its metal skull, and soars straight at Bard. "SODDING SHALL COMMENCE!"

"Now that's just plum lame---"

**WHAM!**

"OOOF!" Bard is shoved, shoved, shoved across the courtyard. He and the robot smash through benches, trash bins, and a palm tree or two. The mighty Titan grits his teeth, flings his cross pendant safely around the back of his neck, and raises his arms—gripping into the metal hide of the automaton. "RRRRRRRGH-YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!" **SWOOOSH!** He swings the hulking weight of the beast over his head and suddenly reels uncontrollably in the wielding of such. "Whoah-Whoah-Whoah—DARN IT!" And he and the robot go plunging straight towards the windows of a hapless western clothing store.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Erm… …," a customer scratches his thin head of hair and makes an uncertain face at the leather jacket in his grasp. "I'm not so sure. Forty bucks a pop?"

"It's just your thiiiiing, Mister Smith!" an overweight, bubbly sales clerk winks suggestively and 'flings' a wrist. "You want to strut down a street in that disastrous sweatervest for another day?"

"I-I thank you for your creative input, Mister---"

"Heheeee," the clerk points at his name badge. "Just call me Jenny."

"… .. ….right. Uhm, thank you. But ever since I dropped out of the police academy, I've been looking for something a little less… …Well….Something that doesn't scream 'excitement'."

'Jenny' gasps dramatically with a hand over his left chest. "Oh, but Mister Smith! Who's screaming?"

**SMASSSSSSSSSSH!**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" the clerk howls and leaps lardily into the customers arms.

"AAUGH!—" **THWUMP!**


	42. Britainiac Finale

"Ughhh..." I groaned.

I was sprawled out under a heaping pile of western shirts, jeans, leather coats and broken glass. A toe of a cowboy boot poked uncomfortably into my lower back. I stood up, picked up and replace my hat on my head and looked around. I saw a man holding on to his fearful wife or girlfriend.

I tipped my hat to her.

"Are you all right, ma'am-" I stopped. I blinked. I did a double take. "_Ahem_. Sir?"

Before the effeminate man could answer, the pile of western clothes and accessories I stood on shifted and rumbled under my feet and threw me back out into the mall hallway. I landed hard on the tiles and rolled to my feet to see the tall, robot soldier stomping after me and bringing his rifle up to his shoulder.

My eyes widened.

**BOOM!**

The buckshot from the weapon exploded a crater in the floor where I was a moment before. I tried to reach beneath my poncho for my laser pistol, but the robot was already aiming again.

**BOOM!**

I came out of my do-or-die dive in front of the bubbling wishing fountain.

"Hey, tin man!" I smirked and held out both of my hands palms out. "Make a wish, partner!"

I hummed. The water came out of the fountain in thick jets that twirled around my arms like ropes before they shot out at the robot like a pair of Cyborg's sonic cannons. The two streams hit the robot in the chest and slid him back first across the floor and crashing into a game store.

I sprinted after him. I jumped into the store, landed on the robot's chest and proceeded to woodshed him.

**WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!**

The robot's face sparked and dented under my metal fists. I stopped suddenly when I saw a sales clerk out of the corner of my eyes.

"Say," I asked him. "When does Dirge of Cerberus come out?"

The young man blinked.

"Um...um...n-next month-"

**BAM!**

The robot clipped me in the chin with the butt of his rifle, sending me in the opposite wall. I picked up the nearest thing to me...a video game case for Halo...and chucked it at him.

**TING!**

Luigi's Mansion.

**TING!**

Starcraft.

**TING!**

Final Fantasy IX

_**TING!**_

I threw that one extra hard.

Madden 06.

**TING!**

Enter the Matrix.

**TING!**

Final Fantasy VII.

"..."

I stopped. I fogged up the case with my breath, gingerly polished it on my poncho and respectively put it back on the shelf.

"Ooof!"

The British robot soldier tackled me and we rolled out of the store. He grabbed me by both shoulders, turned and tossed me through a wooden bench.

**CRASH!**

Back in the game store, the manager walked in from the back room. He looked around at the place in shambles. He turned to the clerk.

"Why didn't you tell him about the pre-orders?"

Back in the hall, the robot lumbered over and picked me up by the front of my poncho, but his face was within my reach. I held my fist together and arced them through the air.

**WHAM!**

He stumbled back. I landed in a crouch, hummed the wind song and flew after him. We smashed into the bottom of the escalator with me on top. And as we made the slow climb...I occupied it by wailing on him.

**WHAM! WHAM! CLANK! CLANK! CLANGGGGG!**

When we reached the top, he kicked me off and went on the offensive. He hit me with left and right hooks with his big metal hands.

**THUMP! THUMP! WHAM!**

I ragdolled backwards into the open doors of an elevator. The robot rushed me, but just as he reached them, the elevator doors closed. The Robot jumped the railing back to the ground floor and stood in front of the elevator, waiting patiently.

"..."

**DING!**

The elevator doors opened. The robot stared at the empty elevator. A question mark popped over his head.

I arced down from the ceiling, grabbed onto the frame and jammed both of my cowboy boots into his face.

**CLANK!**

The robot fell and skidded across the floor again. I ran after him, holding up my hands and humming. The wind song kept him going and I crashed him into anything I could find.

**CRASH!**

He smashed through a photo booth.

**CRASH!**

A large, potted palm tree.

**CRASH!**

Through the arcade, though I did take trouble to avoid Superhero Smackdown as I ran after him.

**CR-CR-CR-CR-CR-CRASH!**

The robot was sparking and smoking now and the pageant stage was just ahead. The British robot slid up the ramp and flew through the air. I flew up on the wind song, vault off the ceiling and launched myself at him like missile.

**CRRRRASSSSSSHHHHHH!**

Together, we smashed into the stage. A large plum of smoke erupted from the robot and his digital eyes went dark. I landed on my back, bruised and exhausted. Finally, everything was quiet. I closed my eyes as I lay there, enjoying it.

"Oooh! Are you all right?"

"That was...like...so brave!"

"Like...yeah!"

"You're our hero!"

I opened my eyes and, clamoring all around me were the beauty pageant contestants.

"_What do you know?" _I smirked inwardly. _"...It's an entourage."_


	43. Deckerhead

It is late in the afternoon at the mall.

Work crews are still attempting to mop up the glass and debris and chaos from the sight of Bard's fateful scuffle with Mad Mod's 'royal' android.

There are a few investigators poking around at the site, taking photographs, and talking to eyewitnesses.

A couple of spaces away stands Bard. And Bard is not alone. The Titans stand presently at his side. Well, most of them: Cyborg, Beast Boy, Terra.. ….

…. …and myself.

"Shucks, I almost thought Chang was the only foo who broke out of the penitentiary," the android Titan rubs the human half of his head with a sigh. "Just figures we'd be up to our armpits in Mad Mod's stained teeth this soon."

"Just what was his deal, anyways?" Terra remarks with a face. She glances around with goggled eyes and spots the scores of people looking at them from the sidelines of the wrecked scene. It makes her shudder slightly. "I-I thought British p-people were just about as r-respectable as anyone else!"

"Mad Mod isn't British," Beast Boy mutters. "He's falling with style."

"He's an inch away from getting his Little Isles nailed to the door of a woodshed, that's what!" Bard grumbles as he brushes at the damaging scrapes to his costume. "Awww shucks. I walk into Town in the daylight once. JUST ONCE.. …and what does it get me? Tarnation City!"

"It's okay, cowboy," Cyborg winks with a smile. "Everyone knows you weren't purposefully causing trouble… … …this time…."

"Dude, tell that to the guys who built the skylight," Beast Boy gestures with a thumb. "Eh he he he he he!"

Bard growls: "How 'bout you turn into a pony so I can show you what horseshoes feel like?"

"AHEM… …Sh-Shuttingupnow."

Terra giggles.

I walk over to Bard. I gesture to him.

"MMmmmm….reckon I got my threads a heap more dirty than I was fixin' for," my westernly friend sighs. "If my Momma was here, she'd give me a smacking something terrible!"

"Oh mah gawwwwd! You poor, special thiiiing!" A rotund sales clerk in cowboy chaps waddles over from a smashed clothing store. "Thank you so much for saving me, but—Good heavens! That rebel-rouser sure as heck busted you up, didn't he? Tskk tskk. What a bad, bad man."

Beast Boy does a double-take. He mouths: 'Rebel-rouser'?"

Bard shrugs. He jolts as the man grabs him 'gently' by the arm. "You just come with me, mister! I'll have you fixed up in a jiffy!"

Terra snorts on something.

"Erm….," Bard sweatdrops. "Wh-Wh-What do you mean, 'fixed up'?"

"Why, I'll make you a new costume! It'll be on the house for doin' so nicely as to protect me from that robot freak earlier."

"B-B-But I thought I-I smashed up your place and—"

"Hehehehe…," the fat man winks. "You can bust through my window annnnnnytiiiiiime. The name's Jenny, by the way."

"Eh heh, thanks---NOIRRY! Get over here right now and do something murky-cool n'junk and get me out of here!"

I waved him off.

"Nnnnngh! You little runt! DAH! Hey, not so rough---"

"Hehehehehe," Terra giggles insanely. "Ohhhhhhhh, Bard. Welcome to the Big City."

"Emphasis on 'big'," Beast Boy sweatdrops. "Who's that 'Jenny' person anyways? Bard's stunt double?"

"Yeah, if he gained two hundred pounds," Terra says. She blinks. "And….A-And visits Key West."

"Cy, I'm going crazy. Where the heck are Robin and the others?"

"Not sure what Robin's up to," Cyborg shrugs. "Some sort of researching or something-or-rather."

"It's not like him to miss an investigation like this," Terra blinks. "For all we know, this Mad Mod person may have a terrible vendetta out against the beauty pageant!"

"You think?" Beast Boy gestures. "Though, God knows why."

Cyborg folds his arms and makes an ugly face. "The English Dude is always trying to mess up all sorts of artistic stuff here in Jump City, under the excuse of 'Britainizing it'….or whatever. Personally, I hate the Sixties."

"I like the seventies, myself," Beast Boy raises a hand with smirk.

"Hehe," Terra curtsies. "Fifties." She looks over. "Noir?"

I bite my lip….

"ANYWAYS," Cyborg frowns and gathers all our attention. "While Robin's off doing whatever, Raven's back at the Tower trying to 'rest up' from this morning. Starfire has gone out for a flight or something. Static X is making a phone call to his gang back in Dakota. That leaves us to try and work with the law enforcement here and figure out exactly what happ—Oh, speak of the devil."

We all turn to see….

….Detective Decker is walking up. He pockets away a phone and looks at us with a deadpan half-glare. "Well, Mod's back. And we at the Department couldn't be more pleasantly **pissed**. I just got done talking to the Mayor on the phone…" The detective casually lights a cigarette and continues speaking. "He ain't happy with this. Turns out this Jump City Pageant crap is really damn important to the continued structural society of our neighborhood. Pfft…Whatever. Anyways, Suzette would love to see you Titans conjure up a way to—"

"Sir?" A security guard waltzes up.

"H-Huh?" Decker looks over.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to put out that cigarette."

"Oh really?"

"If you smoke, I'll have to write you up."

Decker shrugs. "Well, I spent the last two weeks putting two rapists, an arsonists, and a downtown park flasher into jail. So I guess it wouldn't hurt to balance things out, wouldn't it?"

The security guard blinks blankly at that.

Decker turns back to us. "Anywho. The mayor figures—'Hey, they're Titans. They've battled this London screwball with puss-for-teeth before. Let 'em handle it'! Of course… …heh… …I can't say all of that with the Mayor's usual faggoty, French accent. But you catch my drift, vrai?"

"Uhhh…**Vrai**," Beast Boy nods.

"Good. Now while the rest of us here without superpowers wrack our brains and stress every second of the waking day figuring out how in the Blue Hell to protect the most publicized mid-pubescent tart-show on the West Coast with top-grade security, I want YOU TITANS.. ….to lend a hand or sword or tentacle or whatever in figuring out how to out-smart this Mad Mod moron. That's the least I can ask of you guys, right?" He flicks the cigarette into a palm tree and squints at us. "Say, where's the bird?"

"Who, Raven?"

"No, the loud one."

"… … … … …Static?"

"He means **Robin** you silly!" Terra hisses at Beast Boy, then smiles pleasantly at the Detective. "He's.. ….doing his homework."

"Ah… …well, as long you have at least the second best crew on the watch, fine by me," Decker glances aside at me, pauses, and points: "Just make sure jailbait here doesn't lead the charge. I've had enough murder to deal with in my career."

My jaw drops. I fume and grit my teeth at him.

Dang it, you….

Stupid head!

"At ease, Noir," Cyborg waves. He nods at the Detective. "We'll do the best that we can, Walker."

"It's '**DECKER'**, dammit!"

Cyborg winces. "Erm….s-sorry…."

"YEESH!" Decker tosses his arms up and walks off in a huff. "Why do young kids these days ALWAYS DO THAT!"

Riiing-Riiing!

"Snkkkt" Click. "—Hello, Walker here—Dammit—I MEAN 'DECKER'! **DAMN**! Hold on, Warden, I'm getting some interference…. …."

And he's gone.

"So… … …," Beast Boy glances our way. "Any bright ideas?"

I hand-sign. I gesture. I charade. I hand-sign some more. I perform a salute, finish, then smile.

"…. …. …."

"… …. ….."

"… … .. …."

The Titans stare at me blankly.

"…. … .. ….somebody get Bard back here."

I sweatdrop—

"I think if we come up with a plan—ANY plan at all, it'll be up to us five."

"Well that stinks," Beast Boy folds his arms. "Robin and Static are half of the brains these days."

"HEY! I'm pretty dang smart too, little man!"

"No, you're **nerdy**. Being smart is a side effect."

Cyborg holds a finger up… …pauses… …and lowers it with an exhale. "I'm gonna have to give ya that one."

"Well, you guys wanna hear me out or somethin'?" Terra chirps. "What if—like—we somehow found a way to situate ourselves INSIDE the pageant? I mean, if we got some sort of inside perspective on the goings-ons so that the soonest Mad Mod tried to pull something, we could radio in to the rest of the team? Just…we need to find some way to actually BE AT the PAGEANT. As if, one of us was here. Hiding. But—not, like, conspicuously. But in some way that nobody would expect nothing of it and….a-and then we could….erm…….," Terra bites her lip. "… ….wh-why is everyone l-lookin' at me like this?"

Beast Boy is staring lovingly at Terra.

Cyborg is rubbing his chin.

I squint my black eyes.. …study Terra… ….and smirk.

"Ya know… … …I've heard ya sing a few times, Terra," Cyborg points. "You ain't half bad when it comes to a pretty ballad."

Terra squints her eyes at him. "… …yeah?"

"And you've got a smile to die for," Beast Boy adds. "Not to mention you fill someone with butterflies to so much as listen to—"

"See her hair? Easy manageable."

"And with some heels, she just might be tall enough to be in the camera shot."

"What's the Pageant in now, Beast Boy? The Finals?"

"Yeah, they conclude in a couple of days."

"With this Mad Mod issue, a few dropouts can be expected. You think the Pageant will be looking for new, last-minute entries?"

"Ohhhhhhhhhh yeah….," Beast Boy winks.

Cyborg winks.

**I** wink.

Terra looks at us all. Then she gets it. She gasps and scoots backwards, wringing her gloved hands. "Ohhhhhh no. Ohhhhh no no no no no….," Terra bites her lip. "I…I-I can't! I won't!"

"You'd get to ride around in a limoooooo!" Cyborg coos.

"And I know they'd fit you with prettiest gown," Beast Boy nudges her.

"Knock it off!" She frowns and shoves him. "I ain't doing that! And it's final!"

"Terra, people's lives may be at stake."

"This is Mad Mod we're talking about. Not the brightest apple in the bunch—but still needs to be taught a lesson."

"I….erm….. …w-well.. …," Terra looks down at a spot in the floor. She wrings her hands more. She blushes and looks up with a hidden smile. "R-Really? A **pretty** dress?"

"Heh heh heh.. ….Cy! We're on a mission!"


	44. Pageantritus

Robin leaned over his work desk, peering over large, black and white pictures of the Soggy Bottom...the frigate where he and the Titans had tangled with Red-X and Chang and his teenage meta humans. He hadn't had the chance to go down there and nose around himself, but the police had. Walker had sent him the pictures. Robin stared intently at each one until his eyes started to blur. He couldn't find a thing out of place. He picked up a cell phone blindly while still looking at the pictures. He dialed a number and held it up to his ear.

"_Walker here."_ He answered on the other end. _"What the hell do you want?"_

"Walker, this is Robin. I didn't want to interrupt you at a crime scene but-"

"_I'm not at a crime scene. I'm a lazy bastard."_

"...Oh. I thought you would be at the mall."

"_Nah, I sent Decker on it. It was a damn good game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Anyway, I could say the same for you, Bird Boy."_

Robin grit his teeth but let it pass.

"I have some of the other Titans on it. Cyborg, Beast Boy, Terra, Bard and Noir. They should be more than enough to handle it."

"_Yeah, but can they get a damn thing done without you shouting orders at'em?"_

"...I hope so. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about the ones arrested on the Sog-...on the frigate. Acyd, Miist, Polaar and Fraust-"

"_Stupid frickin' names, I tell ya. Whatever happened to John and Bob and Ryan and Ashley? Y a know, NORMAL NAMES."_

"...yeah. I wanted to know if you've talked to them."

"_Not really. I gave'em the preresiquite 'don't give me no shit' speech while blowing smoke in their faces, but that's about it."_

"Did any of them mention Flaar?"

"_Flaar?"_

"He was one of the meta human accomplices that got away."

"_Oh."_ Walker thought about it. _"I'd bet your panties they didn't. They've barely said a damn word since getting here."_

"All right," Robin nodded, oblivious that the detective couldn't see the gesture. "I'll be down there to talk to them myself...sometime."

"_Yeah, well, good luck with that. Now get your ass off my phone so I can call Holly and make sure she's all right."_

"Is something wrong?"

"_You didn't know? My baby's in the beauty pageant. Gonna win the damn thing, too. Now go lay an egg or whatever the hell it is you do when you ain't screaming 'Titans, go!'."_

**CLICK!**

Robin shut off the phone and laid it back on the table. He sighed, rubbed his eyes and went back to the pictures.

TTTTTTTTTT

Elsewhere in Titans Tower, someone else was on the phone.

"I'm tellin' ya, Ritchie! It would be frickin' royal!" Static in a rolling chair in the lab with his feet up on the table. "Yeah, man! It would be like...a super cameo! Static and Gear back together old sckool style! Except it would be even more bad ass because the Titans would be with us, ya know? We'd beat up some baddies and like...go get pizza or something. I hear the Titans love to do that."

Static listened.

"Well...no. Not yet. I'm sure they're waiting for a special occasion or something. Yeah. So yeah, anyway, SUPER CAMEO! Gear strikes fear while kicking rear! Ya know? And while you're here you could totally amaze Cyborg with your brain. We could make fun of Robin and then run away before he could bash us over the head with his bo-staff...OH! Hehehehe. And you could flirt with Raven! I know you've always had a crush on her, dawg."

Static listened.

"Hah! Don't even try it. You can't lie to me, Ritchie! I'm your best friend. I know you! I can see it now!" He tried to make a girly voice. "Oh, Gear! Your inventions are simply glorious! And your blonde hair...those deep eyes...take me now, Gear! TAKKKEEE MEEEEE!"

Static fell off his chair, cackling.

He suddenly stopped.

"WHAT? YOU LIKE _ROBIN?"_ He listened. "Oh...jeez, dawg. You almost had me there! Hahahahah!"

He saw Starfire pass by the door. His face grew serious.

"Yo, Ritchie...let me call you back, man. Yeah, Titan stuff. Peace."

He pocketed the phone and went out into the hallway after Starfire.

TTTTTTTTTT

I stepped out of Jenny's western store, already feeling more masculine. Jenny had tried to thrust all kinds of clothes on me, most of them I refused. He had immediately thrown a black trench coat at me, but I declined. I suppose it looked good enough, but _all_ the new superheroes were wearing trench coats nowadays. I'd stick with my poncho, thank you very cotton pickin' much.

I did trade in my black cowboy boots for some gray snake-skin boots. Those things were awesome. They were free and I couldn't resist. I'm sure Robin would frown on my taking rewards for doing my Titan job...but oh well. What Robin didn't know wouldn't hurt me. Hopefully.

I made my way back down the hallway towards the pageant stage...or what was left of it. As I maneuvered my way through the arcade, I saw some familiar faces. Lisa, Hope, Janice and Tiffany were there, as if they'd been waiting for me. They turned to me as one person.

"You!" Lisa pointed. "I knew I'd seen you somewhere before."

I blinked.

"Um...whatever are you talking about, darlin'?"

"Don't play dumb! You're the new Teen Titan, aren't ya?"

I was caught now. I gave a nervous little nod.

"Hah!" Hope exploded. "I told ya! I TOLD YA!"

Tiffany rolled her eyes.

"You so did not!"

"Well...I was thinking it."

"I know what you were thinking of..."

Hope blushed.

"SHUT UP!"

"Hehehehehe!"

I was looking at Lisa.

"How did you know?"

"How couldn't we?" She shot back. "Everyone's talking about your brawl with that British robo-soldier. The news even has clips from the security cameras and are showing it on TV."

"Huh...ain't that spiffy?" I shook my head. "Listen, I gotta go. Teen Titans business and all."

"Awwww," Janice pouted. "He's too good for us little people now."

"Shush."

"Hey, cowpoke!" Lisa called after me. "Just because you're a Titan doesn't mean I didn't kick your ass in Superhero Smackdown!"

I didn't need to be reminded of that.

Cyborg, Beast Boy, Terra and Noir stood by the ruined pageant stage. I trotted up to them.

"Did I miss anything?" I looked at Noir. "And I thought you had my back, by the way."

Noir stuck his tongue out at me.

"We got a plan." Beast Boy smirked. "Terra here is going undercover as a pageant contestant."

Terra blushed when I looked at her.

"Is that right...?" I blinked. "But wasn't this for the finals? How's she supposed to get in now?"

"After the Mad Mod thing," Cyborg said. "A lot of the girls are dropping out. Can't really blame'em. Terra will take one of their spots."

I thought about it.

"So...more than one girl is gonna drop out? They need replacements?"

"Dude, I don't think your eligible, Bard." Beast Boy quipped.

"Maybe." I smirked. "But I know someone who is. Be right back."

I shambled my way back over towards the arcade.

"Oooohhhhh, Lisssssssssssssaaaaaa!"


	45. Dakota Dearest

Static worms his way around a hallway corner inside Titan's Tower.

"Mmmm… …where in Heaven did she go… …?" He whispers to himself. He tilts his head up. He sniffs the air. "Follow the faint scent of lavender—AH! Hey! Star!" He jogs over.

Starfire is seated lonesomely inside the cranny of a circular reading window built into the Western Wing of the Tower. The sight exposes the sun-glitter'd lengths of Pacifica before and beyond the iconographic Suspension Bridge of Jump City.

The Tamaranian girl's expression—however—is far from 'glittery'. She sighs a ho-hum alien sigh and resumes her lonely brooding at the window.

Static pleasantly strolls up. "Hey girl, s'up?"

"Mmmm… …Dearest friend," Starfire murmurs. "There is only one thing that is commonly up in this terrestrial abode of ours. And that is the cosmos…. …" Her amber face hardens ever so slightly. "… …which is sincerely a much more committed and sensible domain than that within which I am presently suspended."

"Awwww.. ….Don't sound so down!" Static squats down besides her on the floor and looks up. "Talk to me. I know I'm still a rookie at this place and all, but that means I can't be a good listening buddy, huh?"

"… … …. …"

Static smiles gently. Warmly. "Didja finally talk to Robin?"

She slowly nods. "Affirmative. I most certainly did."

"Heh, well that's nice—"

"And he was **most** **certainly** **limited** in providing me the gracious assistance required in tracking down the elusive, Tamaranian spirit we so recently encountered."

"…. ….," Static blinks. "Oh." He bites his lip and scratches the back of his neck. "I… ..erhm….Well," he smiles hopefully. "R-Robin is a busy dude, Star---"

"It is not his business nor his superheroic ethics that I am in disagreement with, dearest Virgil."

"My name is Sta---ahem," the electrokinetick clears his throat and simply smiles. "Wh-What I mean to say is, go on."

"Rather, I am disappointed in… …much more ambiguous things concerning our team leader."

"Well now, Star," Static shrugs. "When it comes to Robin—a former member of the Dynamic Duo—how 'ambiguous' can you be or not be? Eh heh heh heh…."

Starfire does not so much as giggle.

"… …. ….'Eesus, you really ARE down, aren't you?" Static leans in. "Care to share?"

"I do not know if you would understand even if I attempted such."

"I'm used to a shock or two," Static winks. "Try me, girl."

"With Robin.. …. …things have always been of a confusing nature," Starfire sits up a bit and gestures. "But in.. ….In th-the last few Earth-Months, I was almost certain I knew the exact nature of his feelings! It was no longer a mystery! He and I were… ….were….." She sighs with a touch of distant dreaminess in her sad eyes. "… … …we were more than just friends."

Static leans his head forward and gradually nods. "You… …werrrrrrrrre---girlfriend and boy—"

"—friend, yes," she nods. "But.. …I sincerely doubt if that pair earthling colloquialisms still holds true to our relationship any further." She sighs and slowly lets her eyelids lower like flower petals as she adds: "Only 'yesterday', he would gladly have given his all to help me in this most urgent matter. And I do not think it a selfish thing for me to expect such from him in my regard. But now, it is not the case. He has returned to the metaphorical embodiment of machina that he once so regimentally suited in personality. And I fear that there is nothing to salvage the brief yet heavenly warm soul that I was once privy to."

"Well, yeah, Star, Robin is a workaholic but—"

"He has abandoned me to my own devices in my search," Starfire utters with a slight frown. "With the exception of sparse data from his own interrogative searches and a limit of one enlisted Titan in assisting my investigation." She glances helplessly at Static. "The Robin I knew---The Robin I thought I knew would go much further than that."

Static takes a deep breath. After a while, he summons a smile for her and softly manages: "Well, I think you need to give yourself more credit than this, Starfire. From the looks of things, you're probably the only Titan here best suited for tracking this 'Flaar' down. That's what you wanna do, right?"

She nods in melancholy fashion.

"Then let that situation be your one and only concern. Looks like you know Robin enough to tell when he's---well—unapproachable. And from little I know about you, Starfire, I can guess that you're nothing but a badass warrior inside. And you're more than capable of doing this search. Even without him! What's more, you know that deep down inside that moping around and feeling sorry about Robin's—erm—stubborn ambiguity is no way of finding out just what's happened to this 'Flaar' person. Maybe in the future, Robin will come around. Maybe he won't. But there's one thing that certainly won't change…."

She leans her cute head to the side. Emerald eyes fluttering. "And what is that, Virgil?"

He winks. "That you're one swell gal, Star. Nobody in a cape can change that. Eyemasks may be blinding every now and then, but just remember that it's the universe and the universe that holds true."

"….. … …. …." Starfire looks at Static.

"… … …. ….." Static looks at Starfire.

"…. … … …." Starfire smiles.

"There's that grin!" Static winks. "Now are you going to get into action, girl?"

"I most emphatically agree…," she kicks up and off the window sill and hovers in place.

(Hovering. A sign of joy.)

"And….," she lifts a finger and pleasantly states. "Since I am apparently a warrior who is appropriately wicked-of-the-proverbial-donkey, liked you stated, I shall see to it that the information regarding this poor young boy's whereabouts are related to me. Even if I were to covertly give the Jump City Penitentiary a visit and interrogate them myself!"

"Eh heh heh heh….," Static sweatdrops. "Let's not get t-too carried away, Star. After all, I worry about you too—"

Starfire suddenly gasps, two hands girlishly cupped underneath her chin. "Oh! OH! I just have encountered the most glorious of epiphanies!"

Static leans his head to the side. "Oh? You have?"

She floats toward him. "Virgil, I would be most wondrously honored if you were to travail upon being my partner of singular allowance for this mission."

"…. … …." Static blinks. "…. …. ….m-me?"

"Hehehe—Yes! You are intelligent, heartwarming, AND versatile in the field! I am certain you would be of great assistance in this investigation as you have been assisting as a friend!"

"Yeah heh heh heh…," Static scratches the back of his head. "Well.. …I-I—"

"Ohhhh DO please say you will help me, dearest Virgil! We would make ever the functional pair!"

"P-P-Pair?" Static wheezes.

"Affirmative! In accumulating information, yes?"

"Well… …erm….wh-why don't we—eheheh—bounce this idea off of Robin first?"

"But you yourself said that caped superheroes hold no judgment over my better planning. And this is a beautifully perfect plan, is it not?"

"I…erm…eheh…erm….I-I…."

"Pleeeeease, Virgil?" Starfire's eyes brim with pinpricks of magical sparkly princess goodness.

"… ….. ….," Static gulps. "Y-Yeah. Sure. My weekly planner is clear!"

"GLORIOUS!" She hugs him crushingly. "This will be an adventure to remember!"

"Snkkkt---Y-Yeah….," Static wheezes and rolls his eyes back in a faint manner. "… ….R-Ritchie…. ….what are you doing right now?

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"EEEEK! DADDY LONG LEGS! DADDY LONG LEGS! GET OUT OF MY BATHTUB!"

FWOMP!

"GET OUT!"

FWOMP!

"SKAT!… …. …. …Oh spectacular…EGGS."


	46. Gussy the Goth

Back in the arcade, I put my arm around Lisa's shoulders like she was my best friend in the whole wide word.

"I got a proposition for ya, darlin'."

Lisa shuddered from the human contact.

"If you're asking me out on a date, the answer is no."

"I'm not asking you on a-" I stopped. I blinked. "The answer would be no?"

Janice, Tiffany and Hope all giggled at that as Lisa smirked. Talking to women was tough with an audience. Especially when the foresaid audience was filled with estrogen. I coughed and regained my composure.

"Ahem...anyway. This proposition might even make you a honorary Titan or something."

Lisa glanced up at me.

"...I'm listening."

"I bet you are." My eyes narrowed. "...You'd _really_ say no?"

"Bard! What. Do. You. Want?" She stressed every word with a hiss.

I cleared my throat.

"You noticed that British fella...Mad Max?"

"Mod."

"Right-o. Mad Mod. He's threatened to take over the beauty pageant finals next week."

Lisa folded her arms across her chest.

"What does this have to do with me?"

"Well, ya see, a few of the ladies have dropped out of the pageant. Might be dangerous and all, ya see. But with them dropping out...that's gonna leave some spaces that need to be filled..."

Lisa cut her eye at me.

"...Why am I suddenly cold?"

"All I want you to do is enter the contest yourself. Go undercover and whatnot. See if you can find out anything."

"No."

"C'mon! It'll be a cake walk! You'll have fun!"

"..."

"I'll buy ya the purdiest dress on God's green earth with my own personal money. I'll be at your beck and call for any and everything you need."

"..."

I wasn't swaying her. I turned to Tiffany, Hope and Janice for help.

"Help me out, girls. Don't ya'll think it'd be fun to gussy Lisa here all up? Do her make-up and hair and...whatever else it is women do to each other."

Janice giggled.

I looked at her. I pointed.

"Contain yourself, girl."

"...heh. Yes, sir."

I could see the wheels in Hope's head turning.

"It _would_ be kinda fun." She said to Lisa. "It'd beat hanging out in the arcade all day, anyway."

Lisa looked down at her feet.

"...I like hanging out in the arcade." She mumbled.

I decided to try a different approach.

"What's the matter?" I smirked. "Don't think you're pretty enough?"

I was trying to get her competitive juices going. I tried to injure her pride just a bit so she'd jump up to prove me wrong. I was ready for a yell. Instead, I got a-

"..."

Tarnation! She really did think she wasn't pretty enough. I was going to set that straight real quick. With a inconspicuous gesture, I told the other girls to back up a bit.

"Listen to me, girl and listen good." My voice was low as I leaned down next to her ear. "You're at least as pretty as any of those girls, ya hear?"

"I'm a freak." Lisa whispered.

I didn't know whether to hug her or strangle her.

"The hell you are!" I said a little louder than I meant to. "You're unique. How many blue-eyed, blonde-headed girls have you seen in your life?"

"...A lot."

"Damn straight. Half the contestants are just that. Once you seen one of'em, you've seen'em all. You're not only beautiful, but you're real. You're interesting. Your face tells a story everyone wants to hear." I took a deep breath. "Look. If you don't want to do this, I understand. I certainly won't hold it against you...until my Superhero Smackdown rematch that is...but don't you dare...don't you _dare_ say no because you don't think you're purdy enough. Ya hear?"

Lisa looked at me. For the first time, I got an up close look at her. I assumed all she saw when she looked in the mirror was that eye patch. I saw so much more than that and imagined anyone would. She wore not an ounce of make-up. Her lips were small and soft. A cute nose with one or two barely visible freckles. A high brow and a regal chin. Delicate eyebrows. Dull eyes I knew could sparkle.

I waited for an answer.

She took in a deep breath.

"All right. I'll do it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah."

I grinned.

"Hehehe. That's my girl!"

Lisa looked at me sourly.

"How come I can't say no to you?" She grumbled.

"...Could it be my rugged good looks and sexy ways?"

"Huh...I doubt it."

I pratfalled.

"One more thing." I added. "When they ask you the question 'What would you want more than anything else in the world'...don't you even think about saying world peace."

Lisa stared at me.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"Lordy, I dunno." My brow furrowed. "Say...um...you'd get everyone in the world a puppy so everyone can feel the unwavering love you feel for them...or something."

"There's no way in hell I'm saying that."

I couldn't help it: I fell over, giggling my fool head off.


	47. This Is Not My World

"Come on out, Terra!"

"Nnnngh---I won't!"

"Do et! Do etttt!"

"Nuh uh! I-I feel silly!"

"Do it or I'm stuffing guacamole into your sock drawer from here to Ragnorak!"

"Grrrr—Oh, **alright!**" A shuffling, and the curtains to the elegant dressing room spread open. Terra sashays her graceful way forward, and the entire department of the store positively radiates in a golden glow. She's appareled in a modest, ankle-length gown with slightly ruffled spaghetti straps and the most **glittering** touch of platinum-yellow from top to bottom. There is a corsage adorned in the right temple of Terra's head, and the rest of her hair fountains in a half-braid beautifully towards the left in a gracefully following wave. A sparkly butterfly pendant dangles around her bare neck as she stands nervously in the clamshell crevice of numerous mirrors displaying her youthful glory from multiple angles. "So… …erm…." She blushes helplessly.

I smile. I give a thumb's up. I look towards my side.

"Heh heh.. ….absolutely angelic, little missy," Cyborg winks with his arms proudly folded. "I think we're breakin' the 'inconspicuous' part of your mission. But it doesn't hurt to show off a bit." The Android Titan glances aside. "Right, B.B.?"

"… … …"

"… .. …. …Beast Boy?"

Beast Boy teeters stiffly off the chair he's been squatting in. **THUD!**

I wince.

"Ack! Beast Boy!" Terra gasps, trying not to trip over her skirts.

"I'm fine! I'm okay!" Beast Boy coughs and hobbles up to his feet. He dusts himself off and smiles nervously. "I…erm…." His entire upper body becomes a conflict between pink and green. "…. ….Wow."

"Hehehe…is that all you've got to say?"

"… … .. … ..wow."

"Whatever, Beast Boy," Terra rolls her eyes and sweetly looks up to Cyborg. "I-I kinda wish that Starfire was here."

"Why? How's a feminine opinion better right now? You're drop dead gorgeous, rockgirl. I wouldn't be surprised if the sound of Mad Mod's ears whistling like a teakettle alert us to where he's sneaking around and brings this investigation to a close REAL quick!"

"Yikes. You think he's listening in on us right now?"

"Nah, that's not like the British Booger."

"Cuz that's really dangerous sounding. You sure my being in this Pageant is all that safe an idea?"

"Heck yeah, Terra! Besides, your being there will make EVERYONE all that more safe! If that redheaded creep so much as shows his moptop, you can—like—throw the pavement up into his face with a flick of your tiara!"

"Oh….heh….RIGHT!" Terra cackles with her slender arms folded. Glittering. "Like I'm REALLY fighting in this thing! Dresses are not made for combat, Beast Boy. But—heh—not like I'd expect YOU to know that."

"Or would she… …?" Cyborg wags a human eyebrow in Beast Boy's direction.

"Yeah, well I—HEY!"

"Hah hah hah!"

"Hee hee—Shhh! You're attracting attention from the other customers!"

"Let them look! You're a jaw-dropper."

"Awwww…B.B……"

I take a deep breath.

My black eyes are squinted.

For—in all honesty—it is very difficult to so much as **gaze** in her general direction.

The sparkling array of it all.

The beautiful blindingness.

Beautiful… …

Like a flower… ….

I sigh to myself, for a different thought completely has fluttered its happy way into my mind… .. …or much deeper.

And I realize that it is drawing towards evening time.

And I suddenly feel freer than ever before.

And I've felt this way before… ….on a daily basis.

I know what to do.

I gesture to Cyborg, hand-sign, and end in a salute and a wave.

Cyborg seems to know enough: "Uhhhh-Yeah, okay, Noir. Peace out."

"Bye, Noir."

"See ya, Noir!"

I casually wave at them one last time and trot off.

And it is more or less around the same time that Bard moseys on up and gazes at me making a soft exit.

"Hmmm.. …. it. It seems like everytime I enter a scene lately, he plum skedaddles on it."

"Yeah, for a crimefighting duo, you two sure don't stand shoulder to shoulder that often."

"What if you're both the same person?"

"Hardy har har," Bard chuckles, then gazes off where I've left with a subtle, knowing smile. "… ….this time of day.. …where else you'd be going, Noirry?" He winks to the air, then gazes back at the rest of the young Titans. "Anyways, I just got done propositioning a new contestant into the femme foray and—WHOAH! Hah! Now THERE'S a sunrise!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Heh heh heh.. …," the elderly gentleman with the sweatervest and beret takes my dollar bill and hands me a soft, succulently-bright carnation out from a bundle on his flower stand in a Downtown Intersection. "I dunno what use you make of all these carnations you're fetchin' from me on a weekly basis.. ….but all I can say is I wish I was your age again to find out.. …."

I smile at him.

I take the flower gently by the stem and slowly nod my head in a miniature bow.

"Say.. ….," he squints his graying eyes. "I think I've seen yer in some of them newspapers lately. You get around often, do you?"

I shrug.

"Don't speak much?"

I shrug again.

"… …have a girlfriend?"

I shr—I blush. Furiously.

"Eh he he he….. …Knew it! Gets 'em everytime," He gives me a shaky thumb's up and turns it into a veteran wave. "See ya later, sonny! Live your life long and warm! It's the only way ta do it!"

I smile nervously, wave back at him, and walk down the sidewalk full of street vendors. Evening traffic drifts by. The sounds of engines and sirens and whistles in the background.

I take a deep breath.

Beauty pageants are overrated.

I know a princess when I see one.

I take a deep breath, round a corner, and pick my pace up into a blindingly fast blur towards the Western District.

Even if I'm not worth being seen myself.

_For I am blessed… … …_

_This Is Not My World._


	48. Blondes

I stood there with Beast Boy and Cyborg looking at Terra, tapping my chin as I thought.

Terra was still blushing.

"S-Stop looking at me like that!"

"Hm?" I snapped out of it. "Oh...sorry. It's just...something's missing. I'm trying to figure it out."

"Dude, what could be missing? She's frickin' gorgeous."

"I didn't say she wasn't. It's just-AHA!" I snapped my fingers. "I figured out what's missing."

Everyone looked at me.

"Terra's a Titan, right? Always on the news and in the newspaper and all that. Don't you think someone at least will recognize her?"

"So what's the brilliant plan?" Cyborg asked.

"I personally can see Terra from a mile away. For one reason and one reason only: Her hair."

"My hair?"

"That's right darlin'. I suggest you dye it."

Terra thought about it.

"I guess that's a good idea."

Beast Boy nearly had stroke.

"_No!_" He shrieked.

We all looked at him.

"Dudes! Terra can't dye her hair! I forbid it!"

We blinked.

In a flash, Beast Boy stood besides her, clutching her golden blonde hair like a child with a blankie.

"What can't we?" I asked.

Beast Boy looked at me in shock.

"BLONDE!"

"Um..." We watched dazedly as he ran his green fingers through it.

I smirked.

"You don't just love Terra for her hair, now do ya, Beast Boy?"

"W-what? Of course not!" He paused. "But...but...but...BLONDE!"

We all shook out heads.

"Don't worry." Terra told us. "I'll calm him down enough so we can do it."

Cyborg and I exchanged glances and, despite how much we might have wanted to, we were polite enough not to ask how.

TTTTTTTTTT

Night had fallen and the headlight of motorcycle shot out a beam that thrust it away like lance. As I've said, I don't really like night in the city. But tonight, I find I'm enjoying it. If nothing else, it beat the glaring florescent lights of the mall. The darkness of the city was something you could get lost in. Sometimes, that was an appealing thought. Maybe that's why Noir always wanted to go out after the sun went down. Maybe not.

Noir's element is the night. It's like his home and it suits him perfectly. The darkness, the quiet, the mystery and intrigue. The night is where Noir belongs.

I like to think I belong under the noonday sun. When every thing is bright and vibrant and alive. The heat and the earth and wind. I think that's where I belong.

And yet, Noir and I work best together...at least, I think I do. We're total opposites, yet we've decided to get along just for the hell of it. He ignores the fact I'm a walking, talking cliché of epic proportions and I ignore the fact he can be as angsty as a twelve year old girl and we just go with the flow, whether it's just hanging out or kicking bad guy butt.

Or maybe I'm thinking to much.

Even more likely, maybe I just need a cigarette.

I rev the engine of my Harley and drive deeper into the night towards the ocean and Titans Tower.

TTTTTTTTTT

**CLICK CLANK!**

Robin stepped into the holding room inside the Jump City Police Department. He knew it better as an interrogation room. The only furniture was a cold white table and a few metal, straight-backed chairs. A surveillance camera was mounted in a corner and a one way mirror covered most of one wall. Around the table sat Miist, Polaar, Acyd and Fraust. Robin stood and put both of his gloved hands on the table.

"How are you doing tonight?"

Polaar and Fraust were silent.

"How do you think we're doing?" Acyd spit. She folded her arms across her chest.

"Speak for yourself, honey." Miist smirked. "I'm frickin' hunky dory."

"...I'm so glad." The slits of Robin's eye mask narrowed. "You understand how this works? I ask you questions and you answer them. Very simple."

"And boring." Miist yawned.

Robin ignored that.

"How did you find yourselves in Chang's employ?"

"How else?" Miist orated. "He saved us from Michael Jackson when he kidnapped us from Neverland Ranch. We were so grateful we had to help him out, ya know?"

"You're not funny."

"He knows." Acyd grumbled.

Still silent were Fraust and Polaar. Fraust looked down at her lap as if she didn't care what was going on. Polaar watched with calm, analyzing eyes.

"Where is Chang now?"

"If I were him," Miist theorized grandly. "I'd go to China. That way my name wouldn't sound so stupid. Heheheh!"

Robin ignored him.

"Acyd?" He asked.

The girl grunted.

"What did Chang want with Red-X?"

"A boyfriend?" Miist shrugged. "Heh...how are we supposed to know?"

"Are you saying you were just hired lackeys?"

"..." For once, Miist didn't have anything to say.

"Yeah, well, you can hum that story if you want, but I'm not buying it."

"Hehehe. Buy yourself a nest, instead."

"...Clever." Robin looked at them. "What can you tell me about Flaar?"

Miist looked at his accomplices and then back at Robin.

"We don't know who you're talking about, man."

Robin frowned.

"You understand that I'm the only one standing between you and wasting away in a cell?"

"...It doesn't matter." Fraust finally spoke. "We deserve our punishment."

Robin peered at her. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. His face went flat and he turned and left suddenly, his yellow and black cape rustling behind him.


	49. If I Could Trade Flowers for Fire

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I wake up with the most disturbing of thoughts. I take all of these things that are new and naked in my life: the crime-fighting, the Titans, the Tower, Bard, the fight on the frigate, even now this situation with Mad Mod… …

I take it all in my head and I rattle it in some proverbial jar, as if to see if the conflicting realities of my life will turn angry and fight each other.

And in the end, no matter what, I feel so horrifically, disastrously alone. Even with as wonderfully protective Bad has been for me, I cannot help but feel like an alien to this… … …. …to this **world** I have stumbled into.

And sometimes it makes me think that this is all a wyrd dream. The superheroic lifestyle. The Jump City adventures. The high speed chases and the bullet dodging. But what do I have to wake up to? People can never go backwards in life. Only forwards. I see nothing but the blackness of night in such a waking world of progression.

Perhaps that is why I have chosen to focus so hard on the loveliest of my 'dreams'. If I can learn to accept the finer aspects of this wonky world I've wobbled onto, then the less likely I'll be desiring to 'wake up'… … …as if it was possible to wake up from this confusing present to begin with.

I am here.

And I am here to give thanks to the blessing of a second chance… …

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

… …. …with a carnation in my hand.

I take a deep breath and smile flutteringly as I lay the blossom in question across the threshold of the rooftop greenhouse. I take a few gentle step backs. I look around the place.

It's your typical greenhouse.. …. I… …I-I guess.. ….

I've never been much of a botanist, but this place certainly is beautiful. In a homely way, it appeals to the wandering eye… …or black eye. A 'promenade' of hanging vines and flower shrubs anoints a cobblestone path between ferns and a few well-treated, miniature pear trees. The synthetic Garden of Eden ends in a bulbous 'sitting area' with an ornamental, statue fountain and a triad of benches. Even in the fading evening, I can see that the glassed-in 'park' receives an extra fair amount of sunlight to make reading, socializing, and whatever preparatory-school-girls do a pleasant thing.

I can't imagine a greater paradise for a greater princess. After all, she comes here all the time. Often by herself and—

Footsteps…. …

I spin around with a gasp.

What?.?.?

Holy Snikeys, they're early!.!.!

I had no idea--… .. …I didn't mean--… …Ohhhhh!

I twirl about, hold my breath, and blur forwards through the shrubbery. In a practiced plan of escape, I leap through the branches, morph into smoke form, and teleport my blurred way through a tiny crack in the corner of the slightly aged greenhouse's exterior.

**FWOOSH!**

As I materialize at the backside of the greenhouse, I start to hear chattering voices. The usual quasi-giggling affair of youthful estrogen. But her voice.. …I do not hear. She has a voice I can only 'read'.

I take another breath as I rush towards the edge, suicidally leap off with a pulse of murk---and land superheroically on a balcony of an apartment tower across the street. Th-Thwump! I blur again and streak up the building face till I reach a lofty balcony. I grab a platform above, hoist my body, and flip myself onto a ledge between stone gargoyles. A few pigeons flap and flutter away in a delayed reaction as I solidify into a crouching position. And from there, I narrow my black eyes, crane my neck, and gaze down… …down… .. …down at the sorority rooftop.

They are appearing in relatively 'sweaty' fashion. Jerseys and cleats… …a soccer ball bouncing between them. Only once have I seen them in actual 'practice', but it was just because I incidentally was tackling a robot thief alongside the Titans just outside the recreation field west of here. Gosh, did those metal knuckles sting.. ….

I hold my breath. I crane my neck further—and there she is. The sight deflates my lungs and inflates my heart.

She wanders through the crowd of thick, friendly "Hey Fei', 'Good game, Fei', 'Hey Lindsey! Tell Fei I want to borrow her shin guards sometime!' She registers them, and she doesn't. She's in her own world. She always is. And it's a beautiful, graceful world. Never betrayed by the P.E. clothes she may or may not be donning. Her silken, ebony hair is in a ponytail and she draws it over her right shoulder before gently hand-signing to a friend and smiling about one conversational thing or another.

I know it is only a matter of time. And with each ensuing week, it happens faster than before. She will drift her way through the crowd and make her nightly visit to the greenhouse for some reason or another. And I can even see her on her way now, and I anticipate the gracing of the carnation. The cooings and the giggling jokes her friends will make. And that ever-rosy blush on her cheeks as she embraces a soft-petal'd beauty trying vainly to mimic her own.

Things like these are what I live for. And I realize that this is the apex of my 'dreaming'. It comes more often as a joy. But—tonight of all nights—there is sometimes that tiniest yet deadly touch of pain… …regret… … …remorse… …

I take a deep breath and sit back on the ledge. I then exhale out through my nostrils and shut my black eyes.

_What am I doing here?_

_I really don't mean anything to this strange beauty of a girl at some lofty school in the middle of the City…. …._

_This is the second night in a row that I've gone through my floral tradition._

_It's bordering on obsession, and I know it. It's downright sick, and I haven't denied that._

_It's just that.. ….that… …_

I shudder. I slowly sit back amidst the shadows and stone. I hug my knees to my chest and gaze tiredly towards the rooftop and greenhouse one space away.. ….

_What can you do to a person who not only embodies such wonderful beauty.. … … …but deserves it?_

_What is the proper way to worship someone when you are so completely unworthy?_

_I have had a life changing experience. And it happened after I came to this world. And even after meeting Bard… …_

I breathe.

I shut my black eyes and hide my face against my knees.

_Fei-yan.. …._

_Beautiful Fei-yan…. …._

_How did you do it?_

_I owe everything to you.. …_

_Absolutely everything, I owe to you… .. …._

And I drift.

Back.. … …Back…. ….

…. …. …..

… …..

…..

-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-

**_CRUNCCCH!_**

_With a flurry of hot ash, Bard kicked the door down. Poncho flailing he stormed into the burning, twelfth-story hallway like the mountain of a man he was. He covered his mouth with his sleeve and squinted against the ash and smoke smoke smoke.. …. …_

_Then he saw it. A window stretched out before a metal escape platform leading downward in rusted stairs._

_"Lord Almighty, how I hate these damned infernos with a passion.. …," he murmured to himself. He coughed, ducked low, and turned about to shout down the hallway space behind him: "NOIR! Get a move on, buddy! I've found a way out for them folks!"_

_I was running towards him, but not at the fastest pace. It was because I was escorting at least half a dozen family members in their bed clothes across the burning interior of the wealthy apartment complex. I kept them in a crouch so as not to inhale the billowing fumes collecting around the ceiling. In spare rooms on either side of us the hottest tongues of flame had spread, and a flickering wall of Hell was parading its way closer and closer towards us on all sides till it was hard to tell exactly where the arson fire must have started._

_Bard motioned and shoved the helpless citizens along. He was dressed in black under his poncho… … …in much a similar way that I was dressed in black from head to toe as well. Before joining that City's Titans, we had resorted to the darkest most BLACK 'combat gear' imaginable. It somehow helped us blend into the night. That evening, it was making it hard for each vigilante partner to see each other amidst the dark haze of hellfire forming a gauntlet around us._

_"Stand back!" Bard hummed a tune and magically summoned a club of thick ice. He swiftly swung it into the window's glass. **SHATTER!.!.!** A path to the fire escape had been opened. "Okay, folks! Get a move on!" He blew the broken glass out of their barefoot way with the wind song. "Heh… …reckon there ain't no use saving a window pane that's gonna go up like timber anyways, huh?"_

_My buddy Bard was making a joke. And I knew it wasn't funny. Not because the panicky apartment people we were saving that evening failed to laugh. But because something else was on the cowboy's mind. Every breath he took was labored and he sweated from more than the heat. I felt like something was gnawing at him worse than the building's gradually melting framework._

_"There, they're out!" Bard shouted above the crackling, thundering sensation as he escorted the last of the family members out to safety. "That leaves us with just one last floor!"_

_I nodded. I was panting. Sweating. I didn't need to tell Bard—I just showed it with every wince and shudder that the flickering flames were doing horrific numbers on my sensitive black eyes._

_"If we make it out of this crud, I'm buyin' you some god-forsaken goggles or somethin', kid!" Bard grumbled as he led the way towards the stairwell, covering himself and I from the ash-laden debris crackling overhead. "You may be able to outrun a bullet, but a burn is a burn, Noirry! Don't make me have to tan a hide that's already skin-red!"_

_Bard was yelling at me. But he was mad at the fire. He was mad at the building for crumbling down. He was mad at the faceless arsonists and then some. I weathered it, for deep down inside we were both still very young and very scared. Worrying about him kept me from worrying too much about the people we were trying to save._

_Or worrying about the people we saw.. …. ….and couldn't save.. …._

_"Everyone's plum lucky we were just a street away when the napalm or whatever went kablooie," Bard panted as we clamored our way up the red-hot stairs. The metal hand-rails seared at the touch. We winced our way to the top of the inferno. "We gotta keep doin' our job, Noirry. Even if any second, the Titans may rightfully get here." A pause, and he added with a breathless nod: "Somethin' tells me you and I ain't gonna be incognito fellas for long."_

_I nodded in mute acceptance of that. That could be dealt with later._

_Bard arrived at the top of the stairwell. There was a thick door lit with small patches of fire. Above the thunder, I heard Bard shout:_

_"It looks shut mighty tight! Stand back as I give 'er a whack for old time's sake!"_

_I was in a daze suddenly and for some reason. Thus, it wasn't until the last second (WHUD! WHUD!) that I looked closely at the door Bard was kicking in (WHUD! WHUD!) and realized that there was an extra-heavy layer of smoke pouring out of it right as—_

_"YAAAAH!" Bard slammed his foot up extra hard._

_And just as the door—**CRUNCH!**_

_I gasped. I dove straight into him and plowed him down to the stairwell platform floor—_

**_PHWOOO-OOOOMMMMB!_**

_A backblast roared overhead as a plume of fire fountained out of the hallway and into the fresh oxygen of the stairwell._

_I flattened the two of us to the ground. And just as the unbearable heat came to consume us, I clung closely to my best friend, concentrated hard, and layered us with a blurring cocoon of smoke. Our bodies shifted through the hot smoke coming from the blast just long enough for Bard to summon an icy wind that blew the flames back and gave us a space to recover._

_When we stumbled back up to our feet, there was very little breath to share. Bard had no comment on just how 'close that was'. He merely wheezed and waved us forward into a dizzying charge down the flame-broiled hallway._

_We kicked and punched and sliced every apartment door down. It was a wealthy place, with plenty of furnishings and posh decorations to burn up into dust. And, surprisingly enough, with every successive apartment, there were no signs of residents._

_Or no signs of survivors…_

_**THUD!** Bard crouched and stuck his head in. "ANYONE THERE?"_

_…_

**_THUD!_**

_"ANYONE THERE?"_

_…_

**_THUD!_**

_"HELLO! WE'VE COME TO SAVE YOU! ANSWER US!"_

_I was starting to get extra-super-nervous at that time. My hands were shaking. I looked all around, and the fumes were suffocating. Even I—a smoking adept at Balance—was having a hard time maintaining sanity—_

_"Over there!" Bard pointed with a shout._

_I spun around. I saw a double-door entrance to an apartment. It was a grand residence.. ….MORE than a residence. A plaque with inscriptions rested on the wall before the entrance. Through the flame and smoke, I could only make out 'Akhtar' and 'School'._

_I soon discovered that which made Bard utter such an exclamation. There were voices calling out from the other side of the smoke-stained doors. And they were calling out for us._

_"Jesus, they must all be holed up in there… …," Bard marched towards the window and rammed, rammed, rammed his shoulder against the double doors. To no avail. "Con sarn it.. ….NOIR!"_

_I nodded. **CHIIIING!** I pulled out Myrkblade and stepped forward._

_"STAY CLEAR OF THE DOOR!" Bard cupped his hands over his lips in between wheezes and shouted: "WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU OUT!"_

_I held the wooden blade up, 'collected' a bulbous plume of smoke from the environment around me, and used it to sharpen the weapon I was presently wielding in a lightning-fast downstrike._

**_SLIIIIIIIIIICE!_**

_I cut a slash straight through the doors, followed by—_

**_SLASSSSH! SLASH-SLASH-SLASH-SLASH!_**

_--a merciless dicing of the inner frame._

_"Nnnngh!" Bard the reared up the sole of his boot and—_

_**POW!** He kicked the door to shreds. Immediately, at least twenty or so high-school aged girls leapt back with a shrieking gasp._

_Bard and I stood in the doorframe, blinking for a half moment of absorption. But no sooner—_

_"Okay, we're gettin' y'all out of here! One by one! Let's get the Hell out of burning dodge, ladies!"_

_"Wh-Who are you two?"_

_I was already gently but assertively moving each of the girls out of the smoky foyer and into the hallway as Bard stepped in and replied:_

_"We're a bunch of nobodies. But a benevolent bunch of nobodies, mind you."_

_"A-Are you the T-Titans?" one girl in smoked pajamas trembled._

_Bard looked at me._

_I looked at Bard._

_Bard looked back at the girls. "You reckon we look like Tar Heels to you?"_

_**CRKKK-RKKKK!** The entire apartment shook and buckled around us._

_The girls gasped._

_Bard and I looked up._

_A huge crack formed in the ceiling. Smoke and flame spewed._

_"Oh gawd Oh gawd Oh gawd!'_

_"What's happening?"_

_"Everything's shaking!"_

_Bard sweated. "Shucks….," he murmured. "This whole place is about to go down like a house of cards…."_

_Too many girls heard him slip that out for their own good. The billowing room turned twice as loud with conglomerated moans and shrieks._

_"Don't panic—DON'T PANIC!" Bard shouted. "Noir! Round the rest of 'em up and let's get moving—"_

_"Ohmigod!" one girl gasped. "Fei! FEI! Have you seen Fei?"_

_"Oh god, Fei!'_

_"Where is she?"_

_"Alice too!"_

_"Oh god, they must still be in their bedrooms!"_

_"But-But—"_

_"Oh gods, we gotta do something!"_

_"Just hold it right there," Bard placed a hand on the nearest girl's shoulder. He then craned his neck and stepped deeper into the smoke-filled apartment. "FEI! FEI, WHERE ARE YOU—"_

_"No! You don't get it!"_

_"Fei's deaf!"_

_"You have to save her!"_

_Bard wildly flailed his arms and cackled: "You reckon even Heidi Keller would sleep through this crap?.?.?"_

_"**Hellen**"_

_"Snkkkt—Shut yer lady-hole, prep princess. I know, I know—Now give us a second to go and fetch her—"_

_I whistled shrilly. I had advanced a few steps and I was pointing towards a door across the fire that was half ajar. A body was trying to shove it open, but a fallen grandfather clock amidst the flames had caught itself in the frame._

_"It's them! It's them!"_

_"P-Please! Save them too!"_

_"I got it, Noir," Bard hummed and aimed his wrist at the flames between us. "If you got them…"_

_I nodded. I got into a running position—_

_**SPLOOOOO-OOOOOOOOSSSSH!** Bard shot a tentacle of water from a half-spilled fountain behind him and doused a path in the flames ahead of me._

_**FWOOOSH!** I all-but-teleported straight ahead. **SL-SLASSSH!** I ripped the grandfather clock to shreds with Myrkblade—**CLANK!**—and sliced the door handle clean off. I pried the door open with Myrkblade and-_

_FWOMP! A coughing, smoke-scarred blonde girl fell into my arms. She wheezed and hacked against me._

_I winced, cursed my small frame, and shifted and struggled to swing the girl around me and out into the hallway—_

_"Here, man!" Bard ran up and cradled the girl, taking her from me in his strong arms. "I got her!" He nodded with his head. "You fetch the other one and let's get out of here! Pronto!"_

**_CRKKK!_**

_I nodded. I spun around. I had to squint my eyes to look into the room. The level of smoke was amazing. But I saw her. A helpless, petite figure in a nightgown.. ….her leg caught in the nook of a partially collapsed wall frame encircled with fire. I saw a tangled curtain of jet black hair draped over her brow as she fought to pry herself loose. She coughed in a low, hoarse voice and seemed to moan, wail for help._

_I bit my lip and blurred in—**WOOSH!** By the time I had solidified besides her, I was already feeling ash and bits of ceiling 'charcoal' falling on my shoulder. I looked up and was shockingly blinded by a solid wave of fire clinging to the structures still left hanging above us. Everything else was smoke and Hell._

_"Noir!" Bard's voice shouted from beyond. He had paused in his hurried exit with the girl in his arms and was desperately looking my way. "Get her free and get out of there! Now, buddy! NOW!"_

_CHIIIING! I pulled Myrkblade out and stood before the girl. I whistled._

_She didn't respond._

_I snapped a finger._

_She was still struggling with her predicament._

_"… … …" I firmly touched her shoulder._

_She looked up at me then. Frightened, teary almond eyes._

_And I looked back. A little too long for my own good._

_That's when the girl gasped. She pointed a finger up and blurted a half decent pronunciation of **"LOOK OUT"**._

_"?.?.?" I glanced up—_

_**CRKKKKKKK!** The ceiling was splitting open and a wave of fire seeped down._

_I gasped._

_She screamed._

_The girls screamed._

_Bard shouted: "NOIR!"_

_**SLIIIIIIIIIICE!** I cut a deep ravine in the floor, yanked out the girl's ankle, and dove the two of us towards the far side—_

**_SLAMMMMM! WHUDDDDD!_**

_A wave of hot dust flew at us as we tumbled._

_But then—_

**_CLAMP!_**

_I mentally yelped in mute pain. THAP! I fell down flat, my entire lower section pinned to the carpet in collapsed debris. I winced, but found my lungs empty of breath. Myrkblade had fallen from my grasp and lay a few inches from my aching fingers._

_**CRKKK-KKKK!** The building started to collapse around me even more._

_I started to panic. I couldn't concentrate on teleporting out of there. I was sapped of all energy, and the meditation of the Balance was sailing far, far away like a burning ship._

_All I could do was wince and stare across the space before me with me hazed black eyes. And I saw a frightened pair of eyes looking back at me. The girl was scrunched in the corner, hugging herself. Looking at me. Her lips agape and her expression… …_

_Fearful?_

_Regretful?_

_Hopeful?_

_"NOIR! NOIR, SPEAK TO ME!"_

_Her face faded away with the dancing fumes. I could feel in my very bones that the rest of the building was soon to crumble into to the Earth. There was nothing I could do. There was nothing I could do._

_"NOIR! OH GOD, NOIR! NO!"_

_The girl.. …_

_The City… …_

_My second chance…._

_"NOIR… ….PLEASE… …."_

_Smoke and smoke and…._

_There was nothing I could do…_

_I blacked out… …. ….. ….. …. …. …. …._

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_… …_

_…_

_The first thing I remembered seeing were the stars._

_And it felt so indescribably 'cool'._

_The fires were gone._

_The smoke had cleared._

_I was lying on my back…. ..charred and bruised… …but very much in one piece._

_And before I could bask in the glory of my existence, I became suddenly and annoyingly aware of a persistent beating motion being applied to my chest._

_With girl hands._

_I coughed. Wheezed. Hacked. And sat up, panting._

_She let out a frantic shriek and leapt back from me._

_Wait… …who?"_

_I looked up, weakly. Black eyes thin.. …_

_The girl from the collapsed room was kneeling besides me, her hands cupped over her lips._

_At the sight of me… …of me sitting up, she cried._

_Her eyes welled up in tears and she lowered her hands._

_And then she spoke to me. At the time, I was too dazed from the inhaled smoke to realize until later that she was talking to me through her hands._

_'I am so glad that you are alive. Thank God that you are alive.'_

_I blinked. I winced all over. I wanted to collapse and die… …_

_Or sleep._

_Where's Bard?_

_I shook._

_Where am **I**?_

_I sensed a brightness to the left of my black optics._

_I glanced over._

_A building as burning. THE building was burning._

_And it was an astonishing two blocks away._

_What the beautiful Hell?_

_I heard a whimpering._

_I looked back over at her. Confused and diffused. I might as well have been dreaming._

_'You saved my friends,' she signed. 'Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much… …'_

_And with a lasting sob, the silent maiden collapsed forward and clung to me. Sniffling and wetting my shoulder with her tears._

_And I was numb._

_And every shake of her tearfully happy frame against mine shook a few stitches free from my invisible insides._

_And it was without a surprise that—no soon after that—I fell back into the stars once more._

_And fainted…._

-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Bard tells me to this day that it's the one thing that almost makes him believe in miracles. And I don't blame him. I'm not even sure how the two of us ended up outside of that collapsed room—much less completely away of the burning building whatsoever.

But what I do know is that I'm alive right now, for better or for worse. And the second chance still persists.

I am alive for a reason. And that reason held me tenderly as I gave in to the chaos and settled into darkness, only to rise again the next morning.

_Fei-yan, I don't know how… …and I may not even know why._

_But I somehow owe my existence now to you._

_And yet… …_

_Yet you thanked **me**… …_

_I'm sure I don't know much about you. And you don't know much about me._

_But one thing I can say is certainly knowable about ourselves… …_

_You were the hero that night._

_Not me._

_I owe you more than all the flowers in the world for that… …_

I take a deep breath.

I stand up from that gargoyle'd ledge across the new sorority rooftop. I stare for a few lasting seconds at the Carnation-grasping maiden within the confines of the distant greenhouse.

And I breathe easier.

_If only I could give you more…. …_

_Even if giving you more means giving you less._

_Or nothing whatsoever---of me._

I turn.

I meditate.

I blur southward and towards the Tower in a streak of smoke.

Like the bitter-sweet fume of a memory.


	50. Blue Eyes of Flame

The roof of Titans Tower had unexpectedly become my place of refuge. It was the spot I went to smoke in secret, since none of the other Titans save Noir and Terra knew of my bad habit. But it was more than that. It was a peaceful, solitary place with a great view that entertained my eyes but left my mind free to wander.

A wandering mind can be a dangerous thing. Just like a wild horse, unbridled thoughts can run off and take you to a place you don't want to go. Tonight it happened to me.

I sat on the edge of the roof, staring out at the moon kissed waves. I soaked in the beauty as I relaxed my tired muscles. My brain was a muscle just like any other, though probably not my strongest one, and I relaxed it, too. The mental strain of superheroing can be tough on the noggin. My mind was blank when I popped a cigarette in my mouth and fished out a lighter. As I lit the tip of my cigarette, my eyes were drawn to the flame.

The orange flame with the blue base gave off little heat and was insignificant compared to the night that surrounded it. And yet, I knew it had the potential to be so much more. I knew, under the right circumstances, it had the potential to grow into a large, bloodthirsty beast. And if that beast was fed enough, it had the potential to bring hell on earth. To destroy anything it touched. To kill anyone in the most horrific and cruel way possible.

My chest suddenly constricted around my heart and my limbs felt cold. My thumb slipped numbly off the button of the lighter and the flickering flame disappeared. The lighter was cold and innocent in my hand. I took in a deep, shuddering breath and let it out in a torrent. I deflated, my shoulders drooping and my head dropping my chin to my chest. I closed my eyes and welcomed the cool darkness it brought.

As you might have figured, I am afraid of fire. But yet...I'm not. I'm not afraid of getting burned. I don't have nightmares where I'm trapped in an unquenchable, towering inferno. But I've seen the terrible destruction fire can wreak and the way it can steal life like a thief of souls. I can hardly bear to think of it.

Some time ago while Noir and I were still doing the solo thing together but not long before we joined the Titans, we came across a burning apartment building. I damn near killed myself trying to get everyone out and Noir was right with me the whole way. Just as we were finishing up, a section of roof collapsed, separating the two of us. I screamed and yelled and did everything in my power to get to him, but it was no use. I don't know if I'd ever been so scared in my life.

Later, Noir turned up relatively unscathed a block of so away. Neither he nor I knew how he got there. I like to think it was a miracle. I like to think that God knew just as well as I did that, if Noir had died in that blaze...I'd go plum insane. Or maybe die right there on the spot. Noir is my best friend and probably forever will be. But even more than that...it wouldn't be the first time.

My hand clutched the silver cross pendant around my neck.

_**WHAM!**_

_**FWOOSH!**_

_Flames lunged as I kicked open the front door of the warehouse. I pulled my poncho up over my face to block the smoke and fire, but the garment did a lousy job. I took in a large gulp that was part air, part smoke and part stifling heat before plunging into the burning building. Once inside, I was blinded by the smoke. My sight was a blur of orange and black. It was hell on earth if I ever saw it._

_I stumbled to the left and felt around the wall until I reached the stairs. Coughing and hacking, I sprinted up them as fast as I could. Halfway up, a section of stairs crumbled under my boots. I just barely caught the edge and dangled with the fire all around. I swallowed and closed my eyes. Sweating and straining, I pulled myself up and away I went._

_I was yelling when I reached the floor I was looking for, trying to hold back my coughs._

"_Where are you? I'm here to help!"_

_No answer._

"_WHERE ARE YOU?"_

_Nothing but roaring flames and groaning timbers. With no other choice, I began my frantic search. I kicked open a door, looked around and went to the next one. The third door I kicked open had such a violent back draft that it sent me slamming into the opposite wall. I saw stars and slumped to the floor. I was sore and dizzy and choking and all I wanted to do was sleep._

_Sleep..._

_I would have died right there had I not somehow heard a gentle voice that will forever be with me._

"_The Lord is my Shepard I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in the path of righteousness for His name's sake..."_

_I blinked. Some of the haze in my brain disappeared. Though it was probably the hardest thing I'd ever done, I forced myself to my feet. I tripped and stumbled towards that voice._

"_Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil for you are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me..."_

_I fell to my knees, but I kept crawling across the burning floor. Towards that voice._

"_Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever..."_

_I finally reached the right door. I gathered what strength I could, stood up and half-battered/half-fell through the door. The fire was hottest here, without a doubt. Flames flickered and gnashed at me like teeth. Smoke attacked my lungs. Most of the ceiling had collapsed. And beyond it was the voice._

"_I'm here to save you!" I coughed out._

_I caught sight of the trapped girl through a small hole in the debris. She was on her knees with her hands clasped over her heart. Praying. She didn't even look at me or seem to care about the salvation I was offering._

_I didn't care. I tried to pull at the mass of burning timbers, but only succeeded in scalding myself. I kicked at it with my boots, but it wouldn't budge. The remainder of the ceiling creaked and shifted, threatening to crush us at any second. I ignored it and continued my useless struggle. I cried as I worked, because I already knew._

_The girl decided then to acknowledge my presence. She stood and looked at me calmly with the bluest eyes I'd ever seen. She was not afraid. Without a word, she reached through the narrow hole of the debris with a clenched fist. Dumbfounded, I reached out my own hand. A silver chain and cross fell into my palm._

_**CRASSSHHHHHHH!**_

_Her side of the ceiling fell and the hand went limp._

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

I shuddered, trying to shake the memories away even though I knew it was impossible. I undid the chain around my neck and held the silver cross pendant in my hand. My finger caressed the tiny engraving on its back.

_Amber Marills_


	51. Desperate Ado

I walk the beach.

The northern shore of the Bay.

I stare at my feet plodding in the sand, and I try to imagine the tracks they are leaving.

My hands are hanging behind me.

I am not depressed.

And yet I am not ecstatic.

I simply… …am…

There's a song in my head.

Cutting Crew… …Laura Branigan… …(?)

Whatever.

I'm not all that keen on having songs stuck in my head.

All they ever do is tempt me to try humming or singing.

And in my case… … …well… …

I walk the beach… …

The night has fallen.

There is a gust of wind over the waves.

The surf crashes. The sand shifts. The world changes and changes back again.

I tilt my head up.

Narrow black eyes to the cosmos.

Every night is a pinprick that blinds me.

A fire in its own individual right.

What is the past?

Some of us burn bridges because we want to.

Others because we have to.

Me?

I burn because I am.

I am because of that which has been burnt.

Burnt to ashes.

I am neither happy nor sad about it.

But I am… …lonely… …

Everytime I think about it.

I know better than to be here.

But I… ….

I exhale and tilt my head down.

I walk the beach.

"… …. …. …."

I hear something.

I hear something and my eyebrow rises.

I blink my black eyes and jolt them up and over.

There is another starlit pinprick before me. But this time it is on the beach. On the soil.

And the pinprick is singing. With guitar twang and gentlemanly drawl.

Rhythmic poetry.

About lost loves.

Manly martyrs.

Loners who must venture away from a holocaust and into a strange world.

Like 'smoke rings in the dark', he sings… ….

And I understand it about as much as he surely does.

Even if the two of us are understanding two completely different things.

I smile gently and wander over to where he sits with his guitar.

I crouch down without so much as making a sound.

I don't want to interrupt him.

Bard sits before the bonfire, gently strumming with his guitar.

The words vibrate and froth forth from his lips.

There is a dusty, ancient honesty draped all about him.

Like he is as young as a wildflower and yet as old as the North American continent itself.

I suppose what I find in him… …what I have always found in him.. ….

Is something so infinitely older and wiser than the confusing surface world that I've been dropped into.

I do not belong here… …but Bard reminds me that none of us truly do.

We are all remnants of an archaic flame. Desperados on the run from one inferno or another. Smoke rings in the dark, we evaporate into the obsidian soup with more or less grace. All we bandits have to lean on is the fumes of each other.

He knows this. He sings it. And I listen.

When he ends, he lets out a breath and leans back in the sand with a soft smile. He tilts his head over towards me ad casually speaks as if he had expected me to stumble upon him from millennia in advance:

"I reckon there's no harm in… … ..in a flame that knows when and where to stay put… …."

I brave a blinding stare into the flickering bonfire and nod with numb acceptance.

Bard half-hugs his guitar and stares blankly into the amber heat-dance. "… … …I have been many a thing in my young life, Noirry. Many a heap of good things. Many a load of bad. But in the end, I think I can get around the whole bunch and just say one thing… …ONE thing about my life…."

I tilt my head to the side. I listen and wait.

"I'm a nobody," he murmurs into the distant flame. "And it ain't so bad a thing when you think about it. Because a real nobody is free. Free to float with the wind… …free to fall like a rock… …and maybe even free like a fish who just…. …just hugs his fins to himself and lets himself drift down the river any way he feels like."

I inhale deeply. I glance towards the dark line of Ocean beyond the night. The thunderous roar announcing the deep black on black on black…

"Heh…'course, we're all just fish dropped into a pond… …if you think about it with all the whicker parts of your homemade noggin, right?"

I can't help but smirk. A thin effort at best, but instinctive.

"Only… …We must be in here for a reason… ….," the cowboy murmurs. He strums once. He strums twice. He pauses. He murmurs again. "We must have a second chance for a reason… …."

I am silent.

He is silent.

We are nobodies.

That night, we stay there.

Serenaded by the alien tunes of the pounding surf and Bard's guitar string fingers.

We watch the flame die out.

Mutually blind.

But happy… …blessed… …

Together, alone.


	52. Cold Trail 1

"You Titans sure are keeping us busy tonight." The police officer said as he put a key into the door that led to the interrogation room.

Static glanced at him.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. Robin was here a couple of hours ago talking to the exact same prisoners. I heard he didn't have much luck." The police officer sniffed and scratched the side of his nose. "And no offense to you and Stargirl there but-"

"Her name's Star_fire_." Static corrected him.

The policeman shrugged.

"Yeah. Right. Sorry. I'm not too good with names and all. Anyway, no offense to you two...But Robin got nothing. If he couldn't crack them, I'd wager no one can."

"Really now?" Static smirked. "And I thought gambling was illegal in this city..."

The police officer glared.

"No one likes a smart-ass."

"I disagree." Starfire finally spoke with a forced lilt to her voice. "An intelligent donkey would be quite the enjoyable novelty, much akin to your speaking canine, right?"

"..." Static blinked.

"..." The policeman blinked.

"...Heh." Static leaned forward and ran a hand through his spiky black locks. "Gotta love her."

"...Sure." The policeman opened the door for them and stepped back. "Wait here. Make yourselves at home. I'll go get the prisoners."

"Aye, aye." Static saluted.

The policeman looked at him funny.

"Um...ten-four?"

The policeman shrugged and walked away.

Static walked into the room behind Starfire.

"What's shove up his butt?"

Starfire was looking around the small, plain room. The only furniture was a sterile white table and rigid chairs.

"This place is so...uninviting."

Static tried to peer through the one-way mirror.

"Hehe. I think that's the idea, girl."

"...Ah." Starfire looked down at the table.

The stood there in silence until Fraust, Miist and Polaar were escorted in.

"Heheheh!" Miist snickered. "We pwn Robin so he sends his girlfriend and the guy they hired to keep Jesse Jackson and the ACLU off their backs? Give me a break!"

Static glared.

"Sit. Down."

"Heheh. Yas suh, mastah!"

Static brought up his fists, but Starfire was talking.

"Tell us about Flaar." It was much more a request than a command.

"I ain't saying nothing. I want my lawyer!" Miist stared at them, but then his face broke and he giggled. "Heheheh. I always wanted to say that."

"Please." Starfire implored them. "I sense horrible things have happened to him. And I fear it shall continue unless I do something..."

Miist leaned his chair back on two legs and put his feet on the table. He smirked.

"Tough titty said the kitty but the milk is dry."

Static frowned. He pulled the chair from behind and sent Miist falling to the floor.

"How dare YOU!"

Miist lunged at him, but he didn't have a chance. Policemen flooded into the room and restrained him. Even as he cursed, they pulled him towards the door. Silently, Polaar and Fraust stood and followed.

"Wait!" Starfire held her hands together. "Please...I must know!"

Fraust stopped and looked back.

"...Please..."

Fraust slowly turned and sat back down.

"You wish to know where Flaar is?"

"Yes." Starfire nodded quickly. "Very much so!"

Fraust looked at them. Her face was expressionless.

"You know of HIVE, right?"

"Of course." Static said. "Cyborg and the Titans trashed the placed after Brother Blood took it over. The group is history."

"For a while it was. Most of the students and those employed by HIVE left. Some created their own rogue groups. But it's not been reborn as Neo HIVE."

"That's who you work for?" Static guessed.

"I am a slave, not an employee. But yes. Flaar is the same."

"Where can we find him?" Starfire wanted to know.

"I know where a Neo HIVE facility is, but I can't tell you the way."

"Why not?"

"It's...complicated. But I can show you."

"...That's out of the question." Starfire said quietly.

Static looked at her.

"But-"

Fraust stood up.

"I'll give you time to think about it." She paused and looked at Starfire. "I can tell you really care about him." She turned and allowed herself to be escorted away.

"Why did you shoot it down so quick?" Static asked.

"Robin would never allow it."

"But this is important, girl! Haven't you ever bent the rules just a little?"

Starfire shook her head.

"If she escaped, Robin would be most angry."

"But we'd be there." Static said. "If we both kept an eye on her-"

"I am not prepared to take the risk. We will have to find another way."

"What other way is there?"

Starfire shook her head sadly.

"I do not know." She turned, floated across the floor and left the room.

Static watched her go and then plopped into a chair. He fidgeted with his fingerless gloves.

Then the light bulb flashed on. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a cellphone. He hit a button and put it to his ear.

"Yo, Ritchie! I got a favor to ask..."


	53. Cold Trail 2

A day passes by.

Strung in between threatening bolts from the Mad Mod thunderstorm.

Detectives Walker and Decker have called on multiple occasions to check up on our investigative progress.

Robin is nowhere to be seen—most likely out on the Town, giving his all to the effort.

Static has been in and out with very little time to explain himself.

Bard's off… … …to 'help a girl with an eyepatch get pretty', or something…

Raven is sitting with a book, trying to meditate.

Beast Boy and Cyborg are hurriedly scurrying around the Tower with Terra to fix her a pretty pair of glasses because—as it turns out—

"I can't see a frickin' thing!" Terra shudders.

"Awwww, don't fret it, baby-cakes!" Beast Boy winks as he flips through the phone book. "I'll have some optometrist names in a jiffy!"

"I mean it!" Terra sighs and slouches in a couch all by herself in the Main Room. "Not a single, frickin' thing… …"

"Woo!" Cyborg wipes his brow with a smirk. "You know Terra must be ticked off! She's using the word 'frickin'!"

"I am not!" Terra hisses.

"You are too! Turn back time and listen to yourself be a female puppy!"

"I… …You….It… … ….OHhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHhhhhh," Terra waves her fists then folds her arm in a pout.

"Hehehehe—Don't you worry," Beast Boy slides in next to her with a portable phone. "I've got this covered. We're gonna give you a prescription.. …Then a manicure!"

Terra blinks. "What do I need a manicure today for?"

"Beauty Pageant, girl! Besides…," Beast Boy blushes slightly. "With pretty nails, you'll have a legitimate excuse to not punch me in the face for running you around so much once you've got the visual acuity to make contact with my green nose."

"Watch it, Beast Boy," Cyborg pats his shoulder. "With a sentence that big, you're likely to collapse."

"IT'LL BE A MARTYRDOM… … …FOR A GOOD CAUSE!" Beast Boy theatrically bellows. "A TERRA-PRETTINESS-ULTIMATRON CAUSE!"

"Oh gosssssh," Terra covers her reddened face.

Raven glances over from her window. She monotonously flips a page and reads on in perfect emotionlessness.

Beast Boy grins to the girl next to him: "Hehehe…Going undercover was never to glittery, eh, Terra?"

"You are soooooooo dead after this."

"Yeah. Cuz you're drop-dead-gorgeous," Beast Boy winks amid dialing.

"Yuck," Cyborg trots out. "The mush level in this room has gone to Defcon 2."

"While you're out wretching, wanna grab me some corn chips?" Terra waves.

"What do I look like, a robot?"

"…. … …. … ….yes."

"Screw you, little Missy. And I mean that from my heart."

"Hehe….love you too, Cyborg…."

The Android Titan shakes his head and smirks at me as he passes by. "Puppy love could do with a bit of pooper scoopers these days, don'tcha think?"

I shrug. I smile helplessly and resume making a sandwich at the kitchen table.

"Ahhhh, Noir…," Cyborg ruffles my black head of hair in a way that would make Bard jealous… … …_(no, not THAT way_). "Never stop being so soft-spoken. It suits you."

And he walks off through the elevator doors.

I glance after him. I blink.

"… …. …."

_Is he really a teenager?_

_Or thirty-five? _

I shrug and return to my meat… .. …sandwich.

Then I hear a clearing of the throat.

I glance up. I do a double take.

Raven is standing on the other side of the kitchen counter. And she is relatively… … …close to me.

"I see that you haven't fallen behind at least one bit," she drones.

"…. … …. ….," I raise an eyebrow.

She murmurs on: "… …. …From the incident in my mindscape last night. You haven't show any tiredness or fatigue."

I mouth: 'Oh'. I smile nervously and hand-sign.

She stares blankly.

I realize—to my stupidity—that no matter how empathic a person can be, it doesn't guarantee that they have or have not taken sign language class.

So I slap myself in the forehead and simply smile.

Smile like an idiot—

"Is there something on your mind, Noir?"

I do a double-take.

_W-Wait.. … …What?_

She… …Raven… … …The Dark Sorceress Girl of the Apocalypse merely stares at me.

She reiterates: "Is there something on your mind?"

"…. …. ….," I bite my lip. I scratch my forehead. I exhale nervously… …and shake my head no.

"…. …. …very well," she balances a book under her arm and sips from a teacup in her other hand before swiftly adding: "Oh, and Robin has given an order that you go round up Bard and go meet with him at the Penitentiary."

I raise an eyebrow of curiosity.

She responds with a deliberately, whispery voice: "There is rumor… … …of another escape."

I make a nasty face.

_What, again? _

"Only this time… … ….it's one of our more recent playground friends."

She walks off.

I glance after her as she sashays her way down a stairwell.

I blink my black eyes.

_What was that about?_

_I thought it was Bard's job to be worried about me. _

I return to my sandwich, distracted by my inevitable pilgrimage at hand.

_Awwww dang it…. ….I forgot to put mayo on the sandwich before heating it up…._

_Yuckkkkky…. _

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Starfire sits in her room.

On her round bed.

Surrounded by photos of the young, criminal suspects encountered at Chang's frigate.

'Miist.'

'Fraust.'

'Acyd.'

'Polaar'

Starfire hugs her knees to her chest.

She bites her lip.

'Flaar'…. …. ….

She takes a deep breath and hugs her knees closer.

She closes her emerald eyes.

A beat.

She reopens them.

She glances down at a particular photo.

It is an image of Fraust. That same, sad face. The cold blue eyes. The self-detrimental ghost stare.

Starfire purses her lips…… ….staring almost in a solemn sense of study… …

The frozen maiden stares back. Sad. Motionless and emotionless.

Starfire's fists tighten… … ..relax… .. …

And then, the Tamaranian girl sighs.

She swivels about. She looks towards her yellow, Titan's communicator. She reaches a hand towards it—

**_Beep! Beep! Beep!_** The communicator chimes.

"Eeek!" Starfire gasps. A beat. She sighs, deflates a bit, then reaches for the communicator with a swift palm. "**What**?" she barks in a sharp voice almost unbecoming of her.

_"Snkkkt—Star? Hey! Star!" _

The girl's emerald eyes blink. "… .. …V-Virgil?"

_"You got a moment—Hell. Heh heh heh.. ….you got a **week**, girl?"_

Starfire makes a face. She speaks into the communicator: "Erm, indeed. Most certainly, I might suppose…."

_"Snkkt—GOOD. Meet me out east in the wilderness. Just beyond the mountain forests. I'm sending you the GPS coordinates right now."_

"But… … …B-B-But what for, Virgil? What is this that is so important—"

_"A ticket to Flaar, Star." _

"… … …. …."

_"A ticket to Flaar." _

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

_"Snkkkt—Hold your horses, Robin. Noir and I are moseying on over there PDQ, okay? So you can rest up on the phone-call-per-minute thang, ya get me?" _

"Bard… ….," Robin grumbles as he paces back and forth in the High Security Wing of the Jump City Penitentiary. "When I say 'Get Here Now' I **do mean** 'get here---'"

**_SCHWISSH!_** Bard and I appear through an adjacent doorway with a few guards in escort.

Robin blinks under his eyemask and murmurs last-second into the communicator: "… ….'now'." He pockets it away with a reverse Star Trek sound.

So does Bard, with a little too much smugness for his own good. I wince slightly as I watch him swagger on into the High Security Wing and stand next to the Boy Wonder' side. "So, whatcha been up to these last two days?"

"Busy," Robin merely mutters. He is disgruntled. He is pissed. He is brooding. He is our leader. "Just… ….Busy."

"And stressed?"

"None of your business…."

"Heh…I reckon you **have** been stressed," Bard salutes with his hat, then points at Robin's chin. "It's bee forty-eight hours and you ALMOST have stubble."

"…. … …."

"AHEM…. …," Bard smiles nervously. A little red-faced. "S-So, what's the big whooping surprise here, Robbie-boy?"

I slap my hand over my face and exhale…

Under guarded escort, Robin marches forward past the rows upon rows of prison cell entrances and rambles: "I knew something like this was going to happen. Red X was kidnapped by Chang for a **reason**. Now we've had this security breach and who knows WHAT HELL may be unleashed on this wretched investigation… …!"

"WHEW-WEE!" Bard scratches his brow under his hat. "You're _STILL_ hooked on this thang, man? I think we've moved a little BEYOND Red X and into Mad-Mod-Land. You know, I battled a Robo-Limey all afternoon yesterday."

Robin pauses before a taped-off area and turns around just to stare up at Bard.

I sweatdrop. I look at Bard.

Bard maintains his smirk. "… …. ….I tossed a water fountain into his face."

"I'm sure you did."

"All of this bores you?

"No. It pisses me off."

"You already look pissed."

"You think?" Robin turns and brushes past me, gesturing: "Noir, kick your best friend in the shins for me."

"Heh heh heh," Bard plants his hands on his hips and shakes his head. "Silly Robin, little Noirry would never—" WHAP! "—OW! DANG IT TO DEADWOOD!" Bard hops on one foot and frowns at me. "Teacher's pet… …did he give you the Asian bird flu or what?"

I shrug—

"SHH. Both of you… …come inside…" Robin proceeds into the smashed door entrance to a high security prison cell. Bard and I saunter in after him. We find ourselves in a claustrophobic, smooth-white interior with a bed, toilet, and table…. …but no prisoner.

Unless… …

_Zzzzzt—Ztttt!_ A flickering, translucent image of Fraust lies down on the cot. It is obviously shorting out. A hologram of drastically cheap proportion.

"This some sort of way of Dr. Light broadcasting his blonde fetishes across the airwaves?" Bard shrugs.

"An hour ago, this projection was as real-life as a wax museum piece," Robin murmurs. He turns and points a green, gloved finger at a camera above and behind us. "This security camera has been remotely adjusted to reflect the intake of light back out in a specific frequency using electronic cells inside the lens, made possible by a digital rewrite of the shutter mechanism."

"…. …. ….uh huh," Bard nods. "… …so what's making the projection?"

Robin groans.

"What?"

"It's a hack-job… …a HACKER INFILTRATION of the SECURITY SYSTEM."

"Okay! OKAY! So someone decided to go all Wargames on this cell," Bard shrugged and glanced all over the abode. "And I'm guessing in the meantime, Miss Polar Bear—"

"—made her escape, right," Robin nods. He folds his arms. He sighs: "And now the mystery takes a new turn. For of all the nasties we captured on that Frigate, this girl was the last one I'd expect to jump the legal ship."

I stare closely at the broken parts of the prison cell's door frames.

There are singe marks all over the place.

I squint my sharp, black eyes.

_Electrical burns… .. …? _

"You think she exited for one reason and one reason alone… … ..to hurt herself?" Bard asked.

"I guarantee you this," Robin grumbles. "Somebody… …is definitely… …_definitely_ getting hurt by this."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Virgil?"

Starfire flies.

"Dearest Virgil?"

Starfire floats.

"Where art thou, Virgil?"

Starfire hovers down through the tree tops of the mountainous wilderness.

She looks around, wringing her feminine wrists: "Virgil, did we not verbally exchange the mutual desire to acquiesce upon this vegetative location---?"

_"Pssst! Star! Down here!" _

Starfire blinks. She glances down.

Static—in full uniform—smiles broadly and waves at her.

Starfire floats down and stands on the soil beside him. "Virgil, what is—URP!"

He has his hand over her mouth.

_"Shhhhhhhhh!"_ He hisses, smiles, and lets go. "It's **'Static'**, okay?"

"But…. …But…..," Starfire blinks. Then frowns. "I am confused."

"Not for long you're not," Static winks. "I've got us a silver bullet for this Flaar investigation."

Starfire gasps. "You did?"

"Mmmhmmm."

"But…H-How did you---"

"Not me," Static bows. "Gear did it."

"Wh-Who?"

"Good friend of mine. Handy at computers," Static winks. "Now… …about our silver bullet… …" He turns and gestures.

Starfire cranes her neck. He emerald eyes widen all the more… …

… …as Fraust steps into view. She is an ivory statue of mist and ice all over. She leans against a tree, covering it in flakes of snow.

"Hello… …," she breathes. A slight trembling… ..yet a gentle inquisition: "Are we now to make this trip to Neo H.I.V.E?"


	54. Cold Trail 3

When we entered his office, Detective Walker had a phone glued to his ear. He help up his hand for us to be silent. Since that was the case, I killed the time by looking around his office.

'Office' was too kind a word, in this cowboy's humble opinion. The room looked more like a broom closet. An old desk with dents and scratches and cigarette burns took up most of the room. The black phone Walker used looked like one that Hank might have used back in the 1950s. On the wall behind him was a picture of a young woman with short, shoulder-length red hair and bright green eyes.

Pretty cute, actually.

"You know what, Holly?" Walker, red-faced, all but screamed into the receiver. "I just don't give a flying damn! There's not way in hell I'm paying that much money for a dress you're gonna where once! We are poor! P double O f'n R!"

He listened.

"Let me tell you what's gonna happen if I buy this dress for ya: I'm gonna have to use up all our savings and I won't be able to send you to college. So you'll go to some beauty school but you'll stop by an IHOPs one night, meet some greasy-haired guy there and fall madly in love. So you'll drop out of beauty school and marry the ass clown. Then, before you know it, you're gonna be living in a trailer park somewhere in Alabama and pop out three cross-eyed, buck-toothed kids that are liable to marry each other. Now: Do you _really_ want the dress?"

In less than a second-

"Damn it! Fine! THROW AWAY YOUR FUTURE! I DON' FRICKIN' CARE!"

**CLANK!**

He slammed down the phone.

Robin peered at the grizzled detective.

"Something wrong?"

"Sure is, Bird Boy. It's called being a father." He leaned back, sighed and lit a cigarette.

I fidgeted. Noir noticed and smirked at me.

"I think this building has a no smoking policy." Robin commented.

"Yeah, well, this is _my_ office and it don't have that policy. You can tell the commissioner to kiss my ass."

"I'll be sure to pass that along, detective."

Walker grunted sourly and exhaled smoke out of his nose and down his mustache.

"So...I'm guessin' you're here about the ice chick."

"Fraust." Robin nodded. "I assume you know of how she escaped? The hologram?"

Walker nodded.

"Hardcore computer shit there, kiddos."

"Not really." Robin disagreed. "It wasn't professional. It looked like a hack job."

"I'd say making a frickin' hologram in a high security cell is pretty professional."

Robin allowed himself the smallest of smiles.

"You're never had Mad Mod as a school teacher."

"Huh...sounds kinky."

I couldn't help it: I laughed. I regained control of myself when Robin glared at me.

Noir snickered silently at me.

"So..." I finally piped up. "How do we track the girl down to bring her back?"

"Pretty simple, really." Walker said. "The people here aren't _total_ dumbasses. All the metahumans we get our fitted with a steel bracelet that has a tracking beacon in it. All you gotta do is track down the frequency."

Robin popped open his communicator.

"What's the frequency?"

"Two seven zero point nine six."

I saluted.

"Thanks, colonel."

Walker squinted at me.

"It's D_etective._"

I shrugged.

Noir's fingers cut through the air.

"What did he say?" Robin asked me.

"He asked if you wanted him to go get the other Titans."

Robin shook his head.

"We need them to stay here and guard the city. The three of us should be able to handle it." He paused. "Consider this an opportunity to prove yourselves as Titans."

Noir and I looked at each other, rubbing the backs of our necks.

TTTTTTTTTT

**VR-VROOM!**

**FWOOSH!**

A red motorcycle, a chrome Harley and a blur of black smoke rocketed down and along the road. We were quite a ways from the city and forest surrounded the small byway. I felt much more at home. Robin looked over at me and jerked his thumb over to the side. We slowed down and turned off onto a tiny dirt road. Robin and I coasted our bikes to a stop and Noir skidded in beside us.

I looked over at him.

"I still can't believe you kicked me."

_'Get over it.'_

Meanwhile, Robin had dismounted and was looking around. He periodically looked down at his blinking Titan communicator.

"What's the deal?"

Robin closed the communicator and put it back in his belt.

"The frequency is here."

I looked around and saw nothing.

"I kinda figured that would mean Fraust would be here, too."

"...or simply the beacon." Robin knelt down, wiped away some dirt and picked up the aforesaid item.

"Well...that was a smart move on her part."

"Maybe not." Robin tossed the contraption at me. "Look at it. What do you see?"

"Um...?"

"The clasping mechanism is overloaded."

"...I was just about to say that."

"But how would she do it?" Robin ignored me. "She's an ice elemental so..." He thought. "Are we sure Polaar is still in custody."

Noir signed.

"Yup." I shorthanded it.

Robin's brow creased again while I cringed. If he thought anymore, he was going to give _me_ a headache.

"It doesn't really matter how she got it off, right? Now we just gotta track her down."

"How? The frequency is useless."

I winked at him.

"I know the forest like the plot of every Clint Eastwood film." I stopped. "It kinda helps they're all basically the same but...anyway. I'm the finest deer hunter south of the Mason-Dixon line. I can track her."

Noir signed.

I groaned.

"No, as a matter of fact, I _didn't_ kill Bambi's mother!"


	55. Cold Trail 4

"Th-There is an underground f-facility," Fraust murmurs as she leads Starfire and Static northward through the forest. She clamors her trembling way around trees, under branches, and over exposed splotches of rock. "A few m-miles north, to be exact. It is our b-branch for missions and activities th-this far into the continent. Neo H.I.V.E. likes to keep its organization sp-spread around…. … ….they g-get to control people th-that way.. …."

Static squints his goggled eyes. "And just how did a poor girl like you get caught up in a mess like H.I.V.E.?"

Fraust glares slightly over her shoulder. Mist wafts forth from her lips: "H-Has it ever d-dawned upon you that I'm a 'p-poor girl' after having been caught up in H.I.V.E.?"

Static bites his lip. "Erm……. ….hmmm…. …."

"J-Just follow me… …," she sighs and proceeds without a stagger. "And I p-promise you that you w-won't be misled.. …. …Besides, it is n-not like I could survive your w-wrath if I were t-to attempt running away.. …."

"Who said anything about our having any 'wrath', girl?"

"Regardless.. … …d-decimating me would be m-most deserving.. …," Fraust climbs on ahead.

Static whistles. "Yeesh! That girl needs seriously counseling… .. ….or a tanning booth." He smirks aside at Starfire.

"… … … …," the Tamaranian girl floats on. Silent. Brooding.

Static raises an eyebrow. "Wow, don't you seem excited for this trip."

"I must state, Virgil, that I am extremely regretful of agreeing to this mission now."

"Pssst---It's **static**. And why look so down? I thought you wanted to find out more about this Flaar fella!"

"Mmmmm-But I was certainly not warranting that we betray the Titans!"

"Who's betraying who, Star? We're not helping Fraust escape! We're just.. … ..j-just borrowing her for a tour guide!"

"But it does not feel right to do such extraordinary things behind the Titans backs," Starfire sighs and hugs herself while floating forward. "Robin will be most disapproving….."

"Hey… … …Robin's the dude who—for all intents and purposes—isn't seeming to give a rat's fanny about how important it is to find this 'Flaar'!"

"…. … …."

Static sighs, then smiles gently as he leans in to her: "Look… …," he utters in a low, soft voice. "Just say the word, Starfire. And I'll bring this trip to a hault. We'll take Fraust back to the penitentiary. Hell, she may be safest from hurting herself there. Damn, this girl gives me the heebie-jeebies.. …."

"Do not mistake my wording, Virgil. I am most grateful for your assistance, but… …"

"Hmm?"

"… … …it just disturbs me," Starfire whispers.

"What does?"

"That… … …that to do that which is most dear to me, I would have to do it in such a manner that is so deceptive to my team leader."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better. If worse comes to worst, I'll take the flack for this whole shebang," Static gestures with a smile. "Robin can dish it all out on me. Heh, I am the rookie after all."

"I would almost hope he would pay **me** such horrid attention.. …."

"Okay, girl, now THAT has to stop," Static points.

Starfire blinks. "I-I am afraid I do not understand—"

"Look, far be it from me, the token-electrical-brother-dude, to speak out and wave red flags around like STDs in Courtney Love's underwear. But this whole Robin-obsession thing has got to stop. And I don't say that as a Titan or an egotistical nerd, but—hopefully—as a friend."

Starfire frowns. "It is most certainly not an obsess—"

"Then why is your only bigass concern right now simply about how good or bad of an impression you're going to be making on him for traveling here?"

"…. …. ….it should be about poor Flaar…," Starfire murmurs. "This is my mission.. ….My objective…."

"Darn straight, Starfire," Static nods with a smile. He then gently touches her shoulder. "Look, it's not my place or anyone's place to dictate to you. I just hate to see you beat yourself up so much over some dude who—though I'm sure he's nice and kind to you at times—seems to be way too preoccupied with the team at the moment. Just….I dunno—let Robin ride this crap out of his system by his own schedule and accept things as they are! Otherwise, you might become a sickening, frozen sourpuss and result to wanting to cut and berate yourself all the time like—" he motions with his head "—Miss Sunshine there!"

Starfire manages a wince. "It would be… .. …m-most disheartening to succumb to her psychological predicament."

"Yeah… …."

"… … ….I m-must think it over, Virgil…."

"I understand, Starfire," he nods. "In the meantime… ..heheh… …" He smiles. "We seem to be making good headway!"

"Hehe….truly… …," Starfire smiles.

"Excuse me while I go catch up with her and make sure she's not leaving icicle marks in the grass or something—"

"Virgil?"

"Uhhh---Huh?"

She gently touches his arm, smiles at him, and nods her head. "Thank you. Thank you most kindly."

"… .. ….for what?"

"For everything," she coos.

"…. .. ….," Static momentarily blushes. He clears his throat and wanders forward. "Ehem… …wh-what are friends for? Eh heh heh heh.. …."

Starfire hovers to the back of the line. She gazes after him. A beat. She reaches a hand to her communicator and holds its pulsing form in her palm.

"Yes.. ….," she sighs. "… .. …'friends'… .. …"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Robin holds his communicator in his gloved palm. It is flipped open and a tiny map is blipping an orange light north of their position. He stares at it in a half-kneeling position at a tree stump. Eyebrow raised. Silent.

I glance at it over his shoulder as he's waiting… … ….

All the while, Bard paces back and forth behind us and rambles:

"Okay, so if my swaggering instincts tell me right—We head south and follow the creek. Any good villainess makes her hideout downstream. I mean--read it in the papers--Intergang owned at least three hideouts inside giant, hydroelectric dams. Right, Noirry?"

I shrug.

"Anywho. It's best that we stay together. Cuz along the road south, there are certain to be tons of ambushes and booby traps and--"

Clip! Robin snaps his communicator shut and stands up. "We're headed North."

Bard does a double-take. He looks at him. "What?"

"Call it a hunch… …," Robin pockets his communicator away and cracks his joints. "But we're heading North."

"What the Hell do you mean by a 'hunch'.. .. …'**sir'**?"

Robin turns. He stares at Bard and I, but he doesn't glare as he says: "… …an executive….'hunch'." He turns and marches north. "Keep up, Bard. Noir. If I'm going to have two team members working alongside me this day, I want them to be **useful**."

Bard frowns. His fists clench as he mutters: "If karma doesn't clip his wings, I just may have to wrangle my way into a Hindu temple and summon Shiva on his behind." A beat. He smirks at me. "Heh, I'm rather proud of that one myself."

I smile helplessly.

Bard squints at me and motions Robin's way. "You have any clue what he's up to?"

I lie. I shake my head 'no'.

"Darned if I ain't confused as all get out. But hey…," Bard shrugs and trudges along through the woods. "If he doesn't want none of my outdoors skills, so be it! His funeral! Heh….bird boy in a shoebox… …floatin' down a river. Now why's that a plum-silly thought to enter my head so?"

He walks along.

I shuffle along after him.

I don't let on about what I saw when I glanced over Robin's shoulder.

The Boy Wonder's found some sort of beacon heading due north of us. And that's what we're going after.

I could just as easily have told Bard that. But—no offense to my buddy—I'm skipping that detail. I figure it's the 'Titan' thing to do, and I'm seriously learning that—if Robin doesn't mention the specific reason for doing something, then neither should I.

Sometimes it helps to keep one's mouth doubly 'silent'.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"But surely, you must have some family!" Starfire exclaims, hovering closer to the frozen girl. "A guardian, perhaps? Siblings? Godparents?"

"It d-doesn't matter… …," Fraust exhales cold air and stumbles forward. "In the end, we are all alone in th-this heartless world.. …"

Starfire looks sad: "But surely you do not mean that! There is hope for everyone! Even you! Why… …Why y-you are helping us, and truly that must be a sign of good will and trust and—"

"P-Please… …S-Save it…," the girl shudders. "I know p-perfectly well th-that you are going to t-turn me back into prison once this search is over with, so pl-please do not t-try to coddle me for no r-reason.. …" Fraust moves along.

Starfire's jaw drops. She floats after her—

"Let her be, Star," Static murmurs as he catches up. "Some people can't be helped."

"But I do so sympathize with her… …," Starfire bites her lip. "I am suddenly sensing the distraught situation she has been in that is so reminiscent of Flaar. Surely she is not a villain!"

"Villains, Starfire, are not so much evil because they're malicious," Static points. ".. …but because they're selfishly desperate."

"… … …that is surely the grayest of lines."

"But it's a real one," Static shrugs. "Half of the 'Bang Babies' I fight back in Dakota City act the way they do because they're constantly in a state of confusion and fright.. ….and—as fate would have it—they have all the wrong superpowers in all the wrong places."

"But it is so terribly wrong," she sighs. "I only wish to help her."

"I know that. And I would love to help both the wicked and the scared people I fight against all the same," Static says. "But sometimes… …Sometimes, Star, the damage is done."

Starfire stares down into the Earth. "I wonder if the damage is done for Flaar… …."

Silence.

Static takes a breath, bears a hopeful smile, and nudges her. "Eh…. ..Of course he will be okay, Star. You've got some sort of power that touched him, right? If it worked to pierce his defenses then.. …. …who knows what wonders it could do **now**?"

"… … …," she smiles ever so slightly. "I would endeavor to emulate your enthusiasm, Static."

"Hey! I'm a battery! It's what I do. Heh heh…"

"Hehehe—"

"Here… ….," Fraust murmurs.

Static and Starfire stop in their tracks.

"What?"

Fraust has stopped before a patch of solid green Earth. "The Bridge is here."

"… … ….?"

"….. …the Bridge?" Starfire leans forward.

Fraust nods. She raises her foot and slams it down over the grass. **WHAP!**

**Cl-CLANK! WHURRRRRRRRRRR!**

Static and Starfire jump back at the ready. Before them, a giant 'mouth' opens up in the Earth besides Fraust. Surely enough, a huge, mechanical cave entrance is formed. A flight of stone-gray stairs lead down into blackness. Everything is foreboding and curious at the same time.

"To complete the journey b-before us… …," Fraust murmurs. "W-We must continue the r-rest of the length to the h-headquarters of Neo H.I.V.E. underground."

Starfire and Static are silent. Nervous.

Fraust carefully gauges them. She trembles and utters: "A-Are you willing?"

Starfire looks to Static.

Static sees the hopefulness in her eyes. He gulps away his own willies and shrugs with a devil-may-care grin. "What the Hell?" He marches forward. "Let's go to Hell!"


	56. Cold Trail 5

I like the forest. The city is a claustrophobic thing. I feel out of place there. I feel like a lost, purposeless soul rooted in place while everyone else is moving so fast I can't follow, completing the errands I can't comprehend that makes up the length of their lives. I used to be one of them, but things change. Or was I always destined to be on the outside looking in?

The forest is different. I still feel alone...yet I'm supposed to, for I am. The only ties the trees have are to the earth. They have no family or friends of feelings. I can understand that. I like being surrounded by kindred spirits; by beings that don't search for love or happiness, but are content to simply exist.

I stood on a tall, brush-covered drop off behind an old oak tree. I peered around it and down the slope. There stood three figures. The one in the lead was easily recognizable in his cape: Robin. The leader of the Teen Titans. A dangerous opponent.

The young one with black eyes didn't interest me. He was still a child. Perhaps he would be a threat later.

...And then there was him. The cowboy. He should be nothing to worry over. Along with his dark friend, he was new to the Titans. A rookie still finding his own. He shouldn't interest me...but he did. I felt the spark of recognition when, while transporting Chang, Red X and Flaar, I saw him on the frigate. But even more important...He seemed to recognize _me_. I have tried to remember since.

Now, looking at his face, I tried again. I closed my eyes and pictured him. The tall, athletic frame. The cowboy garb. The southern swagger. The dark blue eyes that periodically peered over his shades. The half-smile/half-smirk his face showed so frequently The-

_FLASH!_

"_No! Wait! Come back! I need your help! **I need you, Zillah!**"_

_FLASH!_

My eyes widened.

I whispered in disbelief.

"...Jonny?"

Almost as if he heard me, the cowboy turned to look.

**ZHHHHT!**

TTTTTTTTTT

I was just about to say something to Robin when a weird feeling hit me. Kind of like when someone's watching you sleep. I slowly turned and swept my eyes over the tree line, but there was no one there. I continued to look as Robin and Noir started north.

Noir stopped and turned back to me, signing.

"No, I'm coming. It's just..."

Noir raised his eyebrow at me.

"Ahem. N-nothing. Let's mosey...I reckon."

ZZZZZZZZZZ

I was no longer surrounded by trees, but by the dark, sterile air of indoors. I was in the dank, cell-like room that served as my current lodging. Gasping, I leaned forward on the dresser.

My powers have always exhausted me. The further the distance, the more tired I am afterwards. After I caught my breath, I looked up and caught a glance at myself in the mirror. A stranger looked back at me with light blue eyes that looked out of place set in a face with exotically dark skin.

I looked away quickly. I hate looking into mirrors. I know I'm not ugly...but I hate looking into my own eyes. It's like they don't belong to me. I look and I can't tell what thoughts lie behind them.

I straightened and took a deep breath. Enough of this. I stepped out of the room and walked down a long, dank hallway. The sounds of screams led me to the lab and Booker in a small side room with a control panel. I didn't waste a breath.

"There are people coming this way?"

"Hmm," Booker said, barely looking away. "Really now?"

I watched as he did nothing.

"Aren't you going to-"

"There's no need. No one's ever gonna find this place."

"But-"

Booker swiveled and looked at me.

"Isn't it time for your treatment, child?"

I glared at him.

"_I_ say when it's time for my treatment."

"Hm...of course. Just don't fall to pieces on us."

I turned and walked away from the fool. But he was right about one thing: I would need a treatment soon. I walked down the hallway into another room, bare except for the device that kept me whole. It was a long, coffin-like tube. I hit a few buttons on the control panel and the side slid away with a hiss. Shivering, I stepped into the machine and lay down.

I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to see the top closing over me.

**SLAM!**

TTTTTTTTTT

The darkness of the cave was pushed back only by the star bolt Starfire held high over her head. She and Static followed Fraust through the twisting, rocky corridors. For the longest time...years, maybe...there was no sounds except for their breathing and the occasional spoken word. But then another sound reached them. Faint at first, it grew stronger and stronger, a soothing melody in the darkness.

"What is that?" Starfire asked.

"You wi-will see. Come." Fraust waved her hand forward.

Not long later, they came to a chamber that made Starfire gasp. There was an underground fountain that fed down into a shimmering pool. Also, the rock wall was covered with a vein of quartz that, apparently, reached up to the surface because it reflected sunlight into the cave.

"Glorious..." Starfire whispered.

"We rest h-here." Fraust decided.

"Good place for it." Static dropped his backpack, stooped over the fountain and scooped up water to his mouth.

"Agreed." Starfire allowed her star bolt to dissipate, walked some distance away from the fountain and sat down.

Fraust watched intently as Static went to join her. They talked, but Fraust didn't care to listen. She watch their eyes; their awareness. Satisfied she was forgotten, she quickly reached into Static's bag, grabbed his communicator and pocked it up her sleeve.

"I-I'll be back."

She turned and disappeared down a dark passage.


	57. Hornet's Nest 1

Zillah lies inside the slender chamber. Her midnight features shrouded by the fogged translucency of the glass'd enclosure. There is a shuffling of footsteps as a rotund figure waddles up to the quietly hissing contraption. Professor Chang smirks greasily and raises a spongy hand. He strokes his fingers across the smooth surface… …

"… ….snkkheheheheheheheheheh… . …"

He turns around with a swivel. He strolls down the long, dark corridor of the underground facility.

Alone with his echoes and hyperventilating chuckles.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Booker is an old man. But he doesn't look it. Except for when he hunches over or tries to pick up heavy objects, he is seemingly as young and fit as a well-tuned fiddle. There is a betraying streak or two of gray amidst his dark head of hair, but nothing too betraying. He fills in the blanks with glares and growls and other bits and pieces of a notoriously ruthless façade.

Presently, he sits at a bench full of instruments before a stretched window of clean, transparent glass. Smoke billows up and down from the other side with every pull of a switch or turn of a nob. A muffled, screaming voice of a young man can be heard warbling forth from the chamber beyond. And at the highest pitch of each scream, Booker pauses in his instrumentations to jot down a note or two on a computer program.

His back is facing Professor Chang as the villain in question walks into the facility laboratory with a hissing of his tubes and lungs. Then a slimy-lipped:

"Enjoying your new prize, I see? Eheheheheheh," Chang snickers.

"Do not bother me," Booker mutters. "I am….**busy**."

"I can see that.. …," Chang waddles up to the window and glances through. "Any busier, and the subject might die."

"I never.. ….NEVER kill my subjects," Booker murmurs.

Chang's lips curve. "Is that so?"

"… … … ….not the subjects _still useful to me_."

"Heheheheh.. … ….Well, this one sample had better be alive at the end of your….," Chang salutes like a Medieval Arab merchant. "'Services'."

"The child is the one performing the service, not I," Booker lisps as he glares beyond the glass at his subject. He pulls a switch. Yet again, a scream emanates its muffled chant through the corridor. "Always, it is the children who perform. I am just here to make sure—for your boss as well as mine—that the children who perform the best stay in school. I may not be able to make H.I.V.E. a legion of soldiers. But a mercenary of **super**-soldiers should be sufficient in handling the world."

"I would certainly hope that you pump out much better samples than the ones left to—let's say—_rust_ at the Soggy-Bottom. Eheheh…"

Booker pauses in mid-switch. He glares aside at Chang, not so much as moving his body. "If any of the youngsters were captured by the Titans, then I had intended them to."

"Heheheh… …Oh? Is that **so**?"

"A true student's testing goes far beyond the boundaries of the laboratory. Even you would know that," Booker resumes his scream-inducing instrumentations. Light from beyond the window flickers across his face. "After all, that is how my exceptional Flaar made it past the trials."

"Oh, so you put so much faith in your alien boy's strength?"

"Why should I not?"

"Could it simply be fate?"

"Fate is what leads us astray," Booker murmurs. "Our boss has told us from time and time again that fate is the one question with no answer. At least.. … …no answer—until we are done cracking the Xenothium key to the Spectrum."

Chang snorts. He folds his arms and leans forward. "Do you really think that boy inside the suit has the answers this 'Neo H.I.V.E.' is looking for?"

"That depends…… …," Booker lisps. "Not just on my expertise.. …" He slowly turns a nob and glares forward. ".. … …but if we both actually manage to get that blasted suit of mystery _open_.. …. …"

The two evil men glare forward.

Beyond the glass.. …

Strapped to electrified wires on the wall.. …

The black figure of Red X twitches and convulses.. ….

Hanging… …Hyperventilating.. … ..Struggling for breath.

And with every pulse of energy shot through him by the laboratory instruments.. …

The rogue tilts his pale mask back and howls with a staticy voice.

On and on into the glaring flood lights.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"So.. ….Here're my two cents," Bard gestures as the three of us trudge uphill through the forest. "Let's head back to our bikes and continue on the road so we can circle around the escape party. Then we just might be able to drop the bomb on them, so to figuratively speak.. …"

"For once.. …I'm starting to hear you out, cowboy," Robin mutters and hops a boulder.

Bard leans against a bent tree trunk and glances suspiciously. "You still haven't told us just how in the blue fudge you're figurin' out where Fraust and her friends are."

"And I don't need to."

"Heh…that so?"

"Team leader's prerogative."

"You cling to your prerogative like rubber bands to Willie Nelson's hair."

"I swear… …you signed in on the 'Titans' roster thinking it was the Blue Collar Comedy Tour." Robin glances back with an eyebrow raised over his mask. "Are you really with us today, Bard?"

"Nah, I'm just Peter Pan's shadow after too many Orange Soda. I slew Michael Jackson and hopped the fence at Neverland to join you on a country hike."

"… … …." Robin blinks.

Bard smirks and gestures: "Heeeeere's your sign."

Robin shakes his head with a slight smirk. He marches on ahead. "Noir! I'm glad at least **you're** one with the decent common sense to follow orders."

"…. … … …."

"… … …Noir?"

I snap out of it. I stop staring at the forested hillsides and glance over at our leader ahead of us. I cock my head aside at attention.

"Thought we lost you there, kid."

I take a deep breath.

_Please… …_

_I know you're leader, but.. …._

_Stop calling me kid. _

"Awwww—Don't pay him attention none, Robin. He's just fascinated with squirrels," Bard winks at me. "Ain't that right, kid?"

I stick my tongue out.

_You too. _

"Hehehe—Hey! Wait up! I thought I was the expert ranger here!"

"In your dreams, Roy Rogers. I was navigating my way through the urban forests of Gotham before you could even swing a lasso."

"Heh, Hella bunch of pine cones and mosquitoes they had up there in the big city, huh, bird boy?"

"You know what I mean—"

"Heeeeere's your si—"

"Okay, QUIT IT!"

I linger behind the two Titans. I slow my steps a bit. I glance to the sides. I stare into the branches. The shadows. The leaves and scattered sunlight.

"…. … … …"

I sigh, shake it off, and blur my steps to follow my two friends.

_I'm paranoid._

_I should think of happier things._

_Like Terra and the pageant._

_Or Cyborg's and Beast Boy's laughter._

_Or… …Fei…. …_

_I wonder if she would enjoy a walk in the country like this? _

I smile to myself and pass on.

Unaware… …

Unaware of a ripple of light above me.

In the shape of a human being.

Perched on a tree limb.

… ….

… … …..

A flicker of light.

And the figure blips in and out of the visual spectrum before leaping away.. …

Into nothingness, with the slightest swish of a silver cape.

Then….

….

….

….


	58. Hornet's Nest 2

Static sat with his back against the cave wall of quartz. Starfire sat beside him, hugging her knees to her chest.

"I wonder where she is going..."

"Fraust?" Static said. "I dunno. But she looks like the type that's not comfortable around people. She just needs some alone time, I bet."

"Perhaps." Starfire did not sound convinced. "I am afraid she may injure herself."

"We're right here, Star. What could she possibly do?"

Starfire nodded slowly.

"Still...Fraust carries an enormous amount of pain. I worry about her."

"What about Flaar?"

"I worry for him, too, of course. That...that is why we are here. I saw so much anguish and hatred in his eyes. It pains me to see a fellow Tamaranian distorted into such a person."

"Gosh, Star! You're worrying about everybody. Next thing ya know you'll be worrying about me."

"..."

"Star! C'mon! You can't shoulder everyone's problems."

"But...I wish to help them, Virgil."

Static's face grew soft.

"The best way you can help them...is by being your usual cheery self. There's nothing better than that."

Starfire looked at him.

"T-That would help them more, I mean! Hehehe!" He nervously rubbed his neck.

Starfire smiled.

Fraust rejoined them.

"Are we ready to c-continue?" She asked.

"Of course."

"Let's make it happen!"

TTTTTTTTTT

We headed back through the forest to the small dirt road where Robin and I had left our bikes. Noir was lucky. His best form of transportation...his legs...were always with him. Speaking of Noir-

"Hey, man. You all right?"

Noir looked at me. He nodded.

"Huh. Just saying. You look a little jumpy."

He just smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

I chuckled.

"All you city slickers are the same. Get you away from civilization for just a little while and you get all antsy." I slapped him on the shoulder. "This is nature, Noir! The earth at it's finest and most perfect level! Anything man's done or made can't touch it with a ten foot pole, ya know?"

Noir looked at me.

"Well...okay. Maybe Final Fantasy VII."

Noir signed.

"The Delorean? You kidding? Only folks who like Blondie like that car. Give me a Dodge Charger any day! Them Duke boys are at it again! Heheheh!"

Noir couldn't help it. He giggled breathily.

We followed Robin through the foliage.

TTTTTTTTTT

The T-Car hummed down the road towards the outskirts of the city.

"Dude...this is gonna be our greatest assignment of all time. Guarding beauty pageant contestants. Soooo gooodd."

"Hey!" Terra objected. "You're spoken for, green guy!"

"I know, I know!" Beast Boy buffed his fingernails over his chest. "But...ya know...if one of these girls tries to steal me...what can I do?"

Terra folded her arms across her chest.

"Hmph. If they'd just bring you back."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Cyborg cleared his throat from behind the wheel.

Terra and Beast Boy looked up at him from the backseat.

"Ahem. Neither one of ya have anything to worry about it. We are guarding the contestans, Beast Boy...from outside."

Beast Boy did a double take.

"Say what?"

"You heard me, dawg. If we went in there, we'd be blowing Terra's cover. We'll be camping out outside."

Beast Boy made a face.

"That sucks."

"It'll probably keep you out of trouble." Cyborg corrected him. "Think about...these girls have been locked in a house with nothing but other girls for quite a while now. If two guys were suddenly introduced...especially them being famous...it might...cause...probl...ems."

"..."

"..."

Beast Boy and Cyborg looked at each other.

"You heard Robin's orders!" Terra appeared between them like a strike of lightening. "YOU STAY OUTSIDE!"

"Awwwwww!"

"Awwwwww!"

Terra settled back into her seat.

"I am kinda nervous th-though..."

Beast Boy forgot about his hormones...for the moment.

"Huh? Why?"

"Well...all of these girls are gonna be really pretty and-"

"You're pretty, too, Terra."

Terra blushes. She pushed the hair out of her face.

"Well...maybe. But these girls have been training for this for a long time..."

"Chill out, Terra!" Cyborg threw over his shoulder. "You're thinking to much, girl. All ya gotta do is be yourself, smile a lot and...um...be yourself!"

"Yup." Beast Boy nodded. "You're gonna be great!"

"Heh...t-thanks, guys."

"Besides." Cyborg added. "She's cute as a brunette."

"Psssh!" Beast Boy hissed. "Speak for yourself, dude! I love Terra's hair!"

Cyborg shook his head.

"You and your blonde fetish."

Beast Boy rubbed the back of his neck.

"Heheheh..."

Not long later, Cyborg turned the T-Car into a long, winding driveway with immaculately trimmed bushes on both sides.

"We're here..."

Cyborg stopped the car in front of a large house with an antique design. A brick and wood sign read 'Cartwright's School of Etiquette'.

"Well...this is the place."

Beast Boy gave Terra a thumbs up.

"Go break a leg!"

Terra smiled, hugged him and stepped out of the car. She hesitantly climbed the steps and pushed open the front door. The contestants, over a dozen of them, stood in the lobby of the house. Their eyes turned to Terra standing in the doorway. Judging. Assessing.

Terra fidgeted under the scrutiny.

"Um...h-hi..?"

A girl stepped forward, different in attitude and appearance from all the rest. Her eyes was covered with a patch.

"I'll show you around." She offered.

Terra opened her mouth, but closed it again when she saw the girl's wink. She didn't resist as the girl led her away.

TTTTTTTTTT

"Noir!" I called behind me. "You're falling behind again. We can come back and sight-see later. The squirrels ain't going anywhere, ya know."

But then, something made me look around as well. A streak of random paranoia. But as a scanned the landscape with my eyes, I saw nothing. Just as before. Your mind plays tricks on you sometimes in the forest.

"C'mon, soldier! I know you don't want to disappointed General Robin!"

Noir looked over his shoulder one last time before falling in step beside me.


	59. Hornet's Nest 3

"Here… …," the eyepatch'd girl tosses Terra's bag onto one of two beds in a tiny room inside the center of Cartwright's School for Etiquette. "As long as you're gonna be sequestered and crap, you might as well be sequestered with me.. …"

"I…erm…Th-Thanks, I guess.. …," a 'brunette' Terra saunters into the room, fidgeting. She is quite exceptionally 'alone', Titan-speaking. "But this is all kinda sudden. Who are you? Why'd you hoist me out of the room so quickly? I just got here—"

"You saw how much they were staring at you, didn't you?" the cycloptic girl inquires.

The terrakinetic Titan bites her lip. "Erm.. …w-well.. … …"

"I knew no other way to give you the message than to just drag you out of there."

"Wh-What kind of message is that?"

The girl turns around. She is a gothic femme. Fashionably pale and reasonably badass. A foreigner and a compliment to that elegant setting all the same. She leans a hand on her hip and gives Terra a humored look. "That you shouldn't let bimbos give you the royal asshole treatment. Especially when their fake smiles and boobs are just setting them up for a fall. You and me, gal, we're the real ones…. … …In that we're the cutely freakish ones."

"… …. ….Y-Yeah… …"

"Only difference is," she gives a thumb's up. "I'm not a Titan."

Terra does a double-take. She blushes furiously.

The goth girl of the pageant merely smirks.

It takes a little bit of a while, but Terra is forced to smile as well. In confidence, she slowly slips off her brunette wig in front of the stranger and asks with a squinting of her curious, blue eyes. "Who are you… … …?"

"A bored chick with nothing to do but try on plastic wrap prom dresses and practice world peace speeches for shits and giggles," Lisa winks. "Let's just say, a certain cowboy sent me."

"Heh… …I thought I smelled cigarette smoke on you."

"HAH! Heheheh…"

"Hehehehehe!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

In the meantime…

I'm freaking out.

I can swear… …

Swear that there is something in the branches.

Like… …

Like… … ….

Like a scary thing hopping around in the branches.

Dang my smoke senses some times! I swear… …

I continue to linger behind the group of three as Robin leads us through an open clearing in the middle of the forest. Tall grass stretches ahead and flanks a rusted, hollowed-out car and an abandoned woodshed surrounded by lumber tools. In a rim around the clearing, there're solid tree trunks stretching in full-barked glory.

I've got a very, very icky feeling about this.. ….

"Robin, I'm not much one for repeatin' myself, but—"

"Bard," the team leader grumbles. "You're repeating yourself."

"… … …," Bard blinks. "Yeah, well, I'm just plum sick of you not telling us how exactly we know we're trackin' the right dudes or dudettes!"

"I thought when I let you two join the team, you two expressed your utmost confidence in me."

"Heh, well, I must have been tipsy or somethin'."

"Really now…"

"Hell yeah. That special time of the month. Ya know.. ….when every cowboy secretly bleeds from out of his heart?"

"Well, as far as I'm concerned.. ….," Robin whips out his communicator again—like he has been for the last few hours—and traces with his eyemask a certain blipping signal on the miniature screen. "… …we could waste all the time we have bickering to no ends, or we could follow my lead and make some progress."

"Ain't that a bit tyrannical?"

"Do you think I care?"

"HA! Pulling superiority on me, Boy Wonder? Guess I can't complain—Only you seem to have brought us into a dead-wide-open part of the forest with a random woodshed exposed to the daylight like Venus' teats…. …. …Now why do I suddenly find that a tad bit disturbin'?"

I take a shuddering breath.

Wooosh!

"!.!.!" I spin around, my black eyes dashing to the forest canopy overhead.

I squint.

I hold my breath…….

Did something gray just streak overhead?

"Noirry?"

There's definitely something here… …

Or **someone**…. ….

"Noir?"

"… … ….?" I turn and face my cowboy buddy.

He cranes his neck and looks at me funny. "You sure everything's all right?"

I hand-sign like mad at him. I pant nervously. Adrenaline running. Smoke trailing from my fingers—

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Bard blinks. "Seeing as there're no mirrors nearby.. ….you reckon someone may be trailing us?"

Robin tilts his head up. "I sense it too…. ….," he glances around the canopy. "Something's moving. Shifting in the wind. And it has a smell… …"

Bard sniffs… …Sniff… …. "… … …well I'll be darned. 'Burnt Toast' anyone?"

"Not exactly… …," Robin murmurs. As he slurs, he slowly snakes a free hand down toward his utility belt and pulls out a pair of discs. "… …but something's definitely frying the molecules in the air. Some sort of hot technology—"

**FWOOOOSH!** An ivory figure swings over my head.. .. …. ..and straight towards Robin. I gasp. I stick two fingers into the sides of my mouth and whistle shrilly.

Bard shouts and reaches back for his guitar: "We've got a birdy—"

"I see it!" Robin rolls down at the last second.

Swiiish! A streaking, translucent hand from the swinging figure reaches blindingly fast for the communicator in Robin's grasp.. ….but misses.

I blink my black eyes. At the last second, I see the figure perching on a faraway tree branch, flickering, and turning back into invisible chaos—

"Nnngh!" Robin rolls into a kneeling position and immediately, expertly tosses both discs straight at the tree.

**Swissssssssssssssh!** POW! The discs explode in a vapor of thick, gray steam. **HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!**

The three of us watch as the billowing steam rises up and envelopes the invisible marauder. Soon enough, a black silhouette appears atop the branch. Wheezing and coughing up a storm.

Bard squints from behind his shades.

Robin's brow furrows.

Zzz-Zzzzt! The figure flickers and eventually, helplessly materializes into a tall, statuesque blonde girl in a milk-white reflective jumpsuit fitted with an ivory-smoothe cape. She coughs, winces, and glares down at us through a light gray eyemask hugging the smoothe contours of her face. "Mmmmf… ….Bugger All," she grunts and then tilts her golden head towards the exposed heavens. "Now, lads!"

Bard blinks. "The Hell---?"

**SWOOOSH!** A metal ball of iron is tossed out from the foliage and lands in our midst. Half a second later, it tolls to a stop in the grass and explodes in a huge array of fiery sparks. **FLSSSSSSSSSSSSSH!**

"Nnnngh!" Robin winces from the hot, singeing flare and hobbles to the side. Bard seems about ready to summon the wind song to blow the fireworks away when off to his side—

**SLNKKKT! SL-SLNKKKT!** A blue blade suddenly slices and dices through the body of a tall tree trunk. Crkkkkkkk! The huge tree careens over and falls Bard's way.

"Awww damn it to Democrat Hell!" Bard dives to the side, guitar and all.

**CRUNNNNCH!**

The entire forest shakes and wobbles from the collapsing tree. The woodshed rattles and the pieces of lumber shake together.

I gasp and fight to keep from collapsing to my knees—

TH-THWISSSH! The conniving blonde from earlier is suddenly leaping in a translucent blur from the tree and hand-planting off my shoulders.

**WHUMP!**

Ackies!

I'm slammed to the forest floor. In the meantime, the girl vaults off of me twirls in the air, and lands in a lightning-shutter aura before the recovering Robin. "Nnnnngh!" She snarls and surges at him with the full-force of a murderous punch. Robin blocks her at the last second, expertly counters with a jab to her rib cage, and eventually squares off with her across the clearing in a full-on duel of deadly karate chops and jump kicks. Whump! "Nnngh!" Thwap! "Augh!" Smack! "Hiyaaa!" Whap! Slap!

In the meantime, I'm rubbing my sore neck and trying to get up. I wince all the way, shake the cobwebs loose, and frown at the would-be attackers.. … .. …wherever they are.

Just now, I hear swift, shuffling footsteps from the forested undergrowth to the left.

**CHIIIING!** I whip out Myrkblade and get into a fighting pose, facing the treeline at attention.

Trembling slightly.. ….

And indeed, outward emerge two strangers. The first slides down the collapsed tree trunk that he has just chopped down. He leaps with a flurry of his denim-on-denim blue jacket and lands in a half-squat, glaring with stone blue eyes. The second marches in covered from head to toe with battered armor of silver. He wears an open, metal helmet over his dark-skinned face and juggles a metal ball in his hand.

"Leslie!" the metal-geared fiend barks. "You grab it yet?"

"Bloody good help you lot are!" the blonde girl in white growls whilst dueling with Robin. She ducks and leaps a punch and kick from the Boy Wonder respectively and then raises her crossed forearms in time to ward off his suddenly unsheathed bo-staff. CLANG! "Nnnngh—Any day would be smashing, Simon!"

"Hmmm… ….," 'Simon' smirks from under his helmet and flicks a wrist towards the distant fight across the forest. "Since the girl kindly asks… …"

**FLASSSH!** A rope of flame erupts from the metal surface of Robin's bo-staff. The Boy Wonder gasps, and drops the bludgeon out from the grip of his glove. "Auugh!" Before he can so much as recoil in pain—

**WHAM!** The girl slams him in the gut with her fist and drops his chin forcibly down into her knee. **THWACK!**

"Ooof!" Robin exhales, spits blood, and collapses to the forest floor.

Snatch! The vixen swiftly grabs the bleeping Titan Communicator from the team leader's grasp. "I'll be taking that, thank you!"

I gasp. I make to run to Robin's aide—

Swoooosh! The young man in denim slides directly in my path. "Sorry, kid," he utters, his blue eyes ever hard. "But you're a little too young for me to be putting my foot up your ass. So I'll be making this short." **CHIIIIING!** He places the tip of his curved, blue sword up to the nape of my neck.

I gulp, sweating… …

He smirks ever so slightly. "Now turn around. Run home." His wrist twists on the hilt—

**WHAM!** Bard's fist slams into the swordsman's cheek and pummels the stranger into the floor. "Recess ain't over till I say it is, Loverboy!"

The armored thug does a double-take. "Dayum…"

"Oh, you want some of this too, punk?" Bard spits blood and raises a fist towards the new challenger. "Oh yeah! Jumping us in the middle of the woods is a class act!" He swings his guitar out from behind his back. "Well, it only takes a dog halfway to run 'into a forest' before it's skinned alive!"

"Hah hah hah—Whatcha gonna do, Cowboy? Serenade me to death---AAAAUGH!" the man in metal suddenly cringes all over as a bright beam of shimmering energy is flung into his face.

Bard strums at his guitar, shining a magical beam into the fiend's eyes. "Huh? Huh? Can't handle the 'Light of a Neon Moon'?" Bard victoriously cackles as he brings the metal man to his knees.

Then there's a whistling to the side. "Hey! Yankee!"

"Huh?" Bard glances over.

The blonde girl has Robin's communicator in one hand and is pointing her silver glove at Bard with the other. "You want **light**?"

**FLASSSSSH!**

"AUGH!" Bard all but drops his guitar, blinded by the optic flare.

It takes every bit of energy in my body to clench my eyes shut and fight the blinding fury. I seethe, falling to my knees besides the cowboy.

But I don't give up.. …

I dig Myrkblade into the ground. I shoot murk into the soil. I feel the dark currents traveling along the earthen floor and towards her till it reaches her agile legs.

There you are.. …

I take one breath. Two. **FWOOOOSH!** I teleport forward and materialize with a blind swing of Myrkblade.

It connects—

**THWACKK!**

"OOOF!" she falls back and slamps against a tree. She shakes her head, looks up, and gasps—ducking at the last second—

**CHUNK!** Myrkblade pins her to the tree by her blonde threads. I press my meager weight down against her. She struggles, snarls, then kicks back at me. WHUMP!

RIIIIP! Myrkblade slices free of the tree, taking a few strands of blonde threads with it.

I fall on my butt as the girl collapses to the grass. She pants, looks desperately aside, and sees the young, bruised man in blue denim struggling up to his feet. "M-Michael! Can you make like the bloomin' wind?"

"Nnngh.. …Right now, all I feel like doing is breaking wind. Owww—My chest, for the love of—nngh—God… …"

"Fetch, ya namby-pamby!" she tosses the communicator. Fwooosh!

My jaw drops as I watch it fly through the air.

"Yeah yeah…" Snatch! The man in blue catches it with silver-tipped fingers. "Got it!"

"Now go! On your bike!" the girl shrieks before whipping out two tonfas—Sw-Swiish!—And diving down at me with both weapons. "We'll keep 'em company while you find the girl! RAUGH!"

I gasp and deflect with Myrkblade at the last second. CLANG! CL-CLANG! CLAAAANG!

In the meantime.. … … "Nnnngh.. …," Robin is struggling to his knees. He looks up and gasps in time to see the young fiend running off into the forest with the communicator. "Dammit!" He looks our way. "Noir!"

CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! I'm busy fighting Miss Britain to the death.

Robin gripes and turns to the cowboy. "Bard!"

"Nnnngh… …But Momma, I done told you. The flea market burned down yesterday—"

"Bard! Snap out of it and go after the communicator!"

"Ugh, now why's that thing so damned important—?"

"For the love of God, just use your stupid Wind Song and take him down!" Robin leaps up to his feet and runs across the clearing. "We've gotta recover that thing at all costs! Whoever these punks are, they're not ruining our search!"

"Yeah Yeah.. …. …the usual roundup," Bard holds his breath and takes off down the forest with a burst of magical wind.

"Hey!" the man in metal rushes after him. "Where do you think you're going—" WHAM! "OOF!" He stumbles back, clutching the one vulnerable spot between his armored chest and pelvis.

Robin lowers his kicking foot and slinks into a fighting position. "Hang tight, Noir!" He calls aside to me and my fight. "We've got these creeps."

"You've got yourself a whole new world of pain, that's what you got.. …," the helmeted teen grumbles. "That girl you're chasin' after? She's ours… …"

"Your what? Your target?"

"Our **friend**," the young man frowns…. …then smirks. He juggles two metal spheres in his hands and sets them on fire with wildly splashing sparks. "And if you won't stop stalking her, then get ready for a can of silverflare whoopass, Boy Blunder."

Robin's eyemask narrows. "There's one thing common about every crook who's ever called me by that name."

"Heh heh…and what's that?"

"The number of compound fractures they end up with…," Robin snarls, then dives in with birdarangs slicing. CHIIIING! "HIYAAAAAAAA!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

The cave opens up.

The quartz gives away to polished marble.

Daylight spills into the once-labyrinthal path.

Starfire and Static emerge first, shading their eyes as they squint out onto the blindingly bright landscape.

"I.. …I-I don't get it," Static mutters. "I thought the facility we were going to was underground too, Fraust."

"Surely.. …S-Surely we must have taken a wrong turn earlier in our subterranean wanderings," Starfire adds.

Fraust comes to a stop behind them. She folds her hands. She sighs. She hangs her head. "I.. ….I-I am sorry, once again.. …"

"?.?.?" Static turns and looks back at her with Starfire. "Say what?"

"I had to do that which was necessary to stop.. …to st-stop further suffering," Fraust murmurs with her lip quivering. But not from the cold seeping all over her. "I need more than your help. And sacrifices must b-be made."

"Fraust.. …What are you trying to pull here?"

Starfire blinks. Her green eyes travel down Fraust's arms and into her hands—"!.!.!" Starfire gasps and points. "Virgil! She has one of our communicators!"

"Whoah!" Static raises a fist of electrical energy. "Girl, you sure had better hand that back over if you knew what's good for you!"

"It's t-too late….," Fraust exhales.

"H-Huh?"

"I.. ….I already used it," Fraust remarks with a sad, yet confident twinkle to her sapphire eyes. She's looking up at something behind the two Titan's shoulders.

But before the alarmed duo can turn around---

**VROMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

A bright beam of white-blue energy sails in from the blinding, outside world and encases their ankles and feet in solid ice.

CRKKKK-KKKKK!

"Aaaugh!" Static winces and shudders all over.

"Eeeep!" Starfire gasps. She raises two hands to summon starbolts and surge them into her sudden, frozen imprisonment—

**VROMMMMM!**

The same beam sails in and encases her wrists in 'shackles' of solid ice.

Starfire shivers along with Static. Helpless, the two Titans fall over and roll to their sides on the cave entrance floor. Fraust winces slightly at the sight.

"But… …B-B-But….," Static's teeth chatter. "Wh-Wh-Wh-Who.. …. ..?"

"**Do not get the wrong impression of my young protégé, Teen Titans,"** an emotionless voice electronically echoes. With stomping footsteps, a robotic figure marches up onto the scene. Towering. Menacing. From atop a suit of cybernetic muscle, a translucent glass bubble houses the deadpan, pale face of Mister Freeze. He trains his ice cannon once more at the helpless teens and drones through a speaker system built into his suit: **"Fraust is not the one presently abducting you. I am."**


	60. Hornet's Nest 4

"Bard!" Robin called to me as he fended off attacks from Flame Man of Megaman fame...or something. I was still shaking the cobwebs out. A tree had damn near fell on me. "Snap out of it! He's getting away with the communicator!"

I jumped to my feet and looked around. The guy was running through the forest towards the dirt road. I set my feet and ran after him. I got a running start, hopped off the rusty old car and jumped into the thick of the woods. The villain cast a glance over his shoulder at me and doubles his pace. He rounded a huge tree, rustling. I was right on his trail-

**WHAP!**

A branch recoiled and smacked me in the teeth. I came up spitting pine needles.

"Sonuva-!"

I heard the roar of a motorcycle and, through the foliage, dust being thrown into the air. Well...he wasn't the only one with a steel horse. I ran, jumped through a bush and into the saddle of my Harley. I slammed my boot down on the ignition. My back tire threw up dust, skidded to the side and finally got traction.

**VROOOM!**

I was off. The denim villain had a good head start on me, but it didn't matter. Even if his bike was faster than mine, I knew I could catch up with him. This wasn't a highway. I'd spent a good deal of my life riding through the backwoods. I wagered this guy hadn't.

I was right. He was flying, but he was taking it easy on the curves. Soon enough, I pulled my motorcycle in besides his.

"Hey, you!" I yelled over the whooshing air. "License and registration!"

His answer was sharply turning his bike to the left and ramming into me. Sparks flew as the bodies of our bikes met. My Harley wobbled underneath me and sent me off the dirt road. With no other choice, I turned it hard to the side and skidded to the stop just in front of a big oak.

I gritted my teeth.

_You ain't getting away that easy, son!_

I revved my bike and went in pursuit again. He looked back as I made my way back at him again. He held out his hand and, in a blue flash, held a very large pistol.

_What the-?_

**BLAM!**

I jerked my Harley to the right and dirt from the shot flew up where I'd been. I glared and kicked my bike into a higher gear. I reached down to my waist and pulled out a pistol of my own.

My trusty laser pistol.

**ZAP!**

He looked back just as I took aim and ducked just in time for the shot to go over his head.

I was on him now. I revved the engine and pulled up beside him. Michael...the girl had called him that...pointed his pistol at me at point blank range.

"!"

**BLAM!**

I dodged and the shot went over my shoulder. In the same motion, I hugged my bike and rammed it into his. But Michael was ready. He rammed right back and, our bikes locked, we sparked down the dirt road.

"Hey!" He yelled. "Your momma's butt-hole wrote you a letter. It said 'Come home soon'!"

I frowned.

"You got a letter, too, pissant! It's to confirm your five o clock appointment for the woodshed!"

I slammed my hand down on his wrist and the gun fell on the blurring ground...only to appear in his other hand. He aimed at me again-

**BLAM!**

I unlocked my bike from his and swerved away to dodge. But as I did, I reached out and grabbed a branch from a speeding tree. I drove back in and shoved it into the spokes of his front wheel.

**FWOOSH!**

His bike flew up into the air, flipping over and over. I started to slow down when he landed...not crashed...on his tires.

_Holy-!_

While he was still fighting to get control of the bike, I rammed into him again. Unprepared, he was sent off the narrow road into the woods. I turned and followed him.

**TH-TH-TH-TH-TH-THWAP!**

Branches from trees and bushes smacked against us as we sped through the woods. A thick, low branch blurred at us. As I watched in amazement, Hull stood on his bike, jumped and vaulted off the branch as his motorcycle went under it. He flipped and landed back on it.

It was my turn, and I sure as hell won't trying that. I slid as far to the side as possible and gripped the body of my Harley.

**TWOOSH!**

I cleared the branch and got back into position just in time to see the flash where Michael conjured up a blade. He hit a mound of dirt and, while airborne, he sliced off a branch and flung it backwards at me just as I was hitting the ramp.

_I can do that, too, buddy!_

I turned my bike sharply to the side just as I went airborne. I held out my arm, hummed and held an ice sword in my hand. I held on to the sideways bike with one hand as the branch barreled at me. My eyes narrowed. I swung.

**SLASSH!**

The ice sword sheared the branch and rained down bark and shavings. I dropped the sword, grabbed the handlebars with both hands and jerked hard to the side. I lined my bike up just as I hit the ground again.

I took in a deep breath. Taking a hand off the bike, I reached into my pocked and brought out a pocket watch. I flicked it open and stole a glance at it.

_Four forty five._

I put it away and gripped the handlebars with renewed conviction.

_Plenty of time._

**VROOOOM!**


	61. Hornet's Nest 5

**_SW-SW-SWISSSSSH!_** I twirl Myrkblade and slash forward at the girl in white.

She leaps back, twirls aside from my blade, and raises a high kick towards my scarred throat.

I lean back, cartwheel in reverse, and slide back on my feet just in time to raise Myrkblade and block with the hilt—

_WH-WHAP!_—as she brings two slicing hands against me.

We shove against each other. Struggling. Fighting….

Sweat dribbles off the edges of her eyemask and blonde bangs.

I take a deep breath narrow my black eyes, and drop everything I'm doing—

**_FWOOOSH!_** The fiend finds herself suddenly lurching forward. For a good reason too. I have just morphed into smoke form. She stumbles through my essence. _Fwiish!_ I solidify behind her, twirl around, and raise Myrkblade up high to slap down hard onto her shoulder with the flat edge—

_Thwoosh!_ The girl spins around and aims her gloved palm directly at me. I can almost see the flare build up in a split second—

_**FLASSSSSH!** _

A pulse of hot light burns into my eyes.

Blinded, I stumble back and all but collapse to my knees.

_Son of a crustacean--! _

Fw-Fw-Fwisssh! I feel the wind shift as she twirls towards me and readies a drop kick to my skull---

_Stomp-Stomp-Stomp-Stomp-**Stomp!**_ "Nnnngh!" I feel Robin's hands from behind as he vaults over my shoulders and slams into the young lady's chest with a karate kick. "HIYAA!"

_**WH-WHAP!** _

She stumbles back, gasping for the breath that has just been forced out of her lungs—

**_WH-WHAM!_** Robin wastes no time in socking her across the face and following up with a steel-toed plow to the lower abdomen. **WHAP!**

She falls to the forest floor and rolls a few feet, coughing and sputtering. "Kaff! Kaff! Nnngh—Bullocks!"

"I'm sorry," Robin sneers. "Did I just put you out?"

A shrill whistling sound.

By this time, my sight is more or less back. I squint in the direction of the second attacker.

He stands at ready across the forest clearing, his metal-laced arms folded. "Forgot about me? And to think I considered you two equal-opportunity ass kickers…"

"P-Please, Simon.. …," the girl on the floor wheezes. "Knock off the mucking about and just burn them!"

"I know how you love a barbecue, Leslie," he clenches his fists and his metal gauntlets shimmer with hot red sparks all over. "Hey! You two want to order 'medium rare' or 'well done'? Either way, I'm gonna singe the red meat right out of you!"

"I don't know what you three are hoping to accomplish, but you just picked a bad day for a fight!" Robin snarls.

I glance aside at him through the corners of my black eyes, sweating.

_I wonder if my glorious leader's one strength is to hide behind an enormous number of verbal clichés… …._

"Fraust is ours.. …," Silverflare gets into a fighting pose. "So lay off!"

"We won't let you capture her like Chang captured Red X!" Robin shouts.

"You don't get it.. …," 'Leslie' winces and struggles to a kneeling position. "W-We're not her enemies. We're her mates."

I do a double-take at that.

Robin's eyemask squints. "Well, that doesn't make sense. Why attack us?"

"LET'S FIND OUT!" 'Simon' suddenly burns a sparkling path towards us as the rear of his body armor sparkles in hot propulsion. **_SWISSSSSSSSSH!_** "YEAAAAAUGH!"

The pyrokinetic maniac burns a path through the forest clearing and curls the grass blades at our feet. Whatever urine is running down my leg quickly evaporates.

"Noir!" Robin shoves me out of the way. "Move!"

I roll on the ground, gasping.

Robin leaps up, fires a grappling hook, and swings up just as the maniac burns by—_**FWOOOOOSH!** _

"HAAAAH!" the man spins, snarls, and collects a flame of collected ashes in his hand.

Robin perches on a branch and looks down—

"Bird on a wire!" the man grins and launches the fireball. _**FWOOOMBBB!** _

Robin grits his teeth and leaps just in time—

**_POWWW!_** The branch he was just on explodes in ash and splinters.

"Nnnngh-HAAH!" The man tosses another fireball, and another, and another—

**_POW!_** Robin leaps. **_POWW!_** Robin swings. **_P-POW!_** Robin twirls like a trapeze artist, flips, and lands on one last branch hanging precariously over the clearing in open sight of the villain.

"Nice moves, punk," 'Simon' smirks. "But the cooler the moves, the faster you melt."

_Yeah._

_You don't deserve to stand after that. _

**_FWOOOOOOSSSH!_** I am blurring at him with Myrkblade swinging hard.

**CLANGGG!** I slam the back of his helmet so that it vibrates like the Liberty Bell.

"AAAAUGH!" he grips his shaking head, snarls, and twirls around. Towering me. "Grrrrrrrr…."

I stumble backwards in his shadow. Sweatdropping---

"Guess what, kid?" **_FWOOOMB!_** He fountains his right fist all over in flaring, silver sparks and reaches hotly for me. "It's Shake n'Bake! And you just helped—"

**_SWISSSSSSH!_** A disc with the 'R' symbol flies down and explodes all over Simon's shoulder, encasing the flaming limb in ice. _CRKKKK!_ "Special delivery, Noir!"

"Augh!" the fiend stumbles back, waving his stiff….arm. "No fair!"

I hold my breath, run, leap, and perform a diving kick into his side.

**_CRKKKKK!_** The ice shatters into a cloud of veritable snow.

He gasps and flinches from the powder, as if allergic to cold.

I vault backwards from the impact, connect the soles of my boots with a tree trunk, and coil up a spring of murk.

_Let's see how good he is without those rusted pajamas. _

**_FWOOOOOSH!_** I blur at him like an obsidian missile.

He snarls and swings a fist at me---

_FW-FW-FWOOOSH!_ I teleport down his arm… …and slink down the inside of his breast plate.

A beat.

He blinks. ".. …w-wait a minute—"

**_POWWWW!.!.!.!_** I materialize with a burst of explosive smoke. In slow motion, his entire metal girdle and shoulder guards and even pelvic guards fly every which way like an expanding web of shrapnel. He gasps and flails all over, finally falling to his knees. "Ooomff!…God dayum! Ya little shrimp!"

_Th-Th-Thwoosh!_ I land in the middle of the clearing.

Swooosh-_Plant!_ Robin drops down beside me.

"Nnnng-**RAAAUGH!**" 'Simon' gets up with two burning balls of metal in each palm.

Robin and I pose shoulder to shoulder, combat gloves and Myrkblade raised.

"I am REALLY going to make you fry for that, punks!"

"Wow, Noir," Robin smirks. "We certainly got ourselves one Hell of a flamer, don't we?"

I giggle mutely…helplessly.

Simon's eyes go wide. There's a snickering to the side as even the bruised, blonde girl manages a fiendish chuckle or two.

"All right… …," Simon drops both balls and flicks his wrist towards the forest clearing behind us. "Time to drop the effin' hammer!"

_**THRSSSSSSSSH!** _

We both hear a rush of sparks behind us.

"… … ….?" Robin and I turn around and look over our shoulders.

The rusted, abandoned car is rattling….shaking.. …._levitating._ _Flaaaaaaash!_ Blinding heat and brilliant sparks are propelling the entire metal frame upwards and tilting it towards us.

Simon grins wide. "Hope you kids traded your lunch money for cab fair."

_"Oh just bloody squash 'em already!" _

_**FWOOOOOOSSSSSH!** _

The car flies at us.

Robin dives to the side with a grunt. I leap high with a pulse of murk.

**_WOOO-OOOOSSSSH!_** The car scrapes right by us.

Simon pivots his arms and twists his wrists.

The burning vehicle arcs around in the air, twists high above the forest canopy, and streaks down towards us in a rainbow of fire. _**PHWOOOOMB!** _

"Nnngh!" Robin desperately flings two explosive birdarangs at the gigantic projectile.

_Sw-Sw-Sw-Sw-Swiisssh-**P-POWWW!** _

The explosions merely cause the vehicle to flip in mid-air and slide towards us in reverse.

Robin and I turn and run.

**CRUNNNCCCCCH!** The car slams into the Earth and half 'burrows' after us, tossing dirt and plasma every which way.

I blur as fast as I can and outrun the car.

Robin, on the other hand….

"Yaaaugh!" He leaps desperately forward and fires a grappling hook towards a tree on the opposite side of the clearing. _POW! Cl-Clank!_ He yanks on the cord's slack in mid-sprint so that he is literally swinging horizontally parallel to the forest floor. His legs continue moving, kicking off the 'stepping stones' of tree branches forming the woodland wall beside him as the burning car gives chase. **_CRACK-CRACK-CRACK-CRACK!_** The car's rusted frame plows through the tree trunks behind Robin's sideways-bounding feet until the Boy Wonder dives forward at the last second and ducks in a fresh ditch over which the car soars. _**FWOOOOOMB!** _

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha!" Simon laughs merrily. His burning eyes dash to the side—

_FWOOOOSH!_ I sail towards him from thirty feet away with Myrkblade swinging.

I snarl.

_Time to finish this once and for all you stupid hea— _

**THUD!.!.!** The car slams face-first into the forest soil right in front of me like a burning wall.

_Yikes! _

I gasp and backflip several feet to a sliding crouch. Panting. Eyeing the flaming, huge projectile—

"You!" Simon points and then hurtles the car at me. "Time to go up in smoke.. …_FOR GOOD!" _

**_PHWOOOOOMMBB!_** The burning, rusted car sails in my direction.

"Noir!" Robin wheezes from where he climbs out of the distant ditch. "Don't try anything stupid!"

I clench my jaw, hold my breath, and charge forward. I leap—**_FWOOOOOSH!_**—I teleport smokily through the hulking frame of the rusted car and materialize on the other side with a flying kick straight into Simon's skull.

**_THUDD!.!.! _**

**_CRACKKKK!_** His helmet splits in two from the force of my impact. "Uggggggh!"

**THUD!** The car falls dead and smoking behind me as—_Th-Thap!_ I land in a taut crouch, smoking all over. "… …."

"… ….," Robin blinks. "Well, nevermind."

Oh, and Simon is still flying through the air at this moment.

**_WHANGGG!_** He lands, slamming backwards into the woodshed and wincing all over. "Uggggh…." He rubs his naked, bald head. "Dayum.. …. …I haven't felt that in ag---" He blinks his dark eyes. He makes a face. "… …is that a motorcycle engine?"

We all look up….


	62. Hornet's Nest 6

**VROOM!**

The denim villain rocketed through the forest, trees blurring by on either side.

**VROOM!**

I followed after him, maybe twenty yards behind.

I heard Michael's engine whine and I knew he'd hit the highest gear. He zoomed past trees at breakneck speeds. I did the same, getting as much speed out of my Harley as possible. He was _not_ getting away. I focused on him and nothing else.

**SCCCREEETCHH!**

He suddenly slammed on brakes, throwing dirt high into the air, and turned away at a ninety degree angle just as we came up on a giant tree that had to have been hundreds of years old. He throttled off, cackling.

My eyes wide, I hit my own brakes, but my bike was a lot heavier than his and, thus, couldn't stop as fast.

**SC-SC-SC-SCRRETCH!**

Holding my breath, I bunny hopped the back tire and leaned forward as far as I could. I rode on the front tire only almost totally vertical and threw my weight hard to the side. The bike spun on the axis of the front wheel, turning me around. I knew the tree was behind me now somewhere but-

**THUMP!**

My airborne back tire hit the tree. I reopened my eyes and found myself balancing vertical on it. I hit the gas, drove down the tree until both wheels were back on the ground.

**VROOM!**

The chase was on again. I heard a splash ahead of me and, a moment later, saw a shallow brook with Michael driving up it like a path.

**SPLASH!**

I landed in the brook and throttled after him. He looked back at me, shaking his head. His hand flashed blue and, instead of the pistol I was expecting...it was a blow torch.

I frowned.

**PHOOSH!**

He held the flame over the water. Almost immediately, a thick fog of steam rose up. I squinted ahead, trying to see. I abruptly emerged from the fog, only to see Michael was gone...and a bridge just ahead.

"!"

I had no where to go. Saying a quick prayer, I slammed the brakes, turned my Harley sideways and leaned as hard as I could away from the bridge. In a high spray of water, I slid safely under the bridge. But the brook turned then and my tires hit the bank sideways. My motorcycle was sent into a barrel roll while I clung on for dear life. The Harley hit the ground sideways, threw me off and tumbled to an idling stop. I took a moment to make sure I had all my limbs and, that confirmed, I punched the moist ground hard with my fist.

This guy was starting to piss me off!

I stomped over to my Harley and picked it up. I mounted it and, in my rage, hit the gas a little harder than I should. Huge clumps of earth flew up before I got traction and rocketed again into the forest.

I was tired of chasing him from behind. Instead, I was going to cut him off at the pass. And I did.

We saw each other just as we were entering a clearing surrounded by fallen trees that were held up by their brethren. We snarled and hit the gas.

**VROOOM!**

Simultaneously, we threw out bikes into wheelies and rode up a diagonal, fallen tree opposite each other. We flew at each other airborne, our teeth grit and our eyes blazing. I pulled out my laser pistol. He pulled out his magnum. At the peak of our jump, side by side-

**ZAP!**

**BLAM!**

My hat went flying, a bullet shredding through it's very top. We passed each other and landed hard, bouncing. We hit the gas, turned and faced each other, out bikes' motors idling like beasts waiting to be unleashed.

He glared at me.

I glared right back.

"..."

"..."

**PHWOOSH!**

His jean jacket exploded into flames from my laser shot that must have just snubbed it. In a flurry, he ripped it off and flung it to the ground. We watched as the denim roasted.

"Urgghhh...!" Michael shook. "You'l pay for that, you f'n Commie!"

"If you're feelin' froggy, son, all you gotta do is leap!"

**FLASH!**

A sword appeared in his hand.

**CHING!**

An ice sword appeared in my own.

**VROOM!**

**VROOM!**

We drove at each other one handed, the other aiming our weapons-

**CLANK! SCKKRRRIKT!**

Sparks flew from the weapons as we passed. Michael turned for another modern day joust, but I kept right on rolling.

_I'll let you chase ME for a while!_

Off into the forest we went again, threading through trees and hopping over fallen logs. I looked over my shoulder, just in time to see him rearing his sword over his head and chucking it at me end of end.

I slid hard to the side, hit the brakes and changed the gears. Facing him now and rolling backwards, I hummed raggedly under my breath and erected a ice shield. But instead of me, the sword hit dead on with my front tire.

I had a split second before the world turned into a huge blur. A metal spoke from my front wheel was sheared off and got stuck in my back wheel. In a second I was airborne for the millionth time, my bike back flipping wildly with me holding on for dear life once again. I looked up...down...and saw Michael passing under me. I let go of my doomed bike...and landed on the back of his.

"Wh-Whoa!"

My Harley smashed into a tree and exploded in a ball of fire and metal shrapnel. I stared in shock...before turning to Michael.

**WHAM!**

I punched him in the back of the head.

"You!"

**WHAM!**

"Destroyed!"

**WHAM!**

"My!"

**WHAM!**

"Steel!"

**WHAM!**

"HORSE!"

Michael ducked the last punch and smacked me with a back elbow. Totally unprepared, I damn near fell off the back of the bike. Off-balance, I reached out and grabbed the back of his shirt. That sent both of us leaning back and the front wheel of his bike wheelied into the air...just as we reached a huge drop off.

"HOLY-!"

"AHHHHH!"

We bailed off the bike as it spun madly in the air over a familiar place. Below, Noir and Robin stared at us before diving out of the way. Michael's bike slammed hard into a tree and exploded in just the way my own Harley had. That made me feel better...but then we landed.

**CRASH!**

We smashed through the old woodshed, tearing it to pieces. Sprawled out in a pile of lumber beside my enemy, I reached down with my eyes closed and brought out the pocket watch. I opened my eyes with effort and looked at it.

Five after five.

_...What the hell? It's close enough._

I looked at Michael.

"...T-told you I'd take ya to the woodshed..."

He moved ever so slightly.

"Yeah...w-well...I took you with me."

I slowly sat up and pulled a particularly long splinter out of my arm. I looked at him.

"...Shush. No one likes a smart ass."


	63. Hornet's Nest 7

Th-Thwump! The blonde illuminkinetick is tossed down onto her fanny besides 'Simon' and 'Michael'.

"Ooof!" She winces, her wrists shackled behind her in polycarbonite handcuffs. She frowns up at Robin.

"So… …," Robin dusts his gloves off and props a foot up on a tree stump, glaring down at the three defeated ambushers as he rests a hand on his knee. "Now that we've got you all thoroughly beaten, what say you give us back our communicator?"

I stand to the side, sharpening Myrkblade as 'menacing' as I can.

Bard is brushing the dust off his hat and muttering something or another about his 'steel horse'.

I'm a little worried for him.. … …

"I'm afraid we can't help you with your bloody little toy, Titan," Leslie spits. "Maybe you should have done a better job of holding onto it!"

Robin frowns. He glares over at 'Michael'. "You. She tossed it to you before you took off for your motorbike. Give it back to me."

"And how far up your ass would you like it, Boy Wonder?" He growls.

"He won't give it to you," 'Simon' shakes his head with a smirk. A beat. ".. … …y-you won't give it to him, will ya, Mike?"

Michael growls.

Robin leans back and sighs. "All right, then. Noir?"

I glance over.

"Gut him."

I bite my lip.

Robin turns and glances at me. "You heard me! Go over there and disembowel him, Noir! Most likely he swallowed it!"

"Skkkt-Hahahaha.. …That munchkin?" Michael grins. "He couldn't even circumcise an elephant with a steakknife if you asked him to!"

"Yeah.. ….I suppose he is a queasy rookie about that sort of stuff," Robin suddenly whips off his utility belt and binds it around my forehead and eyes like a clunky blindfold till I'm blood. "THERE… …Now, Noir. Do your duty."

I take a nervous breath, I step forward with Myrkblade smokily serrated—**CHIIING!**

I sense Michael shifting and squirming in place. "All right—ALL RIGHT! 'Eesus, I just wanted bragging rights for this day. Not some God-forsaken second belly button!"

"Just give 'em the bloody squawker, Michael. We loss."

"Feh…"

Fl-Flash!

Robin grabs his utility belt and fits it on while picking up the communicator materializing in Michael's handcuffed, silver grasp. "Thank you. Now, do you think you three can explain yourselves?"

"They done dug themselves three graves," Bard mutters, glaring at one fiend in particular. "And they're going to rip denim-boy in three and toss his yellow-bellied-guts in each!"

"Nuts to you, udder-sucker! If we had a round two, I'd fix that gay-ass hat of yours onto your inside-out prostate gland!"

"That's enough outta you—" Robin points—

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I not swing you through enough woodsheds?" Bard stomps forward, shaking a fist and snarling. "What say I take you on a field trip to the nearest Home Depot?.! You can build me a new one to slam you against! And all you'll have to nail the wood together is your nose hair and wrist bones! HA! And guess what you'll have to use as a hammer?"

"BARD! KNOCK IT OFF!"

Michael grumbles.

Bard grumbles.

I take a nervous breath.

Robin paces with the communicator. He glances at a blipping signal flashing in a stationary position and exhales with a bit of relief. "Just where we left them.. …Almost.. …."

"If your teammates so much as hurt a single hair on that frozen lass' head… ..," 'Leslie' begins…

"I'm sure that's beneath them, for whoever's concerned," Robin says.

"Wait—Hold your horses," Bard leans in. ".. …. ..the other Titans are in on this?"

"Starfire is."

Bard blinks. "… …. ….Huh?"

Robin waves the communicator. "She's turned her signal on over the last few hours. She is escorting Fraust through the wilderness Eastward. She has been this whole time."

I do a double-take.

"… … …," Bard blinks. "And you figured this out **when**?"

"A long time ago," Robin drones. "Soon after we loss track of Fraust's own tracking devices. It's how I've known to have us follow her the entire time."

"Well, why the heck haven't we tried to call her or something?" Bard cackles, arms flailing under his pancho. "Jeez Louise, Robin! That witch could be turning her into a Popsicle by now--!"

"I think Starfire is more than capably aware of the danger she's managing, and I trust her to keep a handle on things," the Boy Wonder says in an emotionless, yet confident tone. "Besides, I don't think she's alone."

I lean my head to the side.

Bard scratches his noggin. "… …who else, then?"

"Besides, that's not the sort of thing Amy would do."

The three of us glance the handcuffed youngsters' way.

"What's that?" Bard inquires.

Leslie hangs her blonde head with a sigh. "Amy.. …'Fraust'.. …."

"So you do know her?"

I roll my black eyes. I charade 'heeeeeere's your sign".

"Yeah," Simon grumbles. "And she's been through enough crap without you would-be-heroes laying the pressure thick on her." He motions with his bald head towards Leslie. "The moment Pulsade here caught sight of the two Titans dragging her through the woods, the two of us came as fast as we could. But by the time we got here, Fraust had taken them underground like they must have forced her too. So we were out of options, till we saw the likes of you chumps snooping around with your communicator n'stuff…."

"Two Titans?" Bard remarks. A beat. He gives the blonde a wyrd look. "'Pulsade'?"

"Nnngh," the British lady rolls her masked eyes. "'Pulsade'." She nods towards Simon. "'Silverflare'." Michael. "Hull." She glares our way again. "Those were the names given to us… .. …. …when we were enslaved by H.I.V.E."

I jump at the sound of that. I look eagerly Robin's and Bard's way.

Bard folds his arms. "So, you mean to tell us you're in league with those goof-offs we fought days ago in the Jump City shipyards?"

"Hell no!" 'Hull' cackles. "Do they look like our sort of crowd? We ditched them years ago like a bloated appendix!"

"Well, we were tossed out into the night to rot and die," Silverflare grumbles. ".. …. …but somebody else took us in. They plucked out the god dayum contraptions H.I.V.E. had stuck in us. They gave us freedom. But our old friend.. ….Amy…." Simon shakes his head. "Poor chick. She didn't make it."

"And so you come back to the hot water to try and save your melting iceberg of a friend," Robin strolls forward. "Heh, some pals you are. You could have done it sooner and got tangled in the whole group of us Titans. Hell, I'm surprised you didn't even tap into the Jump City Penitentiary."

"Nope," Pulsade smirks slightly. "Turns out, some upstart chap beat us to that."

"Yes… …," Robin takes a deep breath. "… … …and I'm starting to think **I know who**."

I gulp.. …

"This 'Neo H.I.V.E'… …," Hull begins in a low voice. "All of us have been in deep shit. All of us. But this new group is the total, absolute pits. What we hear they do to kids like us these days is absolutely rotten as Hell. We're not going to let any of them—much less Fraust—go through that if we can help it."

"And it never once occurred to you to get the authorities into it?" Robin glares.

"HAH!" Simon cackles. "Like the Law? Come on, Titans! You should know criminals by now!"

"Oh, we do," Robin says.

Bard smirks.

"… …at least **I** do," Robin digresses.

Bard's smirk leaves.

Robin grins knowingly at the captured crooks. "Once an outlaw, always an outlaw. And never to be trusted."

"Kid tested.. …," Hull breathes. "Satan approved."

"Then you must know the Titans by now," Robin points sternly. "We've never met a villain that we liked. So, off to Prison with you."

"Typical… …," Pulsade spits. "You know, Yanks, you should be thankin' us! We might actually have spared your two teammates once we caught up with Fraust! But now? Now, Freeze has probably gotten to them first!"

"Heh, whatever," Robin waves them off and turns to walk away—but stops in his tracks. He slowly turns and squints at the fiends. "… …wait.. … …**who**?"


	64. Hornet's Nest 8

"Freeze." Pulsade reiterated emphatically. "F-R-E-E-Z-E. Freeze. Got it bloody memorized?"

"Yeah!" Her bald accomplice piped up. "What other Freeze do you know?"

"Actually, I once met a fella named Wyn-"

"Freeze?" Robin asked the villains tersely, cutting me off. "Victor Freeze?"

"That would be the one." Michael muttered.

I glared at him.

"What's his connection to Fraust?" Robin demanded.

"Besides the fact they both have ice powers?" Simon said obviously.

Robin ignored him and looked at Pulsade.

"I dunno the details." She said. "Except that Freeze considers Fraust his adopted daughter. He's Fraust's ultimate trump card."

"That's a hell of a card." I whistled.

"Do not pass Go." Michael smirked. "Do not collect two hundred dollars..."

**WHUMP!**

I kicked him in the side of his leg.

"You shush. You're the one heading directly to jail. And don't think I done forgot you owe me a bike _and_ a hat!"

"And you owe me the Director's Cut of Brokeback Mountain."

"Woo hoo." I drawled sarcastically. "Real clever one there. How did you _ever_ come up with it?"

"Enough, guys." Robin turned away, thinking hard.

We watched him dumbly.

"We have to get to Starfire as quickly as possible." He finally decided, driving a fist into his palm. "Freeze is extremely dangerous."

Noir waved his hands. He signed.

Robin looked at me.

"He wants to know what we're gonna do about them." I jerked my thumb at the three metahuman bandits.

Robin looked at them closely.

"...You said you wanted to help your friend? Fraust?"

"That's right." Pulsade said.

"You're going to get your chance. Come on."

I nearly spit.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" I waved my hands wildy. "Wait a cotton pickin' minute here! There ain't not way on God's green earth that I'm working with _him!_" I jabbed a finger into Michael's face.

Robin turned away from me and started walking, expecting us to follow.

"Find a way."

I stood there, smoldering.

Michael jumped to his feet and smirked at me.

"Sorry about your bike, man. If it's any consolation at all, feel free to sit on my shotgun barrel and rotate."

"...Shut up."

TTTTTTTTTT

Water dripped from somewhere in the dark cave, measuring the seconds. Static and Starfire, side by side, were encased from the neck-down in shimmering ice. The two shivered, but Static put on a brave face.

"Yo, man! Let us go! You're gonna pay for this!"

Victor Freeze peered at him from behind the glass globe that separated him from the world. The red of his goggles were piercing...and cold. Static flinched despite himself.

"Perhaps." Mr. Freeze intoned. "But neither you nor your companion will be alive to see it."

"Victor, no!" Fraust stepped between them. "Please. T-they helped me when no one e-else would."

Freeze stopped. They all watched as his emotionless face calculated.

"...Very well." He said with a logic as cold as he was. "They helped you once. Now they shall help you again." He looked at Static and Starfire. "You will follow my orders immediately as I specify them. You will not argue. You will not disobey. For this I will free you. Do you agree?"

Static glared-

"Yes." Starfire whispered.

"Star-!"

"And you." Freeze pointed at Static. "Do you agree?"

Static grit his teeth. He looked at Starfire who gazed back.

"I..."

"Virgil, please..."

"Yes." Static forced out before he could change his mind. "I...do."

Freeze's facial expression never changed.

"Wise decision."


	65. Hornet's Nest 9

**CRKKK!**

**CRKK-KKK!**

At the mouth of the cave, Static and Starfire are shattered free from their restraints by the mechanically strong arms of the suited Mr. Freeze. So overcome with their frigid conditions, they can only kneel and shiver as the Gothamite villain affixes a metal wristband to each Titan.

"**Here,"** Freeze's voice electronically drones. **"These devices will keep you from trying to escape our presence. I designed them myself. If either of you so much as leave a fifty-foot radius from my power suit, the bands will emit a biological shock that shall reduce the two of you immobile… …if not dead."** He turns and marches his way towards where a nervous-looking Fraust stands in the sunlight. **"But, of course, what is death but an absence of futile warmth?"**

Starfire's teeth chatters. Static looks up, his breath visible as he murmurs: "Wh-Wh-Why are you d-doing this?"

Fraust bites her lip. She looks up at her foster father.

Mister Freeze stops besides her. With a whirring sound, he raises a metal arm and gently strokes a few of her bangs. **"There was a time when I would swear that I had no tears to shed. My pain over the loss of my beautiful wife had totally encompassed me. I have since become a monster that no exorcism can cure, blind to the fact that there are souls in this world far more tormented than me. When fair Amy fell into my life, I understood that I was not the only monster. And like a good beast, only I am so fatefully equipped to seek out and reckon with the heartless, cold demons that roam our lands."**

He turns around and faces them with a glint of his domed, red goggles.

"**Far East of here.. ….Neo H.I.V.E. has a facility. In that facility, many children much like Amy are being tortured and brutalized," **he tightens a gloved hand over a freeze gun. **"Now that Amy and I are reunited, we shall make our way to that hideout. And with your added assistance, we will free these wretched souls. And.. …we will KILL everyone responsible who gets in our way."**

"So th-that's why you've imprisoned us.. …," Static hisses. "To add some muscle to your murder?" He frowns. "I think **not**. We won't cooperate."

Mr. Freeze doesn't even bat a red eye. **"We shall see about that. Come, Amy… …"** He marches forward.

Fraust nods and follows after her 'surrogate'. But she pauses at the mouth of the cave. She looks back momentarily.

Static stares at her strangely.

A beat.

Fraust says nothing, but coldly scampers on ahead with a trail of frozen dust.

Static shudders. "G-God, sh-she gives m-me the creeps m-more than he does—" He blinks, startled. For he is suddenly warm. He glances down and sees that Starfire is cupping her hands up against his chest with the tiniest, most minute summoning of a Starbolt. The hot, alien energy does wonders to chase the shivers away.

"It will do us the most good to cooperate with them, Virgil," Starfire says. "In the meantime, at least."

"B-But I don't understand why, Star!" Static says. He momentarily winces: "Well, aside from the whole 'bioshock-armband-click-click-FLASH-you're-dead' thing, but…." He grits his teeth. "Nnngh—That guy is a maniac! He's a Gotham villain, Starfire. A GOTHAM VILLAIN."

"He is a tortured soul, much like Fraust was, I am certain."

"… … …am I getting through to you at all?" Static moans. "Did your internal translator malfunction or something, girl?"

"Truly, I am most adamant," Starfire stares at him an calmly says as they slowly catch up with their captors. "Mister Freeze may truly be a murderous persona. But he has something that can assure us of his downfall in the long run."

"And what in the Hell is that?"

"Fraust… ..," Starfire smiles. "I sense that she is the true fulcrum upon which this instrumentation turns. If we remain close to her, there may yet be a way for us to emerge gloriously victorious from this debacle without any blood shed!"

"Gee, Star… …I dunno.. …..," Static fidgets with his new armband.

"You must be willing to trust me, dearest Virgil," she says. "Even the fiercest warriors back on my home planet—noble or not—fell before the grace of their 'daughters'. There is a limit to the bleeding of every heart. Even the frozen ones."

"Well.. …I'll trust you, then," Static sighs, glances aside, and mutters: "As long as one of us is trustworthy.. …"

"Why, whatever do you mean?"

Static scratches the back of his neck. "I just.. …Kinda sorta feel like I'm the one responsible for the two of us getting in this mess. Robin's going to have my ass with Tobasco sauce for not only freeing Fraust but nearly getting YOU turned into a Popsicle."

"Hehehe.. …Fear not, Static. Every step we take—Guilded or Free—takes us all the more closer to Flaar, and righteous retribution."

"… … ….okay…"

"X'Hal is with us….," Starfire floats ahead. "Now, let us make haste. Or else we may be dealt with the 'shock of the bio'!"

"Erm….Yeah…," Static sees her fly off and lingers momentarily. "Yeesh.. …Ever the enthusiastic one." A beat. A drunken smile briefly splashes across his face: "I k-kinda like that…"

"Virgil! Hasten!"

"C-Coming!" He stops fidgeting with the armband and scampers after her.


	66. Hornet's Nest 10

With no real choice, I held a small fireball over my head to light the cave around us and brought up the rear of our ragtag procession. Robin led the way with a flashlight taken from his omnipotent utility belt. Pulsade, in the middle of the group, provided the best light. She held up a glowing strobe that flashed intense white light a dozen times a second. It made everything look surreal and slow like a scratchy, old timey black and white movie.

I wasn't too happy about walking through a dark, dank cave with folks that, earlier in the day, had been dead set on cracking our skulls. But there was one thing I _was_ thankful for: By design or not, Michael walked directly behind Robin, about as far from me as he could get. The two of us wouldn't be singing campfire songs together any time soon, at least.

Robin surprised me. From what I'd seen and what I heard, he was real hardcore. He was Batman's protege, after all. But minutes after beating them off, he'd allowed a group of...criminals...to join us. Admittedly, the only crime they committed, (that we were aware of), was attacking us. But that was good enough for me.

Maybe Robin had a bit of forgiveness under that badass exterior after all. Or maybe he just considered Mr. Freeze so dangerous that he needed all the help he could get.

I gulped and hoped the first theory was right. Mr. Freeze was a Gothamite. Anyone who tangled with Batman on a regular basis had to be tough...

Then there was Noir, right in from of me. He walked with his head down, trying not to look directly at Pulsade's light. But other than that, he seemed like his usual self. That was Noir for you: He could adapt to just about anything.

And then the one Pulsade and Michael called Simon was in front of Noir. He was a metahuman who could manipulate fire and as bald as the day is long...but he seemed to be the most normal out of his group.

"Simon," I said. If, for no other reason, then to break the silence. "My name's Bard and this is-"

"Noir." Simon finished, never breaking stride and never looking back. "I know who you are. You can only be a Titan for so long and keep your anonymity."

"Heh, imagine that, Noir." I patted him on the back. "We've done gone and got ourselves known. I reckon we're famous now."

Noir smiled nervously at me.

"So is Michael Jackson." Simon threw over his shoulder.

I opened my mouth to reply to that, but then I stopped. I felt a soft gust of warm air. At first I thought I imagined it, but then I felt it again. Only this time, it brought along with it the smells of grass and trees and sunshine. I smiled. The way out was just ahead. In my eagerness to get out of the cave I tried to hurry along the pace, but everyone in front of me moseyed along at the same old pace.

After what seemed like an eternity, we stepped out of the cave in to a sunshine filled clearing surrounded on all sides by trees and bushes. I felt ten times better.

"Phew," I said, letting my fireball dissipate. "I'm happy to get out of that durn cave."

"Our journey isn't over yet." Robin reminded me. "We still have a way to go-"

**KA-CHINKT!**

We all got on guard and looked out at the forest. Noir held Myrkblade at eye level with both hands, smoke escaping between his fingers.

**KA-CHINKT!**

The sound was louder that time, coming closer. Bushes and branches moved and trembled at it came towards us.

"Um..." I blinked. "Anyone wanna go back into the cave?"

"You scared, cowboy?" Michael leered at me.

"Hell. No." I cracked my neck and drew my laser pistol, aiming with my free arm straight across my chest to steady it.

**KA-CHINKT! KACKHINKTKACHINKTKACHINKT!**

They dove out of the thicket like lions. Robots. Over a dozen of them with human-like bodies and silver, metal skin. A few others were cylinder-shaped and floated with laser turrets pointing out of their bodies.

A humanoid robot leaped at Robin. He back flipped out of the way, landed and sprung back at it, his bo-staff whirling.

**WHACK!**

I paced around the clearing, methodically taking out the flying robots.

**ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!**

One of the humanoid robots rushed me from the side. I turned-

**SLASSSSH!**

Noir skidded to a stop with Myrkblade extended. A second late, the robots fell in to halves. We saluted each other and went back to out collective ass-kicking.

**ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!**

**SL-SLASH!**

It seemed like every laser-shooting robot I shot down, two more took their place. I was suddenly on the defensive while the others took care of the humanoid robots. I back stepped until I bumped into someone...Michael. We stood back-to-back, me with my laser pistol and him with his magnum.

**BLAM! BLAM!**

He took out to flying robots and glanced at me over his shoulder.

"You never once thought _I'd_ be watching your back, did ya, cowboy?"

"Yeah...just don't be a Jack McCall to my Wild Bill Hickok."

**ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!**

"Haaaaaa...AH!" Simon pressed his wrists together with his palms out and created a billowing stream of fire. Robin and Pulsade sprinted on either side of it, jumped and side kicked a humanoid robot. The two of them vaulted of the fire, passed in midair and landed on another pair of robots.

They looked up, panting. Michael reloaded his magnum while I covered him. Simon stopped his fiery torment and sweat while Noir blurred to a skidding stop beside me.

And the robots were still coming.


	67. Hornet's Nest 11

Booker hears his own sigh before the end of the shuffling footsteps behind him.

"Professor, Professor, Professor… .. ….," he pauses in his instrumentation and leans back from the bench console. "These frequent interruptions MUST stop…."

"Eh heheheh.. …Oh, but this time, Booker, I am not the one interrupting."

"… ….?" Booker turns to look back at him. And there is a betrayingly gray look to his suspicious eye. Not a second later, he swivels back and flicks a wrist across a switch that summons a miniature video screen to arise from the console bench and flicker forth a security grid layout of the Facility. "Mmmm… …I don't see any disturbance that we need to be aware of. Stop wasting my time—"

"Stop living in your own, precious little world for once, my good man," Chang smiles a hissing breath. He gestures with a plump, gloved hand. "Think a bit more.. ….. …_geographically…. …_"

"… …. ….," Booker flicks his wrist again. The security layout draws out into a map of the region. And—indeed—a series of lights are flickering across a splotch of topography uncomfortably close to the west of the facility. It almost makes Booker stand up from his seat. Almost. "What the devil?"

"They are most adamant on continuing their trip towards this very facility, on the trails of a certain Amy Blendon," Chang speaks with a neary-twinkle in his red goggles. "Or 'Fraust', as you may know her."

Booker's fists clench momentarily… …then relax as he forthwith murmurs: "No matter. Mercenary bands like that are of very little concern to our Headmistress, hence they should be of no concern to us." He returns to his violent, behind-the-glass experimentation. "Let those pathetic rebel-rousers bang their heads against your tin-can security droids. It won't do them many good."

"About these 'them'," Chang pleasantly sneers. "Did I fail to mention that three of them are Titans?"

"Hrmmph… …young blood… …"

"… … …and the other three are Hull, Pulsade, and Silverflare? Former students of yours?"

Booker's fingers stumble on a switch. He pauses. A bead of sweat rolls down his brow in sudden suddenness.

"OH…. …and furthermore," Chang's expression turns bitterly to a frown as he frustratingly growls: "**The other four are a good deal closer. Two MORE Titans.. ….and a certain Victor Fries."**

Booker _finally_ swivels around. He looks at Chang squarely, his lips somewhat agape.

".. … …THE _Fries_?"

Chang nods and folds his arms. "My 'tin cans' are soon to run out, Mister Optimistic. Because… ..a certain bad boyyyy… …spent all of our resourcessss on torturing the Red X and not _heightening the pathetic defenses of this remote laboratory!" _

"… … …"

Booker gazes at Chang. Then he gazes at the video screen once more. For a split second, his eyes jerk towards the smoking Red X in the wirings beyond the glass. And then he swivels again to glare Chang's way. He firmly throats:

"Wake Zillah… .. …**NOW**."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

_**CHIIIIIING!** _

I streak through a line of laser-toting hoverbots. I end in a murking glide with my sword raised up high.

_**SLK-SLK-SLK-SLKKKKKTT!.!.!** _

A beat----**_CLANGGGGG!_** All of the robots fall to pieces.

I let out a breath—

"DOWN, KID!" Simon plows into me and raises a metal gauntlet in time to block the onslaught of a giant walker droid with cannons a'blazing. **_CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!_** "Dayum!" He sweats while acting as a human shield. "You deaf or somethin'?"

I sweatdrop while pinned under him.

_What's with the compassion all of the sudden? _

As we both scamper away from the clamoring droids, I glance over at Robin and Pulsade who are dueling with a nimble set of robotic assassins at the mouth of the cave.

**_CLANG! CL-CLACK!_** Robin smashes android skulls with his bo-staff and sweats, back to back with Pulsade. "So why are you rogues doing something so heroic for once?.!.?.! I've seen the type of people Fraust works with! Miist.. …Polaar… …Acyd… … ..They have no compassion for their comrades! HIYAA!"

**_CRACK! FL-FLASSSH!_** Pulsade smashes and burns a few hulking automatons with fists of solar fury. "Nnnngh! Those poor sods still left under Booker's control have no hearts left! They are zombies—the whole lot of them! Except—"

"Fraust?"

"HAAA!" Pulsade jumpkicks one robot into another. **SMASH!** She lands, seething, and raises her fists sweatily at more oncoming foes. "She's different! She and all the rest that the madman hasn't gotten to entirely! Not every disaster is so much white or red as it is _gray!_"

"Any reason why this Booker freak would be after someone named Red X?" Robin snarls while spinning around with his bo-staff outstretched. **_CL-CL-CLANG!_** He twirls to a stop in a fighting pose. "Technology? Revenge?" _Th-Thwp-**SMASH!**_ "……pleasure?"

**_CALAAAANG!_** "Who the bloody Hell is Red X?" Pulsade sweats and stands back-to-back with Robin again. ".. …and for that matter, why do you care?"

"Let's just say that if rogues like you three can show compassion today…," Robin tenses at an insurmountable wave of robots circling the two and whips out a fan of birdarangs. _Snkkkt_! "… …then so can I."

"Well, if that isn't the bee's knees…."

"Right," Robin prepares to toss his projectiles—

**_POW! P-P-POW!_** Half of the wave of robots is graciously obliterated by gunfire before his masked eyes.

Robin pants, and glances aside.

Bard salutes him, twirling a pistol.

Robin smirks, salutes back, and charges the remaining droids with a furious Pulsade. "Yaaugh!" "Hiyaaa!"

**_BANG! B-BANG! BANG!_** Hull is unleashing dual pistols' worth of ammunition into a cloud of copter-bots circling him and the cowboy. Shell casings and bullet fragments litter the floor as the robots fall and explode one at a time. _Click!Click!Click!_ Hull cusses, disappears the pistols with a flick of his silver fingers, and produces a shotgun out of midair. _Flash! **Ch-Chtung! BLAM! BLAM!** _

Fragments fall all around Bard who hop-skotches his way frightfully to Hull's side. "Carn sarn it! Watch where you aim that bullseye, slick!"

"Save your sweet talk for when a pot-bellied-pig waltzes in on the fight scene, Howdy-Dipshit!" Hull grins amidst shotgun discharge. _**BLAM! BLAM!** _

"Okay, THAT'S IT!" Bard barely contains himself as he fires at a squadron of hoverbots overhead. "The second we're out of this nuts-and-bolts party, I'm gonna get all High Noon on your ass!"

"You name the caliber bitch!" Hull growls. **BLAM!** "I'll name your burial site!"

"You talk a lot of smack for some bastard child of Keanu Reeves and a Refrigerator!" Bard hisses. "Were your fingers born with them silvery-diamond stuff? Or did you just feel like sticking them up your ass over summer break?"

"Hardy har har—Hey, ass clown!" Hull suddenly twirls around and flicks a flashing wrist at Bard's face. "Special Delivery!"

"Huh?" Bard turns to look—

**_SPLUTTT!_** A paper bag full of dog manure bounces slimily off of the cowboy's head of hair.

"AAAUGH! YOU SONUVA—"

"Hahahaha! I was savin' that for a rainy day!" Hull grins and pumps his shotgun. "How's THAT for a Spaghetti Western, bitch? Ha ha ha!"

_Cl-Clik!_ Bard abandons the fight to aim his pistol dead into Hull's neck. "Have yourself a new mouth to laugh out of, boot-licker—"

**_SWOOOOOSSSSH!_** I suddenly streak in and whistle and wave and dance madly in front of Bard. Panicked. Sweating—

"Whoah-Whoah-Whoah—WAIT, Noirry!" Bard breathes and holds my shoulder steady. "What is it? Is Robin down for the count or… ..some-… … …thing… … …"

**_POUND! _**

****

**_P-POUND! _**

****

_**POUND!** _

Hull and Bard and I look up from within the shadow of a huge, twenty-foot tall robot with its summit reaching the height of the surrounding trees. It is growing and growing as the last remaining robots soar in and pile together to form the conglomerated automaton.

**_WHURRRRRRR-CL-CLANK!_** It aims two bundles of combined laser cannons at all six of us.

I gulp.

Simon leaps in and peers up. "… …." He blinks. "Dayum."

"That's your answer to everything." "That's your answer to everything." Both Hull and Bard drone at the same time, summoning a double-take of confuzzled shock and embarrassment from the two of them.

Pulsade rolls her eyes.

"God, I hate you."

"Who said that?"

"You damn well know who, Fonze."

"Ah. Screw you too."

_**WHURRRRR-POW!.!.!.!** _

"MOVE!" Robin shouts and leads us into a suicide dive.

**FWOOOOOOOMB!**


	68. Hornet's Nest 12

Robin, Noir and I, along with the three bandits, watched as the robots stopped their attack and gathered together. With an electronic whurring and clanking, the robots shifted their metal bodies so that the fit together like some kind of deadly puzzle from Tron. Steam released as the pieces locked into each other and the shape started to take form.

The robot towered high above us with a face that was covered with row after row of red, electronic eyes. The arms ended with two giant clappers and laser turrets were mounted on both shoulders. Instead of legs, the thing moved around using tank tread. We looked up at it from under the cast of its shadow.

"Dayum!" Simon caught his breath. "It's like...a Lego set from hell, or something!"

"I wish you'd stop saying that..."

The robots neck creaked and hissed and it's rows of eyes peered down at us. The laser turrets on its shoulder shifted.

"Out of the way!"

**ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!**

We all danced and scattered out of the way. The lasers followed Robin's acrobatics, leaving most of us in the clear.

"Hey, Noir!" I called forward to him. "Batter up!"

Noir looked over his shoulder at me and nodded. He held Myrkblade and crouched down, funneling smoke into his legs. I ran towards his back, whipping my guitar around to the front.

**FWOOSH!**

Noir leaped high into the air just as I hit my knees and slid to the spot he'd just been. I leaned back as far as I could to where my guitar pointed to the heavens. I ran my hand over the strings.

**BRING!**

A ball of ice shot up into the air. Noir spun, gripped Myrkblade and smacked it at the robot like a baseball. The ice ball smashed into one of the robots red blinking eyes.

**BRING!**

A fireball shot up, considerably smaller than the ice projectile that proceeded it.

**THWACK!**

Noir spun and smacked that one, too. It flew through the air and exploded against the robot's chest.

**BRING!**

I sent up a bolt of lightening with my last strum. It hit Myrkblade and intermingled with smoke. Noir held the blade straight out in front of him. Smoke and lightening burst out of it like a beam and destroyed one of the robot's shoulder turrets.

Gravity finally came back into play. I stood and repositioned my guitar on my back as Noir descended. I crouched down and Noir landed in my clasped hands. With a grunt, I heaved him at the robot's face. Then I turned, called up the wind song and flew after him.

**SLASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH!**

Noir dragged his sword across the robot's chest, cleaving a long gash. He flipped and blurred down the robot's arm as it tried to retaliate. With that distraction, I had a free shot.

"HAH!"

**WHAM!**

I jammed my metal-covered fist into one of its eyes, sending sparks everywhere.

**WHAP!**

The robot's giant head jabbed forward and smashed into me. I clenched myself as I fell, trying to hum the wind song-

**SWOOSH!**

Robin caught me as he swooped by on his grappling hook. Even as he dropped me close to the ground, he whipped out three exploding birdarangs and chucked them at the robot.

**B-B-BOOM!**

The landed just in front of the robot and he ran over them with his tank tread. Smoke started to billow out and grass caught on fire.

"Yeah! Now we're talking!" Simon held out his hands and absorbed the fire. Then he flung a pillar a dozen times stronger the robot's way as he strafed to the side.

**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!**

Michael cursed as his magnum shots bounced off the robot's armor. He ran at it from the side, turned the gun into a sword and stabbed it into the guts of the tank treads. The robot rolled jerkily backward.

Meanwhile, Pulsade ran along a broad tree branch. She jumped from it to the robot's shoulder and then to the top of it's head. She leaped down just in front of the remaining electrical eyes.

"Here's the light at the end of the bloody tunnel!"

**FLASH!**

The eyes beeped crazily, the black 'pupils' moving crazily to find a target.

Pulsade landed in a kneel.

"Simon! Finish it!"

"Heheheh! Thought you'd never ask!"

Simon planted his feet wide and held out his hands. He closes his eyes in concentration. His brow creased. Sweat poured down his face as the air around him grew noticeably hotter.

I looked at him nervously.

**FWOOSH!**

A geyser of red flame erupted underneath the robot, sending it sky high.

"Everybody down!" Robin turned and covered himself with his cape.

The rest of us hit the dirt.

The robot landed.

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

Metal shrapnel exploded outwards and smoked clogged the air.

After I was through coughing, I looked around at the metal debris of what was once the robot. I smirked.

"Looks like-"

"No one gives a damn about your woodshed." Michael droned as he walked by.

I glared at his back and crossed my arms on my chest as Noir stepped up to me. I looked over at him.

"That's not what I was gonna say, you know."

Noir shrugged.

"Seriously!"

Noir rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.

"Psssh. Turncoat."

ZZZZZZZZZZ

"I warned you they were coming." I said as I climbed out of the chamber. "Did you plan nothing?"

Booked sneered at me.

"Don't forget yourself, little girl. I'm the one that gives the orders."

"..."

"Now go deal with them. This place cannot be found." He turned, pushed a control panel and walked a pair of sliding doors.

I looked after him for a moment before turning away. Then I steeled myself and pointed across the room.

**ZHHHHHTT!**

I regained my breath as three assorted characters stood across the room from me, looking around in confusion.

"Gizmo. Mammoth. Kyd Wikkyd. If you wish to become a part of Neo HIVE, now is the time to prove it."

I turned away from them and pulled out a cell phone. I hit the speed dial and-

"It's Zillah. We have work to do, Flaar."


	69. Suffer the Little Children 1

"… … …," Static makes a face. Eyebrow raised, he turns and glances over his shoulder as he and Starfire trudge along. He sees nothing but open forest. And yet, a trace of uncertainty hangs off his lips. "I thought I heard explosions.. … .."

**"Titans,"** Mister Freeze's electronic voice warbles from ahead. **"It would be most frugal for you to keep up with our pace."**

Static grumbles. "Yeah, Yeah… …ya bigass ice cube, we're comin'.. …" He jogs a bit and joins Starfire's side. The alien girl is fidgeting slightly with her armband as he mutters to her: "God, how I hate these Gotham creeps. They're always an annoying combination of 'psychotic' and 'intelligent'. Especially Mister Clean Under Glass that we've got manhandling us here…"

"Shhh.. ….," Starfire whispers, motioning with her scarlet head towards the marching Fraust. "Dearest Virgil, do you see what I see?"

"… … …. …an emo blonde chick with icicles for lingerie?"

"She has not said a word since our present captor has taken advantage of the journey."

"So? Star, she's always been quiet! She's freaky like that."

"No.. ….No, it is not the same now," Starfire murmurs. "At first, I thought she was simply relieved to be once again in the presence of her 'adoptive father'. But her silence is not quite of the tranquil sort. There is still something flustering her countenance.. …"

"I frankly can't tell the difference!" Static shrugs. He then points: "And quite frankly, girl, I think you're overdoing this whole 'empathic alien chick' thing!"

"Hmmm?"

"First Flaar, then Fraust… .. …next thing we know, you'll be massaging Victor Fries' toes!… ….brrrrr-rrrr….."

Starfire smiles and utters gently in a low voice: "Am I the only one of generous qualities presently?"

"…. .. ….h-huh?"

"You have been most adamant, Virgil, in assisting me in my important quest. You have facilitated the use of Fraust. You have accompanied me through the wilderness. You have braved caves and frostbite and now the presence of one of the most notorious villains in this hemisphere. And yet you still maintain an air of enthusiasm and vitality that renders my soul to keep on fighting."

"Erm….eheh….," Static blushes slightly and scratches the back of his neck. "If y-you say so…"

Starfire takes a deep breath. "I do not know what p-peril truly awaits us. But I have full faith that you and I are more than qualified to meet whatever demands this debacle may bring. I would not have such faith if it were not for you."

"Well, it's not so hard to—erm….—be 'faithful' for you, Starfire."

"Oh?"

"Cuz….well….you're **Starfire**… ….Ya know?"

"… … …. …"

Static sighs. "I'm not making anymore sense. Not even to me," he glances around the claustrophobic forest and frowns. "There's gotta be some friggin' way out of this mess."

"On the contrary, Virgil, I suggest that we make further recreation of this event…"

Static blinks. "…. … …. You mean 'play along'?" He whispers.

"Mmmhmmm," she nods…then floats forward a space so that she is directly behind Fraust. "Uhm, Hello? I presume your name of true titleage is 'Amy'?"

"… …. ….," Fraust keeps walking.

Static winces, but Starfire persists in speaking to the fiendette: "Please, Amy. We know in firm reality as you do that any attempt we might make at escape right now would be utter futility. So please do not be so swift to ignore the words I have to graciously give you. I merely wish to know what it was that brought you to such a point of rogue existence."

Static bites his lip. "Watch the way you whack your words around, Star—"

"But, Virgil! I am merely attempting to engage on conv—"

"It is of v-very little importance h-how I am ontologically arranged," Fraust murmurs. She does not look back or so much as move her head as she marches forward and throats: "I am that which I am now, and th-that is as important as anything needs to be."

"Kind of an uneventful philosophy," Static smirks.

Starfire momentarily ignores him and floats along the ice maiden's side. "But surely, you have a past? A family?" She smiles. "Or at least the memories of such?"

"My family is m-more than obvious… ….," she utters, this time with an air of bitterness as she traces the shadow of Mister Freeze's cybernetic suit. "There is nothing l-left to discuss."

"… ….. …," Starfire hangs her head in mid-hover. A beat. "… …. …I am looking for someone.. …. ….Someone very mysterious to me, and yet strangely familiar all the same. For I sensed a warmth in him that spoke to me. A warmth that spoke of pain and desperation. A warmth that needed something hotter to melt the seams away." Starfire looks up with healthy eyes and a healthier, soft smile. "As of late—with the help of another warm soul—I have gotten so gloriously close to helping this person I am concerned about…"

Static cranes his neck at that, listening in.

Starfire continues to Fraust: "But more importantly, I am beginning to learn that it is a cold soul that speaks volumes to me all the same. I see that there is a lot of pain in you, Amy. But I sense that there is much hope too. Hope for healing. Even if that hope is being silenced—perhaps by a desperate will to fight back all distrust with the bitterness that has long been taught to you—"

"Pain is the only reality.. …," Fraust blurts. A puff of cold steam emits from her lips. "Sorrow.. …the only certainty."

"…. …. …."

Fraust glances with glazed sapphire eyes towards the villain ahead. "Victor… …he has been my only aide. He has… …helped me… …He has h-helped me oh, so much.. …"

Starfire breathes: "But, has he **healed** you?"

Fraust is silent. Dead silent.

Static bites his lip.

Starfire leans forward: "Dearest Amy, do you not think it is time that you looked into--?"

**GRIP!** Mister Freeze hoists Starfire away from Amy by the arm. "**That is enough."**

"Hey!" Static frowns and runs up with both hands charging up—Zzzzt! "Let go of her, you anus-popsicle!"

**"Save your strength,"** Mister Freeze redly glares from beyond his dome.

"Why the Hell should I?"

"Because we are here…," Fraust murmurs.

Static blinks. "Huh?"

Mister Freeze steps aside with Starfire just as Fraust walks up, rounds the nearest hill, and stands above a ditch leading into a broad, silver door.

The Mouth into the Neo H.I.V.E. laboratory… …. …

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Soldiers are running frantically through the hallways of the H.I.V.E. facility.

Security personnel are whisking instruments back and forth, barricading the doors and equipping the walls with gun turrets and laser cannons and taser rifles and all other manners of security devices.

Professor Chang is furiously, hissingly directing the orchestration of such a defense matrix. He waves his arms wildly and waddles about the chaotic interior.

Booker is stressed. Preoccupied. He scoops mounds of equipment into a cardboard box and strips his instrument benches clean of all his experimental gear. Sweating, he glances with twitching eyes beyond the glass where… …

… ….Red X is still 'crucified' to the wires and electrical grid of the torture chamber. His suited body heaves. His masked face rolls about. He tilts his cranium up and glares through a single eyeslit towards the tormentor beyond the glass.

Booker curses silently to himself: 'Damn that kid. How does that suit get **open**?' Booker shudders. 'The Headmistress will have my genitalia on a platter.. … ..blasted experiments.. ….'

All the while, a line of 'drafted' H.I.V.E. operatives stand along the corridor. Mammoth, Gizmo, and Kyd Wikkyd. They gaze back and forth as the intensity of the facility's emergency defense rises and rises.

"Yeesh! What's such the barfin' deal?" squeals a putrid, bald kid in a jetpack.

"Ergh.. …rumor is that Mister Freeze is payin' this place a visit."

"Freeze? HA! The Snowman from Gotham?" Gizmo's pixel eyes twitch as he wrings his tiny hands. "This will be a cakewalk! I can't wait to dig my fingers into his tech! I've always wanted to freeze half the ocean!"

"Just leave some meat on his bones for me.. …," Mammoth grumbles and slouches over. "I swear I haven't eaten a bite since that stupid Brain-Tube-Man got us all in the slammer!"

"Serves you right for making Jinx run off!"

"Hey! I didn't make the witch run off! That was Mister Speedy Kid—Or whatever his lousy name is!"

"Same scum-bucketin' difference, poop-for-brains!"

"…. ….. ….," Kyd Wikkyd glances silently at them. "… … …." He looks aside toward their leader, Zillah.

"I don't care how far away you are! Get here!" she growls into her cell phone.

Silence.

"No, I **CAN'T** port you over because I spent all my energy getting those worthless wretches from out East! You know, the former High-Five punks?"

Silence.

"We are NOT breaking Acyd and company out of jail! Not YET!"

"Hey! Zillah!" Gizmo flails around in his hoverpack. He grins psychotically: "Why're you callin' in the cavalry?"

"Yeah! Hah hah!" Mammoth howls. "We're just fightin' some oversized ice cube in a Diving Suit!"

Zillah sneers at them. "That's only the half of it, you whiny brats! **Five Titans are hot on their trail!"**

Gizmo and Mammoth freeze in mid-grin…. ….until soon their jaws are dropping and even sooner they are flailing about on the floor of the underground facility. "OhcrapOhcrapOhcrapOhcrapNOTAGAIN!"

"… … ….," Kyd Wikkyd merely sighs and adjusts his cape.

Zillah frowns, and returns hotly to her phone: "Just come in and do a number on the creeps from outside until we are ready to reverse the ambush on them from within!"

"SNkkt—But are you sure that the Titans and these other strangers are working TOGETHER?"

"What difference does it make?"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Flaar flies in from the East, his red braided hair billowing in the wind.

He snarls into a headpiece as he blurs downward towards he forest in the waning sunsetlight. "It makes a LOT of difference, Z! You were't THERE at the frigate when I saw all of my partners bite the bullet on behalf of the Titans! And now that they've got greater numbers with this psychonut from Gotham and these other haunts from Neo H.I.V.E.'s past, how do we know that they won't just repeat hist—"

Flaar freezes in midair.

--or more appropriately, he melts.

A shudder runs through him, and it forces him to glance directly downward.

And he sees her.

Hovering alongside an African American hero with goggles, a blonde of icy blue aura, and a robotic fiend with a freezing gun.

All approaching the metal entrance to the underground facility with proper menace.

Flaar takes a deep breath and charges his eyes a hot green.

"Time to hang up, Z… …," the young boy murmurs and turns his hands into fists. "It's high time for a forest fire…."


	70. Suffer the Little Children 2

Fraust and Mr. Freeze continued on their way to Neo HIVE's secret facility with Static and Starfire as their semi-willing captives. Fraust and Freeze had said nothing since the last exchange. Static had tried to talk to Starfire, but the alien girl was lost in her own world. Giving up, Static fell to silence as well.

Suddenly, Starfire stopped. Freeze, taking no heed, continued on. Fraust glanced back quickly, but didn't abate her pace. Static stopped and turned back.

"Starfire! What-?"

"I feel it."

Static looked at her sideways.

"Um...feel what?"

"The heat of a Tammaranian. Flaar is close by."

Static looked at the trees around them.

"I don't see-" He looked up. "Star! Look out!" He dove into her side and the two of them rolled away as an alien missile swooshed by them.

**BOOOOOMM!**

Dirt and dust flew up into the air like a bomb had gone off. A pair of glowing green eyes pierced through the dust and, a moment later, Flaar stepped out of crater he'd made and through the debris.

"Flaar!" Starfire exclaimed. "I've been look-"

"Hah!"

**ZAF! ZAF! ZAF!**

ZZZZZZZZZZ

I inputed the code into the control panel mounted on the wall and stepped through sliding doors. Inside were both Chang and Booker seated in front of a large control panel. I walked up behind them.

"I've gathered some help to turn back-"

I stopped when I saw past the two eccentric men. They were watching black and white screens from security cameras mounted in and around the facility. One screen showed Mr. Freeze and Amy...Fraust...walking through the forest very close. Another, showing a place a little further off, showed Robin's group heading this way. Jonny was with them.

The last screen was hard to make out, because it would flash over and over again. I made out three figures. I finally recognized one. Flaar.

"They're too close." Chang decided. "Do something, Booker!"

"Calm down, 'bad boy'. I'm activating the security cannons."

"You can't do that!" I told them. "Flaar is still out there! Those cannons will target anything."

"Then perhaps he should have responded to your summons faster, hm?" Chang cackled. His face turned serious. "The boy is not more important than this facility. Priorities must be kept in order."

Booker looked away indifferently.

"But-"

"Don't you have a job to do?"

"..."

I turned on my heel and walked out.

TTTTTTTTTT

**ZAF! ZAF! ZAF! ZAF!**

Static ran, hopped up on his magnetized disc and flew away. Starfire strafed to the side, just above the ground as star bolts exploded around her.

"Flaar! Please listen to me!"

The alien boy swooped at her, his red braid flapping behind him.

**WHAM!**

Static, on his disc, plowed into him from the side. Turning towards the distraction, Flaar laced his fist together and sent Static spinning to the earth.

"Ooof!" Static bounced and shook his head.

"Virgil!"

Flaar flew high into the air, just above the treetops. His hands glowed green as he readied another downpour of star bolts. But then he stopped and they flickered out. He turned to the north, looking in the direction of the facility-

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

"AUGH!"

Flaar fell limply from the sky, his body smoking from the incredible cannon shot. Starfire moved to catch him-

**ZRRRRRTTT!**

Mr. Freeze lowered his ice pistol. A moment later, covered in ice from the neck down, Flaar smacked into the ground. Starfire, her face tight with concern, flew over and knelt beside him.

"Flaar! Are you-" She stopped when, deep in the ice, she saw a green glow.

She gasped.

**ZAF! CHINNGGGG!**

The ice exploded, flinging her back like a rag doll. Static caught her under the arms before she could hit the ground, but Flaar was already in the air, retreating.

"Star! Are you okay?"

"Ugggh...Flaar! I must go after him and-!"

"You must do nothing but obey me." Mr. Freeze's electronic voice told her. He turned and started off again as if nothing of consequence had happened.

"But..."

"C'mon, Star." Static urged her. "I have a feeling both Flaar and us are going to the same place."

Starfire looked longingly up at the sky, but finally nodded.

"O-of course. Let us go, Virgil."


	71. Suffer the Little Children 3

He flies a spiraling mid-air 'limp'.

Sooner than later, he plummets once again towards the forest canopy.

He grits his teeth, winces in a wave of pain, and yet manages to recover his bearings at the last second to properly nestle himself upon an overstretched branch twenty feet from the ground.

He practically hangs over the leaves, panting. Shivering.

He rubs his shoulders and bare arms.. …trying to fight back the cold still rocketing through him from Mr. Freeze's gun.

"Nnngh.. …" He shudders. He tries to light a starbolt and 'warm himself' with it.

But he pauses during the administration.

"… … … …?"

He raises his starbolting hand up. He waves it around and around until it is aimed in the direction from which he flew.

Towards the last place he saw **_her_**.

And the starbolt intensifies. _Warms. _

He takes a deep breath.

"Her again.. …"

Silence.

The Sun melts down into the horizon.

The sky is a dying red.

".. …why do I keep running into her?"

He gulps. He hugs himself for a brief moment of fragility.

"… …damn it to Hell.. ….I can't keep doing this.. ….I can't.. …."

_"Snkkkt--!"_ His headpiece crackles. _"Flaar! This is Booker! You are ordered to reengage the enemy!" _

"… ….," Flaar frowns. His fist tightens.

_"SNkkkt—Follow through, STUDENT!" _

Flaar's fists relax.

"This is Flaar," he murmurs, louder and louder into a growl. "I do concur. Coming around again."

He holds his breath, summons up a pulse of hot green energy, and soars straight up into the air.

****

_**PHWOOOOMB!** _

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

My black eyes notice a conspicuous streak of hot green in the air.

I tilt up and look towards the sky.

I spot an emerald comet of person rocketing towards the evening horizon.

I gasp, whistle, and point.

Bard is the only one receptive enough to notice. "The Hell—Whoah!" He turns and waves at our leader. "Boss man! Take a gander! You reckon that's Starfire--?"

"It's not Starfire."

I blink. So does Bard.

"How do you know?"

"I know," Robin mutters. He runs up, perches on a high tree branch, and scouts out the landscape ahead.

"Hey Boy Wonder! What do your elf eyes see?" Hull smirks.

"We are sooooo throwing you in the brig after this," Bard grumbles.

"Yeah?.?.?" Simon tosses bits and pieces of metal debris out of his way. "I'd love to see you try, buttmunch!"

"SHHH! Shut your yaps!" Pulsade hisses, then turns to Robin. "Got a fix on just where that flying chap is meandering off to?

"Due East of here," Robin says. "But that's all I can make out. And it doesn't say much."

"Well, use the communicator to bear down on Starfire's blip!" Bard gestures.

"Can't."

"Why not?" Hull asks.

"There're over a dozen different communication signals interrupting my connection to Starfire," Robin speaks. "Which means at least one good thing. We're practically on top of the H.I.V.E. Facility, undoubtedly."

"But where is it exactly?"

"That's the hard part…," Robin mutters. "Without an exact bearing, we're not going to catch up to Mister Freeze and NOBODY will be freeing anyone tonight."

"Well, let's see what the tin cans had to say!" Simon smirks and smashes his hand deep into the chest of a shattered Robot. **_CRUNNNCH!_** "Someone with an awfully big antenna sent them here. Most likely there's got to be a return protocol!"

"Oh come on!" Bard cackles. "Do you REALLY think something that absurd would be thrown right in front of our eyes—"

"Here it is!" Simon whips out a tiny black box full of circuitry from the robot guts.

"… …. …well **dayum**," Bard drones.

Simon raises an eyebrow.

"We're still nowhere," Pulsade walks up. "At least, nowhere without actually getting a chance to hack into that gizmo-rubbish and get the exact location of the facility. And I've gotta confess, I'm not all that good at such a practice."

"But I am," Robin grabs the box from Simon. "Give me a good ten minutes, and I'll have the necessary data loose."

"You think that's fast enough, man?" Bard looks towards the setting sun. "It feels wyrd like things are coming down all wrong-like. For once, I'm not all that keen on the sunset…"

"What if we sent a scout out?" Hull gestures. "To sniff out the jerks and distract them in time for the rest of us to follow suit?"

"Like bloody Hell!" Pulsade growls. "We can't split up! As much as I'd love to be free of some of these Titan stiff-necks."

"Heheh," Hull pointed. "She said 'stiff'."

Bard merely glares.

Robin attaches the black box to a tiny data pad in his utility belt and starts to hack away. "Besides, how would we keep open communication?"

It hits me.

I don't know how, but it hits me.

It's not something I fancy myself having a gift for.

But…

Becoming a good Titan is all about impromptu genius, verdad?

I wave wildly and gesture to Bard.

He looks at me.

I hand-sign and hand-sign and hand-sign.

He smirks. He looks at Robin: "He's got—"

"—an idea?" Robin moans. "Why do I get the feeling that whenever Noir opens his nonexistent mouth, it's only to do something drastic to the plot?"

I do a double-take at that.

"Yeah! And what's with his pantomime business anyways?" Hull walks up and smirks. "You don't suppose the good cowboy here gives his lungs a good workout overnight or something, huh? Hahahaha—" **WHUMP!** "NNNGG!" _THWUMP!_ Hull collapses on the ground, his legs crossed.

Bard lowers his foot. "Noir reckons he can blur on ahead east and hop from tree-top to tree-top. That way, he can make good distance by the time you hack into that doohickey. Then once we know where to go…" He points at the British Blonde. "—Pulsar or whoever there can send him a light signal in morse code to let 'em know we're coming, or where to meet, or whatever."

"The little guy's fast," Simon nods. "He could level a few heads and get a good bearing on just what Mr. Freeze is up to."

"Noir, this may be dangerous. Are you up to it?"

I nod urgently.

But I hide the nervous knot in my throat….

Bard pats my shoulder. "It's gettin' dark. I know that's your element and jazz, but don't get your head woodchipp'd or nothing, you hear?"

I smile, give him the peace sign, and—

_**FWOOOOOSH!** _

I'm gone, blurring over the hillside.

Bard watches.. …silently.

"… … …"

"C-Can someone h-help me find my balls?"

"You're on your own, Michael…," Pulsade swiftly climbs a nearby tree and waits for Robin's signal. "Then again, what else is new?"

"Land sake's alive, I need a cigarette," Bard groans into the palm of his hand.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"We were s-so close.. …," Starfire murmurs as Static helps her down the slope and towards the great, metal door to the facility. "… ..and all he could do was attack me…"

"We'll get another chance, Starfire," Static breathes. "Just keep your head clear. Pay attention. Stay close to me…."

At the last few words, Starfire looks curiously at Static. "V-Virgil?"

"I'll** protect** you," he firmly throats.

"… …. …," she slowly nods. "Understood."

"We are h-here….," Fraust shivers, looking up at the wide, metal doors.

Mr. Freeze comes to an iron stop. "… …**This has been simple. Far too simple**." His red goggles narrow. **"This is not an entrance. Not yet."**

Fraust builds up a blue aura of frozen readiness…

"Then what is it?" Static remarks.

Mr. Freeze frowns. _Cl-Clak!_ He readies his ice pistol. **"A trap." **

_WHURRRRR! _

_WHURRRRRRRR! _

_WHURRRRR! _

**CL-CLANK!**

Over a dozen rotary laser cannons rise up out of the sloping Earth and swivel about to aim at the four metahumans.

They glow a hot red.

Starfire gasps.

Static grits his teeth and summons a bolt of electricity at the last second—

And the cannons fire at the four from all sides.

**_ZAAAAP! _**

****

**_ZAAAAAAAAP! _**

****

_**Z-Z-ZAAAAAP!** _

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Inside the facility…

Booker, Fang….

Gizmo, Mammoth, Kyd Wikkyd… ….

Zillah and the guards all watch the monitors.

As the static images fill up with fire, shrapnel, then pure snow and chaos.

_**SSSSSSTTTTTTTTTT!** _

"Yeah! YEAH!" Gizmo hovers about in jet-thrusting euphoria. "Roasted those gut-munching wyrdos!"

"Hahaha!" Mammoth pumps a fist. "Barbecued freaks! On da house! Hahaha!"

"Hehehehehe!"

"… … …"

Zillah takes a deep breath, her arms folded.

Silent….

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Blurring over the tree tops…

I can't help but freeze…

Perched on a tree branch and breathless.

For a virtual plume of fire is rising up out of the Earth.. …

Centered within the array of red-hot laser cannons.

_**PHWOOOOOOMB!** _

I gulp hard.

_Static.. ….Star…._

_N-No…._


	72. Suffer the Little Children 4

I stood in the clearing with Robin, Pulsade, Simon and Michael as Noir blurred off into the trees. I folded my arms across my chest under my pancho. I tapped my foot and rolled my shoulders. I took a deep breath and put my hand over my eyes as the beeping from Robin's electronic work started to grate on me.

"What's wrong with you, cowboy?"

I moved my hand and saw Pulsade's British face looking up at me.

I grunted.

"I'm just fine and dandy."

"Leaving him alone, Leslie." Michael said to her. "He's just missing his boyfriend."

"Hey!" I stepped forward and showed him my metal-knuckled fist. "You wanna sing tenor again, slick?"

"Quiet!" Robin barked at us, never turning away from that silly black box.

I sighed and folded my arms again.

I hated this. Hated the waiting. The inaction. While Noir and I worked solo, I was used to busting in with guns blazing. We didn't take time to think or plan or strategize. We trusted to instinct and our gut. It had worked out pretty well, I thought.

I looked at Robin, working on that black box. It was a waste of time. Why bother than that when we could find the facility the old fashioned way...by actually _looking for it_.

I was still accustoming myself to the whole team concept. I didn't really like it, to tell the truth. I liked the friends I'd made and the unconventional family that came along with it...But I didn't like having a leader; having someone issue orders down to me. Maybe that's just the gunslinger in me.

I looked out the way Noir had blurred to. I was envious of him at the moment. He was free from the crowd, able to administer justice as he saw fit. I finally couldn't take it anymore.

"Why are you messing with that newfangled thing? Why don't we just go and _look_ for the place. I could do my wind song thing and get a pretty good look at-"

"We decided this was the best way." Robin cut me off.

"Nu-uh. _You_ decided that was the best way. I don't recall-"

"I'm the leader. Deal with it." He continued his work while I glared through his cape.

Michael leaned over beside Simon.

"I'll give you ten to one odds on the cowboy."

"Deal."

I ignored them, turned and stomped off into the woods.

Pulsade glanced at Robin.

"Shouldn't you-"

"He'll be back. Give him his space."

_Damn it._

ZZZZZZZZZZ

**ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!**

Like everyone else, I leaned forward to get a better look at the surveillance screen, trying to peer through the smoke and dust.

"Hahah!" Gizmo laughed gratingly. "Frickin' fartsniffers bit the dust!"

"Barbeque!" Mammoth roared. His stomach growled just as loud. "Mmm. Barbeque..."

I ignored the imbeciles. I watched.

**ZRRRRRT!**

The sound came mostly from the screen beside it, showing the inside of the door they'd been ambushed at. The door crystalized and turned to ice before-

**CHINGGG---CRASH!**

The door shattered into a million pieces. On the far side stood Victor Freeze, along with Amy and the two Titans.

"Blast it!" Chang raged. "They're inside the facility! Zillah-!"

The sliding double doors were already closing behind me.

They sickened me. All of them were intelligent fools...the worst kind of fool there is.

I already knew the facility was lost. Chang wasn't bold enough to defend it and Booker was too much of a coward. It was only a matter of time. But there was still a wild card to be played.

I walked deeper into the doomed facility.

TTTTTTTTTT

Noir blurred from one treetop to the next, a smoky squirrel on a mission while the day died around him. He blurred around the trunk of a tree, materialized and sprint along a broad branch. He jumped off, flipped and landed on a smaller branch further below. He funneled murk into his legs as the tree snapped back against his feet.

He jumped.

**FWOOSH!**

He rocketed out from among the trees like a dark missile and reached for the sky. His body silhouetted by the fading sun, he peered north with black eyes. The large facility stood stark against the wilderness around it.

Gravity resumed. Noir reached the peek of the jump, back flipped and fell horizontally back towards the ground. Back among the trees, he sprinted down the trunk of a tree. Ten feet from the ground, he vaulted, spun and turned to smoke again. He blurred through the trees towards the facility.

The black ghost that was Noir broke out of the trees and into the clearing surrounded the secret facility.

**ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!**

The facility defenses couldn't keep up with him. He zig-zagged twice and headed for the building. He wafted up and through the cracks of a large ventilation fan. He crouched on the narrow ledge inside it, looking down at the building's interior. His black eyes narrowed and he held Myrkblade up with both hands.

**FWOOSH!**

TTTTTTTTTT

"On your guard." Mister Freeze deadpanned. "It seems we are not welcomed here."

A line of HIVE shoulders in yellow armor and helmets pointed laser rifles at them.

"FIRE!"

**ZAPZAPZAPZAPZAPZAPZAPZAP!**

Freeze aimed his ice pistol.

**ZRRRRRRRT!**

An ice wall appeared between them and HIVE soldiers. The laser shots ricocheted, sending the HIVE soldiers scurrying.

"Amateurs..." He hissed.

With a wave of his hand, he led Fraust, Starfire and Static deeper into the facility.

TTTTTTTTTT

**ZAPZAPZAPZAPZAPZAP!**

**CL-CL-CL-CL-CLANK!**

Noir whirled Myrkblade in front of him, repelling the laser shots of the HIVE soldiers.

"There!"

A dozen more soldiers ran in from a higher floor, taking up position on a catwalk to aim down at him.

**FWOOSH!**

He blurred to the side. He ran up a stack of crates, jumped and grabbed hold of a chain hanging from the ceiling. He arced out far and ran along the wall until he reached the catwalk. He vaulted and ran down the narrow guardrail, Myrkblade dragging at his side.

**SL-SL-SL-SL-SLASH!**

He blurred to a stop and turned back to the HIVE soldiers on the catwalk with him. The soldiers immediately turned and aimed at him, only to find their barrels cleaved in to.

On the ground floor, a HIVE soldier larger than the rest hefted a rocket launcher on his back. He put his eyes to the sight and aimed at Noir's back.

**WHAM!**

I drove my metal fist into his gut. With a gasp, he bent over and dropped the rocket launcher into the my hands. I turned, swung it like a golf club and uppercutted him under the chin with it. I tossed it down to the floor beside the downed soldier and looked up at Noir on the catwalk.

"Can't believe you started with out me, Noir!"

Noir waved.

**CL-CL-CL-CLAINK!**

The metal floor buckled and slid away on the far side of the room. And up out of it came a solder sitting behind a huge cannon. I started to turn-

**KABOOOOM!**

**FWOOSH!**

Noir blurred and shoved me out of the way. The cannon shot sailed by helplessly and exploded a huge hole in the wall behind us. I peered through it and saw-

"Noir! C'mon!" I jumped up and ran for the hole with lasers burning through the air. I jumped through the hole into the adjoining room. Noir blurred to a stop beside me.

"Freeze!" I blinked. "I mean...Stop!"

Mister Freeze peered back at us, along with Fraust, Starfire and-

"Bard? Noir?" Virgil stared at us. "What are you guys doing here?"

"...I was about to ask you the same..."

"This is a waste of time." Freeze decided. He turned to Starfire and Static. "The two of you...delay them."

"Hey!" Virgil raised his fist. "There's no way-"

"You don't have a choice. Fraust, come."

They walked off. I ran after them, but suddenly Starfire was in my way. Static joined beside her.

I looked at them, wide-eyed.

"You working for Freeze now?"

"...It's complicated."

Noir ran up beside me. We looked at each other.

"This is bad..."


	73. Suffer the Little Children 5

**Clang! **

**Clang! **

**Clang! **

**Clang!**

Mister Freeze's armored feet carry him deep into the heart of the facility. He glares forward with unchanging red eyes, his pistol drawn up high in his hand.

Fraust bounds before him, checking every avenue and door and passageway with a fleeting sense of familiarity that drives her forward. "The corridor l-leading into the lower ch-chambers should be close by, Victor… …" She comes to a stop at a huge, guilded door. "Here!" She rushes up to it. The door doesn't budge. She rungs a pale finger across it and cringes. "It is sealed. Tightly from the other side.. … .."

**"Booker and his cowardly associates are attempting to armor themselves within the core of this place,"** Mister Freeze drones. **"But there is no hope in trying to pass off a death camp as a bunker."** He brushes Fraust aside and increases the frequency of his gun as he aims at the door. **"No matter, I shall provide us a necessary route to the heart of this hideout."**

_"Not so fast, Popsicle pooper!" _

Fraust turns her head and glances down the hallway.

Gizmo and a barrage of yellow-armored soldiers are standing in the corridor. Weapons and grenades are armed and aimed at the two intruders. Gizmo—in particular—has elected to erect his metal-arachnid limbs and is crawling his way menacingly towards the two with dual plasma cannons extending from his tech-pack.

"I've got news for ya! The Ice Age was an eon ago! You two are WAY past your rump-sniffin' prime!"

**"Fraust.. …,"** Mr. Freeze boredly murmurs while zapping the wall into frigid ice. **_Zaaaap!_** **"Do take care of them."**

"Yes, Victor," Fraust turns and marches towards the H.I.V.E. defense.

_Whurrrr-Cl-CLAK!_ Gizmo locks his plasma cannons on her. "That's the last step you take, ice princess—"

_FWOOOOSH!_ Fraust runs, jumps, and spreads her limbs. **_CRKK-CRKKK-KKKK!_** Jagged ice armor forms on all angles of her person as she soars murderously into Gizmo's form. _**"HAAAAAAA!"** _

Gizmo's pixeled eyes widen. "HOLY SNIKEY---"

**_CLANG! _**

**  
_ZAP! _**

ZAP!

ZAP!

_**ZAAAAAP!** _

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Bard and I creep together until we are side by side.

I am holding Myrkblade and Bard has his metal-knuckled fists raised.

But neither of us seem ready to strike our opponents.

Especially since our 'opponents' are quite surprisingly—

"Please… …do not misinterpret what it is that we are about to do," Starfire raises her fists with hot, glowing starbolts.

Bard gulps. "Th-That depends. Are we going to both end up in traction over this misinterpretation?"

"Dude…," Static sweatdrops as he readies two sparkling hands of electricity. He speaks in a hushed voice as if some foreboding soul is listening over his shoulder. _"We promise not to hurt you as you promise not to hurt us." _A little bit louder now. "But we've got to make it look and feel like the real deal!"

"Look! Just give us an explanation!" Bard cackles.

In the meantime, I'm squinting my black eyes.

For there is something odd and flashing on the wrist of both of our Titan friends.

Like glowing arm bracelets… … …

"Can you tell us what's going on here?" Bard continues.

"Only that we are in grave danger!" Starfire says.

"Yeah?" Bard blinks. "Of what?"

**_FLASH!_** A starbolt slaps him dead-on in the stomach.

"OOF!"

He flies back into a yellow wall of the H.I.V.E. Academy.

_WHAM! _

I gasp and blur by his side to check on him.

"Snkkkt---" Bard winces, rubbing his tummy. "And she said _she_ was in 'danger'."

"Yo, we're really.. …REALLY sorry about this!" Static winces and zooms at us on his metal disc. **_ZZZZZZT!.!.!_** He fires a spray of electricity at us.

"Noir! Move!" Bard shouts and shoves me—

_**FLASSSH!** _

Combined starbolts and electrical chains impact the wall behind us.

Bard rolls to the side.

I glide in a low crouch. Panting.

**_FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!_** Starfire flings her starbolts straight at me.

I grit my teeth, channel smoke into my legs, and backflip in the nick of time—

**_P-P-P-POWWW!_** The floor below me explodes in starbolt craters.

I twirl about and land on the wall, hanging with one hand off of a disabled gun turret. I pant and look up as the normally-_friendly_ Starfire soars up and around and dives at me.

Again, I squint my eyes.

And again.. …I see the bracelet on her wrist. But with every movement she makes in offense against me.. ….

… … …the bracelet glows less.

I purse my lips.

_Wait a second….. _

**_FLASSSSSSSH!_** A huge starbolt sails at me.

I wince. _Ackies!_ I kick off the wall with a burst of smoke. _FWOOOOSH! _

Starfire turns about with a pained expression on her face and launches another barrage at me. _**FL-FL-FL-FL-FLASSH!** _

Twirling upside down, I swing Myrkblade like mad and deflect the green projectiles. _**CL-CL-CL-CLANG!** _

I land in a slide and sweat all over. But I can't help but think….

_Starfire… …_

_She's making it easy for me…. …_

_She's a veteran, and I'm a novice._

_Certainly she would have wasted me by now if she could! _

_**FLASH!** _

**CLANG!** I deflect her last shot and blur to run away from her.

_Starfire's sparing me._

_Because she doesn't really want to fight me._

_The bracelets.. …._

_I wonder if Static's has something to do with it too… … …?_

I glance across the corridor—

**_ZZZT!.!.!.! ZZZZZZT!_** Static soars around Bard, tossing ropes of electrical fury at the flick of a wrist.

"Hey—HEY!" Bard jumps, ducks, and dodges. "I thought you weren't for real, man!'

"This is as much for REAL as I've got to be!" Static grunts and squints through his reflective goggles as he zaps, zaps, zaps from the flying disc. "Now do something badass and knock me out or somethin'!"

"What?" Bard ducks and rolls to the side. Panting. "Static, I can't punch you!"

"Do it!" Static zooms after him with a huge bolt of chain lightning summoned. "Punch me right in the face! Make it quick!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Why not?"

"Because….Because—"

_**ZZZZT!** _

"Dah! B-Because it wouldn't look good!"

"Do you not SEE the 'death bolts' of frickin' lightning I'm launching at yo ass?"

"I see them! But I still ain't hittin' you in the face!"

**_ZTTT!_** "Why not?"

"BECAUSE!" Bard skids to a stop with fists clenched. "IT JUST DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT TO BE TO BEATIN' ON A BLACK MAN!"

Static hovers to a complete stop. He blinks. "…. …whoah, dude. Really?"

**_CHIIIIING!_** Static is cut short as a wave of frozen energy encases his whole body. He falls down hard to the ground—**_SHATTTTER!_** "OOF!" He sprawls out on the floor.

Bard lowers his hand, finishing a humming tune. "… …gotcha." He turns and looks my way. "Noirry, man, you need a ha---?"

**_WHAM!_** Starfire tosses me into Bard's side.

"DAAUGH!" Bard grunts as I collapse down on top of him.

"EEP!" Starfire holds her hands over her mouth. "Oh! Friends! I am most exceedingly sorry!" She hovers in dismay.

Bard groans and I stir uncomfortably.

"I am so… …soooo confused right about now."

But the longer that Starfire levitates inactively… …. …the brighter and hotter her armband begins to strobe. _Wrii-Wrii-Wrii!_ She gasps at the sight of it.

A near unconscious Static stirs on the floor and notices his own bracelet warbling. _Wrii-Wrii-Wrii!_ He winces. "Sonuva…."

"No! Do not desist!" Starfire charges both of her eyes hotly and stares at us. "I am most exceedingly sorry but we must continue this impromptu scuffle!"

"Starfire," Bard climbs up to his feet. "Just tell us what to---"

**_ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!_** Two green trails of fire soar at us.

"AAAUGH!" Bard flinches.

I grit my teeth and angle up Myrkblade in such a way as to deflect both optic beams.

**_CLAAAAAANG!_** The hot emerald fury bounces off the murk and slams into the golden walls. **_CRAAAAACK!_** The corridor shakes. The ceiling begins to crumble and rain down fragments of tile on top of us.

I dash aside with Bard, covering our heads, and whistle before gesturing to the bracelets on our comrades hands.

"Yeah, I know!" Bard shouts above the tumult. "But what the Hell you reckon WE can do about us?"

I hand-sign fervently.

"No I DON'T know a magic music spell for 'undressing'!" Bard snaps. "If I did, you'd see me around the Titan's Girls' lockerroom with a massage chair and a can of V8!"

**_ZZZZZT!_** A bolt knocks Bard down on his butt.. …again.

"DAMMIT!"

I wince and look ahead.

Static hobbles to his feet. His bracelet is glowing less and less with every offensive administration of his superpowers. "L-Look.. ….we gotta think up a plan before these things blow us to smithereens."

"Is that wh-what they're gonna do?" Bard wheezes.

"Virgil is right…," Starfire hovers behind us and readies two fists full of starbolts. "We have less than ten seconds to deliberate before battle must be rejoined!"

Bard climbs to his feet. "Well have you considered taking them off?"

"They're bolted shut!"

"Well, smarty-pants! Use your electrical energy to short circuit them!"

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"I need a charge three times as intense than what I can generate at a split-second's notice!"

"Well, have you even tried?"

"Do I **look** like I want us to turn into two charred barbecued Titans?"

"X'Hal! Virgil! The bracelets!"

_Wrii! Wrii! Wrii! _

"Wait! I've got an idea!" Bard waves his arm. "Uhm…attack Noir for a second."

_Hey! _

_**ZZZZZZT! ZZZZT! ZZZT!** _

_**FLASH! FLASH!** _

I snarl mutely, twirl about in a murking cyclone, and madly deflect the dual electrical shocks and starbolt orbs with a madly swinging Myrkblade. **_CLANG! CL-CLANG! _**I grind to a stop, panting.

"There," Static pants as his and Starfire's bracelets dim. "Now talk!"

I turn and glare at Bard. _Could have warned me! _

"Static! Do the biggest gosh-darn electrical spitwad that you can and aim at me when I give you the signal!"

"What's that going to do?"

"Trust me! I'm gonna… ..I dunno… …'high-fry' them shackles and ten Noir can quickly whip them off you and toss them to kingdom come!"

"And what if it doesn't work?"

"Hey, I aim to get an A-plus for this assignment!"

"Eeek! The bracelets! The bracelets!"

"Noir!"

**_ZZZZT! _**

_**FLASH! FLASH!** _

_Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh!.!.!.! _

_**CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!** _

"… ….Okay—Static! Get charged up!"

"All right, cowboy. This had better work," Virgil raises his arms high.

I stare at him, panting….smoking….

A huge, blue orb dances above Static's head. Fluctuating. Warbling. Growing….

"Concentrate, Virgil….," Starfire whispers. "You can do it. I know you can…"

I glance at Starfire. "… …." Then at Static. "… …" Then back at the earnest-looking Starfire again.

_What's up with them? _

"Nnnnnngh!" Static sweats as he charges one helluva sphere of electrical chaos. "Godddd this is bringing back memories of middle school! Nnnnngh!"

"Just keep it up, fella," Bard whips out his guitar and starts strumming it. In a deep country voice, he sings: _"'G men T men revuners, too. Searching for the place where they made his brew'." _

The corridor shakes with the intensity of the electrical storm.

It starts to get steaming hot.

I sweat… ..eyeing the bracelets as they begin to strobe and cook like mad on our dear friends' wrists….

_"'They were lookin' tryin' to book'im',"_ Bard sings and strums. _"'…but my daddy kept on cooking….'"_ Suddenly he tilts his head up. "NOW, STATIC!"

"Nnnnnnghh**YAAAAUGH!"** Static tosses the energy bolt straight at Bard.

And the cowboy finishes the lyrics with a well-timed guitar twang: _"'Pssshhhhhh..**white lightning'!.!.!.!"** _

**_ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTT!.!.!.!.!_** Bard's entire guitar absorbs the electrical insanity. The wooden instrument glows a hot, fiery blue. It is so bright and blinding that I have to look my black eyes away.

Bard grits his teeth, raises the guitar ceiling-ward by the neck, and then whirls it around like a lightning rod / wizard's cane. "YEEEE-**HAAAA!" **

**_KRAK-KOWWWWW!.!.!.!_** A forking beam of blue lightning sails out and soars hotly into each of the armbands on our friends' wrists.

"Whoah!"

"Eeek!"

**_ZZZZZZZZZT!_** The bracelets flicker, jolt… …and short-circuit. _CLICK!_ Half a second later, they've both snapped open.

"Now, Noir!" Bard points.

I snap out of it, blink my eyes back to the fuzzy world, and blur straight at Starfire first—

_Wriii-Wrii-Wriii!_ **Snatch!**

_Fw-Fwooosh!_ And then towards Static.

**_Wrii-Wrii-Wrii! _****Snatch!**

I have both madly-glowing armbands in my grasp. I breathe, heave, twirl around in a cyclone of smoke, and toss the two shackles straight down the length of the hallway.

_Swooooosh! **WRII-WRII-WRII-WRII! KABOOOOO-OOOOM!**_ Both bracelets explode in giant green splashes of bioelectric meltdown.

"HELL YEAH!" Bard pumps his fist and hangs his guitar proudly behind his back. "Lord Almighty Aphrodite! How about some George Jones for your tease?"

I exhale with a weak smile until Bard slaps me brotherly on the back.

"Man, that's off the chaiiiiin," Static gestures. A beat. "Erm, you didn't hear me say that."

"Whatever, sparky."

"Virgil! Hee hee heee!" Starfire zooms over and explosively hugs Static, much to my and Bard's blinking amazement. "We made it! We are freeeee! Hehehe!"

"Erm—Heheh---Hell yeah, Star," Static hugs her back. "Man, that went way better than expected, didn't it—?"

_WHURRRR-SCHALACK! _

"—oh shit."

"Huh?" Starfire turns and looks.

Bard and I turn and face the freshly opened doorway.

"…. .. …..," the Boy Wonder stands. Staring.

"R-Robin!" Starfire exclaims, in Static's arms.

Static sweatdrops.

"… ….," Robin drones. "Get down."

Static does a double-take. "Wh-Who… …Wh-What—"

"I said **GET DOWN!"** Robin runs and plows into _both_ Static and Starfire.

Just in time—

**_BLAM! BLAM! BL-BLAM! _**

_**BLAM!** _

A hail of bulletfire sails in above the three as three dozen H.I.V.E. guards storm into the electrically-fried corridor. Simon, Hull, and Pulsade are doing their best to fight the horde of henchmen off while Chang is sending dozens of hoverbots flying down on the scene with weapons blazing. Then, from the sidelines, Mammoth charges in with giant metal bulkheads being swung at the metaheroes like virtual clubs and a phantom Kyd Wikkyd teleports amidst the fray.

_**ZAAAAAAAAAP!** _

I turn pale and glance up at Bard.

Bard takes a breath and twirls out his laser pistol. "Well… …Woodshed 2.0. I can do that."

**_POW! _**

**_POW! _**

**_P-POW! _**

_**BLAMMMM!** _

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Zillah is creeping through the hallway.

Into the lofty laboratory facing a windowed chamber.

She shuffles up to a workbench and peers through the translucent glass.

A wounded, panting Red X hangs ever-so-torturously in the wirings of the experimental chamber beyond the pane.

A near-mischievous curve alights the dark girl's lips.

"If I'm to ditch this pressure cooker… ….why should I ditch it **alone**?" That said, her hands deftly reach for the 'release' lever on the experiment console—

_**FLAAAAAAA-AAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAASSSSSSH!** _

A green field of energy shimmers into Zillah's body from behind.

"AAAAAAAA-HAAAAAAAAAUGH!" She screams and twitches all over before falling painfully to her knees.

Behind her, a figure marches up with metal mech-braces enhancing his upper and lower limbs. **_WHURRR-CLINK! CA-CLINK! CA-CLINK!_** Booker, aptly suited, aims a cannon extended from his arm brace and renders the dark girl paralyzed with the violent green disruption field.

His lips curve for the first time in weeks.

"Well, if it isn't the obstinate little rat… …," he slurs. "For once… ..I have a student **worth** tormenting…."


	74. Suffer the Little Children 6

**ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!**

I paced to the side, taking potshots with my laser pistol.

"Robin!" I yelled over the ruckus of the battle. "Finally get tired of playing with your supped up remote control and decide to join us?"

Robin vaulted off one hand and, upside down, flung a trio of birdarangs. He landed and gave me a steely glance.

"We'll discuss that later." I wasn't sure if that was a promise or a threat. "But for now...Titans, go!"

Noir ran forward immediately, twirling Myrkblade at an impossible angle to deflect the laser rifle shots.

**CL-CL-CLANK!**

In a blur of smoke, he slide through a HIVE soldier's legs, vaulted, turned and cracked him over the head with his sword.

Meanwhile, Simon was contemplating.

"He said 'Titans, go'. Does that mean us, too?"

"Just fight, you twat!" Pulsade refracted light and turned invisible.

Michael smirked and held up his magnum.

**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!**

Static flew at an angle with his disc and smacked the bottom of it against a line of soldiers.

**TH-TH-TH-TH-THUNK!**

"Woo!" He crowed. "Feels good to be fighting on the right side again, baby!"

"Indeed!" Starfire flung star bolts down at the soldiers. She turned suddenly and tossed one right in the face of a soldier who had been sneaking up on her.

Simon had surrounded himself with a ring of fire so that no one could get anywhere close to him.

_Heh...Johnny Cash fan._

Up on the catwalk, a HIVE soldier shouldered his rifle and took careful aim. Behind him was the smallest flicker-

**WHAP!**

Pulsade chopped diagonally at his neck, sending him to the floor. She reached down and picked up the dropped rifle for herself.

A huge HIVE soldier as wide as he was tall stalked Noir with nothing but his bare hands. Noir back stepped slowly, Myrkblade held at ready.

**ZAP!**

An expert laser shot send the blade catapulting out of his hands. It spun through the air and impaled in the side wall.

"Nothing to help you now!" The giant HIVE soldier yelled and dove at Noir.

**FWOOSH!**

Noir teleported through him and kick-vaulted the back of his head. The big soldier turned on him, giving no inclination he had even felt the attack. He smirked and advanced again. He lifted his hand to crush him.

**FWOOSH!**

Noir turned to smoke again and I came barreling through it. I reared back and threw the damndest right hook I had in my. The soldier stumbled to the side, lost his footing and fell to the ground like a downed tree, sliding on his shoulder.

I beamed.

"Pick on someone your own-" I stopped. "Owwwww!" I rubbed my fist, even under the metal knuckle.

Noir snickered breathily.

"Don't you have a sword to go get?"

My friend mock saluted and blurred off.

I turned...and bumped right into a chiseled chest of stone. Apprehensively, I looked up into the brutish, side-burned face of Mammoth.

_...shit._

"Heheheh. You thought _he_ was big?"

He tried to clobber me, but I ducked under the punch and jumped back, already pointing my laser pistol. But the behemoth was faster than I thought. Just as I tensed to pull the trigger, he slammed his shoulder into me like a pro linebacker. I slid across the floor and stopped right at Robin's metal-tipped feet. The Boy Wonder looked down at me.

"Urgh...a little help?"

"I thought you were all about self-reliance?"

"Rrrrrrggahgh!" Mammoth charged at us.

Robin flung and exploding birdarang at his feet.

**BOOM!**

I stood up just as Mammoth was bulling through the smoke.

"Head's up, Robin! I'm gonna serve him up on a platter for ya!"

I pivoted my guitar to my front and played a quick chord. The floor in front of us suddenly had a lane of ice. Mammoth hit it at full speed and, but the time he realized he was sliding, it was too late. He leaned back on his heels and waved his arms frantically, but Robin was already airborne. The Boy Wonder pivoted and descended down with his signature flying side kick.

Mammoth spun like a top in place.

**WHOOSH!**

I catapulted at him with the wind song. I reared back my fist-

**WHAM!**

On the top level, a new group of HIVE soldiers rushed in. Static hopped off his metal disc and magnetized it.

"Starfire! Send me a specialty made star bolt!"

**ZAF!**

Static caught the fiery globe of green energy with the disc and tossed it at the group of soldiers like a frisbee. The lead soldier ducked the projectile, but the others behind him weren't so lucky.

**BOOOM!**

They ragdolled in every direction.

"Hehehe! You got served!"

"Yes! Enjoy your meal of electricity, metal and Tammaranian fury!"

"Eat this!" Simon unleashed a blast of fire.

Kyd Wikkyd sunk into a teleporting hole, unscathed. He reappeared stealthily behind Simon. He sprinted at him.

**SWWWWWW-CHINKT!**

A metal spear pierced the air and embedded itself in to the wall.

**WHAP!**

Kyd Wikkyd smashed into the long handle and hit the floor hard. The spear disappeared in a blue flash and reappeared in Michael's hand as a magnum pistol.

"How long is this gonna last?"

ZZZZZZZZZZ

I shuddered on the metal grating floor as the electricity danced across my nerve endings. I tried to push myself up but couldn't find the strength.

"I have to thank you, girl." Booker said from inside his mechanical suit. "For giving me the excuse to make you one of my children. Ever since I met you, I wanted you to be part of my flock...to hear you scream. It's going to be fun."

I said nothing. I waited for my strength to come back. So I could teleport or-

"What were you doing, anyway?" Booker mused. "Trying to free Red-X? Or my flock? Or maybe you just wanted to save your own skin? But no matter. Now, you are _mine_."

**ZRRRRRRT!**

Booker looked up and started to sweat.

The gilded doors were turning to ice...


	75. Suffer the Little Children 7

_SWOOOOOSSSH! _

Starfire and Static soar overhead, tossing starbolts and electrical beams at a thick cluster of armored troops. **_FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!_**

_BLIPP!_ Pulsade appears in a flicker of light. She cocks the stolen assault rifle in her grasp, kneels, and expertly lets loose with pot shots. _**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!** _

Weapons are knocked out of the grips of multiple henchmen in time for them to take on the full brunt of Bard's fist and Simon's flaming gauntlets. _**WHAM! WHAM!** _

But the meta-heroes swiftly skid to a stop and run in the opposite direction just as a heavy squadron of hoverbots blaze their way with laser cannons blasting.

_**ZAP! ZAP! Z-Z-ZAP!** _

Waddling up with his hands jerking at the controls of a giant remote console, Professor Chang hisses and chuckles with steam-a-plenty. "Eh heheheheheheheh… …" He licks his slimy licks and summons more hoverbots to swarm down upon the intruders. "Fry! Fry like insectsssss. Hehehehe—"

_Swish-Swish-Swish-Swish-**CLANK!**_ A birdarang sails sharply into the console.

"Augh!" Chang drops it and rubs his wrist, glaring through his foggy goggles. "Hey! That isn't fun—Oh, it's you."

_Chiiing!_ Robin produces another fan of birdarangs and approaches the techno-madman, glaring. "I thought you were a meddling crook before, Chang. But being part of this torture/experiment wing? That's low. Even for you."

"Pleeeeease, Boy Wonderrrrr," Chang sneers and shuffles in a circle opposite of the caped crusader. "I'm just part of a mutual enterprise!"

"You tossed Red X into the merciless hands of an organization that has ripped the flesh of helpless youths apart in the name of bastardized science," the Titan leader sneers. "That's not an enterprise. That's a holocaust!"

"Oh pleasssse, I wasn't in it for the bounty of blood, birdy," Chang smirks. "That was all Booker's part of the ballgame! Eheheheh. He got his boys.. ….and **_I_** got my _toys_."

"Tell that to the judge," Robin grunts and readies to swing his projectiles.

"FEH," Chang suddenly frowns and reaches behind his back. "You're nothing but evaporation and feathers!" _Swooosh!_ He whips out a Xenothium cannon and lets loose. "HA!" _**ZAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAP!** _

Robin grunts and leaps the blast. The red stream sails across the battle-ridden corridor and smacks a hapless Mammoth into a crater-forming wall. _CRUNCH! _

"HAHAHAHA!" Chang cackles and traces the red-blasting energy beam after Robin.

The Boy Wonder sprints, sprints, sprints, and dives across the corridor.

"NNNGH!" Chang cocks his rifle one more time and aims at a wall of CO2 canisters right where the Titan lands—

_**KABLAAAAM!** _

Cold mist and steam billows up across the space.

Chang jolts back, wheezes, coughs, then exhales in a lasting chuckle. "Eheheheheheh… … …that should give you quite the cold snap! Hehehe----" He pauses. Blinks under his goggles. And peers up. "… … …"

Robin dangles overhead by a grappling hook embedded into the ceiling. _Snkkkt!_ He extends his bo-staff.

"Ohhhh phooey," Chang mutters.

_Thwoooosh!_ Robin drops straight down. "HAAAAAAAUGH!" He swings the staff straight across Chang's goggled face.

**WHACK!**

Meanwhile, across the corridor…

**_BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!_** Hull fires magnums into the defense system, shattering cannon turrets apart and sending flame and debris flying every which way. _**BLAM! BLAM!** _

Toward his left, a henchman runs up with a rocket launcher, kneels, aims, and fires—_**SHOOOOOM!** _

The RPG flies straight at Hull.

Hull twirls the magnums, disappears them, flicks his left wrist, and aims a full-spread of silver-tipped fingers at the incoming projectile.

**_FWOOOOOSH-FLASH!_** The rocket soars into his palm and disappears.

Hull lowers his left hand. He turns. He aims his right hand out towards a company of soldiers.

**FLASH!** The rocket reappears and flies on an uninterrupted track into the floor. **_POWWW!.!.!_** The henchmen shriek as they're knocked off and slammed into a nearby wall.

Amidst the flame and chaos, Simon and Pulsade run up.

"As much as I hate to admit this….," Simon rubs his bald head. "…but I'm gettin' bored, dawg."

"Cry me a river."

"Simon's actually going somewhere with this.. ….," Pulsade grunts while firing pot-shots into the crowd. **_BLAM! BLAM!_** "The Teen Twits may be content with throttlin' these lads till they can be throttled no more, but we've got to beat the frozen duo to the children!"

"Not to mention talk some sense into our resident ice princess," Hull says as he produces a shotgun and wards off a hoverbot or two. **_POW! POW!_** Ch-Chtung! "Just what's gotten into Amy these days? Polar Menstrual Syndrome?"

"Bro, that ain't even worth it on Letterman."

"Oh go smoke a screwdriver."

"BOTH OF YOU!" Pulsade hisses. "I'm serious! We've got to get our arses in gear!"

"I'm all for it!" Simon clenches his gauntlet'd fists. "Just where did our targets run off to?"

"You're kidding, right?" Hull smirks and starts to march off. "Just follow the ice…"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

_**CRASSSSSSSH!.!.!.!** _

The metal doors explode with a fountain of crumbling ice.

A groaning Gizmo and two dozen henchmen fly into the loft laboratory amidst the frozen chunks. _Th-Th-Th-Thwump! THWUMP! _

Mr. Freeze stands iron-still with his pistol raised. Glaring.

And Fraust….

**_TH-TH-THWISH!_** She twirls in the air, straightens her jagged body of cold-concrete armor, and sails down at Gizmo.

Gizmo—metal spiderlegs sprawling—snaps out of it and glances up. "Wha-Huh?"

**_"RRRRRRGH!"_** Fraust soars sharply down at him.

"AAAACK!" Gizmo fires his rockets—_**PHWOOOOMB!** _

Gizmo soars up and out of the way as Fraust lands hard.

**_CRUNNNNCH!_** A crater forms in the golden floor. Fraust kneels from the impact and looks up, frowning.

**_SHOOOOM!_** Gizmo sails up into the air, legs dangling from his jetpack.

Fraust takes a deep breath, clenches her hands together, summons a blue aura, rears back, jerks forward, and launches a wrist-flicking barrage of dozens upon dozens of tiny, ice daggers. _Sw-Sw-Sw-Sw-Sw-Sw-Swissssssssssssh! _

"Oh no you don't--!" Gizmo grunts and jerks at his pack's controls. _WHURRRRRRRRRRR!_ His legs spin like a giant buzz saw around his puny person and deflect the myriad of projectiles. **_CL-CL-CL-CL-CL-CLAKKK!_** He hovers forward and readies a plasma launcher. _Cl-Clackka! **PHOOM! PHOOM! PH-HOOM!** _

Fraust grunts, readies a frozen shield, and strafes across the floor. **_CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!_** She deflects the plasma attacks and dodges behind a table full of chemicals in time to avoid the brunt of Gizmo's pursuing offense. _CRASSSSH! **VROOOOM!** _

All of this, Booker watches in breathless shock. He has paused in his painful attack on Zillah, watching the metahuman battle before him with rapidly aging eyes.

**Clang! **

**Clang! **

**Clang!**

He glances up an to the side—

**GRIP!**

"Snnnkkkt-Snkkkkt!" Booker wheezes. His braced legs and arms twitch as he's suddenly strangle-held in the iron grip of Mr. Freeze.

The Gothamite raises the man up to his domed face. **"… … …"** He glares with stern, red eyes. **"You shall release the children or I shall release your bodily organs."**

"I…. …w-will.. ….d-do…. …n-no such…..thing….," Booker hacks and snarls. Dangling. "The.. …Headmistress needs.. …th-them.. …for the.. …snkkkt—EXPERIMENT…."

**"What experiment, you insidious oaf?"** Mr. Freeze drones. **"The same torturous marathon you put the poor Amy through?"**

_Th-THWUMP!_ Mr. Freeze tosses the man to the ground.

Booker coughs, spits, and raises a braced wrist to his neck. He sneers up at the towering metahuman. "Jesus Christ, Fries! You're one to talk! We should be on the same side! We are both scientists who don't fear the blacker arts!"

**"Do not even attempt to compare me to you,"** Freeze points. **"You are a man of violence, Booker. I am a man of vengeance. And as such…"** He sneers and raises a cybernetic arm. **"… …I shall now deliver you the night of cold silence…"**

Booker frowns and tightens his limbs—

_THWOOOOSH!_ Mister Freeze slams his fist down.

**_CLAMP!_** Booker's hand grabs Freeze's knuckles and holds the fist in place.

Freeze's pale brow furrows.

Booker shakes. Fumes. "They…. …." _WHURRRRRRR!_ He pushes Freeze's grip up and stands chest-to-chest with him, grappling. "…. ….are MY CHILDREN!.!.!" _WHURRRRR!_ His metal braces roar to life and he wrestles the cold Gothamite against the walls and consoles of the laboratory. _Clang! Whump! Whang!_ "RAAAAUGH!"

**"Nnnngh!"**

And Zillah…

Zillah starts to stir….

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

**_FL-FL-FL-FLASSSSSH!_** Starfire launches a starbolt storm at a line of gun-toting soldiers. The soldiers dodge and fire back with laser blasters. Static hovers besides Starfire and creates an electrical shield to absorb the lasers while Starfire stretches over him and launches another volley.

Bard and Robin are fighting back to back, surrounded by hoverbots being leveled by pistol shot and birdarang by the second.

Mammoth charges in and springs upon the cowboy and Titan Leader, leading into a threeway battle of colossal proportions.

I see it from a mound of debris, where I am finishing a slicing kill of two robot gun turrets. **_SLASSSH! SL-SLASSSSH!_** I kick the smoldering metal bits away, take a deep breath, and blur towards my two Titan partners—

_**THRIMPFT!** _

A pair of calm, red eyes rise up in my path.

I gasp and skid to a stop before the closing portal, blinking.

"… …. …." Kyd Wikkyd stares at me.

"… … …" I stare at Kyd Wikkyd.

"… … …" Kyd Wikkyd stares at me.

"… …. …" I stare at Kyd Wikkyd.

"… … … " Kyd Wikkyd stares at me.

I blink again. I bite my lip.

_Okaaaaay… …._

_Well…. _

I twirl Myrkblade, brace my legs, and swing hard at his skull. _SWISSSSH! _

**_THRIMPFT!_** He disappears.

I gasp and flail from my empty swing.

_Whoah! _

**_THRIMPFT!_** He rises up from a portal behind me and shoves me in the butt with his foot.

**_WHAM!_** I slam against a wall, wincing.

A mute snarl.

I spin around and swing Myrkblade diagonally upward.

_SWOOOSH!_

**_THRIMPFT!_** He's suddenly to my right side, yanking at my arm.

_WH-WHOOOSH!_ I somersault awkwardly from his pull and collapse on my back like an overturned turtle. _WH-WHAM! _

I cough and wheeze.

_Darn it all! _

I stumble to my knees—

**_THRIMPFT!_** He appears in front of me—

I am already swinging a furious fist at his face.

He sidesteps, calmly unfurls his cape and reaches two hands up to grip my shoulder.

**_THRIMPFT!_** A dizzy sensation, and then I realize that I'm upside and on the ceiling in his teleported grasp.

…and he lets go.

_Thwooosh! _

_DAAAH! _

**_WHAM!_** I land chest-first fifteen feet below on the floor.

I wince and sting all over, my black eyes watering slightly.

**_THRIMPFT!_** I sense him standing over me now.

I shudder….shake…and push-up. I grit and grind my teeth. My black eyes reopen, frothing violently with murk and smoke.

_Allright, stupid-head… … _

Kyd Wikkyd raises his boot to smash over my head—

**_SLASSSSSSH!_** I leap up with an uppercut of Myrkblade.

_Swisssssh!_ Kyd Wikkyd effortlessly slides back.

_P-Plant!_ I'm on my feet. _Stomp-Stomp-Stomp-Stomp!_ I'm running towards him. I twirl, twirl, twirl Myrkblade and hold it like a javelin before—**_SWISSSSSSSH!_** I launch it towards him.

He flinches and jerks to the side—

_SWISSSSSH!_ Myrkblade screams through the air past him.

He stands back up with fists raised—but does a double-take to see me gone.

**_FWOOOSH!_** I teleport murkily behind him and raise my hand. **GRIP!** I grab Myrkblade in mid-flight, swing it around, and slam him across the skull.

_**WHACK!** _

Kyd Wikkyd stumbled forward—

**_FWOOOSH!_** I teleport in front of him, twirl, and swing my sword—

_**WHACKKK!** _

Kyd Wikkyd flies back—

**_FWOOOSH!_** I solidify behind him in mid-swing.

_**WHACKKK!** _

Kyd Wikkyd is knocked airborne—

**_FWOOOSH!_** I appear above him. _**WHACK!** _

He falls—

**_FWOOOSH!_** I appear beneath him. _**WHACK!** _

He flails and flails and—

_**FWOOOSH! WHACK! FWOOOSH! WHACK! FWOOSH! WHACK!** _

I teleport, solidify, murk, port, and blur all over and around him with my obsidian sword swinging, flashing, streaking, striking—

_**WHACK-WHACK-WHACK-WHACK-WHACKKKK!** _

Bruised, dazed, and reeling, Kyd Wikkyd flies upward one last time—

**_FWOOOSH!_** I teleport one last time on the ceiling and ready my sword like a bat.

_**WHAMMMM!.!.!** _

_That's how you do it, you peace of fluff! _

_Fwoooooosh!_ The teleporter plunges to the ground and lands in a veritable crater in the debris-laden floor. **CLANG!**

_I don't feel like I'm done yet. _

Snarling, I twirl Myrkblade, propel murk through my ankles, and pulse down towards him in a suicidal dive. _FWOOOOOSH!_ I stretch my blade down ahead of me.

Kyd Wikkyd, dazed, snaps out of it. Looks directly up. And stretches his arms out.. …frothing all over in a portal—

My black eyes widen.

_Ah snap— _

**_THRIMPFFFT!_** He grabs me and the two of us teleport suddenly to God-knows-where.

Which elicits a well-defined gasp from Bard in witness of my disappearing act.

"Ah jeez! Noir!"

**_GRIP!_** Mammoth grabs the cowboy by his pancho. "Hey! I ain't done playing piñata, tweedle-dee!"

**_SMACKKK!_** Bard whallops the H.I.V.E. student to the ground with a guitar to the face. "Well, El Kabong is, tweedle-dum." Bard spits and runs over to the spot where I've disappeared. "Noir? NOIR!" He spins around, furious. "Damn!"

Robin finishes handcuffing the dazed Mammoth and runs across the fray to join Bard. "What's wrong?"

"That mime in a Batman holloween suit just whisked away with my pal!"

Robin sweatdrops. "He's not the only one missing."

Bard spins around, eyes squinting Eastwoodesquely. "The Hell did our friends go?"

"I don't know, but it's high time we caught up with where the rest of the party's going," Robin readied a fan of explosive discs and launched them into a random spot on the floor.

_Swisssssssssh-**BOOM!**_ A hole opens up in the floor. Robin whips out a grappling hook and runs towards it.

"I'm going in! Hold the fort here!"

"Like Hell, I will!" Bard punches his palm. "Static and Starfire have got these henchmen covered! In case you haven't noticed, they make a great team!"

"… … … …"

"Bossman--?"

**"YES**," Robin grunts. "I've **noticed**."

Bard helplessly sweatdrops.

"I am going down there to investigate Mister Freeze and the facility ALONE," Robin spits and points an angry finger. "And if you so much as disobey me again today, Bard, so help me God I'll—"

"Shhh," Bard raises a finger. "… ….you hear that?"

"… … ….hear what?"

"Like a bomb dropping."

"…. … ….yeah…."

_Swissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssh--- _

Bard and Robin turn to look.

_**SWISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH!** _

_**SMASSSSH-POWWWWWWWWWW!.!.!.!.!.!** _

Flaar body-slams down through two levels of Earth and lands in a massive, flame-erupting crater of green fury.

Bard and Robin shriek as they're tossed down the hole as one.

Henchmen and guards flail about as if in zero g.

Static and Starfire gasp and sprawl to the floor, with the latter looking up through a mat of tangled red hair and shuddering:

"F-Flaar?"

Flaar slowly stands up, glares up, and hisses while charging two fists of burning emerald. "Everyone.. … …prepare to **burn**."


	76. Suffer the Little Children 8

"Holy-!"

Robin and I fell through the hole Vegeta...I mean Flaar...made with his fiery green entrance. Robin flipped and landed with a soft grunt in a graceful crouch. I feel much less ceremony.

**THUMP!**

I pushed myself up to my hands and knees and spit out dust. I stood and looked back up at the hole above us. Star bolts, lasers and electricity arced over it so quickly it looked liked some insane battle from Star Wars...not that I liked Star Wars.

I brushed myself off.

"I reckon we ain't got time for a time out, huh?" I bent my knees slightly, ready to hum the wind song.

"Wait a minute." Robin raised his gloved hand. "This is the opportunity we've been looking for to go deeper into the facility."

"But..." I mulled it over. "What about Static and Starfire? Don't they need our help?"

"They'll be fine." When he saw I was unconvinced, he added: "Don't you want to find Noir?"

I folded my arms across my chest.

"...This team thing is complicated."

"No it isn't." Robin disagreed. "You just make it that way. Come on."

He gestured and started off down the pipe-lined hallway. I glanced up at the hole above one last time before falling in behind him. Steam seeped from some of the pipes, making the hallway hazy in the distance, but Robin walked on confidently.

"Where do you think Noir is?"

"He was fighting Kyd Wikkyd. A teleporter. I'm sure he took him somewhere else for their fight. I doubt they've left the facility, though."

"Kyd Wikkyd..." My mind wrapped around the chaotic memories of the fight above. "The guy that looks like you in a Batman outfit?"

Robin glanced at me from the corner of his eye mask.

"I'm not _that_ skinny...but yes. He's a member of the HIVE Five, along with Mammoth. It seems they've aligned themselves with Neo HIVE. Strange."

I blinked.

"It ain't _that_ strange. _HIVE_ Five. Neo _HIVE_. I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I see just a bit of a connection there."

"It's complicated." Robin shook his head. "The HIVE Mammoth and Kyd Wikkyd originated from isn't the HIVE that exists now."

"Huh...I'll take you word for it."

"I'll give you the reports to read over when we get back to the tower."

I made a sour face. I drawled:

"...Woo doggy."

"I thought your line would be 'yee-haw'."

"I only used that for special occasions."

We continued down the hallway.

ZZZZZZZZZZ

The trembling of my body slowed and the electricity dancing inside me started to dissipate. The pain began to subside and I felt my strength starting to return. I weakly pushed myself up to my knees and raised my head.

Gizmo cursed infantly, hovering backwards with his jet pack and returning fire as he dodged Amy's...Fraust's blasts of ice.

Even more dangerous was Booker and Mister Freeze, both in mechanical suits, grappling powerfully. Mister Freeze had Booker pinned against the control panel and smashed down at him with his fist, but he only succeeded in destroying the device below him. Electricity sparked and and sparks flared up as they grappled again.

Further up in the facility, I could hear explosions that shook the walls.

Everything was chaos.

Everything was going to hell.

I stood and stumbled deeper into the complex, away from the fighting.

"Zillah!" Booker thundered. He reached for me, but Mister Freeze grabbed him in a neck vice from behind.

"We are not yet finished."

I stared deadpan at Booker...before releasing my best dimpled smile. I waved and, with a charming flit of my robe, turned my back on his and walked away. Booker snarled like a crazed animal, but Victor Freeze held tight.

I suddenly stopped and looked up at the ceiling. I jumped to the side just as two figures plummeted out of a black teleporting hole.

**FWOOSH!**

Kyd Wikkyd and Jo-...Bard's friend descended in a blur of smoke, limbs, cape and sword. Noir, falling from above, gather smoke into his blade and aimed it like a projectile.

**FWOMB!**

A funnel of smoke shot down from the sword's tip. Kyd Wikkyd dodged barely and the attack shook the ground and left a large crater. I stumbled backwards.

Both of them landed on the ground. Noir held his sword up at eye level while Kyd Wikkyd stood calmly with his hands clasped under his cape. They charged each other.

**THRIMPFT!**

Kyd Wikkyd teleported behind his opponent and charged at his back.

**FWOOSH!**

Noir turned to smoke and Kyd Wikkyd ran right through him. Noir slashed at him with his sword, but he jumped back out of range. They squared off again.

"Wikkyd!" I called. "There no time for this!"

Kyd Wikkyd turned to me just as Noir was blurring in. He leaped and reared back his sword for a massive blow.

**ZH-ZHHHT!**

The weapon cut nothing but air.


	77. SUffer the Little Children 9

_**SLASSSSSH! **_

Myrkblade slashes nakedly through the air.

I gasp, spiral, and fall on my fanny.

_Th-Thwump! _

I wince all over.

_Owie.. …. _

I leap up to my feet in a blur and twirl about, panting. Gulping.

"… .. …."

_Where did the little magician shrimp go?_

_And that shadowy girl?_

I bite my lip.

_Yikes, just how many wyrdos are mixed in with this fight anyways? _

"Nnnnngh!" a man's voice shouts.

I turn to look.

A scientist in a metal-mech bodysuit is being tossed around by a rather iconographic image of villainy. The unmistakable Mr. Freeze snarls electronically from within the domed confines of his suit and tosses the hapless H.I.V.E. member through a metal wall.

**_"RAAAAUGH!" _**

**_CRASSSSSSSH!.!.! _**

The metal door caves in and shatters. Mister Freeze stretches his cybernetic limbs, and marches through. **Clang! Clang! Clang! **

I blink. Before I can move—

_Swooooosh!_ A munchkin on a jet pack is tossed mercilessly into the wall before me. _**CLANK!**_ "Unnnngh… …," the bald-headed meta-fiend falls unconscious. A trail of cold mist leads towards the opposite side of the room where a conspicuous maiden of ice stands with both wrists extended. Covered in frozen icicles of armor.

I do a double-take, gasping.

_It's her!_

_The girl from the frigate… …the penitentiary! _

She pants.. …pants.. ….pants…. … … ….then looks from the fallen technogeek towards me. Her glare fades away, and I see something almost…

_Remorseful?_

_Sorry?_

_Painful? _

My lips purse as I lean my head to the side.

_THIS is the 'abductor' of Static and Starfire? _

She fidgets. She swivels around and runs into the hallway after Mr. Freeze. "V-Victor! Wait for me!"

I snap out of it. I twirl Myrkblade and blur into action to give chase—

But at a single sight of what lies beyond the glass windows of the laboratory, I freeze.

Gasping.

Black eyes wide, I swivel about and run straight towards the pane. I press against the fogged surface and peer through. Breathless.

"… … …."

_Red X…… …. _

The suited rogue in question dangles in a bundle of electrified wires. Heaving painfully. Struggling for breath and fading with a dim red glow.

I feel a lump in my throat.

I glance down the hallway where the two frozen fiends have ventured. "… .. …." I clench my fists, turn towards the glass, and ready a murk-laden blade to swing against it like a club.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Fraust sprints down the hallway.

Panting… …

Trailing cold mist.

The image of the marching Mr. Freeze lingers far ahead, approaching the final security doors to the student holding cells.

"V-Victor!" She pants, waving. She starts to pick up speed—

**_Swisssssh! _**

An automatic door slides open. Three figures step out and immediately block the path in front of her.

Fraust gasps and slides to a stop. Her blue eyes are wide. "Y-You!"

Pulsade gently holds her hands up. "Amy.. …Love.. ….You don't need to run anymore."

"We're here, babe," Simon says with a nervous smile. "No more running, kay?"

"I.. …I-I must help V-Victor," Fraust murmurs, craning her neck to look over them—

"I know the kids have got to be saved," Pulsade says. She shakes her blonde head gently. "But not like this. You can't trust a freak from Gotham for too long."

"B-But.. …But Victor saved me!"

"Yo! So did we, girl!"

"I-I trust him!" Fraust charges up a bright beam of cold energy and marches through them. "I-I've got to stick by his side—"

Pulsade glances over at Hull.

Hull whistles innocently, flicks his wrist, produces a miniature tear-gas grenade, and tosses it into Fraust's arms. "Here. Catch."

"H-Huh?" Fraust glances down at the smoking object in her grasp.. … …and then her eyes roll back in her pale head. She falls back, only to be caught by Simon's strong arms.

Simon glares at Hull.

Hull shrugs with a smirk. "What? Works on every chick in Beverly Hills!"

"You're a bloody wanker," Pulsade murmurs. "But I still need you."

Hull produces a shotgun. "Delinquent-Saving-Time?"

Pulsade nods. "Righto." She looks at Simon. "Get her out of here safely."

"What about Robin and the others?" Simon asks.

Pulsade gives him a blank stare, then cackles: "What about the sods? So they helped us get into H.I.V.E.! We can help ourselves get out without them!"

Simon nods with a smirk and a wink. "Gotcha. And good luck, y'all," he runs out with an unconscious Amy draped in his arms.

Pulsade clenches her fists in a flash of bright light and charges down the hall after Freeze. "Well… ..all's well that bloody ends well. Stick by my side, mate."

He runs alongside her. "Heh.. ..knew I'd drag you out on a date someday, Leslie."

"Oh bug off."

The two jog their way down the winding hallway.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

**_FLASH! FL-FLASSSH! FLASH! _**

A pure wave of starbolts sail across the ruined hallway in emerald oblivion. Static and Starfire are running for their lives. Static hops behind a mound of debris and shields himself for dear life. Starfire pants for breath, veers around, avoids midair projectiles of green flame, and hovers upright to face her opponent across the way.

"X'Hal… …," she murmurs to herself.

Flaar hovers across from her. Seething. Literally dripping with emerald flames of fury off his petite figure as he hovers, sneers, and charges another wave of energy.

"Please!" Starfire clasps her hands together and begs in earnest. "Do not attack us! Do you not see that we are on a mission of peace and deliverance?"

_**"NNNNGH!"**_ Flaar snarls and flings a hot sphere at her. **_FWOOOOOSH! _**

Starfire gasps and crosses her arms in time to absorb most of the blast. She 'slides back' in midair as ashes splash all around the floor and walls of the smoldering hallway.

Static's jacket catches fire from the sparks. He gasps, slaps it out, and blurts: "I don't think he's all that keen on listenin' to ya, Star!"

"Please… …," Starfire pleads. Almost too quietly for her opponent to hear her. "You m-must hear me out.. …."

"You invade my home-away-from-home.. ….you attack my closest teamates… …you assault my mentor.. ….," Flaar tosses his braids back and flares his eyes a hot green as he snarls through clenched teeth: "And you DARE rely on the cowardice of diplomacy?.?.?"

"At least tell me your name--!" Starfire begins, but gasps as she finds herself having to duck a hot stream of starbolt energy flailing over her head.

**_FLASSSSSSSSSSH! _**

"Nnnngh!" Starfire soars down, plants her feet against the floor of the facility, and springs forward like a Titan Missile. _FWOOOOOSH! _

_**WHAM!**_ She plows into the belly of Flaar.

"OOOF!" He grunts just milliseconds before they shatter their way through a wall.

_**CRUNNNCH!**_ A hole forms.

Static pants, peers his head up around the debris, and looks helplessly from afar.

In the meantime, Starfire and Flaar are wrestling in a utility room. Rolling across the floor. Knuckle to knuckle. Elbow to elbow. Glaring eyes to glaring eyes.

"Nnnnngh!" Flaar struggles, hissing.

Starfire pants and looks at him in earnest: "Please! Do you now feel the heat? The fire that is melting within you? You are battling your own kind! This was not meant to be!"

"Get…. …Away.. ….FROM ME!" Flaar kicks his legs up.

_**WH-WHAMMM!**_ Starfire is flung against the ceiling. She spreads against the surface, wincing. A green glow. She opens her eyes. "H-Huh?"

Flaar is summoning a brilliant starbolt in two hands. He snarls, yells, and unleashes the hot 'cannonball' skyward. **_FLAAAAASH! _**

"Eeek!" Starfire flits out of the way.

_**POWWW!**_ The ceiling partially caves in.

Flaar covers himself, flinching. He opens his furious eyes, and glances around for the missing Titan—

"Haaaugh!"

He spins.

Starfire is sailing straight at him with a huge metal wrack of tools in her grasp. The span of the room.

_SWOOOOOSH-**WHANGGGG!**_ She pins Flaar up against the wall with the metal cobweb.

"Nnngh! Mmmnngh!" He struggles and fights against the metal skeleton.

Starfire presses it against him harder. Forcing her masterful strength down on him. "I do not wish to battle you any further! I have come to save you! There is a better life to live than in this torment!"

"Nnngh—Shut up!" Flaar growls.

"You can know more than agony and despair!" Starfire says, her eyes nearly tearing in compassion. "Please. You have been bruised by the evil hands of villainy. Allow my companions and I to give you a second chance! You have at your disposal the glory of true friendship!"

"My only friends… …," Flaar hisses as a deep, boiling green energy erupts from within him. ".. ….are **fear** and **HATRED!**" _**Vrommmmmmmm!**_ He charges an emerald aura from within and lets it out in a wave of pure flame. **"AAAAAAUGH!"** **_FLAAAAAAAAASSSSH! _**

Starfire gasps---

_**SHATTTTTTER!.!.!.!**_ The metal wrack flies apart.

Starfire is blown back and slammed into a pile of junk and discarded equipment. She limps for half a second before falling to her knees, panting.

"Nnngh---_**HAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"**_ Flaar howls with an animalistic bloodlust and sails at her. **_ZOOOOOOOM! _**

Starfire looks up.

Her irises shrink in horror.

Flaar's burning fists are sailing into her face.

**_WHAM! SMACK! POW! THWACCKK! CRACKKK! _**

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Outside the utility room…

Static limps across the hallway.

Gripping his shoulder.

He looks on—and freezes as—

_**FLASSSSSSSSSSH!**_ A huge bulb of green energy erupts from within the hidden compartment, followed by the muted, anguished moan of the Tamaranian Titan.

The Dakota hero's lips shudder.

"N-No.. ….Star….."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Robin and Bard charge down the hallway.

Side by side.

"Looks like the ice cubes made some good time!" Bard pants.

"I figure that if we just make it to the students' quarters, we might be able to cut them off!" Robin utters.

"What if the young people here aren't quite so receptive of us?"

"Of the stuff I've seen from this facility thus far…," Robin mutters. "I…d-don't think they'll hesitate to cooperate with us."

Bard's jaw clenches. "Yeah.. …Reckon you're right—"

**_WHURRRRRR! _**

A series of doors ahead of them are sliding shut from the floor-to-the-ceiling.

"Zoinks!" Bard emits.

"Damn it!" Robin snarls and goes into a blinding sprint. "They're trying to seal us in! MOVE!"

"STATE THE OBVIOUS!" Bard runs, leaps, and hurdles the first door.

**_WHURRRR-CLANG! _**

The cowboy and the caped crusader leap the next rising door.

**_CLANG! _**

And the next.

**_CLANG! _**

And the next and the next and the next—

**_CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! _**

"Almost th-there--!" Robin shouts.

_**WHURRRRR**!_The last door flies up extra-fast.

"You were sayin'?" Bard moans.

"Go go go go go!" Robin practically blurs.

Bard huffs and puffs.

The door squeezes shut towards the ceiling.

Robin leaps, whips out a grappling hook in mid-air, and fires it—_**POW!**_—CLANK! He embeds the hook into a wall beyond the door and sails up and over it.

At the last second.

"Hey—HEY!" Bard skids helplessly to a stop. "Got at least another one of them things to spare?"

Robin lands on the other side, spins around, and shouts: "BARD!"

**_CLANGGGG! _**

Robin is alone.

"Dammit!" He pounds his gloved fist into the metal floor. Seethes. Looks around. Takes a fuming breath, then helplessly runs down the last stretch to the students' quarters by himself.

Echoing down the corridor…

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Nnngh!"

_WHANG! _

"Nnnngh!"

_WH-WHANG! _

Bard finishes pounding on the door with his elbow and steps back, panting. He's surrounded by two thick, metal doors in a claustrophobic segment of the hallway.

"Well…Shucks! SHUCKS TO SHUCK-HELL!" he tosses his arms, spins around, fumes, and then growls with a violent slamming of his cowboy hat against the floor.

_Thap! _

A beat.

Bard fidgets, drops to his knee, swoops the hat up in his hand, and lovingly dusts it off. "I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean it. Honest and hope to croak."

_Whurrrrrr! _

_Whurrrrrrr!_

_Whurrrr! _

"… … …," Bard glances around nervously. He slowly stands up and fits his hat on his head in slow motion. "… …okaaaay.. … …'what message speak the padded walls'?"

_**WHURRRRR-Cl-Clink!**_ Four torches in both walls extend out from tiny slots. They aim into the heart of the tiny compartment and start to flicker and spout gas flames. _Fw-Fw-Fw-Fwoosh! _

Bard sweats. …for many reasons. "Hooo boy. **Uh Uh**. I love 'American Pie', but I sure as blazes ain't gonna become one!"

**_Fwoooooooosh! _**

The flames build up.

Bard pants. He turns—Gasps(!)

A ventilation grate. At floor level.

_**CLANG!**_ He kicks it. **_CLANG! CLANG! _**

**_CRACKKK! _**

He kicks the grate free. He drops down, grips the edges of the chute, and slides in. "So long, flamers!"

_**FWOOOO-OOOO-OOOOOMB!**_ The roasting torches turn the room into plasma bare seconds after his heroic exit.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Daaaaaaa-aaaaaa-aaaaaaah!" Bard slides, careens, and flails his way down the ventilation shaft until—

**_SMACK! _**

He flies through a grate several floors below and bails out into the belly of an underground garage/hangar bay of Neo H.I.V.E.

"Ooof—Ooof—Ooof!" He rolls to a smoking, dusty stop along a pair of hovercraft. Coughing, sweating, he stands up and brushes himself off. ".. … …all great. Out of the frying pan and into the Aamco." He glances around at the jet aircraft and nasty-looking, combat helicopters. "This looks like a nerd's heaven, but I gotta split." He steps into a jog and briskly makes for a door across the way. "Damned if I don't smack Robin for leaving me in that pressure cooker—"

Bard freezes.

Bard turns.

Bard looks.

Three glistening, crystal-clean Harleys rest side by side. Keys and helmets dangling off the priceless, guilded handlebars.

"….. …. ….. …..," he slowly, drunkenly smiles. "Mmmmmm…… …"

But fatefully….

From behind him:

**_ZHHHHT! _**

"… ….?"

Bard slowly.. …slowly turns around….


	78. Suffer the Little Children 10

In the garage of the Neo HIVE facility, I admired the three perfect Harley's in front of me, gleaming lik stars. I looked up.

"Thanks, big guy. I'll be sure to remember this..."

**ZHHHHHHT!**

I turned around and saw a figure walking towards me from the dark side bay.

"I see how it is." I smirked. "We're kicking your butts, so you figure to get the hell out of Dodg-"

I stopped as the figure emerged from the shadows. It was a dark-haired woman with dark skin and an imperial face. He robe left little to the imagination, but what I noticed most were the light purple eyes that somehow reached out to me from the past.

"I...I know you."

The girl stared me down.

"You're mistaken."

I stepped forward, trying to get a better look. She watched me but didn't move.

Behind me, I didn't notice Kyd Wikkyd's silent form. He crept stealthily along the edge of the garage and hopped into a large hovercraft. I didn't see, too obsessed with the girl before me. I noticed real damn quick, however, when the engine roared to life.

**VROOM!**

My poncho furled as I spun around to see the big hovercraft bearing down on me. I dove to the side and rolled even as I felt the whoosh of it zooming by. As I gather my wits, the hovercraft slowed just enough for Zillah to hop on board. By the time I made it to my feet, the hovercraft was flying down a tunnel I assumed must lead to the surface. I watched it speed away and saw the flames erupting from the exhaust hole in the back-

I gasped. My eyes widnened.

For I had remembered.

"...Zillah..."

Suddenly, red lights started blinking.

"_Unauthorized entry into escape passage."_ An electronic voice said from somewhere._ "Closing and securing passage in ten...nine...eight..."_

The metal door over the passage Zillah and Kyd Wikkyd had fled started to close.

I sprinted for the nearest Harley and kicked the helmet out of the way as I jumped on.

"_Seven...six...five...four..."_

I found the ignition and slammed on the gas.

**VROOOOOOM!**

"_Three...two...one..."_

I leaned to one side and pulled hard on my bike, sliding parallel to the ground. Just as my wheels reached under the door, my cowboy hat flew off. Miraculously, I was able to reach back and grabbed it just before the door clanged shut.

I throttled down the perfectly round passageway, twisting and turning along the route.

ZZZZZZZZZZ

I sat beside Kyd Wikkyd in the cockpit of the hovercraft, looking forward eagerly as the wind blew my hair wildly around my shoulders. I wanted to get this place behind me as soon as possible. Booker, Chang...and most of all, Bard.

He had almost recognized me back there. I didn't want-

**VROOOM!**

The cowboy came into view, riding a high wheelie as he came along the bend. The front tire smacked down to the metal floor and I could see his blue eyes looking at me from under the brim of his cowboy hat.

He always was the persistent one...

"Wikkyd!" I yelled over the screaming air. "Floor it! Pedal to the metal!"

I turned back and already saw Bard closing in. I stood up in my seat and crawled over the body of the hovercraft to the rear compartment. I sat down and gripped the gatling gun mounted there. From down the sight, I saw the look of concern on Bard's face.

I closed my eyes. I gathered my will and pushed away my doubts. When my eyes popped back open, I was already pulling the triggers.

TTTTTTTTTT

**Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-ZAP!**

I turned the Harley to the side and laser shots peppered and ricocheted off the metal floor. I grit my teeth and pulled back on the throttle. I reached under my poncho and pulled out my laser pistol. Holding the bike with one hand, I took aim with the other. I closed one eye, looked down the sight...

And hesitated. I aimed a little to the left.

**ZAP!** **CLANK!**

The laser shot bounced off the body of hovercraft.

**Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-ZAP!**

Again I dodged to the side, hugging the bike close.

"Zillah! Stop that God forsaken thing!"

The gatling gun immediately stopped shooting. Behind it, I saw Zillah gasp.

I held my breath.

**Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-ZAP!**

The laser shots came at me again, and this time it wasn't a concentrated burst. With no where to go, I hummed.

**CHING!**

An ice shield appeared in front of me, connected to the from fender of my bike. It crackled and spit ice shavings as the laser abuse didn't stop.

**SHATTER!**

The ice shield broke away, leaving me defenseless. Zillah stopped shooting long enough to line me up in her sights.

"_Warning. Unauthorized persons in the escape passage. Activating security measures."_

At intervals of twenty feet, gun turrets lowered from the ceiling.

**RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!**

Zillah swiveled the gatling gun around and pointed up at them.

**VROOM!**

I throttled up beside the hovercraft. I looked up and to the side at Zillah who returned my gaze.

"..."

"..."

We looked forward.

**Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-ZAP!**

**ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!**

Gun turrets exploded and debris rained down on us as we sped along the passageway.

**RAT-A-TAT-TAT!**

"Ugh!" Zillah winced as a bullet slammed into the protective shield of the gatling gun.

I grit my teeth and aimed at the gun turret.

**ZAP! BOOOM!**

The weapon exploded and we blurred by it.

I didn't look at Zillah, nor did she look at me.

And then that damned electronic voice I was starting to hate piped up again.

"_Security measures destroyed. Sealing passage."_

"Wikkyd!" Zillah called forward. "Ram him!"

I did a double take. The hovercraft bore down on my side.

I smashed the brakes.

**SCCREEETCHHHH!**

Sparks flews as the hovercraft scrapped the side of the passageway in front of me. The engine of it revved and it disappeared down the tunnel, leaving me stopped far behind.

I cursed under my breath, changed gears and hit the gas.

**VROOOM!**

"_Door twenty two, closing."_

I saw it ahead of me, a sheet of metal descending down from the ceiling. I crouched down on the bike as low as possible and hit the highest gear.

**SWOOSH!**

I zoomed under it.

"_Door twenty three, closing."_

The sheet of metal slid in from the left this time. I turned had to the right, riding horizontal along the wall.

**SWOOSH!**

I cleared it.

"_Door twenty four, closing."_

I grit my teeth.

_This is starting to get on my ever loving NERVES!_

This door closed from the left. I turned to the other side.

**SWOOSH!**

I left it behind me.

The smell of cool night air came to me.

"_Closing final door."_

_Thank goodness!_

I blanched. The last door was closing from the bottom up. I took in a huge breath. I turned to the left, rode horizontal along the round tunnel before jerking the bike to the right. I rode horizontal on that side and kept going. The closing door filled my upside down vision.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeehawwwwwwwwwww!"

**SWOOSH!**

I landed on a bumpy dirt path.

The night surrounded me. I let my bike idle to a stop and peered around.

_Where the heck did they go?_

I took off my hat and scratched the hair under it, thinking.

**VROOOOM!**

I spun my head around and looked up. The hovercraft ramped off a nearby slope and and barreled down at me from above.

I hit the gas harder than I should have and my back wheel threw up dirt.

The hovercraft fell faster.

My back tire finally got traction and I zoomed forward.

**CRASH!**

ZZZZZZZZZZ

I braced myself as we landed, my teeth clattering. I looked up through the dust and saw we'd missed the cowboy. But the shock wave of our landing had thrown his back tire into the air. He balanced totteringly as the bike went forward. Both wheels back on the ground, he swerved left and right and regained control.

I pointed.

"After him! Ram him!"

Kyd Wikkyd complied and the engine of the hovercraft growled hungrily. We rammed into Bard's back tire, sending him swerving again. Kyd Wikkyd looked at me and jabbed his thumb back at the gatling gun.

"I know what I'm doing! Just drive!"

I kept my seat next to him and watched as we gained on the cowboy again. He suddenly turned a hard right at a ninety degree angle and drove up a smaller dirt path.

"Turn! Now!"

I was jostled around the seat as Kyd Wikkyd made the impossible turn.

TTTTTTTTTT

I rocketed down the narrow path with trees on either side. I had suddenly went from the predator to the prey. How the hell had that happened? I was hoping the leaner path would stop the bulky hovercraft from following me.

It didn't.

**VROOM!**

The hovercraft ate at my back tire, causing a horrible smelling smoke to fill the air. The hovercraft smashed into trees on either side of the path, sending branches and debris in my way. With my headlight only showing a few feet ahead of me, it was like the damndest roller coaster I'd ever been on.

**CRASH!**

An old dead fall tree plummeted across the road. I jerked my Harley up into a wheelie, bunny hopped and sailed over it. Behind me, the tree scrapped the bottom of the hovercraft.

We finally emerged from the woods into a clearing. The moon was bright above and I could see a little better. That was the good news. The bad news was that I saw a sheer rock face that blocked me on all sides.

A dead end.

I closed my eyes.

_I can't believe I'm gonna destroy **two** steel horses today..._

I shut off my headlight and threw the bike into a sideways slide. I bailed and hit the ground rolling. I stopped on my back, looking up at the stars. I pressed myself into the ground as hard as possible.

**SWOOSH!**

The hovercraft rocketed over me.

**BOOM!**

My borrowed Harley exploded against the rock face.

The hovercraft was right behind it.

**CRASHHHHHHHSHHHHH!**

I stood up, dusted myself off and half limped up to the wrecked hovercraft. The whole front in of it was caved in. The engine faded weakly like the last cries of a wounded animal. I climbed up on the hovercraft and looked into the cockpit for Kyd Wikkyd and Zillah.

It was empty. Puzzled, I turned-

**WHAM!**

Kyd Wikkyd smashed me over the head with the broke off steering wheel. I stumbled back and fell into the cockpit while he ran for the forest with Zillah just ahead of him. I growled and pulled myself out of the seat. I grit my teeth, hopped down from the ruined vehicle and sprinted after them.

I lost sight of them in the trees, but I heard the leaves crinkle beneath their feet and the bushes rustle and branches grab at them. I kept going. I broke through the trees and, down a gentle slope, Zillah and Kyd Wikkyd stood on the bank of a river.

"Split up!" Zillah pushed Kyd Wikkyd on his way. He fled upstream while Zillah ran along the bank the opposite way.

I had a split second to decide who to chase.

I ran downstream after Zillah. As I ran, I pulled my laser pistol and aimed-

"..."

I cursed under my breath, shoved it back home to the holster and continued after her. As we ran, the roaring of the river grew louder. I soon found out why.

Zillah dug in her heels and stopped. Beyond her was at least a hundred foot drop off, the river changing to a waterfall that emptied into a huge lake.

I slowed to a stop, panting and resting my hands and weight on my knees. I sucked in lungfuls of air.

Zillah's breathing was much more reserved.

"I told you the first time we met that smoking was bad for you."

I stood straight and looked at her.

"So it is you...Zillah."

"What of it?"

I shook my head.

"Look...after...after w-what happened, it's no surprised you've ended up like this. But-"

"Stop. I don't need saving."

I looked at her, my eyes soft. I took a deep breath.

"What...what do you need, Zillah?"

I watched her, waiting for an answer.

She looked back at me. She opened her mouth, but then she closed it again. She shook her head.

"All I need." She suddenly winked at me. "Is a good swim!"

She jumped off the waterfall.

"NO!"

_FLASH!_

"_No! Wait! Come back! I need your help! **I need you, Zillah!"**_

_FLASH!_

"ZILLAH!" I dove after her, but it was too late. She'd already jumped.

I looked over the edge and saw her falling parallel with the waterfall. She fell back first, looking up at me the whole time. Just before she hit the water-

**ZHHHHHT!**

She disappeared.

"..."

I bowed my head.


	79. Suffer the Little Children 11

**Clang! **

**Clang! **

**  
Clang!**

One metal foot after another, Mister Freeze marches up to a final stretch of metal doors marked '_Compartment F'_. He comes to an iron stop. His red eyes narrow as he studies the lengths and breadths of the doorframe.

**"… … …."**

He brings his other hand to his ice pistol. He turns a knob on it, intensifying the frequency. _Clik-k-k-k-k._ He shifts. He steps back. He aims the weapon and…

Pauses.

**"… … ….?"** He glances over his shoulder. A start—And he suddenly spins with a metal forearm raised in time to block a shot of lead. _**CLANG!** _

Hull curses, aiming a smoking shotgun barrel. Pulsade poses besides him with wrists strobing a blinding brightness.

"Bugger all.. … …He's like a walking tank!"

"Yeah, with it's air conditioner on the fritz."

_"Okay, Michael. No more words from you for the rest of the night." _

"Feh."

**"You two.. …. …Former H.I.V.E. students… …,"** Mister Freeze's pale brow furrows. A beat. He cranes his domed head. He frowns and glares fixedly at them. **"Amy. You've done something with her, haven't you?"**

"What bloody difference should it make to you?" Pulsade sneers. "She was our mate long before you ever coddled her into becoming your 'pet', Fries!"

Freeze hisses electronically: **"I nursed her back to health. She is like a daughter to me…"**

"Tsk tsk…," Hull smirks down the barrel of his shotgun. "Snowman's got a warm spot!"

_Cl-Clak!_ The Gothamite aims the ice gun directly at him. **"You would do well to shed any attachment you may have to warmth…..NOW." **He pulls at the trigger.

Hull and Pulsade flinch—

_Sw-Sw-Sw-Sw-SWISH-**CLANK!**_

**"AUGH!"** Mister Freeze stumbles back as his pistol is knocked clean from his metallic grip. He tilts his domed head up and glares.

Through a broken ceiling panel, Robin slithers down, lands in a crouch, and whips out two more birdarangs. These, however, blink with threatening explosive charges. "This is the farthest the march of winter goes, Fries."

**"The Batman's protégé….,"** Mister Freeze slurs. **"I would have expected no less." **

Robin stands up, glaring. With both birdarangs trained on Freeze, he glances over at the two rogues. "Where's Fraust?"

"Simon has her in good hands," Pulsade says.

Hull adds: "Well, relatively speaking—" Pulsade smacks him. "Ow!"

"… … …," Robin takes a deep breath and bravely drones: "I'm going to have to ask you three to back away from the door."

Mister Freeze's fists tighten.

"Bullocks!" Pulsade hisses. "We came this far to do no less a good deed than you, Bugger Wonder! These might seem like regular hostages to you. But to the likes of Michael, Simon, Amy and I—they're brothers and sisters! This is bloody personal!"

"I can't risk letting any terrorist get their hands on—"

"Terrorist?" Hull cackles with a psychotic grin. "Dude, before you start cashing checks that your ass can't catch—Give your short-term memory a little once-over and remind yourself just how kindly we worked alongside you and your nerdy pals up till now! Wouldn't you call that genuine, all-American boy scout treatment? Or did your brain and your prostate switch places overnight?"

"I did the unorthodox thing of enlisting the help of you thugs for one reason alone," Robin points. "I knew the sight of your infiltration would set off the impulsive alarms in this 'Booker's' psychotic brain, and he'd forego good strategy by leaving a vulnerable hole wide enough for us to march through. And that's exactly what we did."

Pulsade's eyemask narrows. ".. ….you mean to say you were _using us?_"

"Whatever the case….," Robin raises the birdarangs higher. "I need you to back off. **Now**."

"Why of all the bloody—"

_Ch-Chtung!_ Hull trains his shotgun on the Boy Wonder. "Flick your right arm just once, bird boy, and I'll shoot off your one and only love-partner for good!"

"Make your move—"

**"Children.. …. …lest we forget.. …."**

Robin, Hull, and Pulsade look the Gothamite's way.

Mr. Freeze calmly—coldly—gestures towards the metal doors. **"As thunderous as this whole affair is, there are less fortunate souls to assist beyond this barrier,"** his knowing eyes squint in a crimson glint. **"Is life so ironic that I serve as the only benevolent individual amidst this standoff?"**

"… …. ….," Pulsade bites her lip.

Hull exhales and fingers the hilt of his shotgun.

Robin clenches his fingers around his birdarangs and sighs: "Not on my damned watch.. …" He nods at the rogues.

Pulsade nods back.

Mr. Freeze swivels about…

And all four face the doors as one.

Birdarangs, light beams, ice gun, and shotgun aimed at ready….

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Flaar pants… …

And pants… …

And pants… ….

Below him, bruised and singed in a few places, lies Starfire in a heap of mangled metal and debris. A green glow sizzles in a circle and smoke rises from her extremities. She moans and stirs slightly before falling unconscious.

Flaar clenches his teeth and forms two fists. He shudders slightly, for a reason he cannot ascertain. He forces his eyes shut and tightens his fingers till his palms bleed. A beat…two. And he exhales in a hiccup, then looks weakly down at the wounded, wilted Tamaranian girl.

"…. …… ….." Starfire is still. Barely breathing.

Flaar builds up a wave of heat. He bites back whatever hesitancy there may be, raises his hands, and hotly aims down at her—

_**ZZZZZZZTT-TTT!.!.!.!** _

**POW!**

"OOOF!" Flaar is struck square-center by a bolt of electricity. He sails back ten feet and slams hard into the wall of the utility room. _WHANG!_ He slumps down to his knees, wincing.

"S-Star!" Static runs in, panting. He kneels down by her side and cradles her upper body across his knees, checking her vital signs. "J-Jesus! Hang in there.. …."

"Nnngh…," Flaar winces and slowly gets up. "You again. I'm going to—"

**"Shut your stinkin' face, ya brat!"** Static howls.

Flaar actually jumps back.

Static sneers, holding Starfire close as he glares at her. "You have no god damn clue about anything in the world, do you? Did they blind you to that, punk? You're so full of all this 'pain and rage' emo-crud that you can blast the Hell out of somebody who didn't mean you nothin' but good and think it's all hunky-dorey, well you're one shitty specimen, pal! Didn't it get through your thick skull that all she wanted to do was help you?"

"… .. ….," Flaar blinks.

"And don't you look all confused and bushy-eyed, you piece of filth!" Static glances over Starfire's bruises while muttering. "She went on a quest.. … …She all but turned her back on what her teammates were doing…. …She enlisted me and the help of a criminal... ...She all-but-sacrificed her good-standing as a HERO to see you rescued from this ugly-ass dung-heap and **how do you repay her?**"

Flaar shudders…

Static slowly lays Starfire down. He stands up menacingly and faces Flaar from across the room. "Take a good look at her. You're both the same blood, dumbass! The same skin. The same hair. The same eyes and powers and all that crap! You were given all the signs of good will and what did you do? Not what a man would do, I tell ya that! Just a dog.. … a trained animal who dives in balls-first at the ring of a bell!"

_**ZZZZT!** _

Static charges his fists with a circulating fury. "Starfire may have wanted to treat you like a young man. But that's not what I'm gonna do to you, fart-stain! You're nothing but a lost, self-loathing little kid! And one that's due for one Hell of a spanking! So help me God….—"

"She… ….Sh-She only wanted to know my name… …"

Static pauses, squinting through his goggles.

Flaar is murmuring. He is looking at his own hands. At the emerald plasma rolling off his fingers. ".. …. ..I kept pummeling her… .. …and all sh-she wanted from me was a n-name.. … …."

Static waits. Static listens.

Flaar's lips quiver. A tear rolls out from his eye.. ..but immediately evaporates from the heat. "… … …N-Nova'm… … …" He looks up, shivering. "… .. …'N-Nova'm' was what.. … …people once called me.. … …_kind people_… … …" He gulps a lump in his throat and looks at the ruins and debris around him. ".. ….G-God.. …what am I d-doing here… .. …?"

Static takes a deep breath. Lips pursing, he takes a step forward and raises a hand to speak—

**_ZAAAAAA-AAAAA-AAAAAAAAP!_** A crimson, Xenothium ray blasts into him.

"AAAAAAAAUGH!" Static convulses, shudders, and falls down to the floor in a smoking heap. "Nnnngh…. …" _THWUMP! _

Flaar gasps. He spins around and looks.

Professor Chang—bruised and battered—stands limply in a caved-in portion of the ceiling, flanked by Mammoth and a few conscious guards in tattered battle-armor.

"Flaar. Booker's precious 'castle' here is finished. Mammoth's taking us back to HQ. If you know what's good for you… ….heheh…you'll join us, no?"

"… .. ….. ….," Flaar bites his lip. He looks over his shoulder. He glances at Static.. … …then longingly at Starfire. "…. … …."

_"Flaar?" _

The alien boy shudders. He shrugs his shoulders, sighs, and spins round. "I'm coming.. …" He runs and joins Mammoth's side. Professor Chang and the guards escort them away and towards the surface.

Leaving the two unconscious Titans behind…

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Thwish-Thwish-Thwish—**_THWISH! _**

**_CRACK! _**

_**SHATTTTTER!** _

The window flies into a myriad of shards.

Gripping Myrkblade, I vault through the frame and into the torture room.

In the bright, blinding light of the place…

I run across the metal floor…

And up to the wall against which the petite figure of Red X is suspended.

_"Nnnngh.. …." _The pale, skull-like mask twitches and reels. The black body and gloves shudder.

I wince at the sight.

_Torture.. …_

_Never fun.. … …_

_No matter the thief or saint… … _

I reach up towards him and try to 'yank' him down.

But he's held taut by the wires.

Speaking of which—

_**Zzzzt!** _

_OW! _

I gasp and leap back, wincing at the sensation. I stick a finger into my mouth, wave it around, and look up at the hanging 'crucifix' of a rogue.

_"Mmmf.. …wh-whoever you are.. … …try being a little less stupid… …" _

I fight the urge to frown.

_**CHIIIING!** _

I point Myrkblade towards him.

He somehow manages to twitch. _"Oboy." _

I hold a breath, cover my sword with smoke, and pump the spectral powers of balance through my blade as I swing high---**_SLASH!_**—low**_—SL-SLASH!_**—and along the sides. _**SLASSSSH!** _

A few jolts. A tiny spark or two.

And….

_**CH-CHTTTNG!** _

Red X is murkily cut loose from the wires. He falls freely—

_Th-Thap!_ I catch him in half-an-open arm. I shudder a bit under his weight, but manage to safely carry him away a decent distance from his spot of misery.

I lay him on the ground. He coughs and moans, stirring all over.

I pant… …nervous.

_My God._

_He must have been in that horrid spot for days!_

_Who knows what they've been doing to him—Oh Lord, he's gotta be d-dying!_

_I… …I-I have to check on his vital signs n'stuff._

I try to feel for a pulse. I lean my ear to his chest. I squeeze his wrist.

_Nothing._

_Not even a pulse._

_That damned suit of Robin's….! _

I bite my lip.

_Only one thing to do… … _

I reach a pair of hands to the edge of his mask—

_"Don't even think about it,"_ he drones. _"Not as if you can." _

I pause for a moment.

"… …. …"

I frown.

_No._

_No, I have to do this.. … _

I reach the edges of his mask.

And I pull.

The white 'skull' plate on the youngster's head won't budge.

So I concentrate.

I slither a current of murk out from my fingers and under the grooves in his mask.

_Click! _

_There we go.. …_

_And now… … _

I remove Red X's mask… …

… ….and I do a double-take.

My black eyes twitch, the widen at the sight….

The sight of _nothing_.

There is nobody—No face—Nothing under the mask. Just a hollow suit with empty space inside where the 'skull' plate was.

My jaw drops.

_What the.. ….? _

A beat.

_"…. … ….Told you not to look." _

I gasp wildly at the electronic voice—

**_WHAP!_** A red-blurring fist slams across my cheek.

I roll wildly across the floor and to a painful stop amidst glass shards.

The Red X suit pops the mask back on and hops up to its feet with as ever the agile grace I've seen from the rogue.

**_CHIIING!_** Red X produces a tentacle of red from its forearm and salutes me with the other wrist. _"Seen too much, kid. But now you see it---" _

_**FWOOOOSH!** _

He swings away on the red cord.

_"—Now you don't!" _

I cough, wheeze…and sit up. Eyes tearing from the blow to the cheek as I rub my face and look towards where he.. …it… …the _frickin' Red X suit_ has just escaped.

_What in the world is going on there?_

_I saw **nobody**!_

_Was that.. …. ….Was that… .. …?_

_"Snkkkt-Hahahaha….Kaff-KAFF-Ha ha ha ha!" _

I freeze. For that is not Red X's droning voice.

_"Makes so much sense now…. …A hollow shell… … ..A subconscious subroutine of artificial intelligence mimicry—Snkkkt-Hahahahaha-Kaff-KAFF!" _

It takes me a few seconds, but I hobble up to my feet, catch my breath, and blur up through the window and back into the laboratory.. …

Where the old man in the metal mech-brace is stirring and laughing with blood trailing from his lips. With every laugh he.. .. …'deteriorates'. And the faux, young exterior once granting him an aesthetic visage melts away into wrinkles as he coughs and wheezes the agonized evening away.

"He had nothing.. …N-NOTHING….snkkkt—_Kaff-Kaff!_ Jusssst—snkkkt—an empty shell hungering for more and more Xenothium. A shadow of its former user. No body.. …no flesh.. …no—snkkkt—KAFF.. …No inclination towards the Experiment whatsoever! Nnngh….damn you, Chang. You cheated usssss—snkkkt-KAFF! _KAFF!_ You cheated me… …"

I look down at him. I look around for traces of Red X. In the meantime, my bruises are subconsciously frothing with flickering puffs of smoke and obsidian.

And instantly-the aging psychopath sees it. His gray eyes bulge as he reels madly on the floor. "SNkkkt-No…N-N-No… ..It… ..It can't be that simple! Snkkkt-Hahahahaha-Kaff-_KAFF!_ The Titan.. …the kid.. …the bl-blasted Black Eyes….snkkkt-Heheheh.. …Ohhhhhh I was…I was….I was diggg-ggggiiiing-snnnkkt—in the wrong SPOT! Heheheh-_KAFF! HACKKKT-snkkkt_…." The wrinkles swim over his face like a whirlpool as the metal brace begins to short circuit and the life is drained from the torturer's flesh. "… …such a waste… …the wrong children.. ….Oh! Oh my Headmistressss-snkkt-_Kaff! KAFF!_… …I've failed you…snkkt….you and the Obsidian Trinity. The wrong childrennn… ….such a waste… ..s-such a waste of blood.. …. ..w-waste of blood… …..w-waste… … …" And he exhales as his eyes roll back for the last time.

I stare at him.

Breathless.

I look towards the wires where Red X--.. …where the _suit_ was situated.

"… … …"

I then look towards the extinguished life of a villain before me.

"… .. …."

And for some reason I look at my own hand, and its puffs of murk flickering out of each finger like a subconscious fountain.

_Waste of blood. _

I form a lump in my throat.

_Obsidian Trinity. _

I look at him once more.

_Experiment… …. …._

I shudder all over. I hug myself. I want to hear Bard's voice. I want to see Fei-yan's smile. I want to turn off the light and turn over in the covers and die for a few hours.

Anything…

Anything but this haunting.. … ..haunting _feeling. _

_What's going on here?.?.? _

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

_**CRKKK-KKKK-KKKKK!** _

The door to Compartment F turns to frozen ice.

Then—

_**SHATTTTER!** _

Robin and Pulsade leap through, ready for combat.

Mister Freeze and Hull take up the rear.

But all too soon…

Silence ensues.

Eight.. ….Ten.. …a dozen….fifteen…..two dozen students of both young and _younger_ ages huddle all across the claustrophobic living quarters assigned to them. Some are in raggedy garb. Others are in junior-grade henchperson armor. A good number cling to each other. The rest stand alone and in trepidation at the sight of the four intruders.

A beat.

Robin slowly steps in. He looks at them all. He takes a breath: "Nobody be afraid. We're here to rescue you."

A girl in yellow armor gulps, takes a look at the bunch, and mutters: "All of y-you?"

Robin turns and looks at the two rogues and Gothamite, then back at the girl. He nods with a soft smile. "Yes. **All** of us."

Breaths of relief.

A few sobs.

Muttering and murmuring voices.

Pulsade walks through and takes a silent headcount, using a bright finger as a laser pointer.

Hull leans on his shotgun, eyeing the entire room suspiciously.

Robin marches around, being approached by little ones with wide eyes of desperate hope and trust. He pats the shoulders of a few of them and strafes across the room, getting a good look at the crowd. "… …a few trips will do it. But we can get them all out under guard from the rest of the H.I.V.E. officials if we **work** together. Now, let's devise a plan—"

**"This isn't all of them,"** Mister Freeze drones.

Hull looks up.

Pulsade hangs her head.

Robin looks curiously at Freeze…then at Pulsade. "… …Pulsade?"

"…. …," the British Blonde glances sadly up. She looks hesitantly towards a black, metal door towards the side of the compartment.

Robin turns to look at it. He glances at a random kid. He points at the door and asks: "What's behind that?"

The kid merely bites his lip and steps back. A few seconds later, tears well up in his eyes. He clenches his palms over his face.

A teenager limps up and shudders: "Mr. Titan….. …Don't bother…."

Robin cocks his head to the side and looks at her strangely. "What do you mean?"

"It's.. …. ..It's t-too late for them."

"… … …," Robin turns to the door—

But Mr. Freeze is already there. _Bleep!_ **_SCHWISSSH!_** He marches in.

Robin rushes to the door. Hull and Pulsade slowly follow.

Soon, all four walk out into a wide, dark room with obsidian metal paneling and a green, bubbling glow reflecting off their pallid faces as three sets of eyes/eyemasks grow wide.

Pulsade sharply gasps, a hand over her lips.

"Mother of God.. … …," Hull grotesquely shudders.

**"… …. …. …."** Freeze says nothing. He merely stands still and witnesses.

Robin walks forward. Gazing. Left. Right. At the whole spectacle. The Titan Leader leans against a metal railing, suddenly weak in the knees.

And for a good minute, nobody—neither hero nor villain—says a word.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

_**POP!** _

A metal hatch in the middle of the forest flies open.

Red X kicks the trap door open.

He leaps out.

He blurs in a red streak and leaps/teleports from branch to branch till he perches on one trunk in the middle of the moonlit canopy.

He pauses.

He flexes a black, gloved hand before his hollow mask.

_"…. …. … …. …" _

He glances towards the stars.

_"Red… …. …Flame… …. …**Black**… … …**Smoke**_… …."

A beat.

_"… …heheh.. …a little funky, but I think I'm starting to catch on." _

He flexes his limbs.

_"Thank you very much, Booker. This is about more than just Xenothium. I know that now." _

Crickets.

Wind and chill.

_"… … ..but I must learn **more**."_

_**SWOOOOSH!** _

He leaps down and blurs across the countryside in a scarlet streak.


	80. Suffer the Little Children Finale

"..."

Exhausted.

Totally exhausted, both physically and mentally.

My legs trembled and threatened to give out at any minute. My shoulders hung low and my arms swayed limply at my sides. Even my neck didn't have enough strength to hold up my head, so my view was that of the ground during my trek.

It was a long walk back to the facility. I could have used the wind song to fly back, but my heart didn't have a melody at the moment. My guitar rode meekly on my back, quiet and dead. The sun rose above the horizon to my left, but I barely glanced at it. For now, it held no beauty for me.

Zillah...it was really her. I hadn't been sure at first, but now there was no doubt. The sight of the girl invoked all kinds of feelings in me. The lines of our lives had converged only briefly, but that brief time contained the event that possibly shaped who we had become.

I felt guilty. We were no different. And yet our places in the world were. I was with the Teen Titans...and her with Neo HIVE. Zillah should be standing by my side with the white hats and not across from me.

Or maybe I deserved to stand beside her...

I sighed and finally forced myself to look up. The facility ahead was just as busy, but infinity more quiet. Squad cars, social services vans and unmarked military vehicles all blinked and lined around the front entrance. Officials of all kinds scurried from one place to the other. Some stockpiled the confiscated weapons cache. Others were leading away HIVE soldiers while detectives pulled some over to the side to question them. Others still, obviously not military or police, escorted rescued children away from the smoking site. Only...there didn't seem to be that many. Maybe there were finishing up.

Just then, Robin exited the building with Starfire, Static and Noir following behind. Starfire was carrying a child in her arms, which an official immediately relieved her of.

I threw on a smile, trying to cheer myself up a bit. And why shouldn't we be happy when-

"Mission complete, huh? Time to rack up the gil and experience, I reckon." I gestured. "Teen Titans, one. Bad guys, zero!"

I stopped when I saw the Titans' faces. All of them looked like I felt, or even more so. They looked tired and haggard...and kind of haunted. I frowned.

"What about Mister Freeze?" I asked Robin. "He was the one you were worried about, right? We get him?"

"Mister Freeze..." Robin let his cape swallow his shoulders. He looked straight ahead. "He's finished."

He walked on without another word. The other Titans followed him. I looked at Noir and opened my mouth, but he seemed as preoccupied as the rest. It didn't really matter, I suppose. I felt the same way, more or less. Sometimes you just got to know when to keep your mouth shut.

I took a deep breath and followed the team away from the facility.

TTTTTTTTTT

Professor Chang paced down a dimly lit hallway with Flaar walking silently behind him. He stopped at a large door, where a HIVE soldier stood sentry.

"The Headmistress is expecting you, Chang."

Chang nodded briefly and waited for the sentry to open the door. That done, he stepped into the room with Flaar following behind hesitantly.

The room was even darker than the hallway. At the pinnacle of the room sat a desk and, behind it, a graceful figure clouded in shadows.

"You disappoint me, Chang." The Headmistress chided him coldly. "The facility you lost was instrumental to the experiment. We now have to start anew."

"Surely you don't blame me." Change wheedled. "I am a scientist, not a fighter. I did my job. Booker was the one that failed. The girl...Fraust...she led them straight to us. The Teen Titans, Mister Freeze and many of Booker's former 'children'. Did you expect me to repel such a force?"

The Headmistress leaned forward slightly.

"What would you have me do, Chang?"

"Create a new facility at once, of course. The experiment must continue. The facility...while important...is quite insignificant compared to our goal, wouldn't you say? Hm?"

"You are scientist. So you know..."

Chang tilted his head to listen.

"So you know...the first rule of a proper experiment. If you don't want the procedure repeated...clean up the dirty pieces."

A metal object could be heard scrapping over the top of the desk. Chang stepped forward.

"What-URK!"

**SKKKINKKT!**

A gleaming dagger impaled in his throat. He choked, his eyes surprised, and instinctively tried to reach for it. His fingers barely touched the hilt before his legs gave way and he fell to the floor with thump.

Flaar stared in shock.

"Unless you wish to share his fate, I suggest you remove him from my sight.

Flaar trembled.

"Y-yes, Headmistress!"

The Headmistress leaned back and idly watched the grim business of cleaning up.

ZZZZZZZZZZ

I sighed and leaned my back against the tree trunk. I had my knees folded up to my chest and clasped them in place with my arms. Before me was the sunrise and, while I looked in that direction, I never really saw it.

Things were getting complicated.

Jonny...Bard...whatever he called himself now. Why did he have to show up again? Why did he have to _remember_?

I pulled a cell phone from my robe, dialed a number and pressed it to my ear."

"_Yes?"_

"It's me...Zillah."

"_You have something to report?"_

"The Neo HIVE facility...was attacked today. The Teen Titans and Mister Freeze...among others...assaulted the place. We no longer have control."

"_That is...disappointing. I believed the Headmistress to be more efficient than that."_

"It was due to Chang and Booker. They were inept as well as overconfident."

"_I see. Those men are certainly not salt of the earth."_

"..."

"_Something else is troubling you. What is it?"_

It was not a question. I shuddered at how easily he had 'seen' it.

"Nothing. Only..."

"_Yes?"_

"There is a new Titan. He goes by the name of Bard."

"_Is he a threat?"_

"No. Well...yes. But-"

"_If he troubles you so, I will have him killed. Simple as."_

"But-"

"_Anything for you."_

**CLICK!**

I hugged myself, the dial tone doing nothing to console me.


	81. Exhausted

"Mmmmmmmmmmm… … …," Beast Boy sulks. All but draped over the kitchen counter in the Titan's Main room. His green ears are half as deflated as his sighing breaths as he ticks away the seconds with depressed eyelids.

Behind him, Cyborg is making himself a sandwich. At the sight of his depressed companion, he pauses to smirk and slap him across the back. "Chin up, little man. You can't be down in the dumps about this all week!"

"Mmmmm… …. …Terra isn't here… ….," Beast Boy mutters. "… .. …so the gay elf has left the building."

"You mean that _figuratively_, right, dawg?"

"… … …"

"Heh heh heh… …I should have known you'd be this mopey while she was in the Sequester House. Just think about it! She's both doing her job AND being safe from any random attacks of Mad Mod. And while she's at it, I bet she'll do one damn fine job at the pageant! Now, don'tcha think it'd make her happy to see you being cheerful for her?"

"Mmmmm.. … …but she isn't heeeeere…."

Across the Main Room, Raven glances up from her fair nose digging in a book. She takes one look at the two Titan boys, rolls her eyes, and resumes page-flipping with the slightest of smirks.

"Man, you just gotta get a grip on thing! Here," Cyborg slides him a plate. "Have some tofu nuggets!"

"Don't waaaaaaaaannnt ittttttttt," Beast Boy whines.

"Egads…," Cyborg rolls his eyes. "You can keep this up as long as you like. But the soonest you turn into a little puddle of green effigy, I'm scooping you up and tossing you away into the 'pity bucket'."

"Feh. Your mom made that phrase up."

"I know! That's why it's so damn good!"

"Ugh…I wanna die."

"I can oblige, grass stain!"

"MMmmmmm… … …only if Terra's HERE for my funeral."

"Heh heh heh… … …Everything will be alright. The pageant's just in another day."

Raven flip another page, exhales, and cuddles back into the windowseat. Sunlight settles gently across her robed shoulders.

"… … .. …."

A flinching. Raven's head rises up. She blinks. She lowers her hood and cranes her neck around. Blinking.

Cyborg squints towards her. "Rae… ..?"

_Thwap! _

Raven stands up with the book shut. "They're **here**," she drones.

Cyborg and Beast Boy start. "R-Robin and the others?"

Raven takes a deep breath. ".. … …and something's not right… …"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

**_Sch-Schwisssh! _**

The elevator doors open to the bottom floor of the Titan's Tower.

Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy scamper out.

Mixed gasps and stares… …

We've already entered our abode. Robin is leading the way, gloved fists clenched as he makes a bee-line for the opposite side of the lobby. Starfire and Static hobble afterwards, both of whom are roughly bandaged for their manageable injuries. Then I'm strolling in, staring at my feet in a spacey manner. Finally, Bard takes up the rear in a lazy.. .. ..breathless mosey.

Cyborg—as always—is the first to open his mouth: "Man, what took y'all? I thought you were just trying to rendezvous in the wilderness hot on the trail of--… …er… …or that you were cracking down on---… …wait, what the Hell were y'all up to anyway?"

"Long story," Robin blurts and storms past him. "I'll brief you later."

"But—"

**"Later**." The Boy Wonder ices his way up a stairwell.

Cyborg bites his lip. "Whew.. …," he turns around, rubbing the human side of his head. ".. …what's got a bite on his cape—_Whoah damn!_ Guys, you okay?" He rushes nervously up to Starfire and Static. "You look like Hell!"

"But since wh-when did I resemble a Judeo-Christian model of the deleterious afterlife?" Starfire murmurs.

Static smiles slightly. "Cyborg just means they're freaked out at how banged up we are."

"Ah, but is not a rigorous battle complete with its scars?"

"Battling?" Cyborg does a double-take as Raven gently strolls up. "You were battling someone?"

"Dudes, who?" Beast Boy squeaks. "Whoever it was did something nasty to you!"

Starfire opens her mouth.. .. ..but pauses long and breathily. Her eyelids shut as she lowers her empty face towards the floor.

Beast Boy bites his lip.

Static clears his throat and mouths: _'It is a long story'_.

"Mmm…I'm sure," Raven gently graces Starfire's bandaged arms. "These wounds are still fresh. Follow me to the infirmary and I'll give them my healing touch."

"V-Virgil.. …," Starfire looks up as Raven guides her away. "Will you be coming?"

"Y-Yeah. In a sec, Star."

"Very well. Happy tidings."

Raven walks off with Starfire.

Beast Boy scratches his green head. He and Cyborg look Static's way. "So…. ..what happened?"

"Everything good and everything bad."

"How about the good stuff first?" Beast Boy simpers. "A spoonful of that makes the nervous convulsions go down."

"Well, we totally busted a hideout belonging to a new bunch of H.I.V.E. crooks," Static counted his fingers. "We freed forty-two young victims to the terrorist organization. Noir—so it seems—got Red X out of captivity… mmmmmm… .. …and none of us Titans died, so I guess that's kinda good."

Beast Boy shrinks his head into the neck of his shirt. "Mmmmf-mmmf-mmmf…" ('Now the bad…')

"Well," Static winces slightly and gently touches a burn mark on his shoulder. "Red X kinda-sorta got away. So did a bunch of other people. And after Mister Freeze made his trek down to the bottom of the underground facility—"

"Whoah whoah whoah WHOAH **WHOAH!**" Cyborg waves his arms wildly. He dangles in place with his jaw wide open before eventually stammering: "THE Mister Freeze was in on this thang?"

Static sweatdrops. "P-Perhaps Robin is right. This kind of thing should wait for later."

"Nuh uh! I don't think so!" Cyborg cackles. "Each and everyone of you is lookin' slack-jawed by whatever it is y'all just went through, and I think it's our place to find out why!" Cyborg points. "Hell, if Noir could speak, I'd even say the cat's got his tongue!"

All three look at me.

"… … … …." From a lone corner, I silently glance up at them. I shudder.

They look away and murmur amidst themselves:

_"Dude.. …just what's with him? Bard too?" _

_"I dunno! Robin didn't say a word about what he and the others saw when they went down into the dungeons to rescue the kids."_

_"Robin and who? Mister Freeze?.?.?"_

_"And Hull and Pulsade and—"_

_"**Who**?"_

Static sighs. "… …look. I'm just as confused as you guys. Just.. … …," Static runs a hand through his hair. ".. …. …confused. So if you excuse me, I'm gonna go pay Starfire a visit."

"Already?"

**"YES** already, Beast Boy. Now let me through…" Static shoves his way and marches to the elevator.

Cyborg and Beast Boy blink, confusedly.

Cyborg whistles.

"Man.. …this is weak," Beast Boy murmurs. "Heh. And I thought **I** was down."

"Robin had better have some good answers.. .. …," Cyborg murmurs and glances my way again. ".. … …any answers… …"

I hug myself slightly and look away from them.

I close my black eyes.

I drift….

And I think.. … …

_Red X… .. …_

_There was nobody inside the suit._

_And yet.. … .._

_It still moved._

_It still 'lived'._

_Did it feel pain too?_

_I need to tell Robin about it. But I feel like he's holding back something too._

_Everybody is… _

I glance up.

To my left.

Bard's shadow is there—as only I can sense it. But the cowboy has long walked out of the room. Taken the stairwell. Most likely the rooftop.

Alone.

_Everyone…. … _

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

**_SWIIIISH-CLANG! _**

Robin's door slams louder than expected.

He doesn't pay it much attention.

He stumbles into his room.

He stands before his cot.

He breathes… …breathes…

Slowly, he removes his cape.

He drapes it across the cot.

He reaches for his utility belt.

He fiddles with the latch.

Fiddles.. …fumbles…

Jerks….

"Nnnngh---"

Robin grits his teeth, yanks the belt off, and flings it hard against a book case. Spilling books. _**Th-Thrump!**I_

"DAMMIT!"

He shouts.

He bounds over to a bench and frustratingly kicks a few lab tools over. **_CRASH! _**

"DAMMIT, FRIES!"

He seethes… ….seethes… ..seethes…

Digs his gloved hands into his hair.

Pauses….

"… … … …"

And exhales.

"… .. ….bastard to the end.. …"

He slumps to his knees and hangs his head.

A lengthy silence permeates the air.. …

He then shuffles/crawls over towards a window.

He slumps against it and rests his hands on his haunches and sighs.

"… …. …. …"

He leans his face tyredly against the glass and drifts.. …drifts… …drifts…

But comes circling back to the same old sigh.

_"There's got to be a better way… .. …a better way around all of it… …. ….true salvation… .. …true vindication… .. …. … … …Dammit, Fries, was that what you were trying to prove? Or what I'm… .. …I-I'm just blowing up for no reason?" _

Silence.

Robin's gaze settles across the room.

He then stops as his masked eyes center on the clump of random objects kicked off his table.

Between the bits and pieces of lab equipment is a framed photo of him and Star on the deck of a cruise ship one purple night with Prom Night décor scattered all about. They are both smiling. Standing side by side. Close, perhaps, but not touching.

Never touching.

It strikes Robin then and there that the glass of the picture frame is broken straight down the middle of the two photo'd teens.

He only sighs and glares out the window.

_"…. … …I'm… ….. ….so exhausted… …." _


	82. Rooftop Rim

The rooftop of Titans Tower. It seemed like it had been my sanctuary forever. Maybe in another life. As usual, I went to the edge and reached into my pocket for my cigarettes. I stuck one between my lips and searched for my lighter.

"_I told you the first time we met that those things are bad for you."_

Zillah's voice in my head. I sighed and looked out at the horizon.

_...Maybe later._

I put the cigarette away and turned around. Without my habit, I was suddenly restless. I stuck my hands under my poncho and paced aimlessly across the roof.

I saw things I hadn't seen before. In the very middle of the roof there was painted a circular design...kinda like a target. It looked like an air pad, but I never knew the Titans had a plane. Maybe a helicopter. I'd have to ask later on.

There was a volleyball net on the far side. Not really my cup of tea. I went on and came up to a small shed. I tried the door, but it was locked. Something else to ask about.

There seemed to me there was way too many air conditioner units. But, then again, I figured it took a lot of them to heat and cool the whole of the tower. There were a fair amount of satellites and antennas, too. On a normal house or building, I'd believe they were just for television. But here...with Robin, Cyborg and now Virgil...there was no telling what they did. GPS, maybe. I had no idea about such things.

I came to a walled area with no roof. Curious, I climbed up to the top and took a peek. Though the steam, I saw a large engine, with pulleys and gears and cable. I realized it was the engine that made the elevator work. I looked at it a little closer, then. It seemed as if it might have been a while since anyone messed with it. Either it worked so well there was no need or...

That made me a little nervous, so I moved on.

I couldn't believe I'd never noticed the basketball goal before. I reckon you can see a lot more when you're not looking through a haze of smoke. I searched for the basketball and, sure enough, it was right nearby. I stepped over to it and picked it up, rolling it in my hands. I dribbled once or twice and, twenty feet away from the goal, I squared my shoulders and put up an arcing shot.

**CLANK!**

The ball hit the front rim. I chased it down, got back to my original spot and tried again.

**CLANK!**

This time off the back rim. The ball bounced right back to me. I'd once been the terror of the public court, but that had been some time ago. It was still coming back to me.

**CLANK-----SWISH!**

The ball hit the rim and rolled in. I retrieved it, ready for the game I'd used to play when I was younger. Some people buy those eight ball things where you shake it and look at the message on the bottom to answer your questions. My way is cheaper.

"My name is Bard."

I shot.

**CLANK!**

I thought.

"My name is Jonny."

**SWISH!**

Much better. I dribbled and set my feet again.

"I am a Teen Titan."

**SWISH!**

"Noir is my best friend."

**SWISH!**

So far, so good. I considered.

"...Lisa thinks of my rugged good looks and sexy ways."

**SWISH!**

"Heheheh." I took time gloat over that one.

"I'm the finest guitar picker this town has ever seen."

**SWISH!**

I grinned. I was starting to remember why I liked this game. My thoughts turned more serious.

"I...I will help Zillah."

I shot and something so rare happened that I'd only done it twice in my life. The ball hit the back iron and stayed there, perfectly balanced. It didn't fall in the basket, nor did it drop to the ground. I frowned. I got a two step start, jumped and tipped the ball to myself.

"All right...jury's still out on that one. I got ya."

I dribbled once or twice, my mind on something else.

I looked back up at the goal.

"I belong here."

I shot-

**CLANK!**

"..."

I watched the ball bounce off the rim and roll across the ground, but I didn't move to go get it.

Oh, well. It was only a stupid game, after all.

I folded my arms across my chest and looked to the side. I took in a deep breath.

_Maybe..._

_Maybe I'll have that cigarette, after all._


	83. Static Cling

"Wait….Wait!" Terra leans forward with a quasi-nasty glare from across the lunch table. "Are you trying to insist I'm anorexic?"

"Mmm-Mmm," Lisa shakes her head with a mouthful of chicken salad. She gulps and point: "Only that bones were meant to have meat around them, or else they'd all be hanging out in Australia workin' as boomerangs."

"Yeesh, thanks a lot!" Terra rolls her eyes and rests back, swiveling a glass of apple juice around. "Here I am at a house full of beauty pageant entrees and the only person I can talk to has the gall to say I've got chicken legs."

"I didn't say you had chicken legs," Lisa chomps on some more salad and gestures on: "But a good hen might faint at the sight of those elbows of yours."

"Pffft… …," Terra rolls her eyes. "You're awfully nice today."

"Mmmm…You want me to be mean to you?" Lisa winks her one eye. "Then I'd encourage you to eat nothing but crackers and apple juice like you have been for the past two days! I think you're the only sane person here. Screw the rest of these lady-scarecrows trying to pass themselves off as princesses!"

"Shhh—Th-They can hear you.. …!"

"Let them! It's a free country to screw up! Hey! Yeah, you, Ginger! You gonna have that dressing---THANK YOU!" Lisa takes the bottle and spreads some ranch over her salad. "Mmmm….Besides. We both know that you're not here for beauty pageanting. Though I bet you'd do a better job at it, there are more important things in this world. Right?"

"R-Right… …."

"But, this is kinda sorta like a vacation for you, ain't it?" Lisa leans forward with half-a-smirk. "Away from the annoying boy teammates… …. ….A break from the action… … … …less villains to deal with—well, unless you count me."

"Hehehe…," Terra smiles bashfully and brushes a strand of 'brown' hair up over her earlobe. "I'm only here because of a villain. If Mad Mod should ever show up, I guess I'm here to—like—save the girls here and stuff."

"Feh. You can let a good two-thirds of them fall into that British Bastard's jaws for all I care. Who knows? It might scare them to raid a buffet. Speaking of which.. …," Lisa points. "Once we're out of this joint, remind me to invite you over to my friend Hope's loft apartment. She can bake a cheesecake like nobody's business. Assuming—of course—that Mister Robin Red-Breast lets you go out to freaky goth girls' parties beyond curfew."

"Hehehe… …I-I just might take you up on that invitation."

"Allrighty then."

"Y-You've been very kind and understanding to me since I got here, Lisa."

"Well, that's nifty to hear," Lisa glances around malignantly at the thinning crowd of eating pageant members in the sequester house's commissary. "Personally, I wanted to hang around with you cuz this place is boring as Hell. Looks like I got the intelligent side of the bargain." She munches on more salad. "Mmmm.. …. …who knew so much about Poe….?"

"Well.. …. …not nearly half as much as R-Raven knows," Terra shrugs. "I had a few books when I was out in the wilderness."

"You read when out on your own?"

"… … …I had a flashlight."

"I see. I might be a Cyclops, but I see you're a resourceful gal."

"Why thank you, and if I may ask, Lisa… …"

"You certainly can try."

Terra leans forward, blue eyes squinting. "Just what in the blue fluff are you doing in a pretty, pink place like this?"

"…mmmf….You really wanna know?"

Terra blinks.

Lisa rolls her one eye. "Your damn cowboy friend roped me into this."

"Really?"

"—Or should I say 'lassoed'… …"

"Why would Bard want to get you stuck into a beauty pageant?"

"Well.. …," Lisa leans back in her chair. "… …kinda like he implied, he's probably wanting me to overcome my social inhibition and embrace the beauty which is my superficial and internal self through public display."

"… … ….really?"

"Hell no!" Lisa frowns. "He's just pissed that I whipped his arcade ass at Superhero Smackdown! This place is a hellhole, and he knew it from the start!"

"Ah jeez…."

"But it's okay, I'm plotting my revenge."

Terra gulps and leans forward. "How so?"

Lisa leans back, kicks up her leg, and slams it down on the table—frightening a few shrieking femmes nearby. The boot is steel-tipped with a freshly spray-painted: 'How's Your Father' emblazoned upon it.

"Ever heard a cowboy sing soprano?"

"Hehehehehehe."

"Heh heh heh," Lisa smirked and slid her leg back down while biting into more salad. "Mmmm… …. …Speaking of concerto competition.. … …"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Static slowly strolls into the infirmary.

He looks through the cracked door.

"…. … …."

He quietly makes his way in. He walks to the bed where Starfire is sitting, looking out through the wide-stretching windows. The Dakota hero rolls in a wheeled chair, sits reversely in it, and calmly looks up at the Tamaranian besides him. "What's up?"

".. … ..the ceiling is of the up, Virgil."

His lips curve ever so slightly. "You've been quiet ever since we returned from the battle at H.I.V.E."

"Truly, everyone has been quiet since our return," Starfire quietly states. "You. Bard… … … ..R-Robin… …. …"

Static says nothing.

Starfire looks gently towards him. "Virgil, do you suppose that Robin has experienced something traumatic? That he was witness to something unspeakable and it is because of that he is--?"

"Robin's always one to do the silent treatment," Static says. "I'm still technically a noobie and even **I** know that." He gently rests a hand on her shoulder. "As for you… …I'm concerned."

Starfire slowly lowers her eyelids. "Dearest Virgil, whatever may or may not be assailing me is surely something that I shall verily make amends with myself over—"

"It's about Flaar, isn't it?" Static breathes. "Star, look, I know it must be disappointing. Crushing. I mean, we went through all that trouble—the whole damn trip just to find him. And he ends up smacking us in the face."

She cringes ever so slightly.

A beat.

Static bears a brave smile. "Well, you should know something. It was a terrible shame you had to pass out the way you did before it all went down—but—we did get through to him, Star."

She opens her eyes slightly and looks curiously at him.

He nods. "Yeah. Maybe it was for a fraction of a moment. And maybe I had to cuss him out some while you were under… .. …" He winces slightly at that. "… … …but something we had said got to him. He was shocked. Regretful. And—if I may so—ever so slightly inspired. I bet I would have talked him into waltzing home with us hadn't Chang been the usual bastard and intervened with his red-fart-ray."

"I must apologize, Virgil, but I find that declaration difficult to consume."

"'Hard to chew'?"

She sighs. "Yes… …. …."

"'Nova'm'."

Starfire's ears perk. She looks curiously at him. "H-Huh?"

Static slowly stands up and paces over to the window. "That's what he said his name was… …" A pause. He glances back over his shoulder. "Somehow, he suddenly remembered it. Or remembered to say it. Whatever… …" He shrugs and looks out the window. "… …that name mean anything special?"

Starfire's lips purse. She eyes the floor, the walls, the spaces between. "… …it means… …it means great joy."

"Really?"

"To me."

Static nods toward the window. "I was hoping you'd realize that, someway, somehow, you reached him. He may not be a lost cause yet, Star---"

Static stops as soon as he feels a strong pair of feminine arms hugging him from behind. He blinks and glances back. "St-Star?"

"… … ..," she smiles, gently burying her face in the back of his shoulders. A breath. "I am so happy, Static. Truly, I am… ..," she calmly murmurs.

Static fidgets a bit. "Gee, Star. I kinda felt that you'd be worried about him getting away and—"

"Static.. …. …do not tell anyone what I am about to tell you, although I doubt that the Titans—the old Titans—are foreign to the reality," she slowly raises her face to glance at him. ".. …. …but it has been a while since I felt this 'hope' in the team."

Static blinks. He smiles awkwardly: "I had no idea… …"

Starfire glances away. "Not many do. Beast Boy downplays it. Cyborg fights it. Raven absorbs it and Robin.. .. ….Robin seems content to ignore it." She looks up and smiles. "But the likes of you, Bard, and Noir have reminded me what it means to look at what we do through the eyes of the novice and innocent. You are right, Virgil. We did reach out to fair young Nova'm, did we not? And we saved so many children and stopped so many evil individuals—This has been a glorious week. A most glorious week indeed."

Static nods and chuckles: "You think we should do something about it?"

Starfire takes a deep breath. She is hovering one inch above the ground and hugging herself in a sudden warmth. "We should continue.. …. …"

"Continue what?"

"Hehehe.. …. …Being what we are….."


	84. Chinese Chilli Dogs

I walked into the main room of Titans Tower, feeling a lot more tired than I should. I looked at the futon, reconsidered and plopped down on the couch instead. I didn't feel up to a round two with Raven. I propped up my boots and laid back, resting my head on the arm rest. I propped my hat forward over my eyes. I really needed to relax. Forget about everything and just relax.

I settled in deeper and closed my eyes.

"Beast Boy!" Cyborg thundered at the top of his lungs. "Stop moping!"

I winced.

"I'm trying, dude!" Beast Boy whined just as loud. "But...Terra!"

I groaned under my breath. This was one of the downsides to living with nothing but teenagers. I took a moment to remind myself that _I_ was a teenager, too.

"I'm telling you, dawg! You can't be with the girl every minute of every day!"

"...But I want to."

Cyborg sighed.

Moving as little as possible, I pushed my hat up with one finger just enough to peek under the brim. Cyborg was in the kitchen, making a sandwich. Beast Boy stood disconsolately beside him. He turned to me-

I let the hat fall back down.

"Dude, I didn't even notice Bard in here." I heard Beast Boy say. "I hope we didn't wake him up."

The refrigerator door shut.

"Nah, we didn't wake him up."

Fooled'em...

"He was never asleep to begin with." Cyborg finished. "He's faking."

I started. I sat up and pushed my cowboy hat to where it belonged. I turned and looked at him.

"How in the world did you know that?"

Cyborg laughed and tapped his chest.

"I've got more sensors than you can shake a lasso at, cowboy!" He winked. "You were holding your breath."

"Huh..." I blinked. "Reckon I'll have to keep that in mind for when we play poker." I looked at Beast Boy. "You missing Terra?"

"Ugh..." Cyborg put a metal hand over his eyes. "Don't remind me."

"Ya know, I might be going out on a limb here but..." I scratched my chin. "I assume the place she's at _does_ have a phone."

Beast Boy stared at me.

I looked back.

**SWOOSH!**

In a blur of green Beast Boy ran out of the room.

"ThanksBardbye!"

I shook my head and couldn't help but smile.

Cyborg slathered mayonnaise on a sub bun.

I shuddered.

"All right, man. I've waited long enough. What happened yesterday?"

I sighed. I didn't want to think about it right now.

"You can't leave us in the dark forever."

I sat up straighter and yawned for no good reason.

"Robin could tell you better than me."

"Yeah, well...He won't." Cyborg looked at me. "You're stuck with the job, it looks like."

"Ain't that just fine and dandy?" I took in a deep breath and told him the story as much as I knew. About Fraust hooking up with Static and Starfire and, later on. Mister Freeze. About the fight with Michael, Simon and Leslie...Hull, Silverflare and Pulsade...and the eventual teaming up with them. The raid on the Neo HIVE facility with Booker and Chang and Mammoth and Gizmo and Kyd Wikkyd and Red-X. I skipped the part with Zillah. It wasn't important.

"What about the actual rescue?" Cyborg said after I was finished. "You were kinda vague on that."

The corners of my mouth tightened.

"I was off chasing a few baddies. I wasn't there for it."

"Sounds like ya'll were busy."

"Amen." I said under my breath.

"So," Cyborg chomped into his triple-layered sandwich. "Who were you chasing?"

I hesitated-

Beast Boy walked back into the room with a phone pressed into his ear.

"Terra! So good to hear your voice!"

We could plainly hear Terra giggle from the other side. Beast Boy must have had the volume all the way up or something.

"I've only been gone for a day!"

"One day too long!"

"Heheheh!"

Over her giggling, we heard a retching sound in the background.

"Um..." Beast Boy scratched his neck with his free hand. "One of the contestants getting ready for the pageant...?"

"Nu-uh. It's just Bard's girlfriend, Lisa. You're too sweet for her."

"Lisa?" I repeated. "Who's-" I guess a lot had happened. I suddenly remembered and felt like a fool because of it. "Oh yeah, I-" I stopped again. "SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

Then, from the phone:

"...-NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

I sweat dropped as everyone laughed around me. I folded my arms across my chest.

"...Shush."

They didn't.

TTTTTTTTTT

Detective Decker stepped into Walker's tiny office and plopped a greasy bag on his dented desk.

"I can't believe you actually enjoy eating that shit." Decker grunted. "Your vein's gonna get clogged up faster than a blonde working girl at a French whorehouse."

Walker reached into the bag and chomped into an overflowing chili dog.

"If I wanted someone to bitch at me, I'd remarry." He said around a mouth full of meat and grease. "Holly's bad enough as it is."

Decker groaned even as he reached into a box of noodles with a pair of chopsticks.

"Don't wanna hear about your damn daughter."

"You're just jealous cause you don't have any kids."

"Bullshit!" Decker breathed. "It's a damn blessing. I don't have to mess with any snot-nosed kids that look as ugly as me."

"Yeah, well, my daughter's the most beautiful girl on the planet as far as I'm concerned."

"She didn't get from you, that's for damn sure."

Walker picked some chilli out of his mustache.

"Hell no. Got it from her mother."

"Yeah..."

They ate in silence for a few minutes, Walker at his desk and Decker leaning against the wall.

"I'm worried about her." Walker mumbled gruffly, barely audible. "If something happened to her..."

"I know."

"I tried to get her to quit the pageant, but the girl's as stubborn as I am."

"..." Decker slurped up noodles.

Walker suddenly slammed his fist down on the table, sending mustard packets flying.

"Damn it!" Walker snarled. "I just wish I knew what that ass clown Brit was up to! If he hurts my little girl, I'll frickin' kill him and then bring him back so I can kill his ass again."

"Relax. All this worrying won't mean anything if you have damn heart attack."

"...That doesn't sound to bad right now."

"Shut the hell up and let's get to work."

Walker looked up. He blinked.

"Ahem...righto." He paused. "Why can't I quit you?"

"Cause it takes a bastard to love a bastard. Now let's get some damn work done so we can bust Mod's ass."

"Yes sir."


	85. This Bird Has Flown

Raven walks… ..hovers… … …'glides' through the Tower's hallways. She is making her way past the infirmary, but pauses momentarily to glance in on a certain Starfire. The movement and the observation is swift, for—as it turns out—Starfire is not only recovering from her bruises but she is not alone. A certain Static sits on the edge of the exam bed besides her and the two talk. Their legs dangling side by side. As innocent as can be.

'Innocent'.

Raven doesn't know whether to wince or smirk. As always, she chooses the safe route—not necessarily inbetween, but around. She emotes nothing.

Swishing about in her robe, she turns and heads gracefully down the remainder of the hallway.

Something dark and smoky catches the peripheral of her vision.

She stops with a jerk and glances over her shoulder. A dark eyebrow is raised as two violet pupils calmly grace the length of the hall.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

"…. … …."

Raven walks over to a wall.

She gently presses her palm against it.

She slowly shuts her eyes and meditates.

A slight gray glow flickers around her and is gone again.

Then—in another beat—her eyelids lift open. A breath, and she glances _down_.

_Down _through the floors.

Down through the floors of the Tower.

"…. …. …"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I do not know that I am asleep until I am being awoken by a gentle but persistent knocking on my basement bedroom door.

I stir atop my small bed. I have plopped down across the top blanket, fully clothed and all. I never even bothered with the covers.

The knocking continues.

I sit up with half a gasp and settle as the blood flow returns to normal in my skull. All the while, faint… …smoky images of underground H.I.V.E. passageways and torture laboratories fade from recent memory.

If I had vocal cords, I would be groaning. I run a hand through my bushied hair, swivel out of bed, leap down, and trudge over towards the door of knockingness.

_Creeeeak. _

Raven.

I do a double-take.

_Her again? _

"Having trouble sleeping?"

I shake my head. Halfway through, I wince—for I realize as much as she does that I'm lying.

"Noir… …. …I must inquire," Raven drones. A gentle gesture of the feminine hand: "Are you doing well? Or is there something troubling you?"

I gulp, a little in confusion and a little in discomfort. I look up towards her—for she is _almost_ at eye-level with me, but not quite. She'd make a great counselor if only she wasn't so… …_I dunno_… … …_pale? _

I shrug, scratch the back of my neck, and start hand-signing. But soon I realize it's a fruitless effort to answer her.

_Then is it not all the more fruitless an effort for her to ask such things of me?_

_What's going on here?_

_What's the big picture?_

_What am I missing? _

"Noir, ever since you and the other four returned from the recent operations in the wilderness, the proverbial cat has got your tongues," Raven dictates. "Static and Starfire aren't talking because they only know as much as their little run-in with Flaar will tell them. Bard isn't talking because of a stubborn, cowboy resistance to all things with half the ego that he's got. Robin knows more than he cares to share, but is using his authoritative initiative not to reveal it. And you?" She leans her head slightly to the side. "I believe you know something about the recent excursion, but are too afraid to share it. Because everyone around you is for the first time—like you—_'mute'_."

I gulp. I glance aside with a shudder.

_What can I tell her?_

_I don't know what it is that Robin saw down there with Mister Freeze!_

_I don't know what sent Bard off and running into the night when things got heated at the last second!_

_I only know that…. …that…._

_That Red X isn't the Red X that we thought he was._

_Or is he?_

_A suit?_

_A robot?_

_What is he?_

_Never mind 'who'—What?_

_But I've fought with Red X, and so has Robin. He's a 'who', not a 'what'…… …right?_

"Noir, I cannot force you to do so, but I think that it would be a smart decision to go and talk with Robin about this," Raven says.

I smile nervously. A sweatdropping.. … …

"Who knows…?" She drones—mostly to herself this time. "Maybe this can start bridging the godawful gap in communication that has afflicted all of us at this time."

I shrug. I hand-sign nervously. I consider trying to tell _her_ about Red X. But—_who am I kidding?_

_She's right._

_Robin it is, then… _

I motion 'upstairs' and point out the door to my basement bedroom.

She nods and—with a swish of her cape—shows me the way. "Good boy. After you."

I take a brave breath and start my trek upstairs to Robin's room—

But Raven's hand rests on my shoulder.

I shudder to a stop. Blinking black eyes. _Her hand is so soft—yet so commanding. I don't know whether to be scared or--? _

"Noir… …I am…. …how-should-I-say-it… … …concerned."

I turn and glance at her wyrdly.

_Raven?_

_Concerned?_

_How out of character is that?_

_Pffft….damn fourth wall— _

"Please answer me, if you can," she says gently. "Have you truly been having a hard time sleeping lately?"

I squint my eyes at her. Then blink in thought…

_Heh…_

_'Trouble sleeping'…. …_

_Does going to bed and not worrying about waking up in the morning considered 'troublesome'?_

_Aye, there I go being melodramatic again._

_I have no trouble sleeping._

_I just… …I just…. …_

_I think of nice, beautiful things. And I can relax._

_Like a good song. A day out in the warm breeze._

_Fei-Yan… … _

"…. .. ….," I glance confusedly at Raven's hand on my shoulder.

She glances as well, shakes off the perplexity, and steps back. "Never the matter. I am simply wanting to make sure you're looked out for."

I nod with a strategically sarcastic smile.

_Isn't every freakin' one these days? _

Together, we ascend.


	86. Southern Manners

I have a simple philosophy when it comes to talking to someone on the phone. You answer it/call someone, say what you have to say and then you hang up. Period. Short and sweet.

Lisa didn't subscribe to that philosophy.

My ear started to sweat as I risked my skin to interrupt.

"Um...so what was it you needed again."

"_Nu-uh. You're not getting off that easy. I still haven't finished telling why I hate this place and, to a lesser degree, **you**."_

I groaned.

"Couldn't you like...send me an email?"

"_Do you have an email?"_

"Uh..."

"_That's what I thought. So, anyway...where was I? The girls here, except Terra, are all anorexic snobs that think their crap don't stink like everyone else's. You're a turtle when playing Smackdown Superheroes. Madame Pufton is so full of hot air she could make it around the world in eighty days. Cowboy hats went out of style in the nineties-"_

"Hey, hey, hey!" I cut in. "Say what you want about me, but the leave the hat out of it."

I could hear Lisa roll her eye.

"Bard!" Beast Boy tugged on my poncho. "I wanna talk to Terrrraaaa!"

"Trust me, I"m making this as quick as possible."

Satisfied for the next minute or so, the changeling plopped down on the couch. I turned back to the reciever.

"Could you _please_ just get to the point? _Please?_"

Lisa huffed.

"_Fine. It'll be more fun to tell you in person, anyway."_

I winced at that.

"_I need you to come to the mall with me and help me pick out the outfits I'll have to wear for the stupid pageant."_

"Can't your girlfriends help you?"

"_I need a man's opinion. Most of the judges are guys."_

I sucked it up.

"What all outfits do you need?"

"_An evening gown, a outfit for the talent portion and a swimsuit."_

I swallowed.

"Uh...a swimsuit?"

I remembered to breath again.

"_Yes, a swimsuit-"_ She stopped. _"On second thought, maybe I'll get the girls to help me with that. You'd probably just pick the skimpiest string bikini."_

I coughed.

"Yeah...well...so would Janice."

Lisa laughed at that and, for once, she didn't sound bitter.

I rather enjoyed it.

TTTTTTTTTT

"_Good afternoon and welcome back to TBEP News, you choice for reliable, always updated news. I'm Vincent Caprelli-"_

"_And I'm Marilyn Chen."_

"_One day until the fabled annual Jump City Beauty Pageant and already there are concerns. A few days ago the Britain villain, Mad Mod, publicly threatened the pageant. However, his plans are unclear._

"_That's right, Vincent. Commissioner Ashley was quoted saying the pageant will go on as planned, but we've received reports that the police presence there will be quite extensive._

"_Have we heard any reports on any involvement from the Teen Titans?"_

"_None yet, Vincent. But I, and I'm confident enough to speak for all the citizens of Jump City, believe they're doing all they can to assure our safety."_

"_Of course. Now, for the weekend weather report, we go to Ryan Johnson. We going to get any rain at the pageant this year, Ryan?"_

"_Well-"_

The banter continued on between the three, playing on the dozen televisions in the storefront window of an electronics place. Most people walking by gave it no mind. Others merely glanced.

I was part of the first group.

**VROOOoommmm!**

I rocketed down the road on the Harley I'd _borrowed_ from Neo Hive. Well...more like the second one I'd borrowed. The first one was a pile of shrapnel somewhere. I stopped at a red light, tossed a cigarette to the ground and continued on.

My Harley idled to a stop in front of the Etiquette School where the pageant contestants were staying. The place looked like it was built before the fireworks at Fort Sumter. I dismounted and swaggered up the cobblestone walk, only to be met at the front door by a portly woman with her hair tied conservatively in a bun.

"Barbaric!" She outraged with a red face. "To ride such a thing. It's loud and uncouth."

I rubbed my sore ear.

"I reckon that's about like the pot calling the kettle black, don't you think?" The dozen girls behind her giggle into their hands. Except for Lisa, who just looked at me strangely.

The woman turned and glared. The giggling stopped. She looked back at me. If she was outraged before, she was livid now.

"Have you no manners? I am Madame Pufton! Show some respect!"

"I beg your pardon, ma'am." I tipped my hat with two fingers. "I'm just an uncivilized southern boy from beneath the Mason Dixon. Around those parts, we show respect and manners with a bit of hospitality. Yelling at folks before they even walk in your door ain't too gentle-like, is it?"

Madame Pufton boiled. The girls behind her could barely contain their snickers.

"I also don't take too kindly to being called 'boy'. Folks have names for a reason, after all, ma'am."

I might have pushed it too far that time. Madame Pufton looked like her eyes were gonna pop out of her head. But before they could, Lisa slithered by her.

"He's the one taking me shopping, Madame. We'll be back soon!" She literally dragged me to the bike. I got on, turned and helped her to sit beside me.

Madame Pufton stomped towards us like a bull on the loose. She opened her mouth for the the longest, most scathing tirade of her life-

**VROOOOOOM!**

I smirked, looked at her and pointed to my ear.

Madame Pufton shouted all the louder, but to no avail.

Lisa leaned forward next to my ear to talk over the revving motor.

"I don't think I hate you quite as much now."

"Huh...well ain't I just the luckiest guy in the world?"

"Shut up."

We drove off, leaving Madam Pufton in a pile of dust.

**VROOM!**


	87. Wrongful Suit

Robin sits back in a chair inside his lofty room. His gloved fingers are folded together in a studious fashion. He finishes reading what I have to 'say', and once the empty-aired gesturing is complete on my end.. ...he leans forward and murmurs in a serious breath:

"Well it certainly is strange.. ...if not alarming," he shifts a bit where he sits and stares at the floor. "... ... ...That was most certainly the real Red X. It certainly didn't act like a doppelganger. And as impulsive as Professor Chang proves himself to be, he wouldn't so easily mistake the wrong thief when Xenothium's involved. H.I.V.E. was after Red X for a reason. And they got them. And when we caught up with them.. ... ..." The team leader's voice lingers.

I shudder nervously where I stand. I glance aside with curious black eyes.

Cyborg and Raven stand side by side. Like suddenly stiff soldiers at permanent attention.

It strikes me as odd. Eerily odd. I suddenly feel very comfortable in here...

"You are certain that you heard a voice after you lifted Red X's helmet?" Robin's eyemask squints. "Even if there was no face beneath the mask?"

I slowly nod. I hand-sign.

He reads. Then says: "An electronic voice?"

"He's always spoken with that garbled sound," Cyborg points. "Ever since day one when he was trying to steal Xenothium all over town."

"Are you sure _that is_ day one?" Raven remarks--

Robin clears his throat and glares at her.

She says nothing further.

I glance curiously between them all.

_What's going on here...?_

"Thank you for your report, Noir," Robin nods. "You may go about your business now."

I blink.

_Um... ..._

_What just happened--?_

"That is, you're excused, Noir..."

I glance again at the senior Titans.

Robin, Cyborg, Raven--they are all staring blankly at me. Waiting.

I wince.

_Oh._

_That's right._

_'Nooby'_.

I turn around, and graciously walk out of the Boy Wonder's abode.

_Schwissh!_

Half a second of naked silence.

Robn, Cyborg, and Raven stand. Almost drifting...

_Schwisssh!_

They're alone.

Immediately, Cyborg turns to Robin. "Well?"

Robin sighs. He slowly gets up. His feet shuffle his tyred body over towards the wide-stretching window and he gazes out onto the tinted world. He folds his arms behind his back. The myriad of cross-beams and balancing bridges stretched above him cast a mosaic of geometric shadows across the gloomy room.

Cyborg further shrugs: "No use in hidin' it, dude. We've talked about this sort of thing before. Didn't you once hypothesize it?"

"Yes... ...," Robin nods without looking back. ".. ...or maybe _you_ did."

"Okay, so we both did. But Noir's not one to lie--right? He just told us he _saw **nothing**_ under Red X's mask! And yet that suit was very much **alive** and **kicking**." Cyborg shuffles over. "Robin, man, there was never any thief stealin' the Red X tech to begin with! That explains how your vault was broken into, how the Tower's defenses were messed up, and how Red X seems so damn resilient to all kinds of mother effin' abuse!"

"All of these facts are coming together well," Robin shakes his head. "Almost too well.. ..." He turns and squints back at Cyborg through the corner of his eyemask. "What if there's something we havne't considered? Maybe Chang or Booker infused the electromagnetic signature of the wearer into the suit during the Xenothium-inhibited torture sessions or something--"

"Ockham's razor, dawg."

"Yeah, I know," Robin sighs and runs a hand through his spiked hair. "The suit has always exhibited an artificiality. Its quick, programmed precision. Its incessant, unquenchable thirst for the power of Xenothium to power itself up... ..." His lips linger. He turns and looks at Raven. ".. ...tell me again, Raven. Have you ever--even once--sensed anything fr--"

"And I tell you again, Robin," Raven drones. "It isn't that simple. Red X is as much a living thing to me as he is to you, Cyborg, Starfire--and the rest." She gently gesures with a hand. "My powers can't always determine the nature of every single foe we encounter. Besides..." She glares slightly. "Everytime I've gotten so much as **near** Red X, he's complicated the empathic process by ritualistically kicking my butts. Yours too."

"Right... ..No argument there."

"Ain't it obvious?" Cyborg shrugs, then points. "It's you, Robbie."

"... ... ..."

"He's **you**."

Robin takes a deep breath, hearing something he has already heard before. Or at least--something he has already _assumed_ before.

Cyborg shuffles across the room, speaking: "The Red X suit that you and Chang constructed? It was too whacked out on Xenothium, man. You pumped that thing so much full of the red juice in your obsessive attempts to capture Slade that--not only couldn't you properly _dispose_ of the dangerous material, but you sure as Hell couldn't get the Xenothium reactions inside of that thing to quiet down neither! All of your angst, all of your desperation, all of your fighting spirit, your training, yuor temper, your white-knuckled intensity in wanting to defeat Slade--it was all pumped into the very fabric of that Xenothium-soaked suit everytime you jacked into it, man. And with your nervous system so 'intimately' linked with the electro-synthesized functions of the machine, there's no WAY any of those badass _emotions_ got filtered OUT of the transfer process! In the end, I think you just had yourself a baby, Robin. A hardcore, badass, Xenothium bastard of a baby."

Robin grits his teeth and clenches his fist--"Cyborg, must you be so.. ..."

"What, assholish?"

"I was going to say 'poetic', but sure," Robin sighs. "I admit that I have long wanted to deny this inevitability. But that's my first mis--" He pauses, winces, and groans: "**--second** mistake. I went into the 'Red X' project thinking I could bring Slade down. Instead.. ..." Robin shudders. ".. ...I seem to have brought an entirely new villain **up**."

"He even has your voice, dawg," Cyborg points. "Electronically garbled or not, you can't deny that."

Robin doesn't. He's silent. Unstirring.

Cyborg sighs. "Look, man. I ain't tryin' to come down on you. We all saw this coming. And Lord knows we've all learned to forgive and forget about a lot of things--_especially_ the whole Red X thang. But we should have come to this conclusion about the Red X suit a long, long time ago. It shouldn't have come down to him being captured and tormented by the likes of this 'Neo H.I.V.E.' crap. And before you start on your 'responsible leadership' binge--it's not just your fault. We all could have done something to step out on the plate and tried to reason with this artificial life form."

"There _is_ no reasoning with 'it'," Robin grunts. His features are hard. Rigidly stern as he speaks as much to himself as to the other two Titans present. "It's not just some 'ghost in a bottle' doppelganger of my own, transfused psyche. It's the _ugly_ side of me. The parts of me that I've fought so long in training, heroism, and dedication to _suppress_. The part of me that doesn't listen to the rules, that doesn't care about the welfare or livelihood of others, that doesn't know what lines or boundaries to stop at." He sighs. ".. ...and it is a gray, gray line that both Red X and I tread. One that blurs the recognition between good and evil. Right and wrong."

"So you think that the difference between you and Red X is some sort of wyrdass 'good twin' / 'evil twin' thing?" Cyborg blinks. "That Red X would do nothing but bad things?"

"Hardly, Cyborg," Robin stares at him. "I meant that Red X simply doesn't **care**." He points at himself. "**I** care. And he **doesn't**. That's what makes him dangerous."

"Robin, you hold an infinite respect for what is just and what is virtuous," Raven speaks, forcing the two men to gaze her way. "It is not simply something you have been trained to recognize. But is something inherently true about you as a person." She gently nods her head. "And _that_... ...I **can** sense."

Robin takes a deep breath and nervously rubs the back of his neck. "I can only hope you're right, Raven.. ..."

A beat of silence...

"Well, look," Cyborg gestures. "So we know we're on the right track for once when it comes to Red X. And from what Noir said, he's back on the loose again. Only--after what Booker and Chang put him through, I can only imagine he's needing more Xenothium as a pick-me-up. So--with your permission of course, bird boy--I was gonna spend the day setting up this sensor transmission I had planned long ago to possibly _catch_ Red X in the process of pilfering Xenothium samples. Now that I know I can rule out the presence of biological signatures, I might be able to get a proper reading of--say--seventy percent greater efficiency."

Robin lethargically waves him on. "You go and do that, Cyborg--"

"I mean, if he's part of you and you're part of him--Just _what_ would you be up to right now? I mean, after having gone through the crap at Neo H.I.V.E. and--"

"How in the Hell would I know that?" Robin snaps. "Cyborg, just do what you do best and let **science** speak the volumes that need to be said."

Cyborg blinks. A sweatdrop. "Well, alright!" He clears his throat, swivels about, and marches out the room. "A-hunting science will go!"

_Schwisssh!_

"... ... ..."

_Schwisssh!_

"... .. ... ... .. ... ...," Robin turns and gazes across the room.

For Raven has not left. She stands there. Silently gazing at him.

"Something left for me to cringe at?" the team leader inquisitvely murmurs.

"I was hoping you would tell me," Raven drones.

"Raven, what more needs to be said?" Robin gestures. "The secret of Red X is out in the open now. And--I'm sure you can believe me--it was **not** a secret that even _I_ totally knew about--"

"This doesn't concern Red X," Raven softly says. "It's about mroe than that." She gestures. "It's about what happened at Neo H.I.V.E."

"... ... ..."

"It's about what you saw down there. What it is you're not telling us."

"If it was worth knowing, I would have briefed it to the team," Robin says coldly.

"... ... ...Does Bard know?"

"No, Bard does not know," Robin grumbles. He points: "Raven, just go about your business. I've got--"

"What have you got, Robin? Research to do? Strategic battle planning?"

"As we speak, Mad Mod is threatening the City and we haven't even got a game plan to--"

"Do you seriously think you can concentrate on such things right now?"

"Not with you in here giving me a frickin' examination. Raven, since when did you turn counselor--?"

"And since when did you turn into such a hermit?" Raven speaks. A leaning of her head to the side: "Or more accurately, since when did you _turn back_ into a hermit?"

"... ... ...," Robin gazes off.

Raven shuffles around to his side, speaking: "You have, haven't you? In the last few months... ... ...Ever since our big defeat of the Brotherhood of Evil. Ever since our allies joined and left us. You've been more silent. Brooding. Secretive. Robin...," Raven gently says: "...we may be ever so few in numbers, but we are _still_ the Titans. We still _stand_ for something good and just in this world. Never did I know that was true than the day you and the rest of us defeated my evil father and showed me--_you_, Robin--**personally** showed me just how much hope there was left in this world. That isn't a peace that comes out on its own fruition. That is a victory achieved by brave souls. Achieved through hard work, virtuous dedication, and an irrefutable fighting spirit. There is always.. ..._always_ hope for this world, Robin. But there is very little chance in saving that hope... ... ..when we keep secrets and blind our path to one another."

Robin's answer is so immediate that it takes Raven by surprise: "What if the world _doesn't want_ saving?"

Raven blinks. Her lips purse: "... ...what?"

Robin shakes his head. "I dunno. Maybe I'm confused."

"That's a cop-out."

"It's the **truth**," Robin turns and glares. "Raven, as much as I love lectures, I really need some time to think right now."

"Think or brood?"

"Pick one."

"Cute attitude," Raven walks back towards the door. "You keep making excuses to hide yourself away in these dark, depressing rooms, and you'll end up worse than me. You'll be like the Robin that unwittingly spawned the Red X in the first place."

"Tell me something I don't know."

_Schwissh!_ "As much as I am amused by the idea of biting off your head in return, I think I will refrain," Raven drones. "I know you're a guy, Robin. And like most guys when things aren't going well with their teammates, they shut themselves off."

Robin groans. "This has absolutely NOTHING to do with Starfire and Static."

"Did I say it did?" _Scwhissh!_

Robin does a double-take, only to grace a solid, shut door. "... ... ..." He slumps back down in a chair. Limp. Gazing blankly into naked space...

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"To where are you presently going?" Starfire inquires.

Static hovers up on a metal disc at the edge of the Titan's Tower. He hoists a bag over his shoulder, glances back at Starfire, and smirks. "Home. I'm already late enough as it is. I'm lucky if my pop doesn't ground me for the next eon!"

Starfire leans her head innocently to the side, red hair blowing in the wind. "I do not understand. Are not your heroic endeavors worthy of your parental guardian's laud?"

"It's...," Static winces. "It's a c-complicated thing, Starfire. My family--They ain't all that _informed_ about my whole 'superhero of Dakota City' thing. If they were, I probably wouldn't be allowed to go on about saving lives by myself or with y'all like I always do! I know they wouldn't understand them if I just flat-out told them, so.. ...heh.. ...it ain't something I'm all too particularly proud of, but--HEY--it's a living. Ya know?"

"So then, you are--"

"'Football camp'," Static winks. "It explains why I'm away for so many days in sumemr and also--eh heh heh..." He pats a bruise on his upper arm. ".. ...explains some of the scrapes I get, butting heads with evil."

"Hee hee hee. Most certainly so..."

"So, as the ritual goes, Starfire. Back to the ranch. Back to my--uhhh--alter ego! Haha! Yup, that's right. The secret one, of course. The one not even you and the Titans know--"

"Do you refer to 'Virgil Ovid Hawkins'?"

"DAH! Damn that Robin!" Static gnashes his teeth. "Awwwww man! You mean y'all even know the middle and _last_ name **too**?"

"Tee hee hee."

"Dang it all... ...That's whack! I might as well plaster that on my friggin' forehead at this rate! Next thing you know, I'll be 'Virgil the Electrocutor'! I'd be just like Sidney Portier in "The Heat of the Night", only instead of slappin' that old white dude in the greenhouse, he'd be zappin' his nads off."

"Heehee," Starfire clutches her tummy, floating. "Ohhhhh Virgil. You are most certainly a humerous and warm-hearted friend."

Static blinks at that. He smiles nervously. "Eheh...Y-Yeah. A friend. Best Dakota-loaned-friend you'll ever find! Heh! Th-That'd be me!"

Starfire leans her head to the side. "Hmm? Is something amiss?"

"Oh, n-no," he scratches the back of his neck. "I just... ..uh... ...T-Thought.. ...St-Started to think, uh... ...That... ..M-Maybe that... ...erm..."

She stares at him innocently. Quietly blinking.

He bites his lip, then smiles a flashy smile. "N-Never mind! Ahem...Gotta go!" He gives a trademark salute and swivels about to fly off on his disc--

"Friend... ...," a gentle hand touches his shoulder.

He stops in mid-flight. He swivels about. "Star?"

She hovers up to him and smiles warmly. "Again, I would like to think you for all that you have done to ensure that not only would I be safe in my travelings--but that my journey to assist a poor Tamaranian soul would be successful. I am most certain that he would be as equally thankful to you as well, if only he were to be finally converted from his dismal imprisonment--which, X'hal willing, may be more of a reality now than it ever could have been previous. And that is entirely thanks to you."

"Don't mention it, Star," Static winks. "It's what we do for people we care for."

"Care...for?"

"Uhhh-_Friends_," he squeezes in. "Ya know?"

"Hehe...Indeed."

He salutes and finally flies off for real this time. "Maybe soon... ..You and I will actually get to rope him down for once! Who knows? Untill next time, Star!" He soars off.

Starfire remains hovering above the Tower. She waves, takes a deep breath, and smiles to herself.

".. ...until next time..."


	88. Shopping Maul

I suppose it won't come with any shock to anyone that I don't understand women. Not a single man does. The men who say they do are the most ignorant of the bunch. It's also no surprise that women understand men a lot more than we understand them. That's because men are simple. Women ain't.

Lisa was a woman to her very fingertips.

I sat in the waiting room...if that's what's you call four or five chairs sitting haphazardly outside the dressing rooms...in a fancy pants, overpriced clothes store where the women who work there look down their noses at you.

I hate that.

Lisa stepped out of the dressing room, wearing a dark green dressed made of...brocade or something. I wasn't up on my fashion sense. The only fabrics I'm really aware of are denim and leather.

"How do I look?" Lisa asked for the twelfth time.

"You look good." I answered for the twelfth time.

Once again, Lisa made that sound only a woman could make. It was somewhere between thinking and disappointment. Then she disappeared back into the dressing room.

I groaned.

I stood up and leaned against the wall just beside the curtain of the dressing room with one boot on the wall to steady myself. One of the saleswomen looked at me disapprovingly, but I didn't care. If they were about to take my hard-earned money, I could stand any way and wherever I damn well pleased.

I looked towards the curtain.

"You thought any on what you're gonna do for the talent part of the pageant?"

"Yeah, but-Urgh!" She grunted. "Damn garter!"

The curtain shook.

I coughed.

The curtain stopped moving.

"Ahem, yeah, I've thought about it." Lisa continued. "But I haven't thought of anything yet."

"Well...what are you talents?"

"Nothing besides kicking your butt in Smackdown Superheroes and looking like a pirate."

I would have stuck out my tongue if she could have seen me. An idea hit me.

"...You sing any?"

"You just want an excuse to whip out and play your little guitar."

"...Little?"

She ignored me and stepped out again, this time in a white dress with ruffles on the shoulders. It looked a little like a...wedding dress.

"How does this look?"

"Well...it's a little...um..."

"You don't like it?"

"It's fine."

"You hate it."

"I didn't say that-"

"I was gonna get this one, too." She pouted. "Now I have to try on _more_ dresses."

I buried my face in my hands.

TTTTTTTTTT

Detective Walker and Decker stood on the steps of City Hall. Walker snagged a cigarette between his lips, cupped his hands around a lighter and lit it with the efficiency that can only come from doing it a million times. That done, the two looked around.

The street in front of City Hall was a madhouse of activity. A huge stage with sweeping wings and metal grating pillars was being constructed. Street walkers slowed to curiously look on, forming a small crowd that would be insignificant compared to the one gathered tomorrow. A composer stood at his pulpit in front of the stage, leading his orchestra in practice. A score of news vans were already gathered reporting the event. On top of regular security, policemen and undercover policemen lined the area strategically.

"Okay." Walker said with an exhale of smoke. "If I was that pansy Mod, how would I attack this place?"

"He can't attack from behind because of City Hall. It would be hard to attack from any other direction because of the huge damn crowd that's gonna be here tomorrow. He'd have to get rid of them first."

"Full frontal assault, huh? Charlie would be proud."

"Stop trying to sound badass because you were in the war." Decker looked around. "I think the best way to do it..."

Both men looked up.

"From the air." They said together.

"Get your ass in gear." Decker waved. "Let's go talk to Commissioner about putting some snipers on the roof."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." Walker took one last drag of his cigarette and stubbed it out under his toe.

Both men turned and went back into the building.

Across the street, a small toy soldier stood unnoticed. It's eyes narrowed with an electronic whurring before turning around. It marched unevenly into an alley and checked for life signals. Seeing none, a pair of propellers emerged from it's bear fur hat and lifted it into the sky.

TTTTTTTTTT

My arms strained under the weight of the shopping bags in my arms. It was made up for by the light weight of my wallet now, though.

"I thought you were just buying a few outfits for the pageant." I accused.

"I did."

"Yeah, well, why does it feel like I'm carrying half a dozen bowling balls?"

"Maybe you need to work out more."

I grunted sourly, but it was hard to stay in a bad mood. We walked along a path in the park with nature all around us. Artificial nature, to be sure, but nature all the same. The sun was just setting below the horizon, making everything glow darkly.

"I wish I had a camera when I walked out in that bikini." Lisa reminisced. "The look on your face was priceless."

"You did it on purpose. Swimsuits usually have more than two square inches of fabric."

"How was I supposed to know you'd never seen a scantily-clad girl before?"

I shifted the bags in my hands.

"I've seen plenty of scantily-clad girls before, thank you very much. I just wasn't expecting it, is all."

"Sureeeee."

I frowned, but suddenly felt a chill as if a shadow passed over me. I looked up, but there was nothing there.

"Be sure to keep your hands to yourself tonight."

I did a double take.

"I wouldn't ever try to take advantage of you. I'm not like that."

"I meant when you get back to the tower."

"Ha-ha. Real hilarious. You wanna carry these bags yourself?"

"Stop acting like you don't enjoy it."

I decided to ignore that.

"You figure out what you're gonna do for the talent show?"

"I'm gonna paint."

"Huh...I didn't know you were a painter."

Lisa smirked.

"You never asked."

I fought to ignore that, too.

"Whatcha gonna paint?"

"I haven't decided yet."

I stopped and looked out at the western horizon.

"You could always paint a sunset, ya know."

Lisa stopped and watched it with me.

"...Maybe I will."

TTTTTTTTTT

I cut off the engine to my Harley well before we got to the front of the etiquette school and coasted the rest of the way. I stopped and flicked down the kickstand with my boot. I dismounted and turned to help Lisa off the back, but she'd already done it herself. I shrugged and grabbed the shopping bags instead. We walked up the cobblestone path and stopped before the front door.

Lisa looked at me.

"I guess I should say thanks..."

I waited.

She didn't say it.

"What? You expecting a peck on the cheek?"

"...I wasn't aware this was a date."

"Well-"

I looked up.

"I didn't notice that before." I interrupted her.

She looked up as well. A huge, stone gargoyle clutched the edge of the roof with long talons. It's gravel eyes were hard with hate and it's tooth-filled muzzle gaped open.

"Huh...I don't remember seeing that either."

"Well...G'night." I tried to tip my hat, only to remember I had an armload of shopping bags.

"Good night."

There was a awkward moment of silence when neither of us made a move.

"Oh!" I said louder than I meant to. I turned and opened the door for her I took one step in and put the shopping bags on the floor. "There."

"Ya know, I'm still mad at you for making me do this stupid pageant. But...I made a friend out of it, so I guess I can't be too angry."

I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Well, thanks."

Lisa looked at me funny.

"I meant Terra."

I prat falled.

"But...I guess you're okay, too." She stepped into the house and softly closed the door in my face.

"..."

_Damn women._

I turned and walked back to my bike.

Above, unseen, a toy soldier walked mechanically from behind the gargoyle statue. It scanned the area and then a pair of propellers emerged from it's bear fut hat-

A granite, gnarled hand closed in around it.

**CRUNCH!**


	89. Wings of Stone, Teeth of Yellow 1

An ancient sailing ship glides through the mist.

Its sails flap in the cold breeze.

A few weary henchmen walk the top deck, keeping a lookout.

Beneath the rudder wheel where a shifty-eyed thug is piloting the vessel, the emblazoned words: 'HMS Victory-II' appear in rudely cheap brasswork.

There is an eerie quiet on deck as the ship plows its way further into the thick fog.

Down, down into the cabin—a different world altogether resides in the dark depths of wooden compartments and crossbeams.

A dazzling array of computer stations, flickering video monitors, and radar devices fill the lengths and breadths of the place. Nestled in the center of the cobweb of digital madness is a lanky, redheaded Briton dressed in a frilly jacket of red and blue fit for a dandy. He violently sweeps aside a mess of computer cables and input devices to make room as he slams down a faded parchment, whips out a quill and ink jar, and melodramatically clears his throat before scribbling forth his nightly ramblings in an air of pompous self-importance.

"Your most holy, revered majesty.. …," he speaks aloud in a decaying accent framed by yellowing teeth. "… …my appointed holiday of grace has succumbed to its final day of transpiration, and there remains no more time for these Colonial ingrates to flaunt forth their chance at redemption. They refuse to adhere to the wisdom and kindness of their all-knowing Mother Country, and so it is with a heavy hand—and a heavy heart—that I must administer to them the royal retribution fit for an Empire such as ours. It is high time that these sinful secessionists learn the lesson for their over-inflated egos' irresponsible flaunting of Lockean Liberty. The only law of the land is the King and Queen's law. They shall adhere to the greatest democracy of the world, even if it takes the greatest mod of the world to act as mediator. With the blessed grace of your majesty and the Divine liberator above all things, I shall henceforth begin my campaign at regaining the respect and admiration of these youthful ruffians—starting with their most exemplary symbols of beauty, ingenuity, and charm. The ladies of the pageant. Sincerely, your most loyal and respectful subject… … ….Mad Mod."

He exuberantly signs his name, plops the quill pen into the ink, and leans back in the flickering light of his computer monitors.

"…. … …. …."

He smiles a yellow grin. He cackles.

"Snkkkt-Hehehehehe! GUESS WHAT, DUCKIES?.?.?.? IT'S ARSE-WHIPPING TIME!.!.!.! HAH HAH HAH HAH HAHHHHHH!"

Noodly, frilled arms flailing….

He spins and spins and spins….

Giggling his redhead off in the center of the mist-sailing ship…..

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Morning, the next day.

Main Street.

Jump City Hall.

The stage is set.

The people are slowly gathering.

Families and kids and teens and old folks alike.

People with lawn chairs and drinks and many more with cameras.

They arrive with very little trepidation. Enjoying the day. Enjoying the cool weather with partial cloud cover.

Music plays gently over the speakers as the banner reading: "Annual Jump City Beauty Pageant" is raised up high by various workers in blue.

"Watch it—WATCH IT!" Detective Decker grinds up a cigarette and shakes his fist at a few of the workers towering above him on a ledge. "We're gonna have enough stress on our hands with all of Mad Mod's threats without you nearly raining down signs on us! YES! Yes, I'm talking to you—Whoah! Keep it easy on your end! **Hey**! Hey you in the blue collar!"

"Yes?" "What?" "Yes, sir?" "Huh?"

"… …. ….," Decker blinks. ".. … …well, then. Now that I've got all of your attention—"

Walker strolls up. "Carry on, men. Before Decker here orders your testicles mailed in to the department by morning time."

"H-Hey!"

"Yessir. Heave—" **"Ho!"** "Heave—" **"Ho!"**

Walker turns to Decker and smirks.

Decker icily glares at him. "You just love being a bigger showman, don't you?"

Walker lifts a thermos of coffee to his mustached lips. "I'd say I'm better made for these kind of entertainment venue things."

"Oh really.. …."

"Yeah really. The closest you've ever been to a 'three-ring-circus' is your bathtub."

"Hardy har har. I thought you were supposed to be the stressed one, Mister Single Father."

"Eh…," Walker shrugs. "I figured that the fact Holly hasn't blown her brains out or killed a next door neighbor after sixteen years of existence is a true testament to her blending into modern society." He sips again and smirks. "Whatever fate bestows upon us in the next twelve hours, I can be satisfied I raised her relatively right."

"Whatever. I just hope the contestants don't slip through the cracks in the stage."

"Heh heh! I hear ya! Well, my daughter sure ain't gonna have to worry about that!"

"… … …. …."

"… … ..that.. …. …th-that was a compliment comin' from a father. Honest."

"Riiiiiight," Decker smirks. A motor noise. Then a grinding of tires. The two detectives turn to look at the sight of a familiar black car riding up. "Hoo boy…."

Walker gulps. "Well, so much for keeping it 'cool'…"

"Down, boy…."

The engine cuts off. The car door opens. A pair of black, faded sneakers touch down to the asphalt.. ….followed by the legs of a tall, fully-grown woman. She's attired in a modest, darkly-threaded dress uniform. A tan skirt under an open jacket of matching color. A green undershirt—then no jewelry or adornments whatsoever. Just a pair of hard blue eyes that stare out from a frame of short, dark-blonde hair. Like chestnut melted over an Appalachian glade. She stares out with the tyred face of ages—though she is barely past her mid-thirties. Young and old and dead and alive at the same time. She is the City's valued knight. The elected overseer. A savior by coffee cups and magnum rounds.

"C-Commissioner Ashley," Decker breathes and performs a half-mock salute. Half. "Erm…. ….Y-You're early."

"… .. ….," she says nothing. She shuts the car door. She marches into the two detectives' midst. She gazes around, her hard eyes thin in examination of the scene.

The two detectives shift and stir in their places with quasi-apprehension.

A few seconds pass. A minute.

She finally turns and gazes at them directly. Her voice is neither hard nor soft. Only alive: "What's wrong?"

"… …hmm?"

"Commissioner?"

She blinks. "Neither of you are cussing."

A beat.

"Oh.. …sh-shit…."

"Well, damn… …."

"Hell, I dunno—We…."

"Got crap to work with! Just look at this mess!"

"… …." She glances at the pageant-in-the-making. "… … …" She looks back at the two officers. "Then take the shit and make shit salad! **Move it!**"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Righto, Commissioner. Walker—Drag your mustache over here and help me talk some sense to the Blue Collar Comedy Tour we've got here—"

"For the last time, they're doing a good job! Get off their backs!"

"I'd get off their backs the soonest you get off the coffee!"

"Why of all the stupid—

The two men march off.

Commissioner Ashley stands by herself. She adjusts her jacket and exhales long and hard. "…. … …." She glances skyward and closes her tyred eyes. "Titans… .. …do be good kids and show up. **Soon.**"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Slam!

Cyborg shuts the driver's side door of the T-Car and buckles up as Raven slides into the front passenger seat. He flicks a switch of an intercom and speaks: "Okay, Titans! It's showtime! Let's get downtown and get ready to… … … …guard a whole bunch of skinny girls in skirts."

"Snkkkt—Hey! Watch it, Cy! You're talking about Terra, ya know!"

"… …okay, fine. Not all of them will be in skirts."

"Grrrrr-SNKKKT!"

Cyborg smirks and flicks the intercom switch off. He exhales long and hard. A beat. He glances aside at Raven. "…. …. …Rae?"

"… … …," she stares out the side window.

He leans his head a bit more. "… …Yo, Earth to Rae?"

"Hmm?" She turns and glances at him. She snaps out of it: "Oh, yes. Right. Pageant. Sure thing."

Cyborg smirks slightly. "It's not like you to be distracted."

"It's not like the Titans to take part in boring watch-duty."

"Heh heh…I know a lot's pressing on your mind," Cyborg shrugs. "Hell, it's bugging me too. I mean—Red X is on the loose, and now we can rule out the possibility of the suit being stolen. Rather, the suit is alive. And Robin doesn't seem all that happy about it, nor is he letting up on any of his stubborn secrets that might help make tracking down Red X infinitely easier and—"

"It's not just about Robin, Cyborg."

"What, then, Raven?"

"… …. …," she sighs. She shakes her head. "Never mind. I must be losing my mind, that's all."

"That's a paradox and a lie. What's bothering you, Raven? Tell me."

She furrows her brow. She looks at him oddly. "Have you felt—as of late—that there's been something wyrd about the Tower?"

"Wyrd? How?"

"Like—I dunno—a problem with the lighting or something."

"Heh! I sure as Hell hope not! I run diagnostics on the system everyday!"

"Then maybe it is my imagination… …"

"What is, girl?"

"I feel like… .. …like there are shadows, Cyborg… …"

"Shadows?"

She nods. "In the edge of my vision. Shadows, darting away. Like some fog's moved into the Tower and—everytime I turn my head—it disappears."

"Sounds like a certain violet-haired girl has been reading Poe way too many hours into the night."

"Feh. Forget it. I knew you wouldn't understand."

"Well, of course I don't, girl! But I doubt that's what you wanted when you even mentioned it to begin with!" Cyborg winks with a smirk. "I bet—if anything—you just want YOU to understand."

"… ….. …. …."

"Anywho, another conversation for another time," Cyborg presses a button and the door to an underground/underwater tunnel opens before them and aims its subterranean way north towards the Main Land. "Boo-ya! Go time!"

**Vrmmm! Vrmmmm!**

Raven glares. "You travel this tunnel every morning," she drones. "What's the big deal?"

"Heheheh—Every day is worth making exciting, don't you think so?"

"No, but apparently Mad Mod does."

"Well, here's hoping for your sake, Raven, that neither he or I get our wish."

"Heh… …I hear you—ACK!"

**  
VROOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOM!**

The T-Car thunders forward… …and into the day.


	90. Wings of Stone, Teeth of Yellow 2

Beast Boy paced back and forth across the main room of Titans Tower, fidgeting at every step. He was anxious to get moving. Starfire was his opposite. She sat complacently on the couch, reserved and still. Though near each other, their minds were a million miles apart. The double main doors slid apart with a swish and Robin entered the room. He faced the two of them, but he looked at Beast Boy.

"All right." He said. "It's time to go."

"Finally!" Beast Boy breathed. He was out of the room in a flash.

Robin paused for a moment to consider that before he moved to follow.

"...Robin." Starfire stood up. "May I speak to you for a moment?"

Robin stopped and turned to her.

"Is...is there something wrong?"

Robin's eye mask squinted.

"Mad Mod-"

"No." Starfire shook her head. "I do not mean the current threat. It is...well...since our excursion to Neo Hive, you have not spoken to me."

"I've been busy, Starfire. Besides, there was no need. You performed well."

"...Performed well?"

It was too late. The Boy Wonder had already turned and walked away.

"..."

With no choice, Starfire bowed her head and followed.

TTTTTTTTTT

Cyborg honked the horn once or twice, but it was no use so he gave it up. The T-Car inched towards City Hall and the Jump City Beauty Pageant. When the huge crowd saw it, they stopped being pageant fans and became Titan fans. The clamored around the car on all sides, trying to get a peek at the Teen Titans through the windows. They tapped to get their attention, hand signed and mouthed. A few more obsessed people quickly scribbled on anything the could find and pushed it against the window so it could be read.

**THUMP!**

One such message was pushed against the passenger side window where Raven sat. She turned and looked at it.

_'Raven, will you marry me?'_

Without changing expression, she turned to Cyborg.

"We must get out of here."

"I'm trying, girl! Unless you know a way to get all these people to move-"

"You put a sonic cannon on the car for a reason, didn't you?

Cyborg did a double take. He looked at her, shocked.

"Raven!"

The mystic raised an eyebrow.

"...What?"

Outside, drawing no attention from the crowd, a blur of black smoke streaked down the sidewalk. It spiraled up a lamppost, vaulted and landed in the form of Noir on the roof opposite City Hall and the pageant stage. He crouched on the ledge and looked down with those black eyes.

A few policemen temporarily left their posts to help clear the crowd around the T-Car. They held out their hands and stepped forward along with the slightly faster progression of the vehicle.

The stage was finished with it's metal grating pillars, spotlights and the two winged walkways that sliced out into the crowd. Between them was an indented place for the composer and his orchestra. Sweeping red curtains hid the backstage area from which the pageant contestants would emerge.

To the right of the stage was a small area barricaded off for the JCPD. Walker filled the air with smoke while Decker profaned it with curses.

Noir took in a deep breath. He sighed. All would soon be in place.

All he could do now was wait.

TTTTTTTTTT

I stood in one of the large, long rooms in Madam Pufton's etiquette school that served as a bedroom for multiple pageant contestants. I leaned against the wall with one foot planted against it, my arms folded across my chest and my hat low on my brow, just trying to stay out of the way as the girls went back and forth to get their stuff ready. I pulled out my pocket watch, flipped it open to see the time and put it away again.

"I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying." Lisa grumbled as she crossed and recrossed the room gathering...whatever it is women need for beauty pageants.

"I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to."

I sighed.

"We're gonna have a tough time if you keep seeing some secret meaning to everything I do."

"Chill out, guys." Terra told us from where she was packing up her own stuff.

"But-"

"But-"

"Bard, stop looking at you watch. We have plenty of time. Lisa, stop reading Bard's mind. It makes him feel insecure."

I grumbled about that under my breath. I stepped over to the window door that led out to a tiny balcony. I was outside, but still close enough to talk. I dug in my pocket, pulled out a cigarette and lit it up.

"Give me one." Lisa demanded.

"Nu-uh. Finish getting ready first."

Lisa put her hands on her hips.

"You're bribing me with nicotine?"

"Yup." I said around the cigarette. "Bet it works, too."

This time it was Lisa's turn to grumble. I felt a trifle smug over it.

"So," I said, inhaling from the cancer stick again. "Ya'll seen anything suspicious here yet?"

Lisa and Terra looked at each other. When Lisa shook her head, Terra answered.

"Nothing. I don't think it's an inside job."

I nodded.

"Well...don't let your guard down."

Terra giggled.

"Yes, _Robin_." She looked at me a little more seriously. "Don't let Madam Pufton see you smoking that. She's already burning up about the fact you're gonna be riding along with us."

I had to smirk at that.

"If only I'd had time to take the muffler off my Harley..."

The door suddenly slammed open and Madam Pufton stomped in the door. I coughed and nearly swallowed my cigarette before managing to drop it off the balcony.

Madam Pufton sniffed at the air.

"What is that I smell?"

That was too easy. I held my tongue.

"It smells like...smoke." She turned and glowered straight at me.

I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Maybe someone's having a pig pickin'?"

"A pig...what?" She looked at me closely. "...Are you doing the marijuana?"

It took all I had not to fall over laughing. I managed to tip my hat.

"No, ma'am. My drug of choice is crack cocaine, ma'am."

She started on a tirade, but then her face turned red. She pointed a finger into my face.

"I'm watching you, boy." Madam Pufton turned on her heel and stomped out of the room.

Terra shook her head, looking at me.

"Why do you have to give that woman such a hard time?"

I shrugged.

"I don't like her tone."

Terra rolled her eyes up at the ceiling.

"_Men._"


	91. Wings of Stone, Teeth of Yellow 3

The street is filling with people. They gather for the pageant. Some gather for the T-Car ambling a few dozen meters away. Whatever the case, it is a bright noon. The day is warm. Jump City is alive.

For the first time in days that I can remember, I simply remain still. It isn't the same sort of 'remaining still' as my meditation outside of the Tower entails on a monthly basis. Neither is it the sort of eerie 'stillness' that fills a regular crime-fighting gig with any and all manner of tension.

Somehow.. ….Perched up here atop this light fixture… .. …Aloft above the sea of roaming bodies and voices.. ….

I feel at ease. Adrift. Floating. Strangely, and peacefully 'high'…

I inhale and relax. Carrying myself on the breaths of those gathering sociably below me. Families with their babies in strollers. Teenagers hanging out together. Young couples. Old couples. Journalists and photographers. A field trip of Catholic elementary students. A train of tourists from Japan. The locals and the visitors. The familiar and the curious. The alive and the livelier.

It is at times like these that I remember exactly who and what I am protecting in this City. But even more so, it is times like these that I remember all of that and then.. …

Then, I feel good.

Yes, I feel joyful. I feel thankful.

This is my second chance. This is my new life. My new family. A wonderful buddy… …An honorable leader… … …A righteous HQ… …A home.

A home and a place to be safe at—And not necessarily hiding.

No, not 'hiding' all the time. I can be out. Out in the open. Just like this. With or without my secret. On top of things, or afraid.

I am a Teen Titan. I am a hero. And this City looks up to me. It is a part of me. And I am as strong **in** it as I am **for** it.

Spare thoughts about Red X and the mystery of the bowels of Neo H.I.V.E. streak through my dark mind. But like puffs of smoke, they wither and fade away. Not by my power. Not even by my luck. I cannot explain it, but I feel like everything here is right.

Even with whatever tempestuous trials we may face. Even with every hardship we'll likely wrestle with. I am more than confident that—together and combined—we can overcome it. Funny—how the briefest of dark episodes can distract me from this feeling. It is almost as if I'm standing across from the beautiful sight of Fei-Yan. I am on the horizon of hope. Of joy. Of a reason to keep living and fighting and growing….

I take a deep breath and smile calmly into the noisy clutter of the place.

Heh… …Listen to my thoughts. I must be delirious. It's like I'm suddenly as 'together' as Raven and 'glorious' as…. …. …--

I tilt my head up. My black eyes narrow. "… … …?"

Starfire is perched high above the crowd—much like myself. However, she is seated in a rather slumped fashion on a roof's edge beneath a Soda billboard ad. And she appears—dare I say—lethargic?

"… … ….," I perform a biting smirk. I stand up, flex my murking limbs, and blur my way in a smoking leap skyward.

**THWOOOOSH!**

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"I can't seee!" Hope hops and hops and hops from behind a line of onlookers on a Main Street sidewalk who are infinitely taller than her petite stature. "I can't seee-eeee-eeee!"

"Relax, munchkin," Janice walks into view and props up a lawn chair or two. "There's nothing to see. Princess Goth and her circus of twig-freaks haven't even arrived at the scene yet."

"Ohhhhh," Hope pouts. "We promised Lisa that we'd be here to see her show off at the pageant! I don't want to let her down!"

"Pffft—Maybe YOU promised," Janice smirks with a flip of her straight-edged black hair. "I distinctly remember Lisa threatening to remove our ovaries with a surgical spoon if we so much as showed up to this ghastly affair."

"I don't care what YOU think you heard! I'm supporting her all the way! She's a shy girl! This is a big deal for her!" Hope hops and hops. "Grrrr-Really 'big'!"

"Want I should sit you on my shoulders?"

"Ick—Maybe any other best friend, but not you, Janice."

"Hehehehe—What's wrong? I'll even put a pillow on the back of my neck—"

"I said NO!"

"Hey gals!" their blonde companion strolls up, struggling with a huge cooler of refreshments. "You think we brought enough frickin' Dr. Pepper?"

"HEY!….BITCH!" Janice snarls with a crooked finger. "You can NEVER….EVER….HAVE ENOUGH DR. PEPPER."

She sweatdrops and bites her lip while raising a plastic bag slick with condensation. "I-Ice?"

"No thanks, Trisha—" Hope begins.

"**Tiffany**."

"Dah! Sorry, Tiff."

"Grrr! That's the third time today!"

"Wait…Wait….," Janice raises her hands. "Is it 'Trisha' or 'Tiffany'?"

"Uhhh—"

"Cuz I keep forgetting, to be honest…."

"Grrrrr….," the blonde girl named Tiffany snarls. "… …want the RC Cola instead?"

"NO…N-No, that's fine…," Janice shuffles nervously. "… …. …so.. … …l-like….What happens to the gal that wins this shitgig?"

Tiffany pops a bottle up and takes a swig. "I dunno. Maybe some Tiara linked telepathically to Jude Law or somethin'?"

"Heh. Not a pageant **I'd** touch with a ten foot pole."

"AHEM….Don't you both mean what will happen when Lisa wins?" Hope flutters her eyelids cutely.

"Damn, girl. You have a bigger crush on her than I do!"

"EW! JANICE!"

"Hah hah hah---"

"Grrr--…," little Hope stomps away. "Nammit! I am so getting a ladder!"

"Yeah, whatever," Janice waves. "We'll be here."

"If you see the Titans, molest Robin for me!" Tiffany shouts. A beat. She glances over and blinks at Janice. ".. …you suppose that's legal in Singapore?"

"… …. …." Janice ignores her, instead gazing at the pre-pageantry.

"… .. ….Utah?"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Starfire is gazing out onto the City Hall by the time I touch down in a murky cloud behind her. I slowly, silently walk up. My approach is a quiet one. I cannot help it.

So I make a sound the closer I get, scraping the rooftop ever so slightly with the tip of Myrkblade.

Starfire is not startled. She somehow seems too lethargic to be jolted. She slowly turns her head and glances back at me. A soft—but liquid smile crawls across the lower half of her features.

"Greetings, friend Noir. Are you adequately prepared for this security mission?"

I smile. I shrug.

She leans her head to the side. "Hmm? So you are or are not equipped?"

I bite my lip….

"Hee hee hee…," she manages. Quietly. "I apologize most emphatically, young Noir. Sometimes it is a somewhat cherishable thing that you are so silent. It magnifies the innocence in a righteous fighter such as yourself, no?"

I look at her curiously.

She exhales and hugs her knees to her chest. "The ones who speak the least have always been the ones to fascinate me. On my planet, we speak and confess and deliberate openly about anything and everything that assails our spirit. It is not so on this world. On planet Earth, it takes so much more for people to open up. To speak. To tell the Truth…."

I shuffle over. I sit down beside her on the roof's edge. My legs dangle as I gaze down at the scores, hundreds, handfuls of people gathered for the annual pageant.

"It almost makes the quest to reach out to such people all the more precious," she murmurs. "Like beloved Nova'm… …"

I glance curiously at her. I blink my black eyes and mouth: 'Who?'

She looks at me. "Did not Robin inform you?"

"… … …" I slowly shake my head.

Her green eyes lower slightly. "Naturally, he did not do so… …."

I gulp.

She takes a breath. "But… …When Terrans finally open up. It is a most beautiful thing. There is perfect trust and camaraderie to be found in such. Like an honest blood is flowing from a sacrificial wound. Such selflessness. Such emotion." She tilts her head back to the Yellow Sun, basks.. … …and murmurs: "These last few days.. … …I have received such wonderful words.. … …words of wisdom and joy.. …. …. …It is a tragedy that I have nearly neglected to truly appreciate what has been done for me…. …"

I raise an eyebrow.

A beat. Starfire opens her eyes, looks at me, and giggles. "Heeheehee—You need not worry, young Noir. I am hardly in any despair at the moment. I am merely in deep thought—as we all are from time to time, yes?"

I smile and nod.

She reaches a hand over and warmly ruffles my hair. "Heehehe….I am glad to see you happy. Many harrowing things have happened this week, have they not? But now is a time for as much happiness as vigilance. We may be here on a mission, but I truly aspire to witness our friend Terra in a moment of perfect beauty. That is worth braving the day, if I may be so qualified to conclude such!"

I nod slowly. I gaze out towards the City Hall Square. I spot two familiar detectives pacing back and forth along the stage, busily directing cops around. And then a blonde woman in a dress suit standing in the center of the scene. Looking more resolute and solid than the Earth itself. And it makes me pause to wonder who is really running the show here.

"X'Hal.. …I do not hope she gets the 'stage frightening'," my Tamaranian teammate murmurs.

I am once again confronted with the dilemma of wanting to giggle out loud but having no vocal cords to do so with.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

".. …. ….." Robin gazes up from a side alleyway where he straddles his idling R-Cycle.

Starfire and I can be seen as lone figures atop the roof. High above the crowd. Lost from him in the cacophony of the energetic world.

Lost… …

Robin takes a deep breath. He shakes it off, and then whips out a Titan Communicator. But at the sight of the yellow device in his gloved hand, he pauses. Suddenly—if not briefly assaulted by spare memories of teammates floundering in despair around the world. The electronic voice of a talking brain. A shape-shifter, a primate, and a weapon of mass destruction. Lives on the brink of annihilation… …and annihilation on the heels of a dream.

Robin fights it. Slowly. Steadily. And with methodically slow triumph, he breathes through the waves of regret and voices his superhero persona through his lips and into the communicator:

"Bard, this is Robin. The clock is ticking to the beginning of the show. Please tell me you've got an update."

Silence.

"… … …," Robin grits his teeth. He flips the switch on the communicator and again growls: "Hey…. ….ROOKIE.. … ….are you following my orders or—"

"Snkkkt—Hey there yourself, Robin! I'm your huckleberry!"

Robin's eyemask 'blinks'. "… .. …say what?"

"Snkkkt—Heh heh heh…Ahem. I'm a'mosyin'…."


	92. Wings of Stone, Teeth of Yellow 4

I stood in front of the etiquette school and watched as the pageant contestants filed into a pair of long, white limousines. I held a yellow Titan communicator up to my face with a small screen showing Robin's face on it.

"Heh heh heh. Ahem. I'm a-mosey'n..." I trailed off as I watched another contestant climb into the limo.

Lisa slugged me hard in the arm.

**WHACK!**

"Ow!" I rubbed my shoulder. "What was that-"

"Stop checking out the girls' butts when they get in the car." Lisa huffed.

I took on a look of righteous indignation.

"I'm not! I'm making sure they get in safely! That's my job, ya know."

"Bullshit!"

"_Skknnt. Um, Bard..."_ Robin tried to say, but I was already fussing at Lisa again.

"Shush, woman! I'm on official Titan business and-"

"_BARD!"_

I started. I turned back to the communicator.

"Ahem...yeah, boss?"

"_When's your ETA?"_

"...Eastwood tearing ass?"

Robin half-groaned and half-sighed.

"_When are you getting here?"_

"Oh...I dunno. The girls are getting in the cars now, so I reckon it shouldn't be too much longer."

"_Good. Keep your eyes open. Mod might try something."_

"Righto."

The picture of the Boy Wonder nodded.

"_Robin, out."_

I put away the communicator.

"Hey!" Lisa elbowed me in the side. "Madam Pufton's getting in the limo. Make sure you watch her just like all the others to make sure she gets in _safely_."

I glared at her.

"...I hate you."

"Good." She smirked. "That means I'm doing my job."

I blinked.

"I'm fairly sure I'll never understand that."

"Yup."

I looked around.

"All right." I said. "That's everybody except you."

"Guess you get to watch me get in now, huh?" Lisa threw over her shoulder as she headed for the car door.

"Pssh...you wish, darlin'."

I leaned my weight to start walking towards my Harley, but that's as far as I got. On my own accord, my head turned...

"..."

_Damn it._

_I hate it when she's right._

After I 'made sure she got in safely', I stepped ahead and throttled my motorcycle. On an impulse, I turned back to the school. I couldn't see the gargoyle statue. I shrugged it off to a bad angle or something. I hit the gas and led out the strange procession.

Unseen beneath an immaculately trimmed bush, a toy British soldier watched with electronic eyes.

TTTTTTTTTT

In a cabin deep within the bowels of the HMS Victory II, Mad Mod sat in a control room of sorts. The British villain sat in a swivel chair with video monitors all around him, broadcasting the footage captured by his troops of tiny toy soldiers. The videos were of all of Jump City, but one place overall: City Hall, the site of the beauty pageant. He watched one scene more intently that the rest: That of the two white limousines pulling onto the main road.

"Heheheheheh!" He rubbed his hands together and stood up, his comically tall captain hat almost hitting the chandelier above him. He stepped out of the room, down a hallway and up the stairs to the deck.

"Hey, listen up, you limey blokes!" Mod stood tall and proud. "It's time. Hoist the anchor! Reset the starboard rigging! Get ready to set sail!"

The deckhands turned towards him as one man and saluted.

"AYE, AYE!"

TTTTTTTTTT

Terra and Lisa sat side by side in the read limousine. Across from them were-

"I'm Renee." The girl introduced herself with a bright smile.

The girl beside her leaned back casually and picked her teeth.

"Name's Holly."

"Lisa and Tara." Lisa gestured.

"Oh, right." Holly snapped her fingers and pointed at Lisa. "You're the one with the cowboy boyfriend, right?"

Lisa's eye went flat.

"He's not my-!"

"He's pretty cute." Holly went on. "Go you."

"Pssh." Lisa folded her arms over her chest. "You're just saying that because he's the only guy you've seen in like...two weeks."

Holly shrugged.

"I like Beast Boy." Terra said suddenly.

The three other girls looked at her.

Terra laughed nervously.

"Ya know...the Teen Titans guy?"

"Um..." Renee cut her eyes to the side. "Isn't he...ya know..._green?_"

"It's unique!" Terra said it a little more defensively than necessary.

"The dude's got wyrd frickin' ears." Holly pointed out bluntly.

"Hey! Chicks dig the pointy ears!"

"Ahem!" Lisa cleared her throat to change the subject. "Anyone nervous?"

"I am." Renee wrung her hands together. "This is my first pageant. All those people looking at me..."

"I'm not nervous at all." Holly said with bravado. "Sometimes ya gotta say the hell with it, know what I'm saying? Like...what's the worst that could happen? Fall on your face on stage while thousands of people laugh at you? Screw it!"

Renee turned a pale shade of green. She turned and quickly rolled the window down.

"Look." Terra said as she peered out of it. "I think we're here."

"Good." Holly rubbed her hands together. "Let's go strut our stuff, pitch a few pants tents and win some awards!"

TTTTTTTTTT

I could hear the cheering crowd of several thousand even over the rumble of my bike as I lead the two limousines into the square in front of City Hall. The crowd pushed forward to get a better look, but our route was barricaded off by police officers and wooden beams. More than a few video recorders were trained on us. Flashbulbs from cameras damn near blinded me but, thankfully, most of them weren't pointed at me. Folks were a lot more interested in the pageant contestants, not the guard in the cowboy hat.

Across the way in a circle of police cars stood the two detectives, Decker and Walker. The cigarette between Walker's lips reminded me it had been a little while since my last one. A woman in a tan dress suit stood beside them. Woman or not, she looked like somebody you didn't want to cross.

Outlined by a big billboard, I saw Starfire and Noir on a nearby roof. I took one hand off the handlebars and waved. I couldn't see if they waved back, though, because something large suddenly blocked my sight.

A ship.

_A ship?_

A British voice squealed over the loudspeaker.

"_Hold your horses before you even think of tossing them medals, ya thick nogginned, arse-over-elbow Yank Secessionists! It's about bloody time a real Mod had a go at groomin' these phinnies right and proper, aye?"_


	93. Wings of Stone, Teeth of Yellow 5

I do a double-take. Blinking my black eyes.

Starfire's hair droops in the wind like a pair of sagging ears. "Erm.. …" She numbly shakes her head. "Did a gratuitous set of fingernails just now prevail upon grinding their keratin into the bone marrow of the planet?"

_**"You heard me right, my honking duckies! Your good health and reputation has just run out! The pathetic, septic American reputation! HA! Time to reclaim for the Royal House!"**_

Gasping voices. Wide-eyed glances. Turning heads.

I follow the astonished gaze of the crowd up, up, up…. …and gasp myself.

For a huge, nautical battleship of Nineteenth Century prestige is flying into the length of Main Street.

_Wait, flying? No— _

It is a giant replica of a ship.. .. …suspended on a series of elongated dirigibles. An airship—in the literal sense. A magical cloud of fog parts way to expose its earthward trajectory on the red, blimp-like structures. The words _'H.M.S. Bounty'_ are splashed across the wooden finish.

"X'Hal above!" Starfire gasps. "It is a giant dread of the naught!"

**_"Snkkkt—Ahoy there, ya upstart sods!"_** Mad Mod's voice crackles over loud speakers positioned where the sails should be. _**"The tide's rollin' in, and it's high time the Colonies just sunk back into the brine where they belong for the next few years! Maybe a good soiling of your collective britches will teach you a thing or two about defying the prospect of my high class!"** _

I squint my black eyes. I stare at the bow of the ship…

A skeletonous redhead in a ridiculous 'admiral' getup props his narrow self upon the edge of the ship, peering down at us through a long, long telescope and spitting his yellow mouth into a microphone.

_**"A week ago I plodded into town hoping you might show me some ample respect! All I wanted was to tidy up after the boorish pavement pizza you call ART and FASHION! Spendin' all of this bloody money on a talent show where beauty is equated with a pimply young bird singing to a nun's choir—HAH! You need some pizzazz, mates! You need to have your knees up for something swingin' and groovy and off your trolley smashin' and bob's your uncle!"** _

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Beast Boy floats up in the form of a pigeon and settles—perching in elf-form—upon a window sill just meters away from the hulking bottomside of the flying ship.

"Whoah.. …. ..d-dude….," he murmurs. "Pip-Pip on the poop deck.. …."

_**"So I offered to render the whole lot of you my best services! But was I given' the bees knees like I deserve?"** _

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"NO!" Mad Mod howls into his microphone. He stands on the precipice of the ship's bow, a myriad of misty meters above the gazing, crowded Main Street below. "You barmy headed dip sticks sent me running left, right, and center! That's what it always is with you soddy-footed Yanks! Always know respect for the Queen's kin!"

He stands up straight, twirls his telescope, and magically turns it into the ruby-headed staff of trademark psychoterrorism.

"So how about a new tradition, ya Jump City gits?.!.?.! I take your lovely daughters, who were going to show off their knickers in a public display of colonial commercialism anyways, and teach them how to naff off your fetters of unimaginative traditions Mad Mod style!.!.!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Robin grits his teeth in frustration as he stares up at the hovering madman.

_**"A one and a two and a---…HOLD ONTO YOUR BISCUITS!"** _

Robin's eyemask widens. He sees what's going to happen before there is anything happening to see.

"Titans!" He shouts half to the air, half into his communicator. "Move--!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

But it's too late.

The _H.M.S. Victory II_ is floating directly overhead to the City Hall. The stage. The _pageant_. A red laser _whurrrrrs_ out from the belly of the dreadnaught and aims its sight upon the limos.

_**FLASSSSSH!** _

A bright, yellow spotlight encircles the two, long vehicles.

Bard gasps. Frowning, he whips out adamantium knuckles in one hand and a pistol in the other.

**_"Oh no you don't!"_** Mad Mod's voice crackles through the air as a red targeting sight centers upon the small of Bard's back. _**"Not this time, bushwacker!"** _

"H-Huh?" the cowboy turns—He gasps and spins in time—

**_POW!_** A sniper from the crowd fires at him.

**_CLANG!_** Bard miraculously deflects the bullet spray with the metal of his knuckles. "Unnngh!" The blast nevertheless sends him falling off the bike and onto his rear. _"OOF!" _

"YAAAAUGH!" The sniper in question leaps out of the gasping, fleeing crowd. He is a ridiculously stereotypically dressed Redcoat with an authentic rifle turned into a high-class sniper rifle. "FOR THE QUEEN!" He charges straight at Bard with a bayonet.

"Oh, you gotta be kiddin' me—" The cowboy begins.

**_WHURRRRRRR!_** The bayonet converts to a ferocious, miniature chainsaw.

Bard's shaded eyes widen. "LEAPING LIMEYS!" He reverse somersaults, hobbles to his feet, and barely ducks, side-steps, and limbo-dodges the serrated swings of the red-garbed henchman. _SWISSH! SWISSSH! SWISSH! _

"YAAUGH!" the redcoat twirls with a flapping of his suit's tails. He kicks Bard hard in the chest. _WHAP! _

"Ooof!" Bard slams back into a limo. The girls inside shriek as he braces himself and clamps both hands against the barrel of the rifle as the chainsaw bayonet is forced down, down, down towards the bridge of his nose. "Nnnn-Nnngh!"

_Whurrrrrrr! _

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

From the stage…

"Sh-Shit!" detective Decker hisses and whips out a pistol. He aims at the distant redcoat accosting Bard. "Keep still, cowboy!" He shouts as he squints one eye…

From behind him: _"Dah! Damn bozo!" _

Decker growls over his shoulder without looking: "Walker—For Chrissakes. Now's not a name to curse my aiming—"

**_WHAM!_** A tambourine slams hard across the back of Decker's skull.

"OOF!" He falls hard to the ground.

"Hee hee hee!" A gaily colored harlequin twirls with belled sashes ringing and slams his tambourines into Decker's backside, forcing the ragdolling detective to roll across the ground alongside the similarly throttled Walker. "Stop hittin' yourself! Stop hittin' yourself! Hip-Hip-Hurrah! Hee hee hee—"

**_BLAM!_** A stray bullet shoots a tambourine out of his grasp.

"WHOOPS!" He makes a face, twirls, and looks acrobatically upside-down across the stage.

Commissioner Ashley—frowning—reloads her pistol, cocks it and takes aim once again.

"Hee hee hee!" the harlequin twirls, twirls—

_**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!** _

--and leaps, flips, twirls out of the Commissioner's firing range.

"Nnngh…," Ashley growls and shouts into a communicator built into her watch while kneeling with her gun. "Titans! This is Ashley! Robin—We could use your team's help just about—"

**_THWAP!_** A tambourine is tossed against her skull.

"OOF!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"We're on it!" Robin is already running towards Bard's aid.

_Snkkkt! _

He extends his bo-staff and twirls it.

"Titans!" He shouts into the communicator. "GO!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

The crowd below is running every-which-way in horror and panic.

A loud scream gradually fills the air.

Starfire and I give each other uncertain glances following the ringing voice of Robin through the communicator.

Sooner than naught—the two of us are leaping/blurring into action.

_FWOOOOSH!_ Starfire soars up into the air.

_CHIIIING!_ I produce Myrkblade and leap smokily down onto the scene.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

**_"HAH HAH HAH HAH!"_** Mad Mod's crackling laughter thunders through the air as Beast Boy morphs into an albatross and takes off into the air. Emerald wings flap and glide him up, up, up towards the hull of the _H.M.S. Victory II_.

The laughing, skinny figure of the 'admiral' is in clear view.

Beast Boy's milky eyes narrow. He snarls—and morphs into a ferocious pterodactyl in mid-air. _**"SRKIIIIII!"** _

Just before his talons can sink into the laughing villain—

**_BLAMMM!_**

An elephant gunshot splashes against his leathery hide and sends the flying changeling spinning.

He morphs cartoonishly back into a bruised, charred-faced elf floating in mid-air. A smoky exhale….and Beast Boy then plummets Coyote style into the Main Street asphalt below. _**THUD!** _

"Top of the 'morning to ya, Colonel!" Mad Mod salutes towards a random buildingtop.

Beneath a billboard, an African safari man with a huge, handlebar mustache and a pith helmet reloads his giant musket and barks: "Bah! I shot bigger ones in my days down in Ethiopia! Gimme bigger game and I'll fetch you a nice throw rug, my lord!"

"HAH! How I fancy me a henchman who's a bigger shag-job than I am! Hah hah hah! Fire at will!"

"Cherio, then!" The safari colonel squints, aims his boomstick down, and fires—_**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!** _

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

The buckshot ricochets and splashes off the body of the T-Car.

Cyborg winces, driving his pelted vehicle through the thick crowds of panicking citizens. "Nuh uh! A James Bond ripoff—maybe. But I sure as Hell ain't gonna have my Baby be ding-donged to death by COLONEL EFFIN' MUSTARD!"

Raven boredly drones: "Is that my cue?"

"Hell yeah, girl!" Cyborg's fist jams over a button. _BEEP! _

_Schwissh!_ The sunroof flies open.

_Swooosh!_ Raven calmly glides up, up, up and spreads her soul-self across Main Street like a protective umbrella of obsidian power. "The Revolution ended when it started. Azarath Metrion Zin—"

**_"NOT TODAY, SUNSHINE!"_** Mad Mod's voice shouts high above the tumult as the floating _Victory_ swivels about. _**"Steady, boys! Hard to starboard—And…..FIIIIIRE!"** _

_**BL-BLAAAM!** _

Raven's hooded eyes glance up. "H-Huh?" They widen at the last second. **_POWWWW!_** A stream of cannonballs explode into her soul-self. **_"UNNNGH!"_** In a haze of smoke and shrapnel, the robed sorceress is plunged back down to the unforgiving earth.

"RAE!" Cyborg yelps helplessly from the T-Car below.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Starfire is flying across the street, guiding and carrying breathless citizens to safety.

She turns at the sound of the concussion and glances up.

A pair of green eyes fly open wide. "!.!.!.!" She gasps. "Raven!" She makes to take off—

**_WHAMMMM!_** A lance plows into her and pins her to a wall. **CRUNCH!**

"Ooof!" Starfire winces all over. She fights against the lance and looks down the length of it to see a knight in armor seated atop a giant, mechanical horse.

The steam-operated equine 'whinnies', grinds its hooves, and rears up as the riding henchman raises his visor in time to frown at the Tamaranian. "I'm afraid there'll be no pedestal for _you_, milady."

Starfire hisses: "I am most certainly NOT your 'LADY'—"

**_THW-THWOOOSH!_** He tosses her by the lance off into a storefront.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee---" _CRASH! _

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I blur to a stop, startled by the sound of Starfire's impact.

But even more so….

"!.!.!.!" I gasp, tilting my head up.

Raven is falling.

Plummeting towards the panic-ridden streets below.

I run.

I blur.

Looking up at her.

Surrounded by screaming and stampeding people.

Raven falls and falls… .. …

A limp doll kissing the concrete.

I grit my teeth. I concentrate. I blur through the crowds, murking, teleporting, shifting—

_THWOOOOOSH! _

I dive at the last second, stretch my arms out, catch Raven's body in mid-air… .. …

… .. … ..and promptly remember how petite I am.

**_THUDDD! _**

****

_… … …_

_… …_

_…_

_Ow._


	94. Wings of Stone, Teeth of Yellow 6

My shoulder blades against the side rear of the limousine, I gritted my teeth as I pushed back against the bayonet that threatened to pierce me. On the opposite side, a British soldier pushed back just as hard.

"Urgh!" I struggled against him. "Sh-shouldn't you be taking abuse from tourists in f-front of a castle somewhere? Or s-sniffing the Queen's panties?"

The soldier growled. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Terra stick her wigged head outside the limousine window.

"S-stay with the girls!" I forced out. "I can handle this!"

I cut my eyes down.

**STOMP!**

I brought the heel of my cowboy boot down hard on the British soldier's foot. The soldier stopped attacking and hopped backward. I advanced with my fists at the ready. The soldier ducked my wide right hook and retaliated with an uppercut using the butt of his rifle that caught me just under the chin. I arced through the air and, with a thump, landed face up on the trunk of the limousine. Before I could wince in pain, the soldier stabbed down at me with the bayonet.

**SKKINKT!**

The blade plunged into the trunk as I rolled backwards off of it and landed on my feet on the other side. The British soldier dislodged the rifle, put it up to his shoulder and aimed at me point blank.

I kicked the rear latch and the trunk popped open. The soldier stumbled back while the rifle flew straight up in the air. The gun came back down and landed in the trunk. The soldier ran for it, but it was too late. I rolled forward across the trunk, my body weight closing it and taking the rifle out of the equation. I came out of my roll on the other side of the trunk with both feet stretched out.

**WHAM!**

My cowboy boots smashed into the soldier's chest and sent him sprawling. I landed on my feet and stalked him while I cracked my neck to the side and wrapped my fists around metal knuckles.

It was on.

TTTTTTTTTT

With incessant giggling, the harlequin jumped and caught the chakram-like tambourine as it returned from smacking into Commissioner Ashley's skull. Decker grabbed her before she could hit the ground, but Walker's blood was boiling.

"Son of a bitch!" He raged. "You're Mod's ass clown freaks, huh? If you wanna hurt my daughter, you'll have to drag my ass through hell first!"

The harlequin frowned at him...and then showed a toothy smile.

That pissed Walker off even more.

"Arugh!"

Walker rushed him, but the harlequin was already moving. With spinning, acrobatic grace, he attacked him with a myriad of smacks, kicks and punches. Walker blocked and back stepped heavily, his long coat flapping around his ankles. Finally seeing an opening, he arced his fist.

The harlequin ducked under it and exploded upwards with a spinning uppercut that laid the chain smoking detective out on the street. He landed in a graceful pose, his face grim.

"Heheheheheheheh!" He went into another fit of giggles.

**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!**

Decker emptied his pistol as him. The harlequin's tambourines flashed up in a blur.

**TING! TING! TING! TING!**

He deflected the bullets as he flipped and tumbled away towards the pageant stage.

TTTTTTTTTT

Beast Boy landed in a crouch along the street on the far side of the pageant stage. He turned and saw the safari man standing on a low roof, a high-powered rifle in his hands.

"You'll make a fine trophy, lad! Now just stay still you little bugger..." He closed one eye and looked down the sites of his gun with the other.

An exclamation mark appeared over Beast Boy's head.

**BLAM!**

Beast Boy dove to the side and, in midair, changed into an armadillo. He formed into a ball and rolled towards the safety the underside of a parked car provided.

The safari man wouldn't allow it.

**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!**

The shots forced Beast Boy to change direction. He transformed into a snake and slithered across the road in an S pattern while chunks of road flew up around him. He crawled behind a concession stand and changed back to his regular form.

On the roof, the safari man had his rifle trained on the makeshift store.

"Come on out now, lad." He called. "Let's not dilly dally. That green skin of yours makes you look a bit dicky, but you're not completely duff. Turn your little self into something that's not in my trophy room before I send you to the taxidermist, eh?"

Beast Boy allowed himself a smirk behind the concession stand.

"Something not in your trophy room, huh?"

The safari man looked down his gun sites to make sure Beast Boy didn't get away as something small.

That wasn't a problem.

**ROAR!**

STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!

The safari man looked away from his gun and found himself face to face with a very large, very angry and very green t-rex.

He gulped.

Beast Boy spun and whipped his tail around. The safari man dove to the ground as it smashed through the billboard sign behind him. He stood and ran away in the general direction of the stage, leaping onto another roof. With a snarl, the green t-rex followed with lumbering strides.

TTTTTTTTTT

Starfire stumbled out of the storefront, her purple boots crunching over broken glass. She looked up into the broad, strong face of a knight seated in the saddle atop a mechanical stallion.

"I know my actions appear unseemly and disrespectful, lady, but I am but a humble servant of the Queen. Her whim is mine command. I must not disobey, lest I dishonor myself and my family. I pray you forgive me."

"Um...You are forgiven?"

"I thank you, kind lass." The knight bowed as much as possible while mounted. "I shall remember your liberal heart during the upcoming battle. I shall strive to make your end honorable and painless."

He kicked the flanks of his metal horse and charged, his lance aimed at Starfire's chest.

**GRIP!**

Starfire caught the weapon under her arm. The knight gasped in astonishment just before she flung him out of the saddle with a dreadful clattering.

Across the square, the T-Car skidded to a sliding stop. Inside, Cyborg mashed a series of buttons and a huge sonic cannon emerged from the roof. He hit a few more buttons to aim the weapon up at the HMS Victory II...

**YANK!**

A pair of muscular arms dragged him out of the car through the window and wrecked him through a brick wall. Before Cyborg could shake out the cobwebs, his attacker picked him up again and he found himself face to face with him.

It was a British strongman: Bald except for the bushy handlebar mustache and wearing a stripped body suit.

"Time to work your pecs, eh?"

"Work this!"

**CLANG!**

Cyborg attacked with a head butt. The strongman let out a grunt of pain and lost his grip. Cyborg landed on the ground, laced his hands together and jumped forward.

**WHAM!**

The two large combatants shuffled by as Noir blurred into position underneath a descending Raven. He held out his hands-

**THUMP!**

They landed in a tangle of limbs and capes and wooden swords. Raven stood and looked at the silent swordsman.

"I should thank you..."

Noir waited.

Raven turned and looked up at the floating ship.

Noir sighed-

"Thank you."

A British voice squealed from the ship's deck.

"FIRE!"

**B-B-BOOM!**

TTTTTTTTTT

"Ooof!"

I rolled across the ground and slammed into the side of the pageant stage. The ice shield I'd put up shattered into pieces. As I made my way to my feet, a coiled length of orange electrical cord caught my eye.

_Not exactly a lasso but..._

I picked up it up just as the British soldier was coming at me again. I blocked a jab and wrapped the cord around his wrist. He tried for a wide hook next, but I ducked and wrapped the cord around his waist. I twirled the the cord around his neck and pivoted to where we were back to back. I bent over sharply and pulled as hard as I could. The soldier flipped over my head and smacked into the ground. Being my irrepressible self, I tried to kick him while he was down, but he blocked and shoved me away.

We faced off once again. He glared at me while I inconspicuously tied a Texas knot into the cord. The soldier charged at me again even as I let the cord fly. The makeshift lasso wrapped around a paint bucket left out from the preparations the day before. I pulled hard and arced the heavy bucket for the soldier's head.

The soldier dodged and held up his rifle like a pole. The length of the cord wrapped around it and changed the bucket's trajectory.

My eyes widened.

**WHAM!**

I fell into a pile of pipes.

"Raugh!"

Robin descended, twirling his bo-staff.

**CLANK!**

The soldier blocked with his rifle. He hit a hidden button and, once again, the bayonet roared to life as a mini chainsaw.

**SLICE!**

The weapon sheared through Robin's bo staff. The Boy Wonder was still locked in surprised when the soldier jabbed it at him next.

A orange lasso arced through the air, fell down the soldier's body and stopped at his ankles.

I pulled and his legs went out from under him. He landed and rolled away to regain his footing.

Robin had a birdarang poised in his hand.

I had my laser pistol trained.

The soldier's rifle was aimed right back at me, though he glanced over his shoulder at Robin.

"Give it up!" Robin barked. "You're outnumbered."

The soldier wasn't listening. Robin tossed his birdarang, but the soldier had already pulled the trigger.

**BLAM!**


	95. Wings of Stone, Teeth of Yellow 7

"Nnnnrrgggh!" Cyborg sweats and grits his teeth, wrestling palm-to-palm with the black-mustached, bald strongman presently forcing the android Titan to buckle down to his knees in the center of the battle-strewn Main Street. "Mmffnaugh….nngnh!"

"Hmm?" the strongman smirks and applies even more pressure on the struggling Titan. "Getting the knobbly knees, are you? Feh.. ….You yanks are all alike. Too much fannying around about politics, money, and rubbish to ever bother with exercise and body-building!"

"Mmmmfffnngh!" Cyborg hisses and clenches his muscles. "Hey! Watch what you say about RUBBISH!" He yells and shoves back hard against the strongman. "RAAAAUGH!"

The strongman is shove back towards a sidewalk. _Th-Thump!_ He trips over a newspaper vendor and falls back on his shoulders.

Cyborg stands above the man and brings both metal fists up to smash down on him.

The man grunts and kicks the newspaper vendor with two feet. **_CLANG!_**

The metal box slams into Cyborg's chest. _CRACK!_ "Oof!" He knocks the shrapnel away and stumbles, only to be pummeled by the incoming dive of the strong man as he's wrestled towards a line of flower vendors.

Stomping by in the foreground is a lumbering, green T-Rex with pavement pounding feet. The emerald beast lowers its drooling jaws into a ferocious howl as he descends upon the fleeing figure of the safari man.

The pith helmeteer in question glances back over his shoulder in mid-sprint and swiftly tosses a flash grenade straight up into the air. _Thwooosh— _

_**FLASH!** _

A bright light explodes into the giant dinosaur's pixeled eyes. The beast stumbles to a stop and shrinks down into a pint-sized, swirly eyed elf. "Duaaaaa-aaaaah…," a slurring Beast Boy twirls and weaves about. He slaps himself in the skull, shakes out of it, and blinks a normal pair of eyes across the street. "… … …wh-where'd he go--?" He suddenly gasps. "DUDE!"

Seated on a street corner, glistening in a museum euphoria of light, is a shiny, retro moped of blue steel and red finish. British design. Spotless and pure.

"DUDE!" Beast Boy skates over on grinding hooves and cups his hands together while grinning glisteningly at the vehicular beauty. "A real 1960s Phillips Panda Mark 1! The last of its kind before the development of the Gadabout models! Squeeeeeeee-eeee-eee! I must ride it! Just once!" A huge, monumental sweatdrop adorns his crown. He glances back at the carnage of the fight. "Battle…." He looks at the moped. "Bike." He looks back. "Battle." He looks at the moped. "MMmm-B-Bike." A beat. Crickets. Beast Boy's brain processes POP(!) "Awwww **fluff** **it**!" He rubs his palms together, leaps dramatically, and righteously straddles the antique. "Vroom! VROOM!"

**_Fl-FLASH_**! The hologram of the moped flickers away, revealing to the jade changeling that he is actually straddling a city bench.

"Uhhh.. … ..Ow?"

**_CL-CLANGGG!_** A cage drops down on him from above.

"H-Huh? Grrrrr_RRR_—" He morphs momentarily into a bear and charges the metal bars---

**_ZAAAAAAP!_** The electrified metal zaps him back onto his smoking butt.

"OWCH! Duuuuuude! Weak!" He pouts.

The safari man walks up, his hand on a remote. "Hmmph! And here I thought I would have some worthy game for the catching!"

"Hey!" Beast Boy frowns and shakes a green fist. "Who're you calling unworthy—"

_**ZAAAP!** _

"AAA!" He shrieks in the form of a leaping squirrel monkey, hugs his smoking tail, and sniffs. "You're a meanie…."

Meanwhile, across the length of Main Street….

"Have at thee!" the knight rides his horse in a full charge towards Starfire.

Starfire backs up nervously and launches one, two, three starbolts. _**FLASH! FL-FLASH!** _

The green globules of energy fly up over the steed's mane and slam broadly against the knight's breastplate. **_CL-CLANG! CLANG!_** The knight bears down on Starfire, undaunted. "HAAUGH!" He stabs down with the full length of the lance.

"Eeek!" Starfire falls back on her fanny and jerks both of her strong hands out, gripping the very end of the lance and holding it back before it can skewer her neck. "Nnnnngh!"

"Your mercy I beg of thee after this most fated scuffle," the knight presses the weight of him and his horse down through the lance. "It is not my typical practice to call malice to a lady—H-Huh?" His eyes squint under his visor.

_Fwoosh!_ In a streak of black smoke, I am running up. I leap over Starfire, touch down onto the lance, and blur up the length of it and—**_WHAMMMMM!_**—jump kick my way through the helmet of the armored calvaryman.

"OOOF!" He shouts from under his metal shell and flies completely off the equine. **_TH-THUDD!_** His horse whinnies and stampedes away from the battle.

_Th-Thap!_ I land in a squat. I take a breath, stand up, and look worriedly at Starfire.

"Nnngh!" She stands, tossing the heavy lance to the ground. _CLANG!_ She brushes herself off. "I-I am not used to battling an enemy who shares my touch of grammatical eloquence."

"Let's worry about that another time, Starfire," Raven floats up and motions straight up towards the _H.M.S. Victory II_. "We must get to Mad Mod! Noir and the boys can handle themselves." She looks my way. ".. …Can't you?"

I blink. _She's actually ASKING me?_ I shrug and salute to her with a nervous smile.

"Good. Starfire, let's fly."

"X'Hal! Righteous **FURY!"** **_FWOOOOSSSH!_** Eyes searing green-hot, Starfire bullets upwards. Raven graciously glides after her.

I take a deep breath. I turn—and at a specific sight immediately unsheathe Myrkblade at the ready—_**CHIIIING!** _

The knight is back up to his feet, and he is pulling a double-edged broadsword straight from his sheathe. "Your duel is accepted, young smoking one!"

I sweatdrop. _Young Smoking One? _

"Let us see if your finesse equals your affection towards the lady's life!" He raises the sword in two hands.

I make a face. _Does he think that me and Starfire— _

He brings the sword down.

_Ahhhh FLUFFICON— _

I blur to the side. **_SLASSSSSSSH!_** The singing metal slices over my head. I roll up into a crouch. He stabs down low at me. I leapfrog up, twirl, and land in a blurring slide with Myrkblade aimed agilely at him.

"Nnnngh!" He swings horizontally in my direction.

I hold a breath and raise Myrkblade---**_CLAAANG!_**—the intended 'parry' sends me and my sword flying across the street and into a lamppost. **_SM-SMACK!_** I wheeze, shake my head, and squint a pair of dazed black eyes at him.

_Clang-Clang-Clang!_ "Rrrrrgh!" He charges at me, sword held high.

I shudder, crack the joints in my neck, and blur straight at him. _Fwoosh-Fwoosh-Fwoosh! _

_Clang-Clang-Clang!_ He charges.

_Fwoosh-Fwoosh-Fwoosh!_ I blur.

_Clang-Clang-Clang!_

_FWOOSH-FWOOSH-FWOOSH!_

**_CLANG! CLANG!_** "NNNNNGH!" He swings his sword down at me upon our impact—

**_THWOOOSH!_** I teleport through him and solidify in a leaping kick against the square of his armored back. _THWUMP! _

"Aaaah!" He gasps into his helmet and flails, stumbles, and falls head-first into the hood of a parked Volkswagen. **_CRUNNNCH!_** His head literally sticks through the trunk. "Mmmmf! Mmmfmmff!" He drops his sword—_CLANG!_—and fights, struggles, wriggles to get his head out until—POP! His naked head comes free of the lodged helmet. He pants, pants, sweats, and exhales as he stands upright. "Whew…."

**_THWACCCCK!_** Myrkblade promptly comes whack-a-moling down onto the top of his skull. The vibration rattles through his eyes, shudders through his neck, shakes through his armor, and wobbles down to his knees until he jolts, reels, and falls down with a moan. "Unnnngh—" _**CLANG!** _

I take a breath, twirl Myrkblade, sheathe it, and glance across the battlefield. "… .. …"

As it so happens, up on the beauty pageant stage…

"Hahahahahaha!" the harlequin leaps and jumps and frolics his way over bullet fragments and tramps in mid-cartwheel over a collapsed Detective Walker. _Th-Th-Th-Thrump! _

"Augh!" Walker hisses through his mustache. "God dammit!"

"Hehehehe—Have it your way, handsome!" the harlequin pulls out a random bar of soap and shoves it into Walker's mouth. _Schump! _

"Mmmmmmf!" Walker protests until—**_CLANG-G-G-G!—_**two tambourines are slammed against each of his cheeks. (GULP) Walker swallows the soap, goes cross-eyed, and burps out a few bubbles.

"Hehehehe!" The harlequin twirls and dances happily at the stage's edge. "Stiff upper lip now!"

_Cl-Clik! _

At the sound of the guns, harelquin glances over from under his feathery mask.

"…. .. ….," Commissioner Ashley has two pistols trained on the impish clown from across the way. She frowns and squints. "I've got two gun barrels, and you've got two lungs." She tightens her fingers on either trigger. "Want to place your bets?"

"Hehehe… …You haven't got the guts!" He winks.

"… … ….," she sighs and lowers her pistols.

"HA! I thought so!" the harlequin points.

"On the contrary," Ashley drones and stares over the harlequin's shoulder. "I haven't got the pizzazz."

"H-Huh?" the harlequin blinks. **_SCHMPPFFFT!_** "URKKK!" The clown's eyes cross.

Decker has come up from behind the gaudily dressed thug with an atomic wedgie. He pulls the back waistband of the crook's polka-dotted briefs a good _two feet_ up into the naked air. A swagger, and the snarling Decker then hoists the clown up further by his britches while religiously slamming his boot up between the harlequin's thighs. **_WHAM!_** Again. **_WHAMMM!_** Again. _**THUDDD!** _

"RRRRRKKKK---" The clown twitches, writhes, and hisses till he drools in paralysis.

_Th-THWOOOSH!_ Decker unceremoniously tosses the thug by his underwear off his stage and into the dented hood of one of the two limos. **_WHANG!_** He dusts his hands off and grunts. "Go visit the ass hospital, Patch Adams."

"Pffft—Nnnghblblb…," Walker stumbles to his feet, spitting bubbles. "About friggin—blbllblb—time…"

"Hey Walker. Zestfully clean?"

"Blbllbl-ck you."

"Gentlemen…," Ashley marches up with a few armed cops and points straight up at the _HMS Victory II_. "…. …I think we have an even bigger problem on our hands."

All of the officers look straight up.

A giant hole has entered in the belly of the ship and is illuminating a bright patch of ground.. … ..right over the site of the two limousines.

Off to the side, Cyborg is still struggling with the strongman.

'Struggling'… ….is a relative term.

"WHOAH---" **_SMASH!_** Cyborg is swung into a building front. "YAAA—" **_CLANG!_** Then into a lamppost. "WHOAH DAAAMN—" **_CLACK!_** And against a half-crushed van.

_Th-Thwump!_ Cyborg is dropped to his feet. He limps around dizzily with flying toasters circling his head. He snaps himself out of the temporal screen saver and looks painfully across the sidewalk—

"Here you go, chum!" _THWOOOSH!_ A giant weight of bulbous, black dumbbells is tossed his way.

"DAAAH!" Cyborg catches the weight by the middle stalk, awkwardly. He reels left and right and then stands—wincing—in the center of the street.

"Very good!" The strongman claps his meaty hands, adjusts his leotard, and tosses another set of dumbbells. "Try this on for size!"

_Th-THWUMP!_ Cyborg catches the second set, stacking it up along with—

"And another!"

­_THWUMP!_ A third set. _TH-THWUMP! _A fourth. _THWUMP!_ Five stacks of metal, black dumbbells. The android sweatdrops profusely as his legs start to wobble and knock-knees beneath him.

"Heh heh heh," the strongman folds his arms smugly and smirks. "There's hope for you yet!"

Then….From off to the side. _"Hey you! Catch!_"

"H-Huh?" The strongman turns. He suddenly, awkwardly catches a lightweight royal musket rifle in two hands. "What's this—?"

**_WHUMP!_** Robin steps in with a metal boot to the strongman's groin.

"UNNNNGH!" the strongman gags, wheezes and falls down to his knees—inadvertently quivering and raising the rifle up like an offering.

Robin accepts it, waits for the strongman to collapse into a fetal position, and props his foot up on him like Columbus' landing. **_SNAP!_** He breaks the rifle over his knee and tilts his head up towards the _HMS Victory II. _

Bard walks up, the limp body of the 'redcoat' thug slung unconsciously over his shoulders. "So, what now? Reckon he's got _pirates_ to toss at us now?"

"Mmmmfnnngh!" Cyborg tosses all the dumbbells off him. **CLAA-AAANG!** He sweats, pants, and limps over to Robin's side. "I vote we outlaw all friggin' DVDs of Monty Python in the Tower for a month!"

"Bite your tongue!" Bard hisses—

"Shhh…Guys…," Robin raises a gloved hand and squints as he sees two female, Titan forms flitting up to the side of the hovering galleon. "… …Our sirens have got a song prepared for the sailor…"


End file.
